Summary: Weddings are a time of joy; a new beginning; and, in some cases, a time of complete and utter insanity. Especially when it's this bunch having a double wedding. Coop/Kiva, Jamie/Allie.
Author's Note: For those who missed the episode, Allie is from the season two episode "Terminate-Her", Kiva's ancestress who is targeted by the Glorft in the classic vein of 'kill the ancestor, erase the descendant', and actually was, in that episode, interested in Jamie; something that Kiva found really disturbing...
Disclaimer: So far, I have yet to succeed in turning my car into the head of a giant robot, thus, I do not own Megas XLR, it's characters and other associated intellectual property. If I ever do, you'll know it from the explosions, gratutitous destruction and giant robot battles. Anyway, fasten your seatbelts and put your megaslushes in the cupholders. Here we go!
-o0O0o-
"Double-Parked Wedding"
By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'
-o0O0o-
Looking out across the room in front of her, Kiva Andru shook her head slightly as a thought occurred to her, 'There are few things stranger than a double wedding with your own ancestors... and I've actually experienced most of them... and I'm not sure if that's actually a good thing. At least with the Glorft finally dealt with, we don't have to worry about them attacking in the middle of the ceremony...'
From beside her, she felt her compatriot in this situation take a deep breath to prepare herself. Considering the situation that the other woman had found herself caught up in; giant robots, time-travelling aliens, descendents from thousands of years in the future, Kiva couldn't entirely blame her for being overwhelmed at times, even now. Especially when the first notes of music began to play and they walked forward out of the anteroom side by side.
It really was a strange feeling, walking down the aisle beside her own great-grandmother - they tended not to count the actual number of greats that were between them, trying was enough to make one feel crazy - their respective husbands-to-be waiting for them at the end. She was fairly certain it wasn't because of an upset stomach, either; years of exposure to her fiance's eating habits - and driving-slash-piloting habits, for that matter - had aided in giving her impressive resistance to anything being able to upset her stomach. She wasn't sure if it was the temporal mechanics of it all, something that she'd reached the point of not being quite as concerned about after all her years spent in the Twenty-First Century - she didn't even call it 'the past' anymore, it had become her present. She probably wouldn't even recognize the future, even if she did go back to it. Maybe it was the fact that after this, there wouldn't really be any going back to the time from which she had came, it would be the final proof that her life was here now - with Coop.
The relationship between Kiva and Harold 'Coop' Cooplowski hadn't been the most romantic, and not just because the first time they actually met she was trying to beat him ninety per cent to death for 'stealing' Megas. More that for all his size, she wasn't actually sure Coop had a romantic cell in his body; not a traditionally romantic one, anyway. Not that she cared much for romance, it was one of the things that future's humanity had lost in the war against the Glorft, there had just been no time for such things. Somehow, though, they still always seemed to find ways to spend time together and enjoy it, especially since they had finished dealing with the Evil Coop from the other universe. After a time, it didn't even center around repairing and modifying the replacement Megas they had brought back from that universe with them. At least by the time they were done with that he had finally learned how to properly realign a particle accelerator; even if he did still keep a hammer nearby just in case.
Spending that time together had moved them from reluctant allies to teammates, from there to friends, attraction, affection, until they were a couple. Part of it was the way he always tried to introduce her to parts of twenty-first century life that had been lost by the future; Megaslushes and Big Gulps, car shows and wrestling, even All Day Time Travel Matinees. Of course, she still wasn't sure that high school reunions not existing in the future was all that big of a loss, but that was another matter entirely. Even without meaning to, he had shown her that there could be life without fighting for her life - and humanity's existence - against the Glorft, that there was more to being human than merely surviving to fight another day. In truth, not that he would ever realise it or she would ever say the words out loud, he had helped save her from herself and what the war had been turning her into. Stopping at the head of the church, she turned to face him as Allie did the same for Jamie and the priest began to speak...
-o0o-
"I now pronounce you husbands and wives; you may now kiss the brides," the priest closed the Bible with a faint sigh of satisfaction at another ceremony well completed, "The correct brides, please, I'm all too aware of that particular act of jocularity."
"Wasn't planning on it, Father," Coop answered, "So is dipping the bride in or out?"
"Dipping the - Coop!" Kiva's question turned into a shout as he tipped her backwards.
Allie gave her new husband a sideways look, "How many greats are there between us and them, again?"
"I don't want to think about it and start feeling that old," Jamie answered defensively before adding a question, "So, do I get to kiss my bride or what?"
"This would be that part of the ceremony, my child," the priest observed with a faint look of amusement.
"I suppose I should let you," Allie answered with a smile and a sigh as she reached out and put her arms around Jamie's neck.
With surprising romance from the known pervert and flirt, Jamie raised his hands to cup his new wife's cheeks as he leaned in for their first kiss as a married couple.
Only a few seconds had passed when Allie pulled away with a start and shouted loud enough to carry in the chapel, "Jamie! You don't kiss the bride with tongue!"
Hearing that, Coop jerked upward with surprise, returning Kiva to her feet as both their heads snapped around to face the other couple. Kiva's eyes were wide with shock and a little horror and as for Coop, well...
Coop looked at Jamie with a grin and made an observation; "Nice."
"That is in me," Kiva muttered, cringing. "It's diluted, but it is in me..."
"Can I give it another try?" Jamie asked.
"No," Allie snapped and, gathering up the skirts of her wedding dress so she wouldn't trip over them, began to rapidly walk back down the aisle towards the door.
"They are married, right? I mean, he didn't just get left at the altar, did he?" Coop asked the priest.
"While quite the different ending from any other ceremony which I've officiated..." the priest tapped the altar thoughtfully. "The ceremony was completed and they did have the kiss, so I don't believe he was left at the altar in the traditional sense; merely a literal sense. Forgive me the unsolicited advice, but he may wish to go after her..."
"She can't go too far, can she?" Jamie remarked.
"Not without a car," Coop shrugged, then his eyes widened.
At the same time, both Kiva and Jamie's eyes widened as well as all three came to a simultaneous realization, thinking about a car leading all three's thoughts in the same direction.
"Megas!" came the shout from all three as they turned and took off running down the aisle and how of the church. The gathered watched in confusion, wondering what was happening with some of them trying to figure out if they could get outside quick enough to throw the rice.
-o0o-
As it turned out, Allie hadn't even considered trying to leave in Megas, she had been pacing in frustration under a tree near the church muttered to herself about why Jamie had to do things like that, as though he were trying to purposefully embarass her in public - and this time at their own wedding, no less. She loved him, even liked him, but sometimes it was like he had no sense of shame or decency. She didn't mind anything in private, but sometimes a girl had to draw a line somewhere or else she'd be letting her man walk all over her and it might as well be drawn in a church.
Her location actually put her in a perfect position to watch as, in almost classic 'Three Stooges' style, the other three newlyweds came charging out of the church at a hard run. Larry, Moe and Curly would have been proud to have included what happened next in any of their films; Jamie missed the steps and found himself tumbling forward and landing face-first on the ground in front of them - fortunately managing not to break his nose in the process - barely rolling to the side and out of the way before Coop jumped the steps entirely and landed on his feet with an audible 'whump' where Jamie had been laying. For her part, Kiva actually managed to stop on the steps without going over, putting her hands on her hips and shaking her head at the actions of the other two before all three of them looked to see the post-wedding transportation was still there in front of the church. All three together let out a sigh of relief at the sight of the giant blue robot standing there waiting with its bright red car for a head.
"Well, that's a relief," Kiva muttered.
"Yeah, but where's..." Jamie was looking around and climbing to his feet as he spoke and then he saw her, "Allie!"
The woman herself was, by this time, standing there with arms folded and foot tapping - face in a set of annoyance to hide the amusement at what she had just seen happen, "Jamie."
Her groom walked across the grass to where she was, then promptly dropped back to his knees, hands locked together in supplication as he started pleading, "I'm sorry, I lost control, it won't happen again, I don't know what I was thinking, I was't thinking, I swear it won't happen again, please don't leave me on our wedding day..."
Allie groaned at his over-dramatics, "Jamie, not in public. You want to grovel, you can do it when we get home so you can do it properly."
The other pair of newlyweds exchanged a look between them that clearly said; 'Properly?'
Jamie's eyes widened as his face paled, "...Would I have to wear the outfit?"
"Don't be silly... of course you'll have to wear the outfit," Allie answered as though there were no point in him even asking. For their part, Coop and Kiva exchanged another look, this one being one of 'Outfit?' They were pretty sure neither of them really wanted to know what that meant, though.
"For now though, since it's not our wedding kiss and we don't have an audience this time..." Allie pulled Jamie to his feet by his tie, "You can give me another one of what you gave me in there."
"I can do that!" Jamie answered gleefully, cupping his new wife's cheeks as he leaned in for their second kiss as a married couple, and this time she didn't pull away as it went French.
"Ain't love grand?" Coop quipped.
Kiva grimaced, "I'm not sure it's love and I'm not sure it's grand."
"I'll let you drive Megas," Coop teased as Kiva walked down the steps until she was next to him and leaned against him.
"Now that's grand," the redhead remarked with a smile.
-o0o-
After waiting for the brides and grooms to come back inside the church so that the departure could be done properly, the guests finally gave up and headed outside to throw rice on them no matter what was happening only to see Megas walking off into the distance with 'Just Married' written on the back glass of the car and a string of trash cans dangling from its ankle and clattering with every step.