Hi, first fanfic ever. AU based on the song Ficelles by Ingrid St-Pierre. It is a really pretty yet sad song, I made a free translation, and I do recommend to listen to it. It's on youtube no worries.
Italics for lyrics, even if it's the dialogue.
P.S. : I wanted that story sad... Tell me if I managed to at least move any of you! So yeah enjoy!
: Ficelles means Threads.
I do not own the characters nor the song.
The days and seasons
The colour of my eyes
Lyrics of songs
Those the two of us used to sing
It started beningly. Nothing alarming really, not even out of ordinary. I can't even pinpoint the day exact it started, but if I had to, I'd guess in spring.
You woudn't remember which day we are or you would have a slight hesitation when deciding if you were to put a jacket on or not. And that one time, at the begining of June, you just kept getting those big coat out of the wardrobe. I remember I tought that maybe it was for your job; to prepare your winter collection, what with fashion's weird schedule.
Sometimes, when you looked at me, you would gasp and marvel at my eyes. Just like you did the first time we met. «Oh Alexander! I think I am drowning in the blue of your eyes.» or «Who would have thought that afetr so many years, I could find a new favourite colour?» and even «How come I never noticed how superb your gaze is? Now I'll never let you look away from me, Sayang*». Even when some sounded off, I would dismiss it as another pick-up line; one of the many you said to me.
Thinking about it, I remember once, we were walking in Central Park, just enjoying the other's company and the good weather. We heard a musician playing one of our favourite song, and you couldn't resist – of course you couldn't – you started singing along. Reaching the chorus you froze. A confuse expression was painted on you face. Hurriedly I continued the song for you. At the end of it, you kissed my redden cheek, a small smile on you lips. For the rest of the night you seemed distraught that you weren't able to continue, but hey it doesn't matter, it happens to everyone doesn't? Doesn't?
Looking back, it's easy to see the signs, but then I didn't notice.
The way to your house
How to put make-up on your eyes
Your children's birthday
It's about a month after those tiny episodes that something major happened. It was on June 19th; a Friday. Oh how clearly I remember that day.
Usually, you would arrive first at the apartment, but Jace and I finished our investigation report faster; therefore, I got home earlier. Wanting to surprise you, I stopped at the supermarket to gather the ingredients for me to cook those Indonesian Saté Tempeh that you like so much. Since they're not a complicated dish, I even had time to light some candles all over the apartement – for the ambiance – before the time you arrive normally. Then I took Chairman Meow, our cat, and I waited.
And waited.
And waited.
I know that because of my job I have a tendency toward over-protectiveness and worry to much – you repeat it enough thanks – but you'll have to forgive me : 3 hours of waiting got me on edge. I know that the past week had been really stressful for you were often in your thoughts or revising your sketches and files and some mornings you would even forget to put some make-ups on in your hurry. But their is only so much that traffic or last minutes adjustments can explain. With a dreadful feeling, and after 23 voice mails left on your cellphone, I called your office to see if you were on the road home to begin with. If I called for reassurance, I was soon disappointed.
'' M. Bane's office, how may I help you?'' Asked sternly Ragnor.
''Ragnor! It's me Alec, Is Magnus still there?'' I tried to conceal my increasing from my voice. He is probably just finishing a project right?
''Magnus? No he left at 5, as usual... Why? He isn't there yet? He even had something to tell you, he would not have taken any det -'' I hung up on him – I know, I shouldn't have, but I didn't have time to waste – and went outside bringing my phone in case. Something was wrong, I knew it, and I couldn't leave you in a maybe dangerous situation. Because it's not long enough since your disappearance, I had to go search for you myself. I took a cab to your office and started from there. I did the whole distance to our home, then I went to places we used to go, such as Taki's, Central park, that small park near our apartment, etc. Eventually I noticed that it was late, I was exhausted from walking Manathan-Brooklyn back and forth, and I still hadn't eaten. I started to go back home, hoping to find you there, when I heard something. A soft sob. Looking where it came from I saw a familliar shadow crouched in an alley. Coming closer, I couldn't believe it...
''MAGNUS!'' I shouted, running where you were.
I had finally found you. I brought you home, not saying anything, just holding you close while you sobbed the whole way in my arms. Back home, you kept apologizing in my arms, crying, while I was whispering sweet nothings in your ears, kissing your hair and waiting for you to calm down. I was just happy to have you back seemingly safe and sound. After you calmed down, you finally gave an explaination.
''I didn't know where the house was... I did not know! I think I have a problem, I keep forgetting things Alexander...''
I didn't know then, how life-changing that simple sentence was.
Yet do not forget my name...
Later, you were diagnosed with «probable Alzheimer». They can never be sure, more test will have to be done.
Your memories from before
I'll keep watch on them, you know?
Catch them in the wind
Recount them if you wish
Years ago, in the beginning of our relationship, we had that small yet devastating break-up. I wasn't honest with my surrounding about you and you weren't honest with me about your past. When we got back together, you gave me a journal with past stories that marked you. I never thought that one day, you would need me to narrate your stories. Yet here we are, months after your diagnosis, your condition got worse so fast... but you don't need to worry, I am here. I'll tell you about William, James and Tessa, your first friends. I'll tell you about Etta, Woosley and Camille, your past lovers. I'll tell you about Catarina and Ragnor, your friend and your co-worker.
I'll tell you our first meeting all over again.
I'll tie threads
To your fleating memories
And the day they'll fly away
I'll make kite out of them
But don't forget my name...
The Angel only knows how many times I almost broke under the pressure, how much I sometimes wanted to give in to those doctors that kept saying that putting you in a special house would be the solution. But I love you too much, and insisted that you stayed home with me. One thing that kept me going - that made me able to keep genuinely smiling to you - was that you never forgot my name. One time you saw me crying in the bathroom, and I will never forget what you said to me. You told me ''Don't worry, Darling, my Alexander will come back soon and make everything better. He is that kind, so worry not, ok?'' while petting my hair.
For some, it could sound horrible. But not to me. You would forget memories of us, pieces of information about me, even what I look like, but never you forgot my name. Always you associated «Alexander» to love and comfort. I think that was my strength.
I'll write «I love you»
Everywhere in the house
And if you forget me anyway
Right under you'll find my name
And I'll be there for good
And I'll be there for good
At some point, you got sicker and sicker. It was making you physically weak and a simple cold soon got worse. I knew the end was getting close, and I was so scared that maybe I wouldn't be by your side. You see, Jia my boss gave me my vacations so I could take care of you. She was really understanding. Nevertheless, I still had to go outside, at least to the grocery or the pharmacist, and I was affraid that at any moment you would need me whie I was not there. So everytime I went out, I took out the post-its and wrote «Magnus, I love you. - Alexander». I wrote it as many times as I could and stuck them everywhere in the house. I wanted you to remember that you are not alone, that you are loved, and if you forgot me, you would have proof of my love everywhere you went.
I'll tie threads
To your fleating memories
And the day they'll fly away
I'll make kite out of them
But don't forget my name
But don't forget my name
But don't forget my name
But don't forget my name...
And just like we did when we were in an impass, today we wait and hope for the best.
* Sayang means Love in Indonesian