Ok I'm not sure whether I'm going to write this or not. I might write it in
the future, but I need to now what people think of it first. It's just a
sample. Read and tell me what you think ok? Thanks! ;p
Chapter 1: Don't Quit Your Day Job
"Next!"
"Ha ha! This is it. Finally my dream will be realized. I Phoenix Leonhart will become the next Final Fantasy stud to grace the scene. Hot girls will bow at my feet and…"
"Next!"
"...People will realize who the true hero is to bare the Leonhart name!"
"Next!"
"I'll be famous, adored, my fans will build a shrine in my honor! I'll even get my own website!"
"Hey asshole you're holding up the line!"
"Huh?" Phoenix finally snapped out of his egotistical coma to meet the eyes of many angry hopefuls. He had been waiting in line for over three hours. It would have been shorter but he had been the victim of some very bad convenience store burritos and had to haul ass to the men's room, losing his spot in line. He walked up to the table, smiled, winked and handed the interviewer his resume.
"Hmm. Phoenix Leonhart eh?" the woman glanced through his rather short resume.
"Yes, Leonhart. I'm sure that name rings a bell. I'm Squall Leonhart's cousin. I did all his stunt work in Final Fantasy VIII." He smiled wide as if just mentioning that name would be his ticket into the final two. The woman just looked up at him, raising an eyebrow.
"You did all his stunt work?"
"Uh yeah of course! I mean Squall's a good guy and all, but all he is is eye candy. I'm the one who made him man he is today. He tells me that all the time, in fact he said that just the other day over lunch."
The truth of the matter is Phoenix didn't do any of Squall's stunts. Phoenix just showed up on the set everyday, eating all the food and drinking all the coffee. He'd get right up behind the director shouting out "helpful" tips on how Squall could add some pizzazz to his performance and explaining how he would have done things had he been in the game instead of Squall. Long story short, Squall had him "kindly" removed and filed a restraining order. They haven't talked since, or rather Squall deletes the 30 something phone messages from his answering machine everyday.
A few lines over a tall, attractive, dark haired woman stood in line. She stood very confidently, holding her very thick resume in hand. As she approached the front of the line she handed the papers to the young mad sitting in front of her.
"Name" he said, tossing her resume aside. She twitched a little at the sight of it.
"Anya Mooredock" she said with head held high.
"Position you're auditioning for?"
"Isn't it obvious?" she was beginning to get annoyed with him. "I'm going for the role of the fierce, feisty, heroine who kicks major butt while wearing very skimpy clothing!"
"Mm hmm…yeah well you've got the look, but if I were you I'd think about auditioning for some other roles."
"What? What for?"
"There are lot's of women trying out for that part, your chances are pretty slim. If I were you I'd try out for something else as back up."
"Well…what other parts are there?" she didn't really want to go for any other part, but she didn't want to miss her chance to get into the next Final Fantasy game.
"Let's see… instead of the cool sexy woman who kicks lot's of ass you can be the…ah here we are…you can play the somewhat beautiful lead female who is really annoying, totally useless, the only thing she can do is healing, wants everyone to feel sorry for her and is always running off and getting everyone killed!"
"What?! I'm not playing that shit! That's insulting!" she reached over the table and grabbed the young man by his collar. "Do I look like I should be playing that role maggot?"
"N…no" he gulped. "I'll just put you on the list…heh heh"
"Damn straight!" she let him go, sending him flying back into his chair.
Anya left the line even surer than before that the part was hers. Se went over to the waiting area with the others and sat down. Her dream was finally coming true. It had been a dream of hers ever since she was little to become just like her idol Tifa Lockhart. She was off in a daze smiling to herself, until she realized the person sitting next to her was looking at her, her breasts to be exact. She slowly looked over to find Phoenix ogling her boobs. She scowled.
"Do you mind?" she hissed.
"Nope!" he grinned.
"Uh you're disgusting" Anya rolled her eyes.
"Are those real?" Phoenix began to reach out his hand toward her chest; he wasn't one for subtlety.
*SLAP*
Phoenix went flying across the room landing on a cactus. Anya growled and got up from her seat. She refused to sit and deal with men like that. She was almost toward the door when Phoenix stepped in front of her, cactus needles still protruding from his rear and face.
"So can I call you?" he said plucking a needle from his pants.
"You've got to be kidding"
"What? You don't have a phone?" he was serious.
"Ok…" she smiled. "You can call me. You got paper?"
"Oh hot damn!" he said quickly checking his pockets; he pulled out some paper and a pen, ready to get the digits.
"Ok…it's 123-4567"
"Oh yeah 123-4567. Be expecting to hear from me tonight sweet thing!" he winked at her, kissing the paper. The ink from it smeared onto his lips.
"Uh huh" Anya smiled, trying desperately not to laugh at this moron who now had the number printed across his mouth.
As he walked off triumphantly, believing he was a total stud, Anya fell to the ground laughing hysterically.
"What a dumbass! Luckily for me he'll never make it into the finals!"
Chapter 1: Don't Quit Your Day Job
"Next!"
"Ha ha! This is it. Finally my dream will be realized. I Phoenix Leonhart will become the next Final Fantasy stud to grace the scene. Hot girls will bow at my feet and…"
"Next!"
"...People will realize who the true hero is to bare the Leonhart name!"
"Next!"
"I'll be famous, adored, my fans will build a shrine in my honor! I'll even get my own website!"
"Hey asshole you're holding up the line!"
"Huh?" Phoenix finally snapped out of his egotistical coma to meet the eyes of many angry hopefuls. He had been waiting in line for over three hours. It would have been shorter but he had been the victim of some very bad convenience store burritos and had to haul ass to the men's room, losing his spot in line. He walked up to the table, smiled, winked and handed the interviewer his resume.
"Hmm. Phoenix Leonhart eh?" the woman glanced through his rather short resume.
"Yes, Leonhart. I'm sure that name rings a bell. I'm Squall Leonhart's cousin. I did all his stunt work in Final Fantasy VIII." He smiled wide as if just mentioning that name would be his ticket into the final two. The woman just looked up at him, raising an eyebrow.
"You did all his stunt work?"
"Uh yeah of course! I mean Squall's a good guy and all, but all he is is eye candy. I'm the one who made him man he is today. He tells me that all the time, in fact he said that just the other day over lunch."
The truth of the matter is Phoenix didn't do any of Squall's stunts. Phoenix just showed up on the set everyday, eating all the food and drinking all the coffee. He'd get right up behind the director shouting out "helpful" tips on how Squall could add some pizzazz to his performance and explaining how he would have done things had he been in the game instead of Squall. Long story short, Squall had him "kindly" removed and filed a restraining order. They haven't talked since, or rather Squall deletes the 30 something phone messages from his answering machine everyday.
A few lines over a tall, attractive, dark haired woman stood in line. She stood very confidently, holding her very thick resume in hand. As she approached the front of the line she handed the papers to the young mad sitting in front of her.
"Name" he said, tossing her resume aside. She twitched a little at the sight of it.
"Anya Mooredock" she said with head held high.
"Position you're auditioning for?"
"Isn't it obvious?" she was beginning to get annoyed with him. "I'm going for the role of the fierce, feisty, heroine who kicks major butt while wearing very skimpy clothing!"
"Mm hmm…yeah well you've got the look, but if I were you I'd think about auditioning for some other roles."
"What? What for?"
"There are lot's of women trying out for that part, your chances are pretty slim. If I were you I'd try out for something else as back up."
"Well…what other parts are there?" she didn't really want to go for any other part, but she didn't want to miss her chance to get into the next Final Fantasy game.
"Let's see… instead of the cool sexy woman who kicks lot's of ass you can be the…ah here we are…you can play the somewhat beautiful lead female who is really annoying, totally useless, the only thing she can do is healing, wants everyone to feel sorry for her and is always running off and getting everyone killed!"
"What?! I'm not playing that shit! That's insulting!" she reached over the table and grabbed the young man by his collar. "Do I look like I should be playing that role maggot?"
"N…no" he gulped. "I'll just put you on the list…heh heh"
"Damn straight!" she let him go, sending him flying back into his chair.
Anya left the line even surer than before that the part was hers. Se went over to the waiting area with the others and sat down. Her dream was finally coming true. It had been a dream of hers ever since she was little to become just like her idol Tifa Lockhart. She was off in a daze smiling to herself, until she realized the person sitting next to her was looking at her, her breasts to be exact. She slowly looked over to find Phoenix ogling her boobs. She scowled.
"Do you mind?" she hissed.
"Nope!" he grinned.
"Uh you're disgusting" Anya rolled her eyes.
"Are those real?" Phoenix began to reach out his hand toward her chest; he wasn't one for subtlety.
*SLAP*
Phoenix went flying across the room landing on a cactus. Anya growled and got up from her seat. She refused to sit and deal with men like that. She was almost toward the door when Phoenix stepped in front of her, cactus needles still protruding from his rear and face.
"So can I call you?" he said plucking a needle from his pants.
"You've got to be kidding"
"What? You don't have a phone?" he was serious.
"Ok…" she smiled. "You can call me. You got paper?"
"Oh hot damn!" he said quickly checking his pockets; he pulled out some paper and a pen, ready to get the digits.
"Ok…it's 123-4567"
"Oh yeah 123-4567. Be expecting to hear from me tonight sweet thing!" he winked at her, kissing the paper. The ink from it smeared onto his lips.
"Uh huh" Anya smiled, trying desperately not to laugh at this moron who now had the number printed across his mouth.
As he walked off triumphantly, believing he was a total stud, Anya fell to the ground laughing hysterically.
"What a dumbass! Luckily for me he'll never make it into the finals!"