This is a SwanQueen story without a happy ending. Sort of bittersweet heartbreak.. maybe.. I dunno. It's less painful than the show.
Warning:Cheating and No happy ending.
Emma knocks on the door of 108 Mifflin Street before glancing down to look at the bottle of scotch in her hand. She takes one last swig before placing it below the step and attempts to straighten herself up. The brunette that appears at the door is cautious and immediately see's through the thin layer of composure Emma has attempted.
"Swan. What are you doing here?" It never used to be like that. Emma used to be able to show up at anytime day or night and would be greeted with a smile.
She doesn't feel like explaining to Regina that she doesn't really know why she is here, although there is plenty she would like to say to the woman. Instead she just says "It's not fair you know." And if it came out a little more aggressive than she intended, well she doesn't really care.
Regina just sighs and rests her shoulder against the door frame with her arms folded.
Silence. Emma and Regina both know it is a powerful tool. Regina waits in silence for Emma to elaborate. Emma waits in silence for Regina to pick one of the many things she could be talking about.
Regina breaks first as her patience with the Blonde has been worn thin over the years. "That your pirate dumped you?" She drawls, even thought they both know it was the other way around.
"That you picked him." Shit. She hadn't meant to say that.
Six months. Six months since she had told Regina she loved her. Six months since they spent hours tangled in Reginas sheets till the early morning. Six months since Regina had told her she needed some time to think but never bought it up again.
The smug look on Regina's face disappear's instantly as she stands up straight. "Emma." She warns, glancing over her shoulder for any signs of Robin.
"That is what happened right? You picked him over me?" Emma swallows her pride because, well, she has already ruined it. "That isn't fair. I was here first. I loved you first."
Regina step's forward and her hand twitches toward Emma slightly before she thinks better of it. "You know that isn't what happened." She whisper's hurriedly.
"Regina, who is it?" Robin calls from somewhere within the house.
"It's just Emma, Dear." She calls out over her shoulder, never taking her eye's of Emma.
"Well, is she coming in?" He calls again.
"No Dear." Regina calls back, pushing Emma back out of the doorway as she steps forward and pulls the door shut behind her.
"Bullshit that isn't what happened." Emma growls not bothering to follow Regina's lead and keep their conversation quiet. "You told me you loved me. Then you went back to Him." She spits.
"Emma, I do love you." Regina whisper's desperately "But you know I couldn't just leave him. Not after everything that happened."
"So you just pretend to love him." Emma laughs harshly. "How is that any better?"
"I'm not pretending. I do love him."
Emma's heart lurches in pain and she almost want's to keel over. Somehow though she manages to remain upright.
"It's not the same and you know it." It's a desperate grasp for something to ease the pain, but Emma honestly hasn't got a clue about the nature of Regina and Robin's relationship. She barely see's either of them anymore.
"What sort of person would I be if I left him like that Emma?"
"A happier one." She remarks before turning her back to Regina and grabbing her bottle of scotch hidden below the step.
Regina eye's the bottle but say's nothing of it save pursing her lips with a slight frown.
"And what about Roland Emma? Don't you think he needs a mother figure? Someone to care for him?"
"I grew up without a mother." Emma grumbles before taking a swig of her scotch and scrunching up her face at the burn.
"Yes and look at you now." Regina snaps before grabbing the bottle from Emma's hands "Getting drunk on my doorstep because you can't deal with the cards you have drawn."
"The cards you fucking gave me Regina."
"Yes, the cards I gave you." Regina snarks. "Because I made you fall in love with me when fate was already set."
"You could have said you didn't love me. You could decided not to spend hours shuddering and moaning underneath me." Emma whispers darkly, suddenly so close that Regina can smell the alcohol on her breath. "You could have said no to spending the rest of your life with a man you don't love."
"Emma." Regina plea's sadly "His wife was murdered by me, and then again because of me. I am the reason that little boy in there has no mother."
"So you are going to spend the rest of your life making it up to them?" Emma wishes she didn't sound so petulant and reaches forward to grab the bottle back from Regina.
But the brunette holds firm and maintains Emma's gaze as their fingers brush together around the bottle. "Emma.. If I left Robin to be with you.. I would feel too guilty. I wouldn't be able to live with myself for doing that to another family. A family that I love."
Emma scoff's then. "What about our family, Regina?"
"I can't atone for all of my sins. But this one... I can try to atone for this one." Emma's eyes close then unable to hold Regina's imploring gaze. "But if I didn't try... if I just left him for you, I would resent myself for it. I would resent you. It would break us Emma."
Emma's eyes open then as a single tear trails down her cheek and her hand drops to caress Regina's around the bottle.
"Why do you have to be so selfless?" She whisper's.
Regina smiles sadly as she reaches her other hand up to wipe the errant tear from Emma's face with her thumb. "Someone needs to be."
"I don't." The blonde replies with slight aggression before reaching behind Regina's neck and pulling her the small distance between them and crashing their lips together.
Regina knows it is wrong to kiss back. She knows it goes against everything she just said, but it's Emma. The woman she wishes she could spend the rest of her life with, guilt free. So she moves her lips slightly as her own tears begin to mark her face.
When Emma pulls back slightly, her eyes are closed. She presses her forehead against Regina's as she moves her hand back up to grasp the neck of the bottle still clutched between them. She doesn't open her eyes as she whispers, "I will never stop loving you.".
Regina sob's when Emma's voice cracks in the broken whisper and she doesn't resist as the blonde pulls the bottle from her grasp.
Emma doesn't open her eyes until her back is to Regina and she is walking down the path of 108 Mifflin street for what she thinks is going to be her last venture for a very long time.