"Gossip"
by Quills

"Really Commander, you must learn to better govern your emotions." said the Vulcan

"Sorry, but not all of us can be content being half alive." he responded sarcastically

"Indeed" she said "Need I remind you that Vulcans are quite 'alive' Commander. We merely
seek to control out emotions and not have them control us."

"Quite clearly you are having difficulties with this."

"The only difficulty I have is showin you how wrong you are." said Trip

The two officers entered the turbolift taking their argument with them.
The turbolift door closed and the bridge remained silent for several seconds before Travis Merriweather spoke.

"Does anyone buy that performance?" said Travis

"I certainly don't." responded Reed "How much do you want to bet they're making out in the turbolift?"

"No bet here." said the Captain with a smile.

"I can't believe they really think they're fooling anyone by pretending to argue all the time." said Travis

"I think it's cute." said Hoshi "They make a good couple."

"Yeah, well your not the unlucky crewmember who drew quarters assignment just opposite of Commander Tucker's bedroom." said Reed with annoyance. "I swear I can hear them goin at it all night long. Can't they
use T'Pol's quarters to get a snog?"

"Malcolm!" said Hoshi in shock

"What? It's true." said Reed "The walls shake like were being hit by a volley of torpedoes. I'm peelin plaster out of my hair all night long."

"I'm not surprised." said Travis "T'Pol must wear Trip down. What with her holdin in her emotions all day and all. She must be wound tighter than a first year cadet during finals week."

"Yeah" agreed Reed "I'll bet Trip leaves skid marks by the time they're finished."

Travis and Reed started laughing...Hoshi rolled her eyes and the Captain just shook his head

"Actually" interjected a voice from the back of the bridge" Vulcan's are capable of quite physical sexual
practices."

It was Phlox.

"Their natural unsuppressed emotions are much stronger than humans." he added "I'm quite certain she
'rocks his world'."

"You know something we don't Doctor?" said the Captain with a wink. The Doctor winked back at the Captain not certain what the gesture meant. The Captain just shook his head again and rolled his eyes.

"Well...as ship's Doctor I am of course privy to the crews health and well being." he said "However, I'm afraid that under Doctor/patient confidentiality I cannot disclose this knowledge."

"What if I made it an order." said the Captain

"Oh, well that's different." said Phlox "Sub Commander T'Pol has recently requested an increase in her
nasal inhibiting agent. I can only surmise that this is do to an increase in proximity or exposure to
a human or humans."

"That doesn't sound very interesting." said Reed

"Yeah" agreed Travis "got any dirt?"

"Dirt? " said the Doctor questioningly "I assure you Mr. Merriweather I keep a very clean sickbay."

The Captain smiled "He means do you have anything more interesting of a personal nature."

"Ah, I see" he said "Well, now that you mention it, Commander Tucker has been coming in recently for
pain medication."

"What for?" said the Captain

"He claims he pulled a muscle exercising." said Phlox "However, my medical scans show the muscles affected are ones that would be indicative of someone fighting restraints."

"She ties him up?" said Hoshi "Kinky"

"I would imagine so." said Phlox "There are also indications of physical intimacy on Sub Commander T'Pol. At her last physical she went through great pains to conceal a small welt on her neck. From all indications it appears to have been made by teeth."

"A hicky?" said Archer "Trip you little devil."

"It's true love." said Hoshi

"Maybe T'Pol is secretly studying Trip." said Travis "She might be on an assignment
for the Vulcan high command. Ya know...probing us for weak spots."

"Yeah, you might be right" said the Captain "She might be trying to see if she can drown Trip in his own drool."

"Well you'd have to be dead not to notice her." said Travis "She is one stacked Vulcan."

"That dress doesn't go far to hide much." said Archer

"Yeah, can you believe how she dresses." said Hoshi "Wearing that cat suit and having her boobs sticking
out like a pair of Malcolm's torpedoes. Does anyone believe those are real?"

"Looks good to me." said Reed with a smile

"Oh, so you like seeing her slinking around the ship in a suit that accentuates every sensual curve of her body as she purses those full pouty lips licking them gently as she bends over for everyone to see that perfectly shaped butt and those long taut legs?" said Hoshi "Am I the only one who thinks that's just a little tacky?"

All the men on the bridge just stood with their mouths open.

"Well quite clearly I am!" she said

"I think I need a cold shower." said Reed

"We need to stop talking about Trip and T'Pol." said Archer "They're the only ones gettin any action around here while the rest of us live vicariously through them. I need to start scheduling more shore leaves."

"Sounds good to me." said Travis " How about the Martez station. I hear they have a full 'recreation'
facility if you know what I mean."

"Yeah, we can leave Trip and T'Pol in charge of the bridge." said Reed

Just then the turbolift doors opened. Out stepped Commander Tucker. Everyone immediately
quieted down and turned towards their stations.

"That's right Mr. Reed, I want those sensors calibrated yesterday." said the Captain trying to cover.

"Yes sir." said Reed "Right away sir."

"Everything ok Cap'n" asked Trip

"Fine" said the Captain

"I thought you and T'Pol were going to Engineering." said archer

"Yeah, well you know. I can only stand her for so long. I needed a break." he said

"I understand completely." said Archer with a smile "She must really...work you over."

The rest of the bridge crew stifled their giggles.

"Yeah, well you know how it is." said Trip

"I wish" muttered Archer

"What was that sir." said Trip

"I said I'm sure she does." Archer told him

"Well, I guess I'll get back to Engineering." said Trip

"Ok Trip." said Archer

Trip entered the turbolift. As the doors closed he heard the distinct sound of laughter ring out from the bridge. He wondered what was so funny.

The End