Summary: What if Justing didn't get to leave? set in season 3. Ethan beats Justin. :( May contain Spoilers...
A/N: One of my first queer as folk stories:D I really like it
Now I realize what I've had and What I've lost 'cause I'm feeling the pain Now I realize what is changing What is missing Right now and only now
Any breathe I take I think of all those things you did to demonstrate your love...
You're running and running.
And then…
You stop!
You stopped running, you stopped breathing, you stopped thinking.
Thinking about the reason that had you running in the first place, the reason why the tears on your face are still going on and on.
Brian never hit you, your father hit you once and Hobbs almost killed you. But Ethan…, no, you never thought his love for you would come out in such a cruel and hurtfull way. If that was Ethan's idea of love, then love sucked. He never thought he would think this. But from that moment on, he didn't believe in love anymore.
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Justin's POV…Earlier that evening.
"I need you," he tells me. I want to laugh in his face so badly, but I don't. He cheated, I wasn't needed then, so I am not needed now.
"You'll do just fine without me, " I say as I turn to reach the door handle. Opening it, I can't wait to get out of here. But then something happened and I never saw it coming.
"No!" He screams before grabbing my arm and yanking it so I have to turn around to face him.
"No? You telling me I can't go?" I pause taking my time to say this. " I make my own rules Ethan, It's over, now leave me alone."
As quick as he could, he slammed the door shut. Now standing in the way of my only exit, he starts talking.
"Justin…" He says. It's in a tone I never heard before. So calm, so quiet, so deadly. " I can't let you go. I won't let you go. You can't leave me. It was one stupid mistake Justin. And you will stay with me and forgive me." This is not a question. Do I dare to say no again?
I realize his hand is still on my arm and he is squeezing it harder and harder by the second. With his other hand he's touching my face letting his fingers slide over my cheek and into my hair. He gently pulls my hair away from my eyes. He takes a step forward so his body is touching mine. I can feel his hot breath against my ear. Slowly but hard he whispers to me: "You will never ever leave me and if you do, I promise I will make you hurt, cry and bleed. I keep my promises, Justin."
Having said that, he kisses my cheek and smiles at me. An evil smile, like a grin but not quite that, cause his eyes, dark as the night this is happening in, make the smile venomous.
I've never seen that look before on him and it scares me, it really does. I haven't said a word, I think I stopped breathing, but I am not sure. My eyes are teary and I am frozen to the ground. My body just won't move; I think it's as scared as my heart is. His love has turned into a power over me, that has developed in mere seconds. I feel like getting bashed again. This time I can make my own choices, but I don't. I feel like a teenager again who has to listen to everyone and doesn't have permission to live. If you told somebody what happened after those silent moments, they would have told you that you should have walked away…again but I didn't. And I try. I try again to leave…. to walk to the door, but I never make it. That's when he did what he had to do.
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It's late and you stumble into the diner. You hope no one will notice. You don't bleed, but you have a red mark all over your face. Your eyes are swollen and red. Allergies maybe?
You didn't even know where you were going until you heard that little bell over your head, announcing your own presence. Your body has entered, you lost your soul somewhere in that apartment. You see Michael and Ben sitting there and across from them is Brian.Neither of them notice you. You walk straight to the men's room to check on yourself, to hide yourself. And when you enter, you run into a toilet and fall into the corner crying your eyes out yet again. You know he will come search for you, cause you are his; He made that point to you loud and clear. He won't be nice about it. You just hope Brian or Deb doesn't see it in you.
After 5 minutes of crying, you stand and leave the stall. You look at yourself in the mirror and you can't say you are shocked of what you see. That red mark is there. And yes, your eyes are still as puffy if not more. You blow out a series of hot air to calm yourself down. You know why you came here. Brian is here and it's a public place. You want to tell Brian what happened, before Ethan comes here and causes a scene. But you can't, you can't tell him. You let him down those many months ago, he owes you nothing. You cheated on Brian to begin with, so this is what you get. This is what you deserve. This is what you asked for.
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Watch my lips They whisper the words you taught me to I am your mirror I have been since time began When you need power I am your satisfaction
He turns me around and before i can even blink to see him in front of me, I feel a sharp pain against my face. And I realize it's Ethan that hit me. Hard and he meant it. No 'sorry baby' afterwards instead it goes worse. He smacks me on the same spot again. That's when I fall to the floor. Not because of the power, but because the shock of the pain. I open my mouth to scream and nothing comes out of it. But after the nothing…the silence, comes the word "Stop!" I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I really wanted to, but instead a couple of heavy tears fell. No sobbing, no screaming, no attack.
"If I ever see your back again when you walk away, you will be sorry. So sorry for even thinking you are too good for me." He screams at me while I am still on the floor. He paces the room for a couple of seconds then he sits on the bed. He touches the sheets and a couple of roses next to the bed. All this time I still don't move. I just lay there watching him. He stands up and he looks at me. He comes towards me, picks me up and throws me on the bed. He is pulling my pants off and then the little switch in my head is back on. And I kick... I start to kick everywhere around me. When he throws his body on me I can't kick anymore and I can't move anymore. This bed, not much more than some pallets and a mattress, is starting to go down. It's spinning and it won't stop. He pulls out an orange rope from under the pallets and grab my hands to tie them up. I feel some splinters from the wood going inside my skin. Now I am here with him, here on the bed, nowhere in life. Pantsless, tied up. He stands up.
"You love me Justin, don't you?" He says while he is shedding his clothes. I don't answer him, cause I don't…anymore.
"You love it when I make love you, you love it when I fuck you." He comes in the bed again now pressing himself on me.
"I'm going to make sweet, hot and wild fucking love to you." He screams to me. He opens my legs.
" No, no ,no, no." I chant. " Ethan, no please, no!" I can't prevent this. It's going to happen. I'm going to feel it and it is going to hurt.
He enters me. No lube and no condom. No nothing. No love and that's what hurts the most. I pull my body up, it aches and I scream silently, moaning but the moans are not pleasant. I shut my eyes and think of a man. That's all I can do for now and hoping this will be over soon.