All right here we go. If you have read my other fic Vacation, this is much better than that. If there are any spelling mistakes, they are probably deliberate. I have included some characters from my fic Inferno City; Cobalt, Iron and Amber.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is mentioned in this story except the commercial and the star wars play.
Some Guy: Hello everybody, we are doing a show that apparently will be really good for ratings, but only if the contestants are cool enough to succeed. They will have to fight each other to win the prize of one dollar. Now welcome your hosts, Gold and Crystal.
Gold: Thank you random guy, yes this is the first episode of Total Annihilation of the Peoplez Crystal: Or you could just say TAP
Gold: Yeah whatever, anyway let's get on with the team selections. I will let you know that Blue has been nowhere near these names so they cannot be rigged. Crystal if you would pull out a name.
Crystal: The first team is Red,
Gold: And Yellow, What a surprise.
Crystal: The second team is Green,
Gold: And Sapphire.
Crystal: The third is Ruby,
Gold: And Platina.
Crystal: The fourth team is Dia
Gold: And Blue. Sorry Silver, Emerald and Pearl but you guys are not good enough to be in this team sport. You are all out of the running to win the grand prize of one dollar.
Crystal: Moving on The first challenge will be Team 1 vs. Team 2 in a race to see who can race a go kart the fastest. The first team with both of their players across the finish line will go to the final.
Gold: The players are in their positions. Let's go down to Cobalt who is running the go kart races.
Cobalt: All right the track is full of bends and turns. Don't forget to pick up boosts which increase your speed for 5 seconds and ice bombs which you shoot at other players to freeze for 3 seconds. 3, 2, 1 go you crazy sons of b-
Daniel (Writer): Keep it clean Cobalt.
Cobalt: All right, there off and look at Red go he is already out in front and heading straight for the boost. However, Green gets an ice block and shoots it at him. Red avoids but- falls in the hole?
Gold: MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA, great idea Daniel/Writer.
Daniel (Writer): Great placement there.
Cobalt: Now Red has to take the long route round. With Green in the lead with Sapphire close behind him and Yellow with an ice block, Team 2 is in command on the first of three laps. Wait what is that?
Crystal: I think that's a streaker.
Streaker: Woo hoo I'm on TV
Gold: Well he's a little under sized.
Crystal: Don't be disgusting Gold.
Streaker: You people don't even have security.
Daniel (Writer): No but we do have a writer who can summon anything he wants into his story.
Gold: Just like our lord, Jesus.
Daniel (Writer): Drop a giant donut onto this guy's head.
Streaker: Oh Bugger.
Dia: DONUT!
Cobalt: Writer, don't let Dia interfere in the race
Daniel (Writer): OK, Donut, turn all mouldy and disgusting.
Dia: I don't care.
Daniel (Writer): Fine, Red, Get super speed and push him of the track.
Dia: OUCH!
Red: Sorry, The Writer forced me to.
Gold: Cobalt what's going on?
Cobalt: Well Red has just completed his second lap after being boosted with Sapphire and Green sandwiching Yellow to force her to slow down not far behind him.
Crystal: Shifty Manoeuvers there.
Cobalt: Right, that is wrong because Yellow has an ice bomb and freezes Sapphire. Now Yellow is third.
Gold: Hey, Crystal
Crystal: SSSSSSSH. The race is getting exciting now.
Red: Wee, Vroom, Yeah. CRASH.
Cobalt: Lolz, you epically failed.
Random audience member: Your parcel of fail has arrived
Gold: Nice one
RAM: Right
Crystal: Get the hell out of here.
Cobalt: OMG, Red just won and became the first champion.
Gold: And now Yellow is coming in, We win Team 1
Green: OH NOES
Sapphire: Pesky people
*Commercial Break Starts*
Ad break narrator: Are you tired of travelling on a bus to get to your work
Person on ad: No, I don't like Ferrari's anyway.
Ad Break Narrator: You're not supposed to say that, you're fired.
Person on ad: Thank The Writer
*Commercial break ends*
Daniel (Writer): Your welcome random person.
Cobalt: And now where getting ready for-
Daniel (Writer): I'm bored of Go karts, team 1 gets a point, let's go to project Leinad.
Gold: That's just your name backwards
Daniel (Writer): So, I'm the writer.
Crystal: Okay, game 2 consists of who can score the most baskets from the foul line in 60 seconds
Cobalt: Yes and this time team 1 will play team 3 first.
Gold: Awesome.
Cobalt: Ready, SET,-
RAM: I'm going to go have sex
Gold: What the hell just happened?
Crystal: The random Audience member said he was going to go have sex and stormed out of here, taking a piss on the basketballs first
Gold: Hey Crys, You want to go have sex?
Crystal: Sure, Why not?
Daniel (Writer): Because you're in the middle of a story.
Gold: Hey, Super Serious Writer; Super Serious Gal and I can do whatever we can.
Daniel (Writer): No you can't. Get into those separate cages now.
Crystal: can we have a private cage
Daniel (Writer): Fine whatever, you were shit commentators anyway. Our new hosts are going to do better.
Amber: Yes, We Are
Iron: No were not
Daniel (Writer): *Gives Iron incredibly painful glare*
Iron: No, Voldemort let me out of Crucio.
Daniel (Writer): WTF!
Cobalt: I'm glad because I'm getting paid for watching everyone get destroyed by The Writer.
Amber: No, do your job or you will be tortured.
Cobalt: Okay, Teams pick up your balls.
Red: But my balls are covered in piss.
Cobalt: LOLZ
Red: No seriously the RAM pissed on them remember.
Cobalt: Ooh, he had sex with you.
Daniel (Writer): Enough of this shit, I want you to pick up the wet balls and fondle while aiming for the hole
Audience: Writer is such a fail
Daniel (Writer): Now you all DIE!
Audience: NO! The blue screen of death. It wants my Megahurtz.
RAM: I'm back, No my Megahurtz are the epically stolen
Daniel (Writer): I has Megahurtz
Cobalt: On with the game, Red gives his first ball to Yellow as he wants her to take the first shot. But obviously she doesn't like his balls. Ruby however loves playing with his balls before he throws them as hard as he can. His balls hit the back board and comes back to him.
Red: You take the first toss
Yellow: I don't want to toss your balls
Red: I will shove these balls down your throat if you don't toss them
Ruby: I lovz my balls. I'm gonna lick them completely clean
Daniel (Writer): Okay that is enough of this ridiculous nonsense
Cobalt: It's funny though
Daniel (Writer): It is absurd. Red I never would have thought you would say something. Yellow I never would have guessed you didn't want to throw Reds balls around.
Yellow: They were covered in Piss.
Cobalt: Blame RAM
RAM: But I didn't do anything.
Red: You pissed all over my balls
RAM: I thought that was Gold.
Gold: Hey just because I had sex and you didn't
Daniel (Writer): Gold, Get back in your cage. You deserve to be spanked.
Crystal: Can I do it, can I do it.
Cobalt: Let RAM do it.
Audience: Yeah let the Writer do it.
Daniel (Writer): WHAT DID YOU JUST SAAaaAAaaYY.
Audience: Nothing, Nothing at all.
Cobalt: Yes well the minute is up and the scores are a staggering 0-0
RAM: Hey Cobalt, do you wanna maybe later go and have a bagel
Cobalt: No I are hazing cheezburger withs Dia layta
Daniel (Writer): Alright since this show has been one big failure after another, I propose another course of action. A fight
Iron: Oh epic turn of events
Amber: And this will be a,
Daniel (Writer): A star wars fight. All right here is the cast:
-Cobalt: Yoda
-Iron: R2-D2
-Amber: Padme
-Gold: The Sith Lord
-Crystal: Lea
-RAM: Darth Vader
-Red: Luke
-Audience: Battle droids/ Clones
-Me/Daniel/Writer: The Force
Cobalt: Sick as idea bro
Iron: WHY AM I A ROBOT?
Red: Hey Gold, I'm the new guy who makes with Crystal
Gold: But I'll destroy you with the SHIT LIGHTNING!
Crystal: It's Sith Lightning
Gold: Whatever
Daniel (Writer): All right we're starting now. *In super deep voice* in a galaxy two feet away 4 minutes into the future, there was a bloody battle between all of the characters from Star wars. This is not in star wars but it should be because it will be much better.
Cobalt: A battle there is on town of other planet side.
Red: Come R2-D2 we must destroy all who oppose us.
Iron: BEEP BOOP BOP
Gold: Ah, I know what you're getting for your birthday Darth Vader
RAM: No it's not possible.
Gold: Yes, I have felt your presence.
RAM: What am I getting for my birthday?
Gold: A quick and unpainful death
RAM: !
Gold: Yes
Red: Hold it right there evil people.
Iron: BEEP BOOP BOP
Amber: I agree with the droid, these guys look like hookers
Gold and RAM: WHAT. Forces get them while we engage in awesome as close combat scenes that you can barely see due to lightsabers
Audience: Bsh, Bsh, Bsh, Bsh
RAM: Ah Luke, you have a twin sister.
Red: No I don't
RAM: Yes, her name is Lea. The fail is strong in this one.
Crystal: How dare you forget me*Slap*
Red: Ow, that hurt woman
Gold: You got Pwnd
Red: Ah I go rage on your ass and release a flurry of very powerful lunges
RAM: Ah my hand
Red: That what you get you mean guy.
Gold: SHIT LIGHTNING
Red: Ouch
Cobalt: Come to save you, I have.
Gold: Oh no it's Yoda. I have a waited a long time for this.
Cobalt: Die I will kill and you will
Gold: o.O
Cobalt: Hm.
Gold: I use the force on these seats here
Daniel (Writer): Seats fly at Cobalt
Cobalt: Hurt OMG it does
Gold: Tee hee hee
Cobalt: Luke run, failed I have
Crystal: I have come to save you
Darth Vader: I am your mother Luke and Lea
Amber: And I am your father
Red and Crystal: WTF!
Iron: BEEP BOOP BOP
Daniel (Writer): Of course, the force obeys robots. BANG.
Red: RAM and Gold exploded.
Crystal: No I loved him
Gold: *FROM SPIRIT WORLD* I know
Crystal: I meant RAM
Gold: *FROM SPIRIT WORLD F*$% NO
RAM: *FROM SPIRIT WORLD* LOLZ YES
Daniel (Writer): Does it usually rain acid from in here
Red: It's probably just piss
Daniel (Writer): No I created it I know what it is
Audience: Ouch I am burning
Law suit guy 1: Hold it there
Law suit guy 2: Daniel/Writer, you are under arrest for murder of 50,000
Daniel (Writer): We had 50,000 people in the audience
Red: We're rich
Cobalt: Woo hoo
Iron: BEEP BOOP BOP
Amber: The plays over you can be normal now
Law suit guy 1: Too bad you have to pay out the time in jail for murder
Daniel (Writer): It's impossible to get me into jail.
Team 4: Do we get to play now
Daniel (Writer): Sure, here is four guns. Out of team 1 and team 4, whoever hits the law suit guys the most wins.
Audience: Hooray
Red: hey the audience is back to life.
Daniel (Writer): Yay, now they can review the story *HINT HINT*
LOLZ this was a funny story, I love writing stuff like this. It fills me with joy. In 3 fics that are finished, Gold has died twice. No hints about Inferno City, wouldn't want to give away free bonus points. Anyways as the writer said review or the last challenge might be coming to your balls. XD.