A/N: So, I just watched the music video for "Hot n Cold" by Katy Perry.

This was me: O_O I was completely astounded by the randomness.

I've heard the song before, but I never saw the music video. (And yes, I know that the song's from, like, four years ago).

So I was thinking about the music video and thought, "Wouldn't it be funny if Max was Katy Perry and Fang was that Alexander guy?" And so this was born.

And a helpful hint… If you don't understand parts of what happened in here, watch the music video. I took some parts of this from there.

This takes place during Angel when Max and the Flock go to meet Fang's Gang in the restaurant.

DISCLAIMER: I own not Maximum Ride, and "Hot n Cold" (those rights go to Katy Perry or whatever recording company or whoever). I also don't own any songs later used in this fic. PLEASE DON'T SUE ME!

Max POV:

"I'm sorry, Max. It's not going to work out."

I blinked. Nope, wasn't hallucinating. "What did you say?" I asked Fang. For his sake, I hope that I heard him wrong.

He said it again. "I'm sorry Max. I made you fly all the way out here so that our two groups could meet each other. But after this food fight," he gestured to the damage done to the restaurant, "and everything else, I don't think it'll work out. It's best if you just go home." Fang looked almost sorry, but not for me, or anyone else. Regretful only for himself.

I felt a surge of anger wash over me. I took a step towards him, and he, recognizing the expression on my face, took a step backwards.

I opened my mouth…

Fang POV:

And she started singing.

"You change your mind," she sang, "like Nudge changes clothes." Max took a step closer to me, wearing the bloodthirsty expression she only wore when facing Erasers.

"Yeah, you," she continued, "PMS like a bitch, I would know." By this point, the rest of the Flock, including Dylan who was only too happy to join in the Fang-Bashing, had assembled behind Max. My gang was hovering behind them, uncertain of what was going on.

I was backed up against the wall of the restaurant. All of the staff and guests were bopping up and down. A guitar and drum set were playing in the background, even thought there were no instruments in sight. I even thought I saw a minister somewhere in the crowd, but at that point, I was too freaked out to care.

"And you," Max and the group behind her made up of mutants, kitchen staff, and guests, advanced. "Overthink. Always speak cryptically." She jabbed a finger into my chest with each word. "I should know that you're no good for me."

That's when the torture truly began; she launched into the chorus.

" 'Cause you're hot then you're cold, you're yes then you're no," Everyone in the restaurant started dancing. I took one look around and decided that it was time to get the hell out of there.

"You're in then you're out, you're up and you're down." I ran towards the door. As soon as I was outside, I snapped out my wings and launched into the sky. I didn't care if anyone saw me, as long as I got out of that restaurant.

Max followed me, singing the entire time. "You're wrong when it's right, it's black and it's white. We fight, we break up, we kiss, we make up." Suddenly, Max was in front of me, with Angel and Nudge hovering behind her. How the hell did they get there?

"You," Nudge and Angel sang.

"You don't really want to stay, no," Max sang.

" But You," Nudge and Angel echoed again.

"But you don't really want to go, ohhh," Max sang again. I flew back a few feet, scared of the combined power of the shrill Katy Perry and an angry Max. Who knew what havoc they could wreak together? Oh wait, I did. Unfortunately.

" 'Cause you're hot then you're cold, you're yes then you're no," Max began dancing in midair, with Nudge and Angel copying her moves. They were surprisingly good, considering how Max (to the best of my knowledge) really couldn't dance and that they were dancing 55,000 feet up.

"You're in then you're out, you're up and you're down." I tucked my wings in partially and hurtled towards the ground, desperate to get somewhere where things made sense.

I hit the ground running, and dashed into a small, abandoned house on the edge of town. Max wasn't singing anymore, and hopefully wasn't following me. I shut the door behind me, relieved by the absence of people, only to find everyone in my group (Star, Kate, Holden, and Rachet) dragging me towards a crowd of people. So much for abandoned.

These people were all gathered around a stage. If I wasn't already in a state of perpetual shock, I would have keeled over in astonishment. Max was on a stage, holding a microphone, and the Flock was behind her, playing various instruments; Iggy was on the electric guitar, Dylan was on bass guitar, Gazzy was on the drum set, and Nudge and Angel were singing backup to Max.

Max had changed in the 50 seconds it had taken me to get here; now she was wearing a red vest and very short, tight skirt that Max would normally never be caught wearing. And then she began singing again, with her long brown hair flying around her.

"We," she sang to the microphone, "used to be just like twins, so in sync. The same energy, now's a dead battery." The crowd pulsed around me, squeezing in on the claustrophobic bird-kid (me).

"Used to laugh about nothing," She shot a venomous look in my direction. "Now you're plain annoying."

"I should know, that you're not going to chaaange." I turned around and shoved everyone out of my way. The claustrophobia, combined with Max's torture, was killing me; I needed to get out of there. Just as I escaped and slumped against the door, I saw Max, right in front of me.

She was back in her normal t-shirt and jeans and had a group of girls surrounding her, all of them armed with baseball bats, which did not look good for me. I saw Nudge and Angel in the crowd along with Lissa and…. Was that Brigid Dwyer?

"Cause you're hot then you're cold, you're yes then you're no," Max launched back into the chorus. The girls around her broke into a dance sequence, showing off their proficiency with those bats.

"You're in and you're out, you're up and you're down. You're wrong when it's right, it's black and it's white. We fight, we break up, we kiss, we make up." Nudge, Angel, and the other girls began circling me, still dancing.

"You," they sang.

"You don't really want to stay, no," Max sang, pointing at me.

"But you," the girls echoed again.

"You don't really want to go, ohh," Max entered the circle at this point and shoved me.

"'Cause you're hot then you're cold, you're yes then you're no," Max sang, Nudge, Angel, Lissa, and the other girls circling us the entire time.

"You're in then you're out, you're up and you're down," the circle opened up a bit, giving me just enough room to escape. Max shoved me through the opening and I ran.

A guitar solo began, even though I still couldn't figure out where the music was coming from. Max and the girls were following me on pink bikes, and I was in front of them, running like Nudge from one of Gazzy's farts.

I snapped out my wings and took off, hoping that I would be able to lose Max and possibly Nudge and Angel in the time it would take them to dismount and follow me. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Who would be calling me now?

To my everlasting dread and surprise, my phone said, "New video from Max." I landed a nearby roof and opened the file that Max sent me.

The video showed Max alone. And surprise, surprise, Max was singing.

"Someone," Max shot a deadly look at the camera, "call the doctor, got a case of a love bipolar."

"Stuck on a rollercoaster," she started crying at this point. "Can't get of this riiiide." The video ended and when I looked up, I saw Max on the roof opposite to me, surrounded by everyone we knew. How the heck did Jeb and Gozen get on the roof?

Max had changed again, and was wearing a pair of intensely short-shorts, a tank top, and an exercise jacket over it.

"You," she began, singing in complete silence, "change your mind, like Nudge changes clothes."

For a few seconds everything was silent, then everything exploded into sound.

" 'Cause you're hot then you're cold, you're yes, then you're no," she sang. Everyone began dancing on the roof of the opposite building, which, thankfully for them, was flat.

"You're in then you're out, you're up and you're down," she sang.

"You're wrong when it's right, woah," Max sang and then pointed behind me. I whirled around to find Max, again, but back in her normal clothes and surrounded by girls on the road below us.

"It's black and it's white," Max sang, the girls continuing with their dance routine (without baseball bats this time), "We fight we break up, we kiss we make up."

"Ohhhh," the Max on the roof sang, still dancing.

" 'Cause you're hot then you're cold, you're yes then you're no," Max sang from the road.

"Woahh," Max harmonized from the roof.

"You're in then you're out, you're up then you're down," Max danced along with the girls on the road.

"You're wrong when it's right," Jeb stepped forward on the roof and pointed towards my right. There, on the roof next to me, was Max again, back on the stage with the Flock as her band.

"It's black and it's white," the Max on the stage sang. "We fight we break up, we kiss we make up."

"You," the Max on the roof sang, pushing Ari (the dead just don't stay dead anymore) to the ground.

"You don't really want to stay, no," Max pointed at me from the street.

"But you," Ari sprang back up on the roof and resumed dancing.

"But you don't really want to go, oh," Max sang from the road. " 'Cause you're hot then you're cold, you're yes then you're no." I began backing up, realizing that I should have taken flight a while ago but not realizing that I was on a (non-flat) roof. I tumbled off and landed on the road right in front of Max.

"You're in then you're out, you're up and you're down," Max sang and the song finally ended. She walked towards me, slowly, with an evil look in her eyes. A few feet in front of me, she stopped and stared off into the distance. I blinked….

….and found myself back at the restaurant.

"What did you say?" Max asked me, the beginnings of the furious expression on her face. I looked around and saw the remains of the food fight plastered on the walls.

"I said… never mind, it's not important," I said, hastily backtracking. Max looked at me warily, then resumed conversing with Dylan.

I looked directly at Angel. Did you do this? I asked mentally. Her expression remained perfectly normal.

Nope, she says cheerfully in my mind, That was all your subconscious. I groan and slump in the chair.

Never again, will I allow Star to pick the radio station.

A/N: It's over! *Throws random paraphernalia in the air in celebration*

This took three days to write! Adding a little, taking a little away, get distracted by shiny object, repeat process...

But there will be more! Stay tuned for Maximum Musicalness!

Write suggestions for songs for me to do in reviews! Ones with music videos are nice, but not necessary!

Gah, I don't know where I'm going with this.

I'm going to bed.

But before you do, R&R?

-Queen of Narnia49