A/N: This is my second shot at fan fiction, and it's from a different perspective than my other one. In this story, it uses a Female Revan, and it takes place long after the events of Star Forge. I am sorry if I update less, but now I get to juggle two fictions. Here it is.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Star Wars.
Always Hoping
Solitary
The tall Dantooine grasses swayed to and fro in the gentle breezes, as the sun warmed her skin. She could feel the cool, moist earth against her back. The wind brought the faint scent of lilies from far, far away, and the grass rustled, almost musically as it danced in the wind. The sun framed the far off trees as it shone brightly through its boughs and branches. In her mind she could still hear him…his voice…and in her mind, she could still see his face.
How long had it been now? One year? Two years? She had stopped counting, all the days just flooded into each other, and blurred together in a haze to where it was hard to tell them apart anymore. Not that it mattered, really, knowing time did nothing for her; it changed nothing. She was drowning herself. Drowning herself in work, drowning herself in training, in study…and after two years, it had finally begun to take a toll on her. She had gotten faster, smarter, wiser even, but it didn't take the dark circles under her eyes to tell you she hadn't been sleeping. She hadn't really slept in two years. There was a hole, a hole in her very soul-that no amount of training or study could ever fill, no matter how hard she tried.
The sun was setting as she laid her back down on the grass, only to find a dark, elderly man staring down at her.
"What are you doing out here?" he asked, "I didn't see you in the kitchen's all day. I brought some food with me." He handed her some bread, which she denied herself.
"No, it's ok, Jolee, I don't want it…
"What? Don't tell me you're on one of those damn diets all you young things have been so obsessed with lately."
"No, I'm not that vain, I'm just…not hungry."
"You said that the last time. Do you ever eat anymore?"
"Not so much…" she replied, "I just never feel very hungry…" she stated.
They sat there on the plains in silence, the only sound coming from the wind as it whistled through the grasses. The sun vanished from the sky, and disappeared beneath the horizon. After a long and awkward silence, Jolee broke the tension.
"This is about him, isn't it?"
"About who?" she replied sharply.
"You know who I'm talking about, Revan."
She turned away from him, and made not a sound for several moments, as her throat seemed to have a knot in it.
"Why would anything be about him?" she choked out.
"Because you love him."
"I do not love him, Jolee," she replied coldly, "I am a Jedi, love is a weakness, a window for the dark side to slip in."
"You just can't keep doing this to yourself, Revan"
"I can do whatever the hell I want!" she screamed at him, her voice echoing over the plains. She turned sharply, facing him head on.
"I can…and I will…" Revan growled, her eyes burning. Jolee sighed.
"The council wants you, Revan," Jolee informed, "They need you to help teach at the academy…"
"What?"
"You've nearly read them all, Revan, all the books in the library, you may even know as much as I do," Jolee said sarcastically, "your skills with a light saber surpass the greatest masters. I imagine they would want you to teach for these reasons."
"Jolee, you know I don't use a light saber anymore."
"Then show the little brats with a vibroblade, damn it, I don't care, Vandar will manage to talk you into it anyways."
Revan laughed. Though Master Vrook was a royal pain in the ass, Vandar could get her to do just about anything. She didn't really know why, she just had so much respect for that wrinkly little dwarf.
"Whatever."
Jolee just sighed and walked away, back towards the enclave. The stars had come out, and the dew had fallen. She just sighed and let the darkness of the night wash over her.