Josh sat at home, staring at a photo of Grace he had taken two years ago, the day before she had been involved in that fatal bomb blast. He felt empty, numb and lost. His one true love was gone. He remembered the times they had shared. He suddenly remembered that Grace had left a CD in his CD player. He picked up the remote and turned the machine on. He then hit 'play' and the CD started. He listened to it for awhile, connecting certain songs to different memories, until one song came on that made him sit up and take notice. It was "Beautiful in My Eyes" by Joshua Kadison. The lyrics described Grace perfectly.
You're
my peace of mind
In
this crazy world
You're
everything I tried to find
Your
love is a pearl
You're
my Mona Lisa
You're
my rainbow skies
And
my only prayer is that you realize
You'll always be beautiful in my eyes
Josh tried to push Grace out of his mind, to try and grasp some sense of normalcy and get on with his life, but he knew deep down that he had lost the love of his life and that nothing would bring her back. He could wish, hope, dream and yearn but nothing would ever really bring her back. He did however have his memories and for the moment, that satisfied him. The song played on.
The
world will turn
And
the seasons will change
And
all the lessons we will learn
Will
be beautiful and strange
We'll
have our fill of tears
Our
share of sighs
My
only prayer is that you realize
You'll
always be beautiful in my eyes
He got up, paced the room restlessly and growled under his breath. Mentally, he was kicking himself mercilessly for not doing anything about his feelings for Grace other than telling her he loved her. In his mind, that was far from enough. Of course, since Grace's death, he had been unable to think about dating another woman until he was paired up with their new liaison officer Zara Mellerton who saw sadness as a major weakness and made him sharpen up and focus. Zara was vastly different from Grace in that Zara was a hard-and-fast, no nonsense, VERY dangerous woman, whereas Grace was softer but still had a hard edge. He really thought that he could not love another woman, but with Zara, he found his lost respect for women and instead of seeing women as just the opposite sex, he once again saw them for what they were, individuals who had feelings. Still, his thoughts strayed constantly back to Grace and Zara found his long periods of silence at first irritating, but after awhile she began to show sympathy towards him. She sat him down and made him talk about everything that was bothering him and making him unfocused. He told her about the CD and the song. When he mentioned the name of the song, Zara's eyes suddenly welled up and she quickly turned away. He saw her reaction and asked her what was wrong. That was when she told him about her husband who had been shot to death while they were walking down the street and had died in her arms and the song that Josh had said was the same song that she and Sam her husband had danced their bridal waltz to. Josh immediately pulled her into a hug. Zara had maintained her composure and had told him that she was fine.
You
will always be beautiful in my eyes
And
the passing years will show
That
you will always grow
Ever
more beautiful in my eyes
He and Zara had talked about everything and she had ended up staying at his place because hers was being fumigated at one point. When it was ok for her to return to her own place, Josh and Zara had become so close, he ended up leasing his place out and moving in with her. As it was, he could not bear to live in the same place that Grace had been in because it reminded him of her too much. As he packed the last box, he found that photo and put it in the box and sealed it up. He picked the box up and carried it out to Zara's 4WD and loaded it into the back. He then turned and went back into the apartment to check that there was nothing left, and then headed out the door, locking it behind him and putting his keys into his pocket. He got into Zara's car and they drove to her house or should he say their house. As Zara drove down the street Josh could not help but to look back at the place where he and Grace had spent time together, made love and cemented their relationship.
When
there are lines upon my face
From
a lifetime of smiles
When
the time comes to embrace
For
one long last while
We
can laugh about
How time really flies
Later on that night, after dinner, Zara turned to Josh and said "tell me again about Grace, she sounded like a wonderful person." Josh was only too happy to tell her and spent the rest of the night telling Zara of some of the cases the team had had which had involved Grace and also about Connor, Grace's husband. "She was going to leave him for me right before she died." Josh had said, struggling to maintain his composure but failing. Zara had just held him while he cried, letting him get it out of his system. She knew he still had feelings for Grace and she respected that, but at the same time, she felt it was time for him to move on. She told him so and reluctantly he agreed. Two years was enough time to mourn someone. Zara herself had spent exactly two weeks mourning her husband, it being the Jewish custom to do so. She had sat in Shiva for the required time, and then resumed her Mossad training as per normal.
We
won't say goodbye
'Cause
true love never dies
You'll
always be beautiful in my eyes
Josh was rummaging around in a box one day looking for something and he came across the photo of Grace. He sat back on his heels and looked at it for a short time, then got up and took the photo in to show Zara who was sitting on the couch reading a book. He sat down next to her and she immediately lowered the book. He handed her the photo. "This was Grace. She was the love of my life and I know I will never forget her" he had said, his voice wavering slightly but still holding its strength. Zara had quietly taken the photo and looked at the smiling blonde woman dressed in full uniform. What Josh said next floored Zara, the tough Mossad officer of who "nothing would scare her" as Michael had said one time. "Grace was the past, but you are my future. I realize now just how much you mean to me Zara. You were there when I needed you, you understood what I was going through and you let me figure everything out for myself. You told me what I needed to hear and even gave me a few good kicks up the arse when I was being moody. I realize now that we belong together. We get on so well and understand each other. We work together so well and…and…now I'm rambling. I love you Zara. Ever since you told me about your late husband, I felt closer to you, that we have a connection that runs deeper than just similar relationships. I want you in my life and I honestly believe we are meant to be together." He had said, his words tumbling over each other in an effort not to get too excited and anxious. Zara just stared at him as though he had two heads. She had not expected anything like what Josh had just said. She sat there in utter shock, staring at him. "I...I...do not know what to say…um… ok Zara, you are a Mossad officer. Pull yourself together and answer the man properly" she said giving herself a mental head slap. "I love you too Josh although it has taken me awhile to see it. I want to be in your life because I know that I cannot live without you." She said, her emotions getting the better of her. Josh pulled her towards him and crushing his lips against hers in a kiss that was fuelled not only with passion but also longing, sadness and understanding.
You
will always be beautiful in my eyes
And
the passing years will show
That
you will always grow
Ever
more beautiful in my eyes
The
passing years will show
That
you will always grow
Ever more beautiful in my eyes
The photo fell to the ground and slid under the couch as life moved on. Josh would never forget Grace, but Zara was now his life. He and Zara regularly visited Grace's grave and Josh even sent that photo of Grace to Connor with a note saying "sorry". Connor had written back "thankyou".
Ever more beautiful in my eyes