WHITE ROSES
Brendan Joshua, more commonly known as "Josh" to his friends and colleagues, was normally a focused man. But today he was nervous, jumpy and irritable. He had only one thing on his mind. Grace.
He cleared his throat nervously and fiddled with his tie, his hands shaking slightly as he tried to calm the butterflies zooming around in his stomach. He hated nerves, it was his only flaw. He looked around the church, festooned with white taffeta (yuck) and heaps of white roses and something Grace called 'Baby's Breath' which to him did not look one bit like what baby's breath would even supposedly look like. He sighed quietly and stared at the doors at the end of the aisle which were at this point closed.
Suddenly music began to play. It was "Beautiful in My Eyes" by Joshua Kadison.
The doors opened to reveal Stella, Shannon, Zara and Kerry all wearing black cocktail dresses. Josh's eyes strayed to Zara. The beautiful Israeli looked stunning in whatever she wore, but today she looked amazing. He quickly looked away as she walked past him, his eyes now re-focused on the door where an ethereal figure in white stood. Josh stood next to Connor who looked handsome in a white Armani tuxedo. Josh, Michael, Lawson and Leon were groomsmen. Grace and Connor were renewing their vows. Josh secretly wished that it was him instead of Connor that was married to Grace, but then once again, for some odd reason, his gaze kept flicking back to Zara. Josh had no idea why, something about her fascinated him. He knew that he could never have Grace, that she was always going to be Connor's, but Zara…well to him she was a challenge. Josh did not back down from a challenge. He had the feeling he was being watched. He looked directly at Zara and she crinkled her nose slightly to signal that she was the one watching him. But their gazes never left each other until Zara snapped her eyes towards Grace who had nearly completed her walk down the aisle. When she reached Connor, she let go of the Commissioner's arm and took Connors. The minister began the sermon, and then Grace and Connor renewed their vows.
GRACE: I, Grace Barry, take you, Connor to be my husband, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.
Entreat me not
to leave you, or to return from following after you, for where you go
I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my
people, and your God will be my God. And where you die, I will die
and there I will be buried. May the Lord do with me and more if
anything but death parts you from me.
CONNOR: I Connor Barry, take you Grace to be my wife, my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward and for in the presence of God and these our friends I promise with Divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful husband so long as we both shall live.
Entreat me not
to leave you, or to return from following after you, for where you go
I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my
people, and your God will be my God. And where you die, I will die
and there I will be buried. May the Lord do with me and more if
anything but death parts you from me.
Connor and Grace were then pronounced once again Husband and Wife, kissed each other and the service was over.
As the TR team minus Grace headed for the reception at the Royce Hotel, Josh fell into step with Zara who was walking to her car. They had all agreed to take separate cars. Since Josh had gotten a lift with Zara, she had earlier agreed to have him accompany her to the reception. They got to her black Maserati and got in. Zara turned the ignition on then looked straight at Josh. "Do you like what you see Josh?" the Israeli fired at him, her face revealing nothing about her feelings. Josh on the other hand looked surprised. "Yeah I do actually." He replied with a slight smirk on his face. Zara raised an eyebrow and cocked her head sideways slightly, a bemused expression crossing her face. She looked away, focusing on the traffic, flicked the indicator and pulled out of the parking space and onto the main road. They drove in silence, occasionally making small talk about the wedding and Grace's dress, Connor's tux and even strangely how beautiful the flower arrangement was. Once they got to the reception venue and Zara had found a space, they headed to the old style sandstone building. While they were walking, Josh gently took Zara's hand, fully expecting her to flinch or pull her hand away, but surprisingly she squeezed his hand lightly. He held her hand more firmly and they entered the old building. They headed towards the ballroom where the reception was to be held, walked up the stairs and into the ballroom. Zara was momentarily awestruck but quickly gathered herself together and followed Josh inside.
After the reception, they headed back to Zara's place as Josh's apartment was being fumigated. There, they were sitting on the couch watching the film Love Actually when Josh's phone rang.
Josh listened for a few minutes then hung up, his face ashen. Zara quickly jumped up, fear showing on her face.
Zara did not need to say anything because Josh answered her question. "Grace is in the hospital, she's dying." He said quietly. Zara pulled him into a hug and he hugged her back. After a few minutes, Zara pulled back and said "We had better go and see her then!" Josh nodded silently and they left the house, got into their car and headed for the hospital.
Once there, it was quite easy to find Grace's room. When Grace saw Josh standing outside her room, she eagerly called him in.
"I have something I want to tell you Josh" Grace said quietly, tears starting to form. Josh patiently waited.
"I love you Josh" Grace said, tears now running down her cheeks. "I always have".
Josh looked at her sadly. "That's your illness talking Grace, there is nothing between us but friendship, I'm with Zara and I'm happy. I am sorry Grace."
Josh turned and left the room. He passed Connor in the hallway but did not say anything.
He quickly found Zara and asked if they could head home. She readily agreed, because she hated hospitals.
They had only been home 10 minutes (they lived an hour's drive from the hospital) when Zara's phone rang. It was Stella and she was crying.
"She's gone Za! She died in Connor's arms!" Stella said, crying harder. Zara looked at Josh who was staring out a window. Zara said a few words of comfort then hung up. She walked over to where Josh was standing and put her arms around his waist. "It will be okay" she said quietly. Josh turned around and kissed the top of her head. "Thanks Za" he murmured.
At the funeral the next week, he stood at Grace's grave, looking down at the granite tombstone with the gold letters engraved in it. He read them again.
"GRACE BARRY, 33 YEARS, DEARLY LOVED WIFE OF CONNOR AND TEAM MEMBER OF TACTICAL RESPONSE. REST IN PEACE"
He knelt down and laid a white rose on her grave, then stood and walked away, to his new life with Zara.