Random Idea… THE XIAOLIN DATING GAME!
The three of the girls stood in a line, standing and waiting. They all looked very bored and very annoyed. Each of them kept glancing at each other, but none of them wanted to talk to each other.
Wuya frowned at Kimiko every time she caught her looking at her, Kimiko glared daggers at Katnappe every time she would look at her, and Katnappe would scowl at Wuya every time Wuya would so much as glance in her general direction.
"Okay, ladies! Let's go!" a young girl with light brown hair and glasses yelled happily at them. None of the girls returned her cheerfulness; they all just glared at her impassively. The girl didn't really seem to notice, she just kept on smiling. Smiling like a dope.
The girls walked into the room, and they were suddenly surrounded by shouts and cheering. The light shining on them was blinding, and the whistles from certain members of the audience gave them all headaches. When they finally adjusted, they saw they were in front of a live audience and there were cameras taping them from every angle.
"Hey" What is this?" Kimiko shouted at the brown haired girl.
The girl smiled at them, Wuya and Katnappe were both glaring right along with Kimiko at this point.
"Oh, well this is the Dating Game Show! And this is the Xiaolin Edition!" she replied, as if it were no big deal.
Wuya grabbed the girl's shirt and shook her back and forth violently as she shouted, "YOU'RE PUTTING US ON A DATING SHOW?"
After Wuya stopped shaking her, the girl replied, "Well you all agreed to it… That's what you signed up for, after all…" The girl adjusted her glasses and held up the contract the three of them had signed.
Kimiko snarled loudly and pounced on the girl. Katnappe pulled her off, but they weren't able to keep Kimiko from breaking the girl's glasses.
The girl sat up, smiled like an idiot again, and said, "Now let's get you all set to begin the questioning!"
Suddenly chairs popped up out of the ground behind them. A wall popped up around those chairs, but the front was left open so that the audience could see them. The wall kept the contestants from seeing the other players. Their 'bachelors' would be on the other side answering the questions.
The girls looked around and noticed the dozens of security members. It'd be easy to defeat them, but on live TV, that might've made them look bad. They all trudged up to the chairs and took their seats beside each other.
"Alright, Kimiko, you'll be bachelorette 1. Wuya, you'll be bachelorette 2. And Katnappe will be bachelorette 3." The brown haired girl said with a dopey grin.
"Why does she get to be bachelorette 1?" Wuya spat angrily.
Kimiko groaned, "Whatever, I'll be bachelorette 2. Happy?"
Wuya seemed pleased and the girl said to the audience, "Let's get this show on the road!" The crowd cheered, then it faded to silence, then suddenly there was a combination of 'ooh's and 'waoh's and several people were whistling.
The bachelors were on the other side of the wall. And there were more of them.
"Okay, there's um…Five! Five bachelors, so the girls will be asking questions and the guys will be answering!" the girl said, picking up another pair of glasses and putting them on the bridge of her nose.
Kimiko, Wuya, and Katnappe each groaned, but they didn't have much choice.
"Now, since the three of you know all the bachelors, their voices have been disguised will technology!" the girl pointed out happily.
The three girls nodded irritatedly, but still had no choice but to participate.
The brown haired girl cleared her throat and said, "Okay, bachelorette one, ask the bachelors any question at all!"
Wuya blinked. She pondered for a moment before asking, her voice had been altered as well, and it shocked her at first, "Well—Well… If you and I were to have children… Which gender would you want to have first…? A boy or a girl…?"
Kimiko spat, "You could've told us our voices were altered too…!" The girl only smiled like a fool.
Bachelor's responses will be listed by their number.
1- His voice sounded deep, but it had a funny accent to it, "Well a boy, of course! A son would be most enjoyable!" Well they could all tell that was Omi…
2- His voice sounded higher pitched, but it had a little bit of a drawl to it. "Well… I guess I'd like to have a boy… But a girl would be fine too…" Either that was Hannibal, or it was Clay…
3- His voice sounded like it had been blurred, but the pitch seemed relatively normal. "I'm not sure I want kids yet… It could be neat to have a son… Or a daughter… But I don't know…"
4- His voice sounded strangely squeaky. "A son would be considered an heir and therefore, most people would want an heir… But I suppose a daughter wouldn't be a bad experience… Most men obsess over having a little 'them' running around… They don't usually stop to think that maybe the woman would want a little 'them' as well…" Jeeze, he sounded smart, but his voice made it seem like it was Jack.
5- His voice had been lowered dramatically. It sounded like Panda Bubba! "I'd like to have a son. I've wanted to have a son ever since I turned thirteen…"
The girls all looked at each other. Most of their responses had left them wondering who each of them was. Omi gave himself away, but the rest were actually pretty difficult.
The girl grinned and said, "And bachelorette number 2?"
Kimiko folded her arms and thought for a while. "Can I think on it some more? I want to think of a good one…"
"Okie dokie! Bachelorette 3!" the brown haired girl seemed too happy to be there.
Katnappe's question was obvious, "How do you feel about pets? Dogs, cats, fish, what?"
1- "I would very much like to have a kitty kat! Kittens are most adorable!" Ah, Omi…
2- "Um… I'm more partial to dogs, myself… I like horses too… Um… Not much of a cat guy, to be honest…"
3- "Never had a pet before… I've always wanted a dog! But… I did have a parrot for about a month… It flew away though… Uh… Do I get to have more than one…? Then I'd have a cat and a dog!"
4- "Cats… I'm incredibly partial to cats… They show loyalty, but they don't cling to you like dogs do… They don't mind moving around too much, but they take some time to adapt… Dogs are too stupid to realize anything changed…" Katnappe was smiling happily at that.
5- "I think cats are adorable…! They're fur is so soft, too! Dogs are okay and all, and if I get one, I'd get a smaller dog… I think a cat would be pretty cool…! I dunno… Maybe I'd get a cat and then something like a dachshund…" Katnappe seemed to be contemplating him as well.
The brown haired girl was smiling again.
"And bachelorette 2, did you come up with a question?" she asked, her face too happy.
Kimiko sighed. "Yeah… I got one…" she began, "Alright… If I died before you did and we had children, how would you take care of everything…? My funeral, the kids, the house, telling them what happened, everything. If I died, would you keep living for the sake of our kids, but move on to another woman, or would you remain loyal and raise the kids without another woman coming into the picture…?"
Everybody seemed surprised by that question. It was incredibly deep.
1- "Why would you die before me? I don't want to be lonely! WAAAAHH!" And then bachelor 1 ran out of the room, sobbing.
2- "I'd raise the kids, but whether or not I'd find someone else is tough… If I find someone who makes me happy, I can't guarantee I'd let that opportunity go by… I'd never forget you, but it's tough to say now…"
3- "I'd probably end up with somebody else eventually… Not much I could do about it, but I'm pretty sure I would end up falling for someone else… I'm not trying to be mean, but I think that if I died without someone, I'd die unhappily… I want to die happy and with a wife, ya know…?"
4- He remained silent for a while before answering, "I would bury you in a casket full of roses, and would dedicate a long, sorrowful ceremony to you. I would devote the rest of my life to raising our children. I would not sugarcoat what happened to you, I would tell them you were never coming back… But I would be there for them no matter what… After you died… I would never be with another… I would remain dutifully loyal to your memory and I would never betray your love by bringing another into our bed…" All the girls were practically drooling. None of them could tell who he was, and even with his voice altered to the high squeaky pitch, they were all desperately in love with him now.
5- "Uh… Kinda hard to come after that… I dunno… I'd never marry another… But I wouldn't want to be lonely either… Tough…" He coughed nervously.
The brown haired girl turned to them, "Ladies?"
All three girls shouted in unison, "Bachelor FOUR!"
The audience broke into a chorus of 'ooh's and 'aaw's. But there was quite the predicament here. All three wanted the same bachelor.
"Not to worry!" the brown haired girl said, "We'll just have it so bachelor four now chooses his lucky lady! He'll ask a question and choose the girl who answered to his liking! Easy as that!"
The shuffling of the other bachelors leaving was distinctly heard by the girls.
Then he spoke.
"If I were incredibly handsome when we married, but either I had a horrible accident that disfigured me, or I became hideous with age, how would you react? Be honest… Would you leave me from fear, or would you try to remain by my side?"
All the girls wanted to sound good to him now; they all wanted to end up with him. Each of them said they'd remain by his side.
But they differed ever so slightly.
Wuya spoke first, "I'd stay by your side and we'd make love every night because I know that our children will retain your once held beauty!"
Katnappe spoke before Kimiko got a chance, "I'd stay with you! I could never leave someone who wouldn't leave me if I died!"
Kimiko finally got her chance to talk. "I'm bachelorette 2, that was bachelorette 3 just now… I'd stay with you so long as our marriage never had violence. You seem like a kind person, but beauty isn't everything in marriage… If you abused me, I'd say you got what you deserved by being disfigured and I would leave you. But if our marriage was a happy one and you treated me as an equal, I would remain by your side for eternity…"
The brown haired girl turned to the unseen man. "Well, whaddyou say? Who's it gonna be?"
There was silence for some time before the man said, "Bachelorette 2…"
Kimiko jumped up and down and squealed with joy. She threw off her voice changing microphone and continued jumping around.
The walls lowered and they were all revealed to their bachelor.
Sitting in the chair on the opposite side of where the wall had once been, pulling off his microphone, was Chase Young.
Kimiko inhaled sharply when she saw it was him; he looked equally shocked to see her.
Kimiko was beginning to want to back down; she hadn't known she was fawning over Chase just a moment ago.
Chase smiled warmly at her and he spoke gently, "I'd gotten what I deserved…? I had a feeling it was you from that cheerful sentiment…"
Kimiko blinked. "You're not mad?"
Chase stood. "On the contrary, you seemed the most heartfelt, and you were honest enough where I could actually tell it was you and not the others… I'm pleased to be spending this evening with you…"
Kimiko felt her heart pounding against her rib-cage as Chase approached her. They really were going on a date? She felt like she was going to faint!
Chase smiled down at her and whispered a question, "What would you do if… I kissed you right now…?"
The end!
It's a One-Shot that just randomly popped into my head!
I think other versions of this would be awesome!
A RaiKim version would kick ass!
A Chuya version would melt my face off!
A ClayKim version might make me die!
And any with KatnappeXRaimundo would make my brain explode!
Chack might be impossible to pull off… They're both bachelors…
But any other pairing would probably work beautifully!
DO IT!
WRITE YOUR OWN VERSION!