You are pale, ethereal I suppose, and your hair has lost its luster. Had
there not been the constant beeping in the background, I would have thought
you dead. Maybe you are, maybe I just don't want to let you go. I have no
love for hospitals, with the clean smell that permeates them and the shroud
of despair hanging over them at all times. Now this place, this place that
I hate, is the only thing keeping you with me. The doctors say it's time to
face the inevitable, they want me to give up. Well, I won't. Never. Each
day I pray you'll wake up and we'll never have to worry about anything
again. Before this I wasn't very religious. Not really. Sure I went along,
played my part in the act. I thought I had a solid hold on life. Heh, one
moment I'm standing tall and then the kami pull the rug out from under me
and I'm down…again. Please wake up, I need you.
It's time, I guess, to face it. Time to let you go. As I stand up from the chair I look at you, my love.
"I love you." I hear myself whisper not really understanding why. I never said anything to you before, so why now? 'Because you're a coward,' A voice at the back of my mind yells I wish to deny it, to argue, but I know it's true. I am a coward because I never told you how I felt. I regret that. I close my eyes and remember everything that happened…
The battle, we were winning, at least I thought we were. They came from behind us; we never saw them coming. Mars went down first, too late, dead before she hit the ground. Then Neptune and Uranus side by side till the end, not fair. Venus struck down by her own attack. Saturn, my God, Saturn poor kid witnessed her parents death, what they did to her…no I don't want to remember. My fault, all my fault, you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me. Damn the laws of nature damn my stupid attack. Why did I attack then? Why? A few more seconds wouldn't have mattered you would have been out of the way. I'm guilty, I put you here, and I killed you. Damn fate and destiny I hate them. Tears are running freely from my eyes now. They cloud my vision as I sank back into the chair and cried. Hours? Maybe only minutes, but that doesn't matter, time is not important anymore, nothing is. I steady myself to leave this time for good, though I cannot help but look back at you one last time. My eyes follow the many tubes and wires that are sustaining your life, and finally to your face. Eyes open, my God, you're awake you're all right. I shout for the doctor so I can tell him he was wrong. Again I sit down and begin to cry, but this time from joy. I look at you again to make sure I'm not dreaming. Something is wrong, your eyes, they seem strange, they are different than before. You look at me, questioning in your eyes. Why did I do it? That is the question I know you will ask. The one I can't answer.
"Who are you?"
My heart breaks from those three little words, you don't remember. I must be the kami's personal joke, the entire universe is laughing and I know it. I smile slowly finally catching onto the universe's joke.
"I'm Ma…never mind." I reply. The kami just love their jokes, and I'm willing to play along like the coward I am. "Sorry I have to go now."
I walk away slowly with my head down; faintly I can hear the doctor speaking to you.
"Welcome back to the land of the living Miss Mizuno…"
They have cast their judgement on the guilty and I know that this is my punishment for being a coward.
It's time, I guess, to face it. Time to let you go. As I stand up from the chair I look at you, my love.
"I love you." I hear myself whisper not really understanding why. I never said anything to you before, so why now? 'Because you're a coward,' A voice at the back of my mind yells I wish to deny it, to argue, but I know it's true. I am a coward because I never told you how I felt. I regret that. I close my eyes and remember everything that happened…
The battle, we were winning, at least I thought we were. They came from behind us; we never saw them coming. Mars went down first, too late, dead before she hit the ground. Then Neptune and Uranus side by side till the end, not fair. Venus struck down by her own attack. Saturn, my God, Saturn poor kid witnessed her parents death, what they did to her…no I don't want to remember. My fault, all my fault, you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me. Damn the laws of nature damn my stupid attack. Why did I attack then? Why? A few more seconds wouldn't have mattered you would have been out of the way. I'm guilty, I put you here, and I killed you. Damn fate and destiny I hate them. Tears are running freely from my eyes now. They cloud my vision as I sank back into the chair and cried. Hours? Maybe only minutes, but that doesn't matter, time is not important anymore, nothing is. I steady myself to leave this time for good, though I cannot help but look back at you one last time. My eyes follow the many tubes and wires that are sustaining your life, and finally to your face. Eyes open, my God, you're awake you're all right. I shout for the doctor so I can tell him he was wrong. Again I sit down and begin to cry, but this time from joy. I look at you again to make sure I'm not dreaming. Something is wrong, your eyes, they seem strange, they are different than before. You look at me, questioning in your eyes. Why did I do it? That is the question I know you will ask. The one I can't answer.
"Who are you?"
My heart breaks from those three little words, you don't remember. I must be the kami's personal joke, the entire universe is laughing and I know it. I smile slowly finally catching onto the universe's joke.
"I'm Ma…never mind." I reply. The kami just love their jokes, and I'm willing to play along like the coward I am. "Sorry I have to go now."
I walk away slowly with my head down; faintly I can hear the doctor speaking to you.
"Welcome back to the land of the living Miss Mizuno…"
They have cast their judgement on the guilty and I know that this is my punishment for being a coward.