This is my second GW fic. And my first was a humor. So this is my first serious one. My first angsty one, and my first one that hints at shonen-ai. (at the end) So, basically alot of firsts for me, Please review to let me know how I'm doing. PLEASE?? And I *know* that the title is cheesy, so please in reviews, let me know if you have any ideas for it.. or maybe you like it? *looks up hopefully and dodges the rotton fruit that is thrown* Ok...ok. Just please review, and let me know.
Oh and.. I don't own GW.. alot of rich peeps do. I'm not getting any money for this so please don't sue. Thankies.
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Duo grunted as a fist plummeted into his stomach. "Damn, Hilde, you've been practicing." He grunted, when he got his breath back.
Hilde smiled. Actully she had. Despite his whole 'women are weak' complex, Wufei had been training her. When she asked him, he used the excuse that since she was living with a Gundam pilot, she had to fill certin criteria. And according to him, that included fighting well.
She grinned and wiped her forehead, as she remembered the look on Duo's face when she asked him to spar, this morning. He knew better than to laugh, but it was written all over his face. And here she was actully keeping up with him... almost. She took another hit in the left shoulder, just above her breast. She saw Duo wince.
"Sorry. You ok?" he asked, concern written all over his face. At first, Hilde had found this cute and amusing, but after apoligizing for every hit, she was just about on her last nerve.
"I'm Fine!" she spat in his face. "I hardley felt that, I hope it wasn't your hardest. Not too good for a former Gundam pilot." She taunted. When actully, it hurt like hell. Her arm had gone numb for a moment, but if she let Duo know he hurt her, he'd never spar again. She took advantage of his momentary hurt look and lunged in for one right in the kisser.
Unfortunatly, he wasn't as upset over her comment as he looked, and he quickly reacted with an upper-cut into her stomach. it was so fast that Hilde was sure it was pure reflex. 'Now *that* hurt...' thought Hilde as she slid to the mat.
She saw stars and must have blacked out for a second, because when she opened her eyes she was laying on the ground and Duo was strattleing her and calling her name.
"Hilde! Hilde, Oh, God, Hilde. I'm *so* sorry." He was almost in tears. His big violet eyes were huge and reflecting the late morning sunlight that was streaming in the windows on the far side of the gym.
Hilde tried to yell at him, but it was then that she realized that she had stopped breathing. Gasping for air, she managed out a few words. "... Duo.. Get.. OFF!!"
He grabbed his braid sheepishly, realizing that he was on top of her. He had been so afraid when she stopped breathing, he was getting ready to give her CPR. Guiltly he slid off, and offered her his hand to help her up.
She ignored it and got up on her own, groaning as she contracted her stomach muscles.
"Oh, Hilde, I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinking. You came at me, and I just ... reacted, I guess." He came up to her.
She sighed. Those violet eyes were always her weakness. "I'm fine, Duo." she managed a little smile. "I guess I'll need a few more pointers from Wufei, before I try fighting you again." She turned and reached for her towel.
Duo stood open-mouthed. "Wu-Man's been teaching ya how to fight?!?" He grabbed his own towel and swiped behind his neck underneath his braid. "Man, and I just thought I was slipping."
Hilde turned to him, eyes blazing. "Oh!?! And just what *exactally* does *that* mean?!?"
Duo sweatdropped, (yeah I know they really don't, but just pretend ok?) realizing what he had just said. "uh.. well.. I just mean.... That.. Well, I mean. I... um.. You..., Hilde. You were awesome!! You've just gotten so much better. You were kicking my butt, 'till I got in that lucky shot." He nodded earnestly.
Hilde shock her head. Actully the fight had been pretty even up untill her stupid lunge. She knew he was just trying to get out of trouble, but right now her stomach hurt so much,she didn't feel like arguing. "Fine, Duo, you win this round." she stated, her eyes twinling. "Let's just go home. I have a headache." she lied.
Duo nodded, glad that she wasn't mad at him, and didn't seem to be hurt. 'Maybe I didn't hit her as hard as I thought I did.' he thought as he hurried out of the gym to open the car door for Hilde.
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Later that evening, Hilde stood in the locked bathroom looking at her stomach in the mirror. There wasn't any sign of brusing, yet. 'If only it didn't hurt so damn much.' she told herself. She heard Duo banging around in the kitchen and smiled. He had felt so guilty, he offered to cook. She normally wouldn't have accepted, concidering he couldn't boil water without setting something on fire, or blowing something up. She shock her head. 'You'd think a man who could pilot a Gundam, could at least toast bread...' But no. He couldn't do that either. It usually came out black, and once he reached a fork in the toaster to retrieve a peice of bread... needless to say they had been forced to purchace a new toaster. Hilde laughed at the memory. Suddenly she stopped and sat down hard on the toilet seat groaning. That really hurt.
She supposed that she should go to the doctors, but that would mean admitting to Duo, that he actully hurt her. I was a matter of pride. 'It'll be better in the morning.' She told herself, 'Now, I have to go and see what that burning smell is..'
After dinner, which wound up being ordered pizza from Tiffany's, Duo argued with Hilde about going to the doctors. He could tell by the way she was walking, that she was in pain, but she just wouldn't admit it. "Com'on, Hilde-babe. I know that I had to have hurt you." he pleaded.
Hilde fumed. "Well, arn't we the male-chauvisnistic pig, thinking you're going to break to poor weak woman with one stupid and not to mention *LUCKY* punch." She all, but screamed at him.
Duo decided to give up pleading and beg, "But can't ya just go to the doctors, or at least call up Sally and let her take a look at you. Even if I really didn't hurt you. It wouldn't kill you, you know."
"I will *not* bother Sally and make her come over and 'look at me', when I'm *fine*. And if you think I'm going to pay some chauvinistic-male-pig American doctor to tell me that I'm fine, you're crazy!!!" She spat back.
"Oh, so now, the almighty *German* is too good for us lowly American's huh?" he asked.
"That's not how I mean it, and you know it." she growled. Then she sighed throwing up her arms. She hated it when her and Duo fought. "Now, I've got a *migraine*, and I'm going to bed!" she screamed at him. And with that she slammed the bedroom door, and went to bed.
Hours later when Duo decided to go to bed, he knew better than to question the heating pad that Hilde was curled around. He sighed, figuring that if it got bad enough, she'd have enough sence go to the doctors. Being careful not to wake her, least she start yelling at him again, he slid his arms around her sleeping form, and fell asleep.
When Hilde woke up the next morning, the first thing that she noticed, besides Duo's arms around her, was that the pain in her stomach had eased from the excurciating pain of yesterday to a dull cramping. 'Now, this I can deal with.' She thought as she went to the bathroom. Sure enough, it was as Hilde suspected. 'Wow,' thought Hilde. 'Finally, I'm three weeks late. I was almost ready to ask Sally for a test, despite the fact that I'm on the pill.' Smiling, she crept past Duo, who was still asleep and began to make a 'make-up' breakfast.
After breakfast, and apoligies, and assurences that Hilde was fine, Duo left for work, and Hilde began to get ready for work herself.
Life continued to go on more-or-less normally for Duo and Hilde. Minus, of course, the sparing. Untill three days, later.
When Hilde woke up, she knew something was wrong. Nothing looked right. The entire room was blurry and spinning, and she was in excruciating pain. Her stomach felt like it was on fire. She gasped as she tried to move, and wound up closing her eyes and swallowing the lump of fear in her throat, letting out a small whimper in the process.
Duo heard and woke up. At first he couldn't figure out what had woken him, but as he turned to Hilde, he noticed her taunt, ashen face and he sat up alarmed. "Hey, Hilde." he whispered gently shaking her shoulder, "Are you alright?" She opened her eyes focusing on Duo, and they were filled with tears. She sniffed and shook her head. Duo, who had never seen Hilde cry was now frantic with worry. He felt for a temp and asked her what was wrong.
Hilde found herself unable to answer. She opened her mouth, but it seemed that nothing came out. Duo jumped out of bed and grabbed the phone on the nightstand. The last thing Hilde saw, was him punching in 911, his face frantic with worry.
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Relena was glad to have an excuse to stop filling out her stupid paperwork when the phone rang. She was even happier when she heard that it was Duo, however after listening to what happened, her face became grim. She called the rest of the pilots and the girls, (come on people, when I say the rest of the girls, you know I mean, Dorothy, Catherine, and Sally)
When Relena finally got to the hospital, everyone else was already there. This was the first time anyone of them had gotten a serious injury or illness since the war, and their faces were somber. Relena tried to make her way over to Heero, but he had his hands full with Duo, so she settled for sitting between Catherine and Dorothy.
Duo was definatly worse for wear. He felt sadness, and anger, but most of all guilt.
When the doctor came into the ER waiting room, everyone jumped up, and Duo ran to the front of the group. However, anyone could tell from the look of the doctors face that it wasn't good news. "I'm afraid, it looks like a miscarriage." He spoke grimly shaking his head.
Duo's mouth dropped open. "But.. but, she's..."
"On the pill." the doctor nodded. "Yes, we konw that, but it's not as uncommon as you think. The pill's not perfect." he sighed looking at the group. "The problem is, that these symptoms have obviously been going on for a few days. If I had to guess I'd say about three," Duo's face paled visably, and the doctor continued, "and now.. I'm afraid that there's nothing that we can do to stop the infection."
Duo's voice was horse as he asked. "Can I see her?"
The doctor nodded his head reluctantly. "You don't have much time." he spoke softly and guided Duo out of the waiting room to Hilde's door.
Gathering his courage, Duo stepped into the Intensive Care room. Hilde's eyes were closed and her face seemed to be etched in chalk. It's paleness was accented by her raven hair. As he stepped over to the bed, he was afraid to touch her. She looked like china. But suddenly she opened her eyes and as they focused on him, she smiled.
'Oh, God.' thought Duo. 'I did this to her, and she's still smiling at me.' His eyes filled with tears. She shock her head. And her delicate hand groped for his. He held it in both of his hands, as she whispered.
"It's... notnot... your .... fault." She licked her pale lips, and smiled at him again.
He clenched his eyes shut and screwed up his face shaking his head from side to side. "Yes it is, Damnit! First off, I shouldn't have fought you. Even then, I knew how hard I hit you, but I didn't take you to the doctors or anything. And I thought you were just,..." he opened his eyes, looked at the floor, and blushed still embarrased, even as the tears streamed down his face, "I thought you were having your 'time'. If only I'd questioned you, or.." He closed his eyes dropped his head, and suddenly he felt a hand on his check. He opened his eyes to look into Hilde's.
"D-don't cry... I thought so too. Even thought there was-s way t-t-too much blood... It'ss, .. my fault.. .. I wouldn't.. have gone t-to a doctor... anyway..." she smiled and then coughed, whincing. "too.. sturborn... must be.. must be that ... German in me.. Didn't want to l-listen to you am-americans." she smiled eluding to their inside joke. "B-but.. always kn-know.. Ah-I, love.... you." she whispered.
"And I love you." he told her.
She smiled as if she had waited her entire life for those three words, and then frowned momentarelly. "P-promise... me something." she looked up at him, her eyes boring into his soul.
"Anything." whispered Duo. And he meant it. At that moment, if she had told to hold his breath 'till he died, he would do it.
"Please... be happy.. when I'm.. gone..." she smiled, a single tear finding it's way down her porcilin check.
Duo did a double-take. 'Be happy?? How could I be happy without her?' As if sencing his hesitation, or maybe her own impending death, she prompted him. "Promise." Her voice seemed stronger, demanding. Almost as if she wern't laying there on a hospital bed, dying. Duo had no choise but to listen.
He flet his head nod against his will, and heard his voice say, "I promise."
She smiled, as she took her last breath. Her eyes closed for the last time. Her hand fell from Duo's face. And she was at peace.
Duo just sat there. He was too shocked to move. How had HIlde known that he was planning to kill himself? She had always known everything, but now even in death, she had made him do what she wanted.
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"Be happy." Duo scoffed, three days later, as he attempted to figure out how his stupid tie went. Hilde always tied it for him, her arms around him... He stopped, realizing where that train of thought was taking him. He was frustrated, because even his mind was betraying him, thinking about her, so he allowed himself to talk to the mirror as if she were really trying to help him tie his tie. "My life's a living hell, Hilde. Today's the day I have to bury you, and let you go forever, and you tell me to 'be happy.' Damnit, this isn't fair!!" He shouted and then looked at the floor, crying in shame for yelling at her when she wasn't even here to defend herself.
"You should know yourself that death isn't fair." spoke Heero, who had come into the room without Duo noticing. As Duo hurriedly tried to hide his tears, Heero spoke again. "Duo, In order to live fully, one needs to accept and act upon their emotions."
Duo looked at him, his eye's flashing in anger. "And if my emotions tell me, not to live?"
Heero shrugged, nonchalantly, "Maybe you're listening to the wrong ones."
"Oh yeah, Mr. Perfect Soldier?" Duo taunted. "You've got an answer for everything, don't you? You know, there are somethings in life that you can't just put back together, like a broken bone." He stared defiently at Heero.
Heero's eyes bore into Duo's, his gaze unwavered as he spoke. "Yes you can. But, sometimes it heals wrong, and you have to brake it again."
Duo sighed. "You're telling me I should start over, arn't you?" He asked not really expecting an answer. "I don't think I can, Heero." He choked back a sob.
"You can. But you need to eliminate guilt. It's like an infection, and a bone can't heal right with an infection." Heero stated in his non-emotional voice.
Duo sighed, and turned back to the mirror, attempting to fix his tie, "Everyone I've ever loved has died, Heero. It just hurts so much,.. How many times am I supposed to brake open my heart? How many times, Heero? Can you answer me that?"
"Untill you get it right." Heero murmered into Duo's ear. Duo caught his breath as Heero reached over Duo's shoulders to fix his tie. Duo felt Heero's body press against his own and closed his eyes, allowing the tears to trickle down.
"Sorry." he heard Heero aplogize. "I can only tie it, this way." Duo snapped his eyes open and looked into Heero's face. 'Was he *blushing*?' Duo was almost certin that Heero was. But that didn't make any sence, unless... Duo's eyes flashed in a moment of comprehension.
After fixing Duo's tie, Heero moved back to admire Duo's appearence. Duo looked into Heero's deep blue eyes and spoke, "Heero, I.." his voice cracked.
Heero shock his head, "You're not ready for this, now." he stated simply.
Duo grinned. His first real grin since Hilde had died. "But I will be... ."
Heero raised an eyebrow. "Hn." Was all he said.
"I will, as soon as I find a cure for my, 'infection'." he told him, refering to their little simile for guilt.
"We'll see." Heero told him before he turned and left.
Overall, the funeral went well. All the Gundam Pilots were there, as were the girls. There was hardley a dry eye in the entire church. Yet, Duo handled the funeral pretty well. Of course, it probebly had something to do with the fact that all of the Gundam pilots sat together. And as luck would have it, Duo sat next to Heero, drawing on his quiet strength throughout the service, much like he would for the rest of their lives.
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Com'on, PLEASE, REVIEW. It only takes a minute of your time... PLEASE.. PRETTY PLEASE WITH A... *whips out a basket of fresh cherries* CHERRY ON TOP?!?!? Even flames are welcome just give me some feed back.. I'm desperate!! You can even e-mail me at katsykatherine@hotmail.com.. But please review!!
Oh and.. I don't own GW.. alot of rich peeps do. I'm not getting any money for this so please don't sue. Thankies.
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Duo grunted as a fist plummeted into his stomach. "Damn, Hilde, you've been practicing." He grunted, when he got his breath back.
Hilde smiled. Actully she had. Despite his whole 'women are weak' complex, Wufei had been training her. When she asked him, he used the excuse that since she was living with a Gundam pilot, she had to fill certin criteria. And according to him, that included fighting well.
She grinned and wiped her forehead, as she remembered the look on Duo's face when she asked him to spar, this morning. He knew better than to laugh, but it was written all over his face. And here she was actully keeping up with him... almost. She took another hit in the left shoulder, just above her breast. She saw Duo wince.
"Sorry. You ok?" he asked, concern written all over his face. At first, Hilde had found this cute and amusing, but after apoligizing for every hit, she was just about on her last nerve.
"I'm Fine!" she spat in his face. "I hardley felt that, I hope it wasn't your hardest. Not too good for a former Gundam pilot." She taunted. When actully, it hurt like hell. Her arm had gone numb for a moment, but if she let Duo know he hurt her, he'd never spar again. She took advantage of his momentary hurt look and lunged in for one right in the kisser.
Unfortunatly, he wasn't as upset over her comment as he looked, and he quickly reacted with an upper-cut into her stomach. it was so fast that Hilde was sure it was pure reflex. 'Now *that* hurt...' thought Hilde as she slid to the mat.
She saw stars and must have blacked out for a second, because when she opened her eyes she was laying on the ground and Duo was strattleing her and calling her name.
"Hilde! Hilde, Oh, God, Hilde. I'm *so* sorry." He was almost in tears. His big violet eyes were huge and reflecting the late morning sunlight that was streaming in the windows on the far side of the gym.
Hilde tried to yell at him, but it was then that she realized that she had stopped breathing. Gasping for air, she managed out a few words. "... Duo.. Get.. OFF!!"
He grabbed his braid sheepishly, realizing that he was on top of her. He had been so afraid when she stopped breathing, he was getting ready to give her CPR. Guiltly he slid off, and offered her his hand to help her up.
She ignored it and got up on her own, groaning as she contracted her stomach muscles.
"Oh, Hilde, I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinking. You came at me, and I just ... reacted, I guess." He came up to her.
She sighed. Those violet eyes were always her weakness. "I'm fine, Duo." she managed a little smile. "I guess I'll need a few more pointers from Wufei, before I try fighting you again." She turned and reached for her towel.
Duo stood open-mouthed. "Wu-Man's been teaching ya how to fight?!?" He grabbed his own towel and swiped behind his neck underneath his braid. "Man, and I just thought I was slipping."
Hilde turned to him, eyes blazing. "Oh!?! And just what *exactally* does *that* mean?!?"
Duo sweatdropped, (yeah I know they really don't, but just pretend ok?) realizing what he had just said. "uh.. well.. I just mean.... That.. Well, I mean. I... um.. You..., Hilde. You were awesome!! You've just gotten so much better. You were kicking my butt, 'till I got in that lucky shot." He nodded earnestly.
Hilde shock her head. Actully the fight had been pretty even up untill her stupid lunge. She knew he was just trying to get out of trouble, but right now her stomach hurt so much,she didn't feel like arguing. "Fine, Duo, you win this round." she stated, her eyes twinling. "Let's just go home. I have a headache." she lied.
Duo nodded, glad that she wasn't mad at him, and didn't seem to be hurt. 'Maybe I didn't hit her as hard as I thought I did.' he thought as he hurried out of the gym to open the car door for Hilde.
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Later that evening, Hilde stood in the locked bathroom looking at her stomach in the mirror. There wasn't any sign of brusing, yet. 'If only it didn't hurt so damn much.' she told herself. She heard Duo banging around in the kitchen and smiled. He had felt so guilty, he offered to cook. She normally wouldn't have accepted, concidering he couldn't boil water without setting something on fire, or blowing something up. She shock her head. 'You'd think a man who could pilot a Gundam, could at least toast bread...' But no. He couldn't do that either. It usually came out black, and once he reached a fork in the toaster to retrieve a peice of bread... needless to say they had been forced to purchace a new toaster. Hilde laughed at the memory. Suddenly she stopped and sat down hard on the toilet seat groaning. That really hurt.
She supposed that she should go to the doctors, but that would mean admitting to Duo, that he actully hurt her. I was a matter of pride. 'It'll be better in the morning.' She told herself, 'Now, I have to go and see what that burning smell is..'
After dinner, which wound up being ordered pizza from Tiffany's, Duo argued with Hilde about going to the doctors. He could tell by the way she was walking, that she was in pain, but she just wouldn't admit it. "Com'on, Hilde-babe. I know that I had to have hurt you." he pleaded.
Hilde fumed. "Well, arn't we the male-chauvisnistic pig, thinking you're going to break to poor weak woman with one stupid and not to mention *LUCKY* punch." She all, but screamed at him.
Duo decided to give up pleading and beg, "But can't ya just go to the doctors, or at least call up Sally and let her take a look at you. Even if I really didn't hurt you. It wouldn't kill you, you know."
"I will *not* bother Sally and make her come over and 'look at me', when I'm *fine*. And if you think I'm going to pay some chauvinistic-male-pig American doctor to tell me that I'm fine, you're crazy!!!" She spat back.
"Oh, so now, the almighty *German* is too good for us lowly American's huh?" he asked.
"That's not how I mean it, and you know it." she growled. Then she sighed throwing up her arms. She hated it when her and Duo fought. "Now, I've got a *migraine*, and I'm going to bed!" she screamed at him. And with that she slammed the bedroom door, and went to bed.
Hours later when Duo decided to go to bed, he knew better than to question the heating pad that Hilde was curled around. He sighed, figuring that if it got bad enough, she'd have enough sence go to the doctors. Being careful not to wake her, least she start yelling at him again, he slid his arms around her sleeping form, and fell asleep.
When Hilde woke up the next morning, the first thing that she noticed, besides Duo's arms around her, was that the pain in her stomach had eased from the excurciating pain of yesterday to a dull cramping. 'Now, this I can deal with.' She thought as she went to the bathroom. Sure enough, it was as Hilde suspected. 'Wow,' thought Hilde. 'Finally, I'm three weeks late. I was almost ready to ask Sally for a test, despite the fact that I'm on the pill.' Smiling, she crept past Duo, who was still asleep and began to make a 'make-up' breakfast.
After breakfast, and apoligies, and assurences that Hilde was fine, Duo left for work, and Hilde began to get ready for work herself.
Life continued to go on more-or-less normally for Duo and Hilde. Minus, of course, the sparing. Untill three days, later.
When Hilde woke up, she knew something was wrong. Nothing looked right. The entire room was blurry and spinning, and she was in excruciating pain. Her stomach felt like it was on fire. She gasped as she tried to move, and wound up closing her eyes and swallowing the lump of fear in her throat, letting out a small whimper in the process.
Duo heard and woke up. At first he couldn't figure out what had woken him, but as he turned to Hilde, he noticed her taunt, ashen face and he sat up alarmed. "Hey, Hilde." he whispered gently shaking her shoulder, "Are you alright?" She opened her eyes focusing on Duo, and they were filled with tears. She sniffed and shook her head. Duo, who had never seen Hilde cry was now frantic with worry. He felt for a temp and asked her what was wrong.
Hilde found herself unable to answer. She opened her mouth, but it seemed that nothing came out. Duo jumped out of bed and grabbed the phone on the nightstand. The last thing Hilde saw, was him punching in 911, his face frantic with worry.
*********************
Relena was glad to have an excuse to stop filling out her stupid paperwork when the phone rang. She was even happier when she heard that it was Duo, however after listening to what happened, her face became grim. She called the rest of the pilots and the girls, (come on people, when I say the rest of the girls, you know I mean, Dorothy, Catherine, and Sally)
When Relena finally got to the hospital, everyone else was already there. This was the first time anyone of them had gotten a serious injury or illness since the war, and their faces were somber. Relena tried to make her way over to Heero, but he had his hands full with Duo, so she settled for sitting between Catherine and Dorothy.
Duo was definatly worse for wear. He felt sadness, and anger, but most of all guilt.
When the doctor came into the ER waiting room, everyone jumped up, and Duo ran to the front of the group. However, anyone could tell from the look of the doctors face that it wasn't good news. "I'm afraid, it looks like a miscarriage." He spoke grimly shaking his head.
Duo's mouth dropped open. "But.. but, she's..."
"On the pill." the doctor nodded. "Yes, we konw that, but it's not as uncommon as you think. The pill's not perfect." he sighed looking at the group. "The problem is, that these symptoms have obviously been going on for a few days. If I had to guess I'd say about three," Duo's face paled visably, and the doctor continued, "and now.. I'm afraid that there's nothing that we can do to stop the infection."
Duo's voice was horse as he asked. "Can I see her?"
The doctor nodded his head reluctantly. "You don't have much time." he spoke softly and guided Duo out of the waiting room to Hilde's door.
Gathering his courage, Duo stepped into the Intensive Care room. Hilde's eyes were closed and her face seemed to be etched in chalk. It's paleness was accented by her raven hair. As he stepped over to the bed, he was afraid to touch her. She looked like china. But suddenly she opened her eyes and as they focused on him, she smiled.
'Oh, God.' thought Duo. 'I did this to her, and she's still smiling at me.' His eyes filled with tears. She shock her head. And her delicate hand groped for his. He held it in both of his hands, as she whispered.
"It's... notnot... your .... fault." She licked her pale lips, and smiled at him again.
He clenched his eyes shut and screwed up his face shaking his head from side to side. "Yes it is, Damnit! First off, I shouldn't have fought you. Even then, I knew how hard I hit you, but I didn't take you to the doctors or anything. And I thought you were just,..." he opened his eyes, looked at the floor, and blushed still embarrased, even as the tears streamed down his face, "I thought you were having your 'time'. If only I'd questioned you, or.." He closed his eyes dropped his head, and suddenly he felt a hand on his check. He opened his eyes to look into Hilde's.
"D-don't cry... I thought so too. Even thought there was-s way t-t-too much blood... It'ss, .. my fault.. .. I wouldn't.. have gone t-to a doctor... anyway..." she smiled and then coughed, whincing. "too.. sturborn... must be.. must be that ... German in me.. Didn't want to l-listen to you am-americans." she smiled eluding to their inside joke. "B-but.. always kn-know.. Ah-I, love.... you." she whispered.
"And I love you." he told her.
She smiled as if she had waited her entire life for those three words, and then frowned momentarelly. "P-promise... me something." she looked up at him, her eyes boring into his soul.
"Anything." whispered Duo. And he meant it. At that moment, if she had told to hold his breath 'till he died, he would do it.
"Please... be happy.. when I'm.. gone..." she smiled, a single tear finding it's way down her porcilin check.
Duo did a double-take. 'Be happy?? How could I be happy without her?' As if sencing his hesitation, or maybe her own impending death, she prompted him. "Promise." Her voice seemed stronger, demanding. Almost as if she wern't laying there on a hospital bed, dying. Duo had no choise but to listen.
He flet his head nod against his will, and heard his voice say, "I promise."
She smiled, as she took her last breath. Her eyes closed for the last time. Her hand fell from Duo's face. And she was at peace.
Duo just sat there. He was too shocked to move. How had HIlde known that he was planning to kill himself? She had always known everything, but now even in death, she had made him do what she wanted.
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"Be happy." Duo scoffed, three days later, as he attempted to figure out how his stupid tie went. Hilde always tied it for him, her arms around him... He stopped, realizing where that train of thought was taking him. He was frustrated, because even his mind was betraying him, thinking about her, so he allowed himself to talk to the mirror as if she were really trying to help him tie his tie. "My life's a living hell, Hilde. Today's the day I have to bury you, and let you go forever, and you tell me to 'be happy.' Damnit, this isn't fair!!" He shouted and then looked at the floor, crying in shame for yelling at her when she wasn't even here to defend herself.
"You should know yourself that death isn't fair." spoke Heero, who had come into the room without Duo noticing. As Duo hurriedly tried to hide his tears, Heero spoke again. "Duo, In order to live fully, one needs to accept and act upon their emotions."
Duo looked at him, his eye's flashing in anger. "And if my emotions tell me, not to live?"
Heero shrugged, nonchalantly, "Maybe you're listening to the wrong ones."
"Oh yeah, Mr. Perfect Soldier?" Duo taunted. "You've got an answer for everything, don't you? You know, there are somethings in life that you can't just put back together, like a broken bone." He stared defiently at Heero.
Heero's eyes bore into Duo's, his gaze unwavered as he spoke. "Yes you can. But, sometimes it heals wrong, and you have to brake it again."
Duo sighed. "You're telling me I should start over, arn't you?" He asked not really expecting an answer. "I don't think I can, Heero." He choked back a sob.
"You can. But you need to eliminate guilt. It's like an infection, and a bone can't heal right with an infection." Heero stated in his non-emotional voice.
Duo sighed, and turned back to the mirror, attempting to fix his tie, "Everyone I've ever loved has died, Heero. It just hurts so much,.. How many times am I supposed to brake open my heart? How many times, Heero? Can you answer me that?"
"Untill you get it right." Heero murmered into Duo's ear. Duo caught his breath as Heero reached over Duo's shoulders to fix his tie. Duo felt Heero's body press against his own and closed his eyes, allowing the tears to trickle down.
"Sorry." he heard Heero aplogize. "I can only tie it, this way." Duo snapped his eyes open and looked into Heero's face. 'Was he *blushing*?' Duo was almost certin that Heero was. But that didn't make any sence, unless... Duo's eyes flashed in a moment of comprehension.
After fixing Duo's tie, Heero moved back to admire Duo's appearence. Duo looked into Heero's deep blue eyes and spoke, "Heero, I.." his voice cracked.
Heero shock his head, "You're not ready for this, now." he stated simply.
Duo grinned. His first real grin since Hilde had died. "But I will be... ."
Heero raised an eyebrow. "Hn." Was all he said.
"I will, as soon as I find a cure for my, 'infection'." he told him, refering to their little simile for guilt.
"We'll see." Heero told him before he turned and left.
Overall, the funeral went well. All the Gundam Pilots were there, as were the girls. There was hardley a dry eye in the entire church. Yet, Duo handled the funeral pretty well. Of course, it probebly had something to do with the fact that all of the Gundam pilots sat together. And as luck would have it, Duo sat next to Heero, drawing on his quiet strength throughout the service, much like he would for the rest of their lives.
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Com'on, PLEASE, REVIEW. It only takes a minute of your time... PLEASE.. PRETTY PLEASE WITH A... *whips out a basket of fresh cherries* CHERRY ON TOP?!?!? Even flames are welcome just give me some feed back.. I'm desperate!! You can even e-mail me at katsykatherine@hotmail.com.. But please review!!