A/N: I hope no one gets too annoyed by the short chapters. I just like having one letter at a time and I'll be posting several chapters at once. Thanks to imadoodlenoodle for being such a great beta. Enjoy :)
25th August 1994
Sir,
I would to be make myself clear on one matter. This matter is Albus Dumbledore and my strong feelings of dislike for him.
If you have the inclination to share my current attitude with him then, by all means, inform him. I do not care in the slightest. He'll just chuckle as if it is all one big joke. This time, I am serious.
He served me biscuits and hot cocoa as he announced, very casually, that I would be writing to someone called Ferdinand - and on that note, it is a pleasure to meet you - because I've seemed 'slightly unstable as of late.' I find the very notion of being analysed and labeled in such a manner highly offensive.
It is true that I may have upended a student's cauldron full of Exploding Fluid during one of my lectures, (some people call them rants. I assure you they are not), and caused the entire dissolution of my classroom. However, if anyone had taken the time to look at the complete picture, he or she would clearly notice that my actions were not disproportional to the cause of my 'meltdown,' as they so eloquently phrased it. There were extenuating circumstances; such as Ernley's potion being the only acceptable - and even then a poor imitation of 'acceptable' - one and the rest of my dunderheaded, blank-eyed morons not even being able to correctly finish the base solution. It was also the last day of term. After a full year of classes dotted with similar instances one would believe that this singular act of rashness could be overlooked. And the classroom is back to how it ought to be. And no one was hurt.
Of course, Albus Dumbledore is not the sort of man to jump to conclusions based on a single event. I won't deny that it could be probable... It is possible... I may have slightly threatened to castrate Ludo Bagman this summer at a meeting. But that's all in how you interpret my wording. What I meant to say is that he was a great beater. One of the best.
The entire situation with Mad-Eye Moody was also . . . lamentable. However, how would you react if someone referred to you indirectly as Batman? For five hours?
That's why I've been requested to write to you, Ferdinand. To release my 'pent-up anger and frustrations.' Because sending a stranger my innermost thoughts and feelings for psychoanalysis is going to help me a lot.
I told him I would rather eat my own eye balls and that he could go to Azkaban for all I cared.
I am now sitting in his office writing you your first and final letter.
Dumbledore has just read this letter from over my shoulder and said that this is the first of many. It is the start of what could become a beautiful friendship and even as summer dies . . . now he's reciting haikus. This is what I have to put up with, a man who hides his cunning behind the facade of a doddering old man.
Yours Respectfully,
S.S.