Here Without You, a rush, 2008 fanfic

Josh sat down on his bed and picked up a framed photo of him and a brunette-haired girl. He gently stroked the photo, remembering that relationship and how tight he and his girlfriend Zara had been. He still missed her terribly and their breakup had broken his heart. He had tried to forget but even now his heart ached when he thought about her. He was a tough man who was not inept of showing his true feelings regardless of the consequences. When it came to love however, Josh fell hard and getting back up and walking away was the only way to show that he didn't hurt when infact he did.

With Zara he had been more relaxed and care-free and had loved her with every fibre he possessed in his body. She had loved him in the same way and he had considered proposing to her but then disaster had struck and she had been torn away from him without even so much as a goodbye.

He found the note she had left, her scribbled handwriting barely legible. The words "I'm sorry Josh, I'm needed elsewhere, I have to go. Z xxx" scrawled across the paper had been blurred with the many tears he had shed since he found it and the paper was worn in some places due to him rubbing it between his fingers so many times. He had tried to ring her mobile but it had always gone to her message bank, "Hi you've got Zara. I'm not here but leave a message and I will get back to you". Recently though, it had been disconnected, "The phone number you are trying to reach has been disconnected. Please check the number and try again". That had been the last straw.

Two years after she had left, he had been through a series of relationships but none lasted more than 3 months. His workmates teased him about it and nicknamed him the '3 month wonder' but he just shrugged it off and pretended he was fine with it all.

When he was home, that's when he fell apart. He started his ritual breakdown by first looking at every photo he had of Zara, then the note. Then he got angry, started swearing and throwing things until he collapsed, broken-hearted on the floor and cried himself to sleep. This happened every 3 weeks without fail. The next day he would put on a 'normal' face and go to work and pretend everything was alright, but the pain was still there, simmering under the surface.

One time, Lawson had caught him looking at the photo of him and Zara he kept inside his locker.

"Hey Josh, Kerry's in nightmare mode again and…Josh? You okay?" Lawson had said, picking up that something was wrong with Josh. Josh turned around and Lawson could see that he had been crying. "She's gone. I'll never get her back!" Josh sobbed. Lawson led Josh to the couch where he let Josh pour out his grief and watched his friend crumble, the usually bull-headed Josh, reduced to a broken man. Once Josh had calmed down enough to be coherent, they talked and Lawson said they he would try and track her down for him. Josh thanked him and said he felt better now that someone else knew and Lawson told him that he could come to him if he ever needed to talk.

Lawson got up and switched on the radio to see if he could get the latest traffic report. Suddenly a song came on the radio which got both his and Josh's attention. The lyrics played over and over again in Josh's head. He thought back to the last time he had seen Zara.

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me

The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won't take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it's all said and done
It gets hard but it wont take away my love

Zara had been sent back to her family because they needed her on a mission. She was a skilled spy, bombs expert, master lock picker among many other talents. When her father had learnt of her relationship with Josh, he had demanded she come home. She was hauled back to Israel, the place where she grew up and hated so much. She missed Josh terribly and had not been able to sleep for several weeks after arriving home which caused her mother to become frantic, thinking she was going to die.

Zara had smuggled a photo of Josh home and that kept her from completely falling apart. She threw herself into work to try and forget him but even that didn't work that well. Her father noticed that her health had declined since she had arrived home, she would not eat except for clear soup, she was at the gym for hours on end and she spent hours locked in her room. He figured that she was pining for her boyfriend and his heart softened. Zara was his only child and he did not want to lose her. Then one day, he received an email from the head of the Victorian Police Force asking him if he had someone who could act as a Liason Officer between a special taskforce they had set up and Mossad. The person would be working with the top cops in Victoria who had been picked for a team known as the Tactical Response team. They dealt with everything from bombings to hostage negotiations. Leroy Mellerton conferred with his wife Jennifer and they agreed that out of all of the members, their daughter was the best person to send. She was an expert in bomb dismantling, their top negotiator, firearms expert and could hack into any system she wanted. She knew the ins and outs of espionage, tactical planning and maneuvers, could disarm a person pointing a gun at her in less than 2 seconds and negotiate a situation to swing her way with no effort. When they told her where her next mission was and for how long, she accepted and packed to leave.

When she arrived she had no idea where she was supposed to go so she dug the directions out of her pocket and was hailing a taxi when a police officer raced past her at full speed. Sighing, she got into the cab and gave the address of the place her parents had rented for her, unpacked and phoned in to let them know she had arrived. She had a shower, dried her hair, did her makeup, cleaned and re-holstered her guns and knife and strapped one gun to her thigh, the other on her ankle and the knife at her belt. She picked up the file on the officers she was to be working with but decided not to open it until she got to the building where the team was stationed.

She stepped out, hailed a taxi and was taken to the building that she had given the address to the cab-driver. She paid the driver and got out, taking time to survey the building, sizing it up for possible attack points, finding quite a few, she smiled to herself and stepped into the building. She asked for Inspector Kerry Vincent and within a matter of minutes, found herself face-to-face with her. They chatted away like old friends, Kerry filling her in on the taskforce members. When Zara heard Josh's name, she quickly opened her file and nearly fainted. Kerry saw her go white and quickly got up and asked her what was wrong. Zara told her everything, about how she and Josh had dated for two years today but that same day she had been called home and had had to leave in a hurry. She told Kerry how much she had missed Josh and that she thought she would never see him again.

After that, Zara was leaving the office when she ran into someone solid. She continued to look down, muttered an apology and went to step around them when two hands grasped her shoulders firmly and a voice asked her to look at him.

She looked up and came face to face with Lawson, who promptly recognized her as Josh's missing girlfriend Zara, identified her, led her out to the balcony and quickly filled her in on Josh's condition. She was devastated to hear how badly Josh had coped since she left and told Lawson that she had acted in the same manner when she had arrived home.

Lawson left her on the balcony to think. He quickly walked to the squadroom, hauled Josh off the couch and told him that there was someone he should meet. He blindfolded him and led him to the door connecting to the balcony. Lawson removed the blindfold and quickly left the room.

Josh, seeing he had been abandoned with some strange woman, shrugged and walked out to the balcony.

"Nice day isn't it?" he asked casually. "Yeah it's okay" was the reply. Suddenly a flash of light caught his eye and he spotted the ring on the woman's left hand. He recognized the ring, it was the one he had bought Zara at a market stall about a year ago. "Zara?" he asked softly, not daring to speak louder incase he was wrong. The woman's head shot up and she whirled around to face him, surprise showing clearly all over her face. "Oh my god" was the whispered reply before she shrieked "Josh!" and launched herself at him. He hugged her tightly whispering "I will never let you go again" and "I love you" into her hair. She started crying which set him off, but the tears were of pure joy because they had found each other again.

Later that afternoon, they caught each other up on what had happened since she had left and Zara was horrified to learn how badly Josh had coped and she kept apologizing and blaming herself.