Okay so I watched Reign earlier today as I finally stopped studying for exams and had time to myself. I was on my computer and just started writing this up, I've been wanting to write a Bash/ Mary one shot for a while now and I've done it. This is angst and takes place just after 1x17.
It had been one of the most stressful days at Court as of yet. There had been deception, plotting, arguments and betrayal. Ever since Mary had arrived at Court there had been drama every day, more scheming in chambers and more bloodshed than it need be. She had brought with her destruction but had not been her fault, it had been the fault of the people that were my family, plotting to use her as pawn to gain more power, to claim England. None of this had been her fault. It all came back to Catherine and my father, the current mad king. All Mary had done was tried to protect her country and do what was best for Scotland.
I was walking down one of the long corridors, my thoughts swimming in my mind causing me to receive a headache from them. I was bound to a woman that I had despised and in love with Mary, my brother's wife - by some horrific twist- who was the Queen of Scotland. My father was now a raving lunatic, flirting with my wife and being far more imitate with her than I would have liked. Of course, Kenna and I had developed a mutual understand recently and it seemed that her company could be quite enjoyable but it was a marriage based on nothing. I knew that I had to forget Mary, had to move on from her just like I had tried to do when I had made an attempt to run away for good only to come back to the castle seeking for help. No matter what I did everything brought me back to her. She was a constant light, a constant force that pulled me in like gravity.
"Bash?" A fragile voice asked from behind me, a voice that belonged to one of Mary's ladies, Lola.
"Yes?" I turned around to face her with my eyebrows raised slightly and my hands behind my back in the most formal gesture I could muster.
Lola's black curls cascaded down her shoulders and her pale skin shone underneath the glow of the candles. Her hands were softly placed in her lap as she stared at me with concerned eyes, a look that she had ever since she had nursed me back to health. She tilted her head to the side as if she was a mother looking a child that was guilty of taken something that didn't belong to him. I put a smile on my face not wanting her to question my sullen brooding expression.
"Are you okay?" She asked, gesturing with her hand to the room behind her. "Should I call for Kenna?"
"No, that will not be necessary." I shook my head at her, smiling as much as I could. "Just tell her a message for me please. Tell her that I have gone to our chamber early as I have a mild headache and not to worry about me. It is just something that has come upon me after today."
Lola nodded politely with a peculiar twinkle in her eye as though she could read my thoughts, read why I was currently so distressed. "Get well soon, Bash."
I smiled as a thank you before turning back around and heading down the cold corridor to where my room was. I drew in a breath, half of me wanted to go and follow Lola back into the room where I knew Mary was and demand to have more of an explanation out of her as to why she didn't marry me and to continue to tell her how much I loved her, how much I couldn't bear to see her with Francis anymore. Yet the other half, the rational side of me, knew that it would only cause more heartache than it should and continued to walk down the stone pathway. It would destroy Kenna if I did that after we made a promise to not go back to our past but to move on instead and I wouldn't be the reason why there was another broken heart in the castle. She was my wife and my duty was to her.
I walked into my room and shut the wooden door tight behind me. I glanced around the room, barely recognising it as my own anymore now that the majority of Kenna's belongings had been brought in and shoved in anywhere they would fit. At least my bookcase still rested in the corner but even the books had fallen into the floor due to the rough treatment of the guards that had brought Kenna's furniture in. Sighing, I picked them up off the floor and putting them back in the correct place.
Just then the door opened quietly as though the person who had opened it didn't want to be known, regretting the decision to come. I closed my eyes and drew in a breath expecting Kenna to be at the door but when I turned around, I was met with someone else entirely. She was stood by the door, her beautiful dark hair flowing down her chest and her hands hanging loosely by her sides as though she didn't know what to do with them. Her brown eyes were shimmering with worry and concern, her cheeks flushed as though she had been running.
"Mary." I stuttered trying to regain my posture. "What are you doing here?"
"Ah, Lola said you were unwell. I was coming to check on you to see if you require a physician." She smiled but there was something in her voice that wavered. Why did she do this? What was it about this woman in front of me that whenever she was near me I just lost all rational thought?
"No, thank you." I nodded.
You don't want her, Bash. She is your brother's wife. She didn't pick you. You are married now. Let her walk away. The rational part of me was strong, fighting against every nerve in my body that wanted to run up to her and against all logic kiss her and confess that I would always love her, and watching her love Francis was tearing me apart. My heart swelled at the sight of her looking at me and I drew in a breath, my head swirling with what was right and wrong.
"Kenna tells me that you two aren't killing each other." She let out a half-hearted laugh and her brown eyes retreated to the floor before meeting with mine and once again it felt as though my heart stopped beating.
"We have an understanding." I told her. "She is my wife. I am loyal to her now."
There was a moment of silence and I didn't dare move or speak. I simply just looked at her. This could have been so different if she had just married me. We would have been happy together, content with our lives because we had each other. I would have been loyal to her not to this country that I had been raised in because her happiness meant more than any country ever could. She meant more to me than anything. She brought light with her wherever she went. She was good, strong and fierce but she wasn't mine.
"I need to know." She whispered, taking a step towards me and giving me a look that showed her doubt as to whether she should be asking me this. "Why did you lie about your feelings for me?"
"Because it wouldn't have changed anything, Mary." I stared at her with my eyes wide. Why did she have to ask me this? Why did she do this when I was slowly slipping in control of my feelings when I was around her? Why would she do this when I was supposed to be loyal to Kenna? The thought of her enraged me but not in a way that made me hate her, in a way that made me hate the effect she had on me. I was powerless against her. My mother had been right when it came to her I was acting as a man who was dying of thirst and she was the only water supply. I was bleeding for a girl that could never be mine.
"When I came back here, you and Francis were happy and I was back to being the bastard. You are my brother's wife. How dare I say that I still love you after all this time of being apart from you? After trying to convince myself that I could move on? And, then I came back here and the feelings were still there. Whenever I am around you my control lessens just a little bit and I say something that I shouldn't like telling you that I lied to you. I should have pretended, continued with the rouse, that I no longer loved you but I couldn't."
Mary's eyes were glistening with tears as she gazed upon me and I unintentionally took a step towards her, my eyes just completely focused on her. She looked at me as though I was a wounded animal that she couldn't save and I knew that I was looking at her to save me from the situation I am in. I was begging her to save me.
"Then why tell me after you and Kenna were married?" She asked her voice as fierce as ever.
"All I could think about was how close we had been to it. All I could think about when I was with her that there would be no chance for you and I. I had nothing left to fight for you with. I had just got married and I knew that I would be stuck here in this castle for the rest of my life watching you love my brother and be happy with him. I was married to Kenna, your best friend, and I had been defeated. So I apologise for telling you that I was still in love with you. I am sorry that I felt so defeated that I had nothing left in me to try but I will try to keep it in control from now on. I will keep my feelings for you at bay and I will be the perfect brother in law, a friend but that's all I can be. I have to be loyal to her now, to my wife."
"Bash…" Mary shook her head and walked towards me, her hand outstretched for mine and I allowed her to take it willingly. I could hold her hand. I could do that but that's all I could do. Her fingers were intertwined with mine sending shivers through my body, remembering how the last time we had done this I had been on my knees proposing to her. It seemed like another era.
We didn't say anything. We just stayed in that position, her holding my hand as she fought back tears and me holding all restraint to stop myself from kissing her. It was silence in the room around us and I just wanted to stay in my room forever without any interruptions so I could be with the girl I loved for the rest of my life instead of someone that I had been forced to wed. If there was any pagan ritual, any dark sorcery that allowed that to happen then I would do it. It would be against my better judgement and entirely selfish but just standing here with her touching me just took all my pain away. She leaned closer to me, our foreheads only a fraction apart and I could feel her breath on my skin. I closed my eyes, welcoming her soft scent to fill me, and tilted my head up ever so slowly.
"This is wrong." I muttered under my breath but unable to pull away from her. "We are married, Mary. You to my brother and I to one of your ladies."
She pulled herself away from me and dropped her hand away from me, my body whimpering at the loss of her touch, her warmth. Her cheeks were more flushed now than they had been when she had come into my room and I only hoped that her heart was pounding against her chest like mine.
"You are loyal, Bash and you will be a good husband." Her hand rose to caress my cheek, her fingers feeling like heaven and home all at the same time. "And, I won't hurt Francis or Kenna. Neither would you. You would hate yourself if you broke your promise and you would eventually hate me. I couldn't bear the thought of you hating me because I destroyed who you are and what you stand for."
"I can't ruin who you are and all your morals. I couldn't be the reason that you ruin your reputation when you are a Queen, someone not fitting for mere bastard. You are a good wife to Francis and I can't come between the two of you." I smiled at her as my heart broke in my chest, shattering into a million pieces as each word was spoken. "That would destroy me, Mary. I can't hurt my brother any more than I already have. You have made your choice and I have been given this. We have to stand by our vows and be loyal to the person that we are married to."
Mary nodded and dropped her hand from my face, turned and walked towards the door leaving me standing in the centre of the room that I shared with my wife. She took small steps towards the door as if she couldn't bring herself to leave, as if there was more she wanted to say. I knew that I shouldn't look because I would always have this memory of her walking through the door and leaving me for the final time but I couldn't tear my eyes away from her. She came to a stop as she reached the door, her fingers wrapped around the iron handle.
"Bash, you and I, we would have been happy." She wasn't looking at me. She was staring at the door unable to glance back at me, leaving me with one last confession. "You were right. If I had married you I would have been happy. We could have been something truly beautiful. You awakened things in me and I do love you but I have to be loyal to my country and to me, I love Francis too. I chose what I thought was best. I needed you to know that and one more thing; I love you still. My feelings have not changed for you."
"I know." I bit the inside of my lip, watching her go with her last declaration of love hanging in the air. I knew everything that she had said but I also knew that it didn't matter any more because of politics at Court, their forces had driven us further apart so much so that our loyalties were no longer to each other but to our betrothed. For we had to be loyal to those we cared for and we couldn't be selfish. She couldn't be selfish by loving us both. We couldn't be together. We had to do what was right rather than what we wanted.
Here we are guys, what did you think? I'm really worried about this because this isn't TVD and I'm not so familiar with the characters and such. Anyway, I hope you liked it. If you did I might write more because these two are slowly taking over my life. Please review, thank you so much for taking the time out to read!
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love,
Lauren :) XxX