They had barely ever talked. She barely knew him, and he barely knew her. But they had one thing tying them together. Dean. To him, when Dean died, it was like the end of the world, like all the sun and brightness had been snuffed out. To her, it was like a cave in, like her entire universe just was slowly crumbling on top of her. Dean had known everything he needed to, more than most of the people who made it through, yet there he was, lying on the cold floor of the Great Hall, blood drying on the back of his head, where the falling beam had hit, causing his brain to collapse, just like her world. She sits next to him, crying silently, tears falling into her lap. She barely feels the arms wrap around her, or the tears falling into her hair. She hears a low murmuring "It's gonna be alright, Luna, It's gonna be alright."
She looks up and sees someone who knows exactly how she feels. His face is covered in tears, and he stares at Dean, who stares back, eyes unseeing, uncomprehending, dead. She looks at the boy next to her, covered in ash, eyes cold, not sparkling like normal. He looks as if he could be next to his best friend, dead on the floor, and she knows that a part of him is, because she's there too.
She goes to the funeral with him, and it's like burying a part of herself when she pours the handful of dirt on top of the coffin. She only knows Seamus, so she holds his hand while he talks with Dean's mother. He introduces Luna as Dean's girlfriend, and she squeezes his hand. She isn't sure how he knows, they never told anyone, but he just smiles a sad smile, and squeezes back.
She returns to Hogwarts in September, and it doesn't feel right. The castle is exactly how she remembers it, but during meals her eyes stray to a spot next to the Gryffindor table where last year there was a blood stain. It's gone now, but she still remembers exactly where he lay. She walks past the column every day, and she sees it falling and hitting the back of his head. For the first time in seven years, Luna couldn't wait to leave Hogwarts.
He gives up on being a wizard. It's not like he was good to begin with, but now, he just doesn't see the point. He gets a job in a factory, and every night he goes down to a muggle pub, where he drinks way more than he should. He misses the days when one glass of fire whiskey could get a person drunker than ten of the sad muggle beers. But whenever he thinks about fire whiskey, he thinks about Dean, and the time they got so drunk in their sixth year, that he had almost snogged Winky the house elf. Sometimes he sees people from Hogwarts, and they acknowledge one another, but nothing else, and day after day he does the same thing, wake up, go to work, make money, buy booze, get drunk, and go to sleep. He's hung over every morning, but it's better than remembering that Dean died, and he lived.
When the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts rolls around, Seamus knows that the weak muggle liquor isn't enough, so he makes his way to the Leaky Cauldron, even though he knows that there would be so much there to remind him, it might make it worse. He goes anyway. The pub is nearly empty, to his surprise. There are only three people scattered around. One of them, the one with bright hair, and a vague expression, stares at her fire whiskey like she's afraid of what it will do to her. He looks at her, and in his mind hopes that it isn't her, the one person who will make forgetting Dean for the evening impossible. "Shit." He swears to himself. She looks up, and meets his eyes. She drinks the whiskey, and smiles a sad smile.
She has never gotten drunk before, and tonight seems like a good night for it. She's graduated from Hogwarts, and needs some where to stay that is far away from the Luna she was in the past, the Luna who believed in Nargles and that death was just a part of life. She needs to change, the stop being the Luna she was with Dean. Dean. God, he was the last thing she needed to think about tonight. She takes a drink of whatever it is in front of her. It tastes worse than Polyjuice Potion, but she takes another swig, because it dulls the pain that comes with thinking about Dean. She stares at the drink as someone enters the pub. She's thinking about taking another sip, when she hears the person swear. She looks up and locks eyes with Seamus Finnigan. Shit indeed. She is never going to be able to forget Dean if his best friend is in the very same pub. She quickly drinks the rest of whatever was in front of her, and smiles at him. She stands. They have to acknowledge each other now. Besides, they are both here for the same reason. She can see it in his eyes.
She's unsteady already, and she's only had one drink. She stumbles over to him, and is very proud of the fact that she hasn't fallen on her face yet. She takes another wobbly step, and promptly trips. She expects to hit the ground, and when she doesn't, she is shocked. Then she sees his hands and feels his arms around her. He helps her stand back up, and smiles at her, a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. "You alright, Luna?"
God, that was the dumbest thing for him to ask. Of course she wasn't alright. The anniversary of her boyfriend's death, and she's sitting in the Leaky Cauldron, drunk off… "Luna, how many drinks have you had?"
She squints at him, and tries to remember how much of that thing she drank. Clumsily, she holds up one finger and giggles. She shouldn't be this drunk, she knows that much. "I'll be fine," she slurs, "I just need, I need…" She trails off. Why can't she remember what she needs? It was quite pressing before, over by her glass. She looks over and sees her trunk sitting there. That what she needs. She starts over. "I just need a place to stay. School year's over, and I can't go back to dad's. Every time I'm there, I think of how he betrayed Harry, and why, and that he only wanted to get me back, and then I think about Dean, and it hurts, Seamus, it hurts, and I have no place to stay, and, and, I just need another drink."
She gestures to the bartender, and when the drink is in front of her, she just drinks it quickly. She gets another, but before she can drink it, Seamus grabs the glass from her hand.
"Luna, have you ever gotten drunk before?" His words sound funny, all fuzzy and strange. She stares at the glass in his hand. She reaches toward it, and tries to grab it. She feels herself lose balance, and she sees him lurch forward, yet here she is, on the ground.
She is so drunk. He needs to intervene, and when she knocks back the second glass, and starts on the third, he steals it from her. She looks shocked at the new development and when he asks her if she had ever been drunk before, she just keep looking toward the liquor. She surprises him when she lunges toward the glass, and when she ends up on the floor, she looks just as surprised. He chugs the whiskey and picks her up. "Come on, Luna," he says, as he leads her back to her table. He picks up her trunk, and wraps his arm around her waist. He lives right down the street, and he briefly thinks it may be too far of a walk for her, and maybe they should just apparate, but he hasn't done magic for a year, and the fire whiskey is a bit stronger than he remembered, and those two facts combined with his failure of magic makes him afraid that they'll end up at Hogwarts, or worse, splinched. So he just wraps his arm more firmly around her, and picks up the trunk with the other. She slurs "Where are we going?" and he tells her that he is taking her back to his place. She quips "at least by me a drink first," and she delves into drunken giggles. She keeps it up for a block, when she suddenly goes limp in his arms. She's passed out, and he isn't sure how to get her home with all the muggles about, so he magic's her trunk into his flat, and he hopes that nothing is on fire. With the trunk gone, he is able to carry her the last block to his flat, where her trunk now sits in the foyer. He kicks it out of the way, and swears when his toe makes contact with the large box. She stirs in his arms, and when he looks down, he sees she is waking up. He sets her down on her own two feet, and she sways on the spot. He quickly wraps his arm around her again, and she smiles at him. She lifts one of her hands to his face, and caresses his skin. "Thank you, Seamus," she whispers to him, almost promising things that he knows she never would if she were a lot more sober. He draws in a deep breath, and tries to tell her to stop, that she doesn't want this, when he feels her lips on his, and oh God, it's the best thing he has ever felt, and he doesn't want to stop, but in the back of his mind, a tiny voice screams that she was Dean's girlfriend, and that she's just using him because he is there right now. He pulls away, face flaming from shame, because he just took advantage of a drunken girl, who just happens to be emotionally unavailable, not to mention, the girlfriend of his dead best friend. He looks down at her, and taps her shoulder. She's been struggling on the buttons of her shirt, trying to get them to open, and she doesn't look at him when he taps her. He clears his throat, and struggles to get the words out. "Uh, Luna?" At the sound of his voice saying her name, she looks up. Her eyes meet his, and even when they are clouded by alcohol and lust, she still seems to be looking straight into him. He clears his throat again, and she blinks. She looks a little more normal, well, as normal as Luna can look. She stumbles forward, and he wraps his arms around her. She leans her head on his chest, and whispers into the fabric, "I miss him" before she starts crying. He pulls her closer, and runs his fingers through her hair.
He holds her until her sobs reside, and her breathing evens out. She pulls away, wipes her nose with the back of her hand and says to him "I'm sorry Seamus. You've been so nice to me and all I've done is cry all over you."
He's not sure what to say to her, so he just pulls her close to him again, and they just stand there by his door, both thinking of the boy who didn't need to die. He is brought back to reality when she yawns, and leans her head against his chest. He unwraps his arms from around her, and starts to ask her if she wanted to stay, when he feels her thin fingers wrap around his wrist. "Please, let me stay. I don't think I can be alone tonight."
She isn't sure why she asks him to sleep with her, but she knows that if she is left alone tonight, terrible things might happen. Losing Dean last year is in no way worse than remembering the fact that she lost Dean last year. Coupled with the fact that she is drunk off her ass, she just can't handle it. She's been alone too much this year. She can't handle being alone tonight.
He isn't sure why he offers to let her stay with him. She throws a wrench is his carefully constructed schedule of sleep, work, drink, repeat. Some how, she tries to keep him sane, and away from alcohol, and he keeps her from really becoming Loony Lovegood. They talk about everything, everything accept the one thing that brings them together.
She's happier. It was harder at Hogwarts, but here, alone, with Seamus, it's easier. There are some days when she can't help but think about him, about the times they had at Shell Cottage. There are other days though, days when Seamus comes back from his job at the muggle factory, and his breath reeks of alcohol, and he just stares, almost like he's back there, seeing his friend lie on the ground, not seeing, not moving. They help each other, and when she gets the invitation to George Weasley's wedding to Angelina Johnson, she knows that they aren't the only ones trying to just get over someone.
Luna drags him to George Weasley's wedding, and he can't help but think that Dean will never have a wedding. She quickly finds Ginny Weasley, and he leans up next to the bar, drinking shot after shot. Somehow, George Weasley ends up next to him, drinking and staring across the tent. "Fred never wanted a big wedding. He told us that if he ever got married, he would lock Mum up in a cupboard and let everyone go as they were. He would have hated this." Seamus can't think of anything to say to the man next to him, so he takes a swig of the whiskey in his glass. He stares across the dance floor, and his eyes automatically find her, her blonde hair swinging as she twirls around with Ginny, seeming to be care free. George's eyes follow his to the girl, and he pats Seamus on the back. "I know what you're thinking. You're thinking it's going to help, but I can tell you right now, it won't. There will always be something between you, and there isn't anything you can do about it, because it's the thing that brought you together in the first place. Trust me, I know." George's eyes flicker to Angelina, and he drinks the rest of what is in his glass, then goes out next to his dead brother's girlfriend. And Seamus just stand by the bar, watch Luna dance like there is nothing bad in the world, and at that moment, Seamus could almost believe that to be true.
I'm not sure how I feel about this, but I have been working on it since August, so it needs to be posted. I'll probably write a second chapter, but I've been wrong before. so yeah. Please review if you see any issues, which you will. Thanks.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. They are all property of JK Rowling.