So this is my first story on this site, so out of fear I'm gonna make it a one-shot. I did read over it a few times, but it is one a.m. here so I apologize for any grammar/spelling errors. Reviews are helpful, but if you're going to criticize, please make it constructive so that I may grow as a writer.
Disclaimer: I do not own 'The Divergent Series' by Veronica Roth or 'Colder Weather by Zac Brown Band.
She'd trade Colorado if he'd take her with him
Closes the door before the winter lets the cold in
Tris shivered, standing in the doorway, and watched Tobias get into his truck. When he shut the door, she stepped back into the house on Colorado avenue, and closed the door in an attempt to block the chill from the December evening from chasing out more of the heat being provided by the fireplace a room over. She went to the window to watch his movements through the glass windshield at the back of the truck, trying to think of something, anything, to say to him, but could come up with nothing. What could she say to the man who had her heart, that would make him stay? That would make him change his mind?
Nothing. Because she knew, he wasn't coming back.
She wonders if her love was strong enough to make him stay
She's answered by the tail lights, shining through the window pane.
It hurt Tobias to start the truck and drive away, but in his mind, he knew it needed to be done. He'd given her an ultimatum, all those months ago, and yet she still put her life in danger. Over her brother no less.
Upon returning from his successful mission to appease one of parents into a cease fire, he'd immediately been met with a tear-stained Cara, and frantic Caleb. They had tried to explain to him what had happened, but only a few fragments of it had registered in his mind, "Tris has been shot," "hurt," "lost a lot of blood," "still alive"
The last two words had snapped him out of his stupor, and, without permission from his head, his feet were running, pushing the ground in an attempt to get to the infirmary faster. His first sight of her, pale on the bed, with so many wires attached to her, had made him sick. The second time her saw her, after a very angry Christina had told him to "Pull yourself together, goddammit! She needs you right now!" He went in to the room, only to be met with news that he feared the most.
She had 'sacrificed' herself. Again. He turned on his heel and walked out.
He said I wanna see you again, but I'm stuck in colder weather
Maybe tomorrow will be better, can I call you then?
A month and a half had gone by before she opened her eyes again, and while she's not quite sure what she expected to see, a blubbering, tear-stained Christina had not been it. 7 weeks and one lengthy explanation after that, she was released to go home, with only an 'as needed' pain medication. And in all that time, Tobias never came to see her.
According to Christina, his first time, had been his last time, although he had taken up lurking in and around the infirmary. Her estranged friend had tried several times to get him to "just talk to her" but, to no avail.
When he finally did see her, however, just so happened to be her first night in a new house on Colorado Avenue. The fireplace had finally started to create some warmth more than a few feet from its flame when the knock at the door came.
Grumbling to herself about Christina not needing to check on her every hour, she flung open the door, only to be surprised by a very familiar pair of blue eyes. Her shock was short lived, as he opened his mouth to say the two words she'd hoped she'd never hear from him.
"I'm leaving."
She said "You're a rambling man, you ain't ever gonna change,"
"You got a gypsy soul to blame and you were born for leavin,"
"Born for leavin…"
Tobias did his best to explain that a little separation would be good for both of them, and that, in a few years, when they had both grown more, he would come back. But it was almost impossible to get his point across over her shouting of "We've been separated for three months, what more do you want?! You never came to see me anyway, and when you do you leave?!"
When he had been thinking over how he would go about telling her earlier that day, he promised himself that he would not kiss her. He broke that promise when she said the word 'leave'.
In a blindness of passion, she had lead him backwards into the room with the fireplace, and he had laid her down in front of it, reigniting the passion that had came over them that last night before shit hit the fan, before Tris almost died saving her brother, before Tobias trusted her for the last time.
After, they just laid beside each other, speaking no words, until Tris broke the silence with a sob, grasping at him and burying her head into his chest.
"Please don't leave me"
At a truck stop diner just outside of Lincoln,
The night was black at the coffee he was drinkin'
As Tobias gazed out into the darkness, he couldn't help but replay those last precious moments with her. After all, that had been nearly a year ago, and his memories were all he had.
At the sound of her gasped words, he had remembered why he had came, and quickly gotten up and dressed, preparing to leave. After her initial words, Tris didn't make a sound as he gathered his things, only gazed at him from her spot on the floor, her tears drying on her cheeks. She'd pulled on the baggy shirt she'd had on when he came in, and followed him to the door, still keeping her stony silence. She'd stood there till he had shut the drivers side door, and then disappeared inside.
He took that as a sign that he had no reason to come back.
In his waitress' eyes he sees, the same ole light shining,
He thinks of Colorado, and the girl he left behind him…
His waitress was very intent on getting him to try more than just their coffee, and he finally obliged to some cake just to get her to go away. He could hardly look at her. Her blonde hair, slim figure, and sassy attitude just oozed Tris. It just made him hurt more than he already had. He avoided looking at her when she brought him his cake and check, opting to stare out the window instead. He heard a very distinct 'rude' as she walked away. Not that he cared that much, his mind was on happier times, on a certain initiate who had jumped first…
He said I wanna see you again, but I'm stuck in colder weather
Maybe tomorrow will be better, can I call you then?
Tris cursed slightly under her breath as she read the agreement former Erudites had written up. In technical terms, the ones Tris had been corresponding with had done nothing in the attack on Abnegation, nor any of the fighting that ensued, but that was her issue. They had done nothing. Even knowing about such an attack in Dauntless would be grounds for treason, and you would have been kicked out or killed sooner than you could say the word. But this wasn't Dauntless, and the former Erudite members weren't Erudite, they were just people who had done nothing to stop a massacre. As much as Tris didn't like the thought of them sleeping or reading their hydroponics books while hundreds of Abnegation died, she couldn't go against Mayor Johanna's big rule, 'no person shall be prejudiced against because of race, disability, or former faction.'
When she was first offered a job at the mayors office, her instinct had been so say no and turn her back to it, but some goading from Zeke and Christina had finally convinced her that 'it would just be so good for the citizens if they saw their savior attempting to rebuild their city'.
What they had failed to mention was how much fucking paper work was involved in it. She threw down the agreement and rubbed at her eyes, waiting nothing more than to go home and cuddle up in bed and let the dreams take over. The sweet dreams of Tobias, what could have been if there was never a war, what should have been after. Sometimes, he would come back to her, other times, he never left at all. It was all just part of the routine she'd put together to keep herself from falling apart. She was snapped out of her thinking by her desk phone ringing. She picked up the receiver and did her best to sound cheerful.
"Mayor Johanna's office."
"Tris."
"Tobias?"
Click.
Well its a winding road, when you're in the lost and found,
You're a lover, I'm a runner, and we go round and round
He had just wanted to hear her voice. After two years, he'd forgotten what it sounded like, and just wanted to hear it again. Even if she never wanted to see him again, that was ok, but he just needed her voice sometimes.
Today was one of those times.
He was drunk off his ass, wandering around some two shit town in a place formerly Oklahoma, but was now just part of the barely-civilized territory of the governments, he had stumbled upon a bar, and it being two years to the day since he last saw her, he decided a drink was in order. But when you're drinking alone, its never just one drink is it?
After he'd had as many as he needed to work up the courage to call the number Zeke had told him all those months ago, he went to the phone sitting at a table in the corner, and dialed. She'd said four words, which was ironic if he gave himself tim to think about it, and fourteen letters. His liquid courage had gone, and he could feel it coming back up, as he ran to the restroom.
And I love you but I leave you,
I don't want you but I need you,
You know its you who calls me back here, baby
Tobias banged his head against the steering wheel. He was sitting at an intersection at one of the old major highways that used to crisscross this land. Now, they were rarely used, as people used the new airplanes, which were cheaper and quicker anyhow. At this particular intersection, he had come across a faded green sign, its words barely legible after years of no maintenance and exposure to the elements.
North Chicago
East Las Vegas
Tobias had planned on going to Las Vegas. Hell, before this sign he didn't even know this highway led to home. But seeing that sign, and having been away for five years had left him indecisive and upset. He could continue on the highway, go to Las Vegas and live there for a few months as planned, or he could go home. To the place he grew up, where he found his identity, to his best friend Zeke, to her.
Tobias hadn't seen Tris since the night he left, and hadn't heard her voice since that drunk phone call three years ago. And yes, it had been him who had decided to leave, and yes, she did break the ultimatum he gave her, but that didn't mean he didn't miss her. He had never wanted to leave, but being in the city, being with her without being with her, the thought alone had driven him to leave. But now, five years down the road, would she forgive him? Would he forgive her? Was there a chance in hell that they could pick up the pieces and try again?
He sighed. Not that it mattered. Her silence to him when he was leaving her had already told him that she didn't care. Never mind the initial cry that had started his hurried departure, as that had simply been an attempt to spare his heart from further injury than the one it already bore from her decidedly suicidal nature.
But still, despite all this, he missed her. Terribly. And anyway, Chicago was his home wasn't it? And after five years, he was tired of living elsewhere. He reached around the steering wheel, clicked off his turn signal, and headed north.
Oh I wanna see you again
But I'm stuck in colder weather,
Maybe tomorrow will be better, can I call you then?
Cause I'm a ramblin' man, I ain't ever gonna change,
I got a gypsy soul to blame and I was born for leavin'
Born for leavin'…
Tris was walking home, skimming through some files in her mind, but mainly thinking of her bed, and the warmness it offered against the chilly November air. She sniffled and pulled her coat tighter around her as she rounded he corner to Colorado Avenue. She could see her house, dark, except for the fire that she never let go out since that night, even in the summer. She would simply open a window in that room to keep the heat out, and close the door, blocking most of the heat from the rest of the house.
She wasn't sure why whenever light that fire go out, and it hadn't even occurred to her that she didn't let it go out until Christina had pointed it out to her one day three years ago, not too long after the mysterious phone call from what had sounded like Tobias. Christina liked to call it 'the fire of perpetual hope' saying it symbolizes her hope for Tobias coming back to her or some shit. Tris had thought about it since that day, and had never reached a conclusion herself, but despite that, couldn't bring herself to put it out.
This particular night was chilly, so she wandered into the room with the fireplace, intent on putting more wood on and stirring it up a bit. She absentmindedly did this, letting her eyes make images out of the flames. She and Tobias dancing, running together, making love, simply holding hands. It didn't much matter to her what it was, as long as they were together, and not with the great distance that separated them in the real world. Hell, Tris didn't know where he was ninety nine percent of the time, opting instead to focus on her work, instead of a man who had made it pretty damn clear that he was never coming back either to her or for her. She sighed as she set the poker down, and headed up the stairs, never once noticing the ember that had landed near the curtains.
When I close my eyes I see you, no matter where I am
I can smell your perfume through these whispering pines
Tobias was staying in a hotel as close as he could get to Colorado Avenue, and was restlessly pacing back and forth across the room, going over thousands of scenarios about how tomorrow could go, and how he would handle each and every one of them. No matter how she reacted to seeing him, he had to let her know he was back in town, and that he was here to stay. When his mind was finally satisfied, he laid down to sleep, letting his eyes close, and dream of Tris, of her soft hair and how it looked as if it had gold threaded through it in the mornings. How her lips were always chapped, and tasted like metal, but it was something that he had secretly loved. How badly it turned him on when she bit those lips was a subject he only let his mind breach for all of thirty seconds before he forced himself to think of something else. The sweet smell of her skin came next. It wasn't perfume, because, really, who had time or resources to keep up with perfume during war? No, it was all her, and that's what thrilled him the most about it. It was uniquely her and no one could replicate it, no matter how hard they tried.
How she had reacted to him kissing that sensitive spot below and a little behind her ear was what had him nodding off to sleep, only to be woken moments later by the wail of fire sirens. He pulled his pillow over his head, in an attempt to drown them out until they passed, and it wasn't until ten minutes later that they weren't passing, and had stopped somewhere close.
Wandering out into the hall, he ran into the elderly lady who had checked him in, and it took all of two questions to figure out exactly which house was on fire.
I'm with your ghost again, it's a shame about the weather,
But I know soon we'll be together, and I can't wait till then,
I can't wait till then…
Tobias was 83 years old. It was hard to believe when he thought about it, but he tried not to think about it. He thought instead, of his godchildren, and their children. He never did get around to having children of his own, and he was far too old for it now, but that was okay. His many godchildren and their children had been enough to keep him busy. He thought about the city that those precious children grew up in, and how he would have hated seeing them grow up in the city that he did. In 60 years, the city had done much. Rebuilding to be better, greater than it once was, becoming a haven for all who needed it, and a home for all who wanted it. It was always Tobias' home. It always would be his home, no matter what, which is how he explained it to anybody who asked why he never left. And it was true, in part, at least, five years away had given him all the exploring he needed, and he had opted to stay right in Chicago for the rest of his days, in a little house on Colorado Avenue…
That had been the other reason he stayed. Her. Tris. But, if he thought about it, since she jumped into his life, she was the reason he did a lot of things. She was the reason he stayed in Dauntless, the reason he appealed to his mother for a cease-fire, the reason he left Chicago, the reason he came back, and the reason why he never left again. After the house she had been living in burned down, he had rebuilt one for her, complete with a wood burning fireplace that never went out. Of course, this one had a invisible protective shield over it, preventing anything over the temperature of 105 degrees fahrenheit from escaping. He likes to think she would have liked that.
Of course, he could never be sure. That night 60 years ago had burned her out of the world, out of his life. He buried her in the Abnegation cemetery, but kept a picture of her in the house he had rebuilt, just a screen from one of the many cameras at the Bureau, it showed her jumping that first day. Her hair coming lose from its bun, and a grin splitting her face. Some parts of it were warped and distorted from his tears, but that was alright. He kept them off her face. Those first few years were the hardest for him. It was worse than when he was away because at least then she was still here, but now she was just gone and the thought alone made him so so so angry. At her, for leaving him when he had decided to come back, at the house, for failing to do its job and protect her, at any deity he could think of, for taking her before she reached the age of 23. But eventually, that anger turned to guilt, which turned to loving remembrance, which he held on to.
Even at the persistence of the late Mayor Johanna to join her office, he declined, and instead lived out his years doing odd jobs, picking up trash, mowing lawns, fixing roofs. Skills that he had picked up in his five years out in the world that had gotten him from place to place, now provided him with the means to stay. He had thought about her often while he did these odd jobs, sometimes wondering if he even should stay, if she would even want him to stay, but whatever answer the Tris of Tobias' came up with would always put a lump in his throat, so he would push it to the back of his mind, and continue to work. Work was how he lived, it was how he continued, and in a city ravaged by war, there was plenty of it to keeping satisfyingly distracted.
The day had started out simply enough. Wake up, shower, get dressed, give Tris a kiss, and be on his way. He had simply been painting a house. Up on his ladder, with his brush, when his mind wandered to a certain blue eyed blonde, as it usually did with mundane tasks like these. He was thinking of all the private moments they had shared, one in particular, just before they went out of the city limits for the first time, an 18 year old Tobias, with a 16 year old Tris, pressing her against a wall, his lips on hers, his hands in her hair. He lifted her up, and took a step back to adjust his weight, and… Nothing.
The present Tobias tumbled off is ladder, hitting the ground. Had he been a younger man, the fall would have merely bruised him, but aged bones are brittle, and the cold December air did nothing to help, as it simply made him bulkier, and less in control of his own weight. A fall of 25 feet was later determined the cause of death for Tobias 'Four' Eaton, who had died serving his city. In the city of Chicago, the people mourned, losing the great Dauntless prodigy who had so valiantly defended his city in his youth, had rebuilt it in his prime, and had maintained it in his old age.
But Tobias didn't mind all that much, because for the first time in 65 years, he saw a petite blonde, and for the first time in 65 years, he wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair while she nuzzled hers into his chest. And in his first moment of death, he'd decided two things. That he'd never been happier, and that he was finally sure that the colder weather was behind them.
