It began with the forging of the great Things.
Three Things were given to the elves; Unbeatable, smartest and the best in bed of all beings.
Seven to the dwarf lords, smelly little men of great mountain halls.
And nine. Nine to the men. I bet the forgers of the Things faces' were red after that slip-up.
For these Things were powerful, but must be used wisely, because a lot of really bad stuff would happen. But, something bad happened anyway, just the piss the thing-bearers off.
In the land of Boredor, in the fires of Mount Disaster, the dark lord Sadron forged in secret a master Thing to control all others.
And into this Thing he poured his hard laws on uniform, his hatred of all creatures, and his will to dominate all of a rather big area.
One Thing to rule them all.
One by one, free people in Centre Earth fell to the power of the Thing.
But there were some who resisted.
A not-so-last alliance of Men and Elves marched against the armies of Boredor. And on the slopes of Mount Disaster, they fought for the freedom of Centre Earth.
Victory was near. But the power of the Thing could not be undone.
It was in this moment, when all hope had faded, that Dismildur, son of the king, took up his father's sword.
Sadron, the enemy of the almost-free people of Centre Earth, was hurt very very badly and ran home crying.
The Thing passed to Dismildur, who had this one chance to destroy evil for a very long time.
But he didn't. So the thing betrayed Dismildur to his death.
And some Things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend; legend became a story told to children to stop them staying up late. And a very long time later the Thing passed out of all knowledge. Until, when chance came, it got pissed off from being alone and found the creature Sorebum, who took it deep into the tunnels of the Musky Mountains. And there it consumed him.
The Thing brought to Sorebum unnatural long life. For a lot of years it poisoned his mind. And in Sorebum's Sty it waited.
Suddenly, it abandoned Sorebum. But something happened then, that the Thing did not intend. Some guy picked it up.
A hobbit. Dildo Shaggins of the Shiter.
For the time would soon come when hobbits would shape the fortunes of quite a few people.
Three Things were given to the elves; Unbeatable, smartest and the best in bed of all beings.
Seven to the dwarf lords, smelly little men of great mountain halls.
And nine. Nine to the men. I bet the forgers of the Things faces' were red after that slip-up.
For these Things were powerful, but must be used wisely, because a lot of really bad stuff would happen. But, something bad happened anyway, just the piss the thing-bearers off.
In the land of Boredor, in the fires of Mount Disaster, the dark lord Sadron forged in secret a master Thing to control all others.
And into this Thing he poured his hard laws on uniform, his hatred of all creatures, and his will to dominate all of a rather big area.
One Thing to rule them all.
One by one, free people in Centre Earth fell to the power of the Thing.
But there were some who resisted.
A not-so-last alliance of Men and Elves marched against the armies of Boredor. And on the slopes of Mount Disaster, they fought for the freedom of Centre Earth.
Victory was near. But the power of the Thing could not be undone.
It was in this moment, when all hope had faded, that Dismildur, son of the king, took up his father's sword.
Sadron, the enemy of the almost-free people of Centre Earth, was hurt very very badly and ran home crying.
The Thing passed to Dismildur, who had this one chance to destroy evil for a very long time.
But he didn't. So the thing betrayed Dismildur to his death.
And some Things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend; legend became a story told to children to stop them staying up late. And a very long time later the Thing passed out of all knowledge. Until, when chance came, it got pissed off from being alone and found the creature Sorebum, who took it deep into the tunnels of the Musky Mountains. And there it consumed him.
The Thing brought to Sorebum unnatural long life. For a lot of years it poisoned his mind. And in Sorebum's Sty it waited.
Suddenly, it abandoned Sorebum. But something happened then, that the Thing did not intend. Some guy picked it up.
A hobbit. Dildo Shaggins of the Shiter.
For the time would soon come when hobbits would shape the fortunes of quite a few people.