The Stars That Shine Above Us
Fuuma knows that sometimes, there are things out there he cannot wish for.
He knows that wishing for them would require him to pay a great price.
A price which he is sure he would not be able to pay.
But,
As he watches the pair of vampire twins being swept away by magic which will take them away from this Tokyo wasteland, and he focuses particularly on the one with the amethyst eyes, he could not help but to wonder.
Could, for once, he wish for something he is not sure he could have?
The next world Fuuma lands in is a cold one. Snow covers his field of vision and it seems to stretch on for hours. He trudges through the snow storm and thanks his lucky stars when he manages to find shelter. He starts a fire. He eats. He waits for morning.
He allows his thoughts to drift.
"-it's so cold, isn't it?" A chuckle. A kick to the ribs. A dodge.
"What does it matter?" An angry hiss. Livid amethyst eyes. A punch to the jaw.
"...I wonder…" He dodges another kick and deftly grabs Kamui's wrist and slams him against the concrete wall. He hears a pained hiss and he leans in, his breath washing over Kamui's ear.
"I wonder if anyone ever warms up your heart, Kamui?"
"Shut up." The angry reply only makes him smile.
Fuuma snaps out of his reverie when the cold finally goes through him, chilling him to the bone. He grabs his jacket tighter and fights the fatigue that threatens to overcome him. Even in the midst of the chattering teeth and the shivering, he still manages a smile.
"Did anyone ever warm up your heart, Kamui?" he whispers.
He is idly sitting in a café time, sipping a cup of coffee as his latest search continues. This world is a peaceful one, similar to Watanuki's world as well as his own. He peers from the top of his sunglasses and spies on two children playing outside.
One of them has a striking image of Kamui, as the child giggles at something a little girl said to him. The mini Kamui blushes prettily and runs off, holding the little girl's hand as he does.
The light that glints of Fuuma's sunglasses hides the fond look in his eyes.
"You're awkward around children, aren't you?"
Fuuma fails to muffle his laughter at the sight of Kamui, currently looking uncomfortable around the children of the Tower, who do not recognize him as the fearsome leader of the Tokyo Government Building but rather as another adult, surrounding him. His twin, Subaru, merely smiles softly at Kamui's helpless expression.
"Shut up," Kamui growls under his breath, soft enough that only Subaru and Fuuma heard it.
"But you look like you'll make a great dad, Kamui," Fuuma teases with a grin. He looks on fondly as a boy attaches himself to Kamui's pants, looking entirely at ease. "They really seem to like you," Subaru admits.
Kamui blushes and looks away, meeting Fuuma's eyes as he does. The hunter is looking at him with a gentle expression, his smile soft and his eyes looking at the boy at Kamui's leg.
In a way, he looks almost sad.
"You're such an idiot," Kamui says.
And sure enough, Fuuma smiles again, the sad look disappearing completely from his eyes.
"Papa!"
Fuuma takes a glance beside him, watching a little girl pulling her father's hand, smiling widely while she talks. The father listens with a fond expression on his face. He laughs lightly and pats his daughter's head before making his way to the counter to order some ice cream. One for the little girl, one for him.
Fuuma hums in his cup of coffee.
"You do make a great father, Kamui," he says softly to himself before leaving the place, leaving some money beside the empty cup.
The next world goes by the name of Rophelia, just like the name of the magical stone that protects the place. It is a rural world, with trees replacing buildings and rivers replacing vehicles as mode of transportations.
Fuuma is nursing his wounds, wincing slightly when the water makes the scratch on his arm sting. He wipes his brow with a handkerchief and glances at his bag.
A red jewel shaped like a rose glows dimly, nestled between the blankets in his bag. A precious healing jewel, or so what Watanuki tells him. He goes through a lot of trouble getting it.
Including falling off a cliff.
Fuuma watches as some of the blood from his wound trickles down his arm and into the river. The metallic scent of it hits him and he grins to himself, as if enjoying some private joke.
"You're bleeding on purpose," accuses Kamui, glaring at the hunter.
Fuuma touches his bleeding forehead almost absently. "Why would I do that?" he asks, his tone seemingly bored. He is not, of course.
"You know what I am," Kamui spits. "You're trying to distract me."
"For the record, Kamui, you did sort threw me headfirst against the concrete wall," Fuuma points out. "Anyone could have bled after that."
Kamui swipes his claws at him, scratching Fuuma's cheek. As blood streams from his cheek, Fuuma laughs, his tone somewhat mischievous.
"If I didn't know better, I might have assumed that you're the one who's purposely making me bleed."
The water stings his wound again, but he ignores the pain and instead focuses his attention on the pale glow of the jewel in his bag. He traces the surface non-committedly. He sighs.
He looks up to the sky.
"Kamui," is all he says, this time.
When he lands in Clow Country, searching for a crest, he finds himself comforted by the familiar face of Princess Sakura, who is already waiting for him when he arrives. She tilts her head thoughtfully, her face lit up by a gentle smile.
"Fuuma-san," she greets.
Her face, though still shines with the innocence of youth, is slightly worn by the weariness. Her green eyes are wise beyond her years, caused by all the experiences she has gone through, both joyous and painful. She grips Fuuma's hands and helps him out of the lake.
"Long time no see, Sakura-hime," Fuuma returns her greeting cheerfully. "How have you been?"
Sakura merely nods. "I have been fine. You?"
"Never better," Fuuma grins, giving her a thumb's up.
The princess looks at him momentarily, something flashing across her face, and just before Fuuma is about to ask, she shakes her head and smiles.
"Come, I shall show you the way to the castle," she says. Fuuma follows, wringing his wet shirt as he does. Sakura gives him a rueful look. "I'll give some nice dry clothes as soon as we get there, alright?"
Fuuma nods. "Thank you."
He stays there in the castle for several days. He takes a liking to the place, but perhaps it is just the lively ambiance that makes him feel right at home.
He leans back against the chair one afternoon, watching Sakura interacting with her older brother, Crown Prince and soon-to-be-king of Clow Country, Touya. She is yelling at him and Touya simply smirks back at her.
"Monster," he calls her and Sakura fumes rather cutely.
"You're getting slow," Fuuma comments. He has Kamui pinned to the wall, holding his wrist firmly. The vampire glares up at him, obviously livid at being caught.
"You're an asshole," Kamui snaps, struggling, always struggling.
Fuuma laughs lightly. "Your insults are getting thin, Kamui." He leans in and whispers in Kamui's ear. "It sounds like you don't mean it."
Kamui's only response is to kick him in the ribs. Fuuma chokes and coughs, letting go of Kamui to clutch his sides. In the midst of the coughing, his eyes meet Kamui's.
They shine with playfulness, like that of a child's.
"How mean," is all he says before he makes a grab for Kamui's throat.
"Onii-sama, you're so insufferable!" Sakura huffs before storming out of the room. Fuuma allows himself to laugh and Sakura shoots him a look, making him laugh louder. He laughs until tears form at the corners of his eyes. Sakura pouts and crosses her arms. Touya gives him an odd look.
Fuuma could not blame him. He does not even know why he is laughing so much.
Sakura's eyes meet his and annoyance shines in them. Fuuma stops laughing.
Now he remembers.
"Fuuma-san?"
Fuuma turns his head to see Sakura sitting beside him on the steps of the castle.
"It's late. Why are you still up?" Fuuma asks. Sakura responds by looking at the night sky above them.
"The stars…they are beautiful, aren't they?" Sakura says seemingly out of nowhere.
"Hm…I suppose they are," Fuuma answers, a bit thoughtfully as he does.
"They look the same, you know."
"The same?"
"The stars. In different worlds, the stars look the same. They shine just as brightly as the ones here."
Fuuma slants a look at the princess beside him. Her expression is wistful and she is gripping her hands, clutching them against her chest. Her smile, though gentle, is sad. So terribly sad.
"It's nice to know…that no matter how far people are separated, they will be connected by the same stars at night," she says softly. She closes her eyes momentarily, clutching her hands tighter. Fuuma leaves her to it.
The minutes pass by silently.
"Do you miss anyone, Fuuma-san?"
The princess's question startles him and the hunter stares at her blankly for a moment, his cheerful mask gone. Sakura is looking at him evenly.
"Why do you ask, Sakura-hime?" Fuuma answers at last, smiling cheerfully; always cheerfully.
"Because of your smile."
The very smile returns, wavering slightly but does not drop from the hunter's face. There is a shadow that flits past his face and for a tiny second, something flashes in his eyes before it disappears.
"My smile?" he repeats, smiling wider.
Sakura looks at him unwaveringly and Fuuma finds himself slightly unsettled by the look she gives him. It is as if she could see right through him.
He is not used to feeling vulnerable.
"You never seem to mean it. It doesn't…" Sakura trails off, thinking of the right word to say. Fuuma waits. "…quite reach your eyes," Sakura finishes at last. Her gaze turns sad again. "It reminds me of Fai-san's."
Fuuma says nothing. His grin never wavers. He wonders detachedly whether his grin would stay on his face forever.
"People usually…smile like that when they miss someone," Sakura adds quietly. She closes her eyes. "It acts like a shield to protect their heart. A mask to protect the thing underneath." She looks at him again, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "It hurts, doesn't it? Missing someone."
Fuuma thinks he hears something shatters. Briefly, with some sort of dark humor, he wonders if it is his heart.
Instead, he lets his smile to soften around the edges, reaching out to ruffle the princess's hair. He looks at the stars above them. A pair of them attract him. They look like eyes.
Eyes that are currently looking at him, from somewhere far away and unreachable.
"I wonder," he says.
"Would you pay for the price of your feelings?"
"If there is a price?"
"…if there is a price."
The smile is sad. He looks as if he is about to cry. Funny, he could not remember the last time he cried.
"Who knows," he answers.
The answer holds no promise. No resolution. It does not decide a future.
The answer is heartbreaking in ways he could not understand.
Fuuma wakes up to the sound of the church bell rung from somewhere in the distance. He yawns and rubs his face.
His hands are wet when he withdraws them.
How peculiar.
As he sits by the balcony, watching the Clow marketplace below him, he remembers something his older brother said to him, several worlds back.
"Nii-san."
"Fuuma."
"It's been a while, hasn't it?"
"Hm."
Their smiles are similar. Coolly collected and friendly only on the surface. Just like all the ones they have shared throughout their lives.
"Still chasing him?"
"I won't be here if I wasn't."
There is silence.
"Did you want to say something to me, little brother?"
"Do I?"
A heavy sigh. "I have no time for these sorts of games."
"Would you give me a straight answer if I ask?"
"I'll answer the question as I see fit."
A humorless chuckle. "But of course, Seishirou-nii-san. Just like Mother did." There is a benign smile. But it is not warm. Never warm.
"Ah."
"…Do you ever miss anyone?"
A pause. "Why do you ask?"
"You cannot answer a question with another, Nii-san," Fuuma whines playfully. "That is hardly fair."
"…Missing someone has never been necessary for me. Don't you remember what Mother taught us?"
"Emotions are for those who want to be vulnerable, I know." There is another grin. "Ah, but Nii-san, you're chasing Subaru-san passionately. Isn't passion a powerful emotion?"
A smirk. "Passion can be a dangerous thing, Fuuma. I could be using it to my advantage."
"And you wonder why Subaru-san is always never within your reach and why Kamui hates you so much."
"Hm." A glance at his way. "Do you miss anyone, Fuuma?"
A pause.
A cheerful smile. "Missing someone leaves me vulnerable. And I don't want that now, do I?"
A grin. "I suppose not."
Fuuma chuckles to himself. The laugh holds no warmth and it is with a strange sort of humor. It is like laughing at one own pain.
"It's a bit too late for that," he whispers.
"I got the crest."
"So you did."
"Sorry I didn't contact you for so long, Watanuki-kun. It hasn't been easy."
"How are you doing it now?"
"Mokona."
"Ah. That means…"
"Syaoran-kun and the others are back."
"Ah…Sakura-chan must be happy."
"Very."
"Are you?"
"What?"
"Are you happy, Fuuma-san?"
"Why wouldn't I be? I found what you wanted. After a very tiring week, I might add."
"You know that's not what I meant."
Fuuma stops and turns his head to the side. The princess, for the first time in a while, looks utterly happy. Her eyes shine with pure joy as she sits beside Syaoran, who returns her happiness with his own.
"I know."
Fuuma has a dream that night, his final night in Clow.
It is a fast dream.
He sees flashes of purple and gold, feels a sharp sting on his cheek and receives a blow to the shoulder. The pain feels real. There is a snarl.
For some reason, the dream feels like a happy dream to him.
He is getting ready to leave that morning, packing his meager belongings into his rucksack. Watanuki has requested another object for him; a map, this time located somewhere in the ancient ruins in the world he is about to depart to.
Which ruins, of course, Watanuki never bothers to say. Fuuma lets out an amused bark of a laugh. That boy, still so young, is wise beyond his years. And he is starting to act like Yuuko with each passing day.
Sakura bids him goodbye with a sad smile. Syaoran gives him a nod of acknowledgement, thanking him for taking care of Sakura. Fuuma waves his hand dismissively. He did not do anything, he says.
Fai pats him on the shoulder, Kurogane just graces him with his silent presence and Mokona offers him a tiny hug, wrapping its paws around Fuuma's knuckles, never quite able to reach all around.
"See you later," he says, as a goodbye that is not quite one.
He exits the castle, not quite missing the quiet look Syaoran gives him. Of course. The boy understands him, after all.
He knows what it's like to miss someone.
It is quiet when he feels it. The breeze that caresses his cheek like a gentle greeting.
When he sees the sky rippling above him, he finds himself holding his breath.
"You."
"Me."
There is a punch. A scratch here and there. He avoids a punch. He grabs the wrist.
He pulls him close.
He feels warmth spreading through him for the first time in a while.
"I miss you, too."
A/N: Been such a long time I wrote an anime story. Thought I'd revisit this section. What do you think?
Reviews are lovely and appreciated.