What if Ulquiorra had killed Ichigo? What if Aizen Sosuke was successful? What if Shiori fell in love with Ulquiorra? Retelling of my story Decode, with a different ending and pairing.

One

We, met for the first time years ago

Death is a part of life. Death is the darkness to the light of life; it is the yin to the yang, the earth to the sky, the water to the fire. Life can surely not exist without death. To die means you were truly alive- that is the truth. Death still hurts though. Is it more painful than life? I don't know. But how could life possibly go on after such an event? After you lose your most important person, how can life be so selfish as to… carry on?

Stood here, alone in the cemetery and staring at my mother's gravestone. Dressed in a black dress and a hat, hands held in front of me from putting down the bouquet of flowers. The weather doesn't even have the courtesy to rain and the birds aren't kind enough to stop singing. I have been stood here for the past few hours; I don't want to go home, it's dark, cold and lonely there.

The place is dead, and that's not a pun. The only other person I'd seen is a boy from my class at school. He came briefly with two young girls to put flowers on another headstone. He noticed me, but he said nothing. I think his name is Ichigo, but I'm not sure. He's friends with Rangiku; a bubbly woman who is persistent in trying to get me to be her friend. I don't do friends; that's why I'm alone. My mother didn't do friends; that's why I'm the only one who cares that she's gone.

My mother was sick; so you think I would have been ready for this but truthfully I had convinced myself that she would be okay. It had never occurred to me that she wouldn't simply just stay ill, the thought of her death had never popped into my head once until she was just that; dead. Gone.

Being so occupied in my thoughts, I didn't really register the light sprinkle of rain coming over until an umbrella held over my head stopped the coolness against my skin. My first thought was it was Rangiku, but if it was her she wouldn't be able to stop herself from saying anything, plus the scent wasn't right. I don't know what compelled Ichigo to act on this simple act of kindness, but it was probably what I needed; some warmth in a place that was a harsh winter.

We stood awkwardly and quietly for a long time, the rain got heavier for a period, but it left just as quickly and Ichigo put the umbrella down with a sigh.

"It's almost five."

Was it? Time carried on still?

"You're cold, you haven't eaten."

Sherlock was spot on.

"You at least need to get warm even if you don't eat. Come on."

He grabbed my hand and led me off before I could put up a fight, but honestly the idea didn't even come to my mind. I didn't want to protest; I wanted someone to reach out and show they cared. I didn't expect it in this form or this person, but the warmth coming from him reminded me that it really wasn't me that died.

"Ichigo… do you think she's happy now? She was in so much pain… was I selfish? I don't want her to be g-gone but… maybe she was in so much pain because… because I couldn't let her go."

"She's your mother, why wouldn't she try and stay alive for you? She would have preferred to be in pain than see you in pain. I guess she figured since you had friends now… you wouldn't be alone. It's not your fault; you're not selfish."

Ichigo was a peculiar person. I had barely spoken to him and yet to act out with such a warm heart, such warm words and even call me a friend… I didn't deserve any of it; but it made me happy. Even if the last place I wanted to be was in his house, which was adjoined to the clinic my mother had spent the last week of her life at, it was homely. Rukia—a girl in my class too, was staying with them but apparently most of his other friends had come for a visit too. Rangiku was slobbed out on the couch, eating crackers with Orihime and Ichigo's youngest sister. The others—Ikkaku, Yumichika and Renji seemed to be having some sort of competition on a games console with Ichigo's other sister, and Toshirou was sat staring at them all like they were morons. Isshin, Ichigo's dad, was nowhere to be seen.

The loudness died a little when Ichigo yelled he was home, and even moreso when they noticed me trailing behind him and lingering at the door with the excuse of taking off my shoes.

Rangiku was the first to open her mouth but Ichigo spoke over her. "Shiori is staying for dinner."

There was something… strange about the gathering though. Apart from his sisters they all seemed to be in on some secret. Sometimes they would exchange glances with each other, sometimes a few of them would whisper but then go quiet. I probably shouldn't have been so paranoid but what else is one supposed to think?

The only reason I stayed after dinner was because I didn't want to be alone at home. It felt almost like I was using them, but it was taking my mind off things and… I really did feel happy. Rangiku even braided my hair into some crazy style I could never do on my own and I even found myself laughing when Renji freaked out because of a spider. It was like the rest of the day hadn't happened and I knew as soon as I was home that I would remember that it had happened and that life did go on, even though I wished it didn't.

We all ended up asleep together in the living room though, I didn't have to go home until the following morning. I don't know if it was because of how exhausted I was or because I felt safe and happy but I hadn't slept so well in such a long time.

It was surprising though, when I awoke to find only Ichigo's sisters and Rangiku there. It must have only been early in the morning, but there was no trace of anyone else at all. Rangiku told me they were all involved with some sort of 'after school club' which was having a meeting that day and they were all there. I didn't really believe her—what type of group would meet on a Sunday and so early in the morning?

It was that morning that everything changed.

The first thing that changed was just after I had finished Yuzu and Karin with the dishes. Both had gone to the grocery store and left Rangiku and I alone. Rangiku was strangely quiet and seemed preoccupied and paid no attention to the person who sat next to her.

I noticed this other person instantly and pretty much freaked out. For a start they were translucent and didn't seem to have any physical being, but they were tugging on Rangiku's shirt; she was acting like it was just another person but… me?

"G-g-g…"

Rangiku looked up at me confused. "Are you okay?"

"G-g-gho.. ghost…"

Well then she looked even more confused and turned to the spot next to her. I thought for a long time she would say she couldn't see anything, but then she looked at me bemused and curious.

"You can see him?"

Well what was that supposed to mean? Of course I could see 'him'! He was as clear as day—despite being see through. Rangiku looked more troubled though and I wasn't entirely sure what that meant.

"I should probably go home and change my clothes, Rangiku-san…" plus the ghost was really starting to creep me out. She was unaffected by it and was unwilling to give me any explanation—she was obviously used to it and had known it was there, but…

"Go straight home, okay?" There was a warning in her tone I didn't like—it wasn't like a mothers caring tone… it was almost like 'if you go elsewhere you'll be sorry', but not in a way that sounded threatening to me. I simply agreed to that and left before another spirit could appear or she changed her mind.

I can't find it in my heart to regret the incident that followed leaving Ichigo's house that morning. If I had stayed I wouldn't have missed my bus, which would have meant I wouldn't have been running home, in the rain on a particularly busy Sunday. When life shows us even an ounce of happiness, it is not reasonable to regret and be thankless for it; once life offers up the joy, we should take it with both hands and never let go. We shouldn't regret it because it's rare for life to be so kind. I have no doubts my life would have been different if I had been even a few minutes later.

What happened is actually a blur as cliché as it sounds. I remember running across the road and slipping on the wet tarmac, and I remember a car skidding on the damp road. I can't say I remember any pain, and I don't remember hearing or seeing anything. There was none of this bright light, none of this life flashing before your eyes; nothing of the sort. It was kind of warm actually.

The next thing I remember was the voice of Aizen Sosuke and the white ceiling of my room in Las Noches. I didn't know it at the time, but this man had dictated my fate since I had returned to Karakura town only three months before. I didn't know, that, if I hadn't left Ichigo's house at the time I had… I would have been sat in soul society instead of Las Noches. I also didn't know how dangerous this man would be.