In short: First Firefly fan fiction this is slash Simon/Jayne don't like, don't even bother reading. It's smutty and all that. Please review, would like to know if im doing it right.

Disclaimer: Err don't own Firefly all is the property if Josh Whedon master of the universe

Summary: Simon always something, Jayne always saying something, Now they can say something together.

Simon Tam was always saying something.

"Simon Says. Simon Says." Jayne said mockingly walking away from the infirmary leaving behind the doctor and his lecture on binge drinking. He never saw eye to eye with the doctor, those dark blue eyes. That came with those pretty lips. Jayne let out a small almost inaudible moan, when he thought about Simons lips. He always had so many things to say to Simon, but it always came out crude. But he wasn't raised with refinement or education. When ever he gathered the will and words to tell Simon he became all jumbled. Then he would cover up with shouting and anger.

Jayne had plenty of sex with women across the universe, but every single time he ever had sex with them he was thinking about Simon. Imagining him screaming his name, breathing heavily from sexual intercourse. The way his hair would stick to his forehead from sweat. It was almost endless what he wanted to do with Simon.

"You know what, all I do is try to help you! Goram!" Simon said screaming down the hallway. Jayne turned around and looked down into those eyes. He thought to himself it's time, now is the time I have to say something.

"Simon! You know what! I'm..I'm gonnnna not drink so much no more." Jayne said pointing a finger at Simon's face.

"You're wha..really your going to?" Simon said with a confused look on his face.

"Yeah, yeah sure you know Simon says." Jayne said also confused by what he had said.

"Well..ermmm I'm glad." Simon said to him he scratched his head.

"Hey why don't you come to my room, and tell me more things I should know?" Jayne asked.

"Really? Oh, well if you want I can bring some books. How about after dinner?"

"Why not dinner in my room? Errm if you be so inclined...you know.." Jayne said trying to find the words.

"Yeah, I think dinner in your room would be fine. It'll be a date."

"A date?" Jayne said with enthusiasm. Simon was taken aback with how excited he was.

"Yeah, a study date. Sure." Simon smiled awkwardly, unsure why he was so happy.

A few hours later Jayne had just come out of the shower, he had spent a good time cleaning before he showered. It took longer than he expected, which is why he rushed the shower. Taking the towel he wrapped around his waist, he began to dry himself off. He was busy drying his hair when a voice came out of no where.

"Let's get started... oh Jayne I'll come back later" Simon said looking back down at the stack of books he brought, so he wasn't looking at the naked mercenary.

"Naw, doc it's okay comeon it, we're both dudes it's not like ive got what you ain't seen before."

"No, no its okay I shouda shouldnt have just walked in." Simon left the books on the bed, and was about to talk out. That is until Jayne grabbed the doctors arm.

"Simon, just sit down right here. Won't be a momment." he guided the doctor on to his bed pulling clothes out of a drawer. Jayne selected something simple and casual a pair of shorts, a shirt, and some socks. Simon was gaining his breath back after losing it at the sight of Jayne's tight muscled body. He could feel himself swallowing back words lost at the enjoyment of the reverse strip show.

"Guess, you're not use to me in this gettup. Usually in my cargo pants and shirt. But I like to be a little more loose when sleeping." Jayne explained sitting down on the bed next to Simon. He was so close to the doctor' that his lips nearly touched Simon's ear. This only caused the doctor to be a little more flustered.

"uhhh...yeah..erm nice shorts. I mean hey lets..ah start the lesson." Simon said blushing.

"What ever you say doc. Why dont you teach me about the name of muscles. On the count I'm always pullin them." Jayne grinned showing his teeth in a smile.

"Well..well uh i was gonnna talk about diet...is it really hot in here?" Simon started tugging on his shirt collar.

"Doc, why don't you loosen up it, take off the vest." Jayne ran his hand on along Simon's arm squeezing the shoulder. Simon looked down and took off his vest, and un did two buttons.

"Oh, that does feel better. Now let's start." Simon said trying to gain control of situation again. He grabbed a copy of Gray's Anatomy and opened up to a page with a diagram of a man. It displayed and labeled the muscles and bulges that made up the male body.

"So this here are the muscles that make up your arm your deltoid, biceps, and felxor tendon does.."

"Simon, I don't think I can learn from this. That guy dosen't even look no person I've seen. Sep the dead ones and really messed up."

"Well, what will help you learn?" Simon said with a look of concern on his face.

"Take off your clothes."

"What? Why.."

"Well that way you can point to the muscles on your body, so I can see how it looks."

"Why not your body then? I mean..."

"Well see I can't see everything on my own body, hard to look see."

"Well if you put it that way." Simon said soon finding himself standing before Jayne in nothing but his boxers.

Jayne took in the view of the doctor in all his close to naked glory, underneath his clothes was hidden a tight muscled body.

Simon was standing in front of him as he was laid on his bed, with the book.

"So, why don't I read a part. And you point to it?" Jayne suggested.

"Sure..we can do it that way." Simon said looking at Jayne.

"So wheres the abdominal muscles?" he asked, Simon brought his hands over his abs and began to rub them.

"They're right here in this area. ok what's next?" Simon said getting a little warmer.

"How about the pectorals. Are nipples also a muscle?" Jayne forced a fake interested face.

"Well they are more like glands, men's dont do anything. But some men can get aroused by them, if they are manipulated." Simon moved his hand from his abs to his chest.

"Why don't you pinch them?"

"Wha."

"You know so I can see how they respond."

"Umm..okay." Simon began to pinch them, which caused small moans to be elicited. He was slowly becoming aroused.

"Now where's your shaft?" Jayne said getting out of the bed.

"What! Jayne you know where that is!"

"Doc you know I don't know to much. Now comon this is just learnin here." Jayne inched closer till they were almost face to face.

"Okay, if you say so. Just learnin." Simon pulled down his boxers, and stood naked as he grasped his member. He couldn't believe that he was doing this.

"Does that feel good?"

"Oh..yeah, oh gorram yes." Simon was so close, lost in pleasure he forgot the reasons he was in the bunk. He was brought back by Jayne cupping his face.

"Simon, Lao Tien Fu you're beautiful." Hazel eyes met blue eyes in a passion filled gaze.

"Jayne, gorram I want you in me! Take me take me now!" Simon begged kissing the calloused hands that held his face.

"Bao-bei I'm gonna show heaven." Jayne said pulling Simon towards him grabbing from the small of his back. Their lips touched, and the fell on to the bed.

Jayne ran his tongue against the porcelain skin tasting the salt from Simon's pleasure sweat. Simon was enjoying the sensation of Jayne all over his body, the way his tongue swept against his skin, the beard scruff scratching him softly. The hands rubbing down his back, causing him to arch in pleasure.

"I'm ready..oh god I'm ready." Simon practically begged, he could feel Jayne's cock near his entrance. In their grappling Simon ended up on top, and Jayne supporting him from beneath. He guided Simon using his hips to maneuver the hungry man on to his cock.

"Ohhh Jayne your in me..oh god your so big...please more!" Simon practically was shouting at the top of his lungs. His eyes were closed in pleasure, mouth agape, hair plastered down to his forehead.

"Si...oh oh Simon your so tight." Jayne slammed to meet him, both men frantically bouncing off each other.

"I'm close...ohhh ohh god I'm so close."

"Baby shoot for me, cum on cum for me!"

"Yes...ahhh ohhh god!" Simon screamed collapsing on top of Jayne. They both climaxed together, Jayne wrapped his arms around the spent man supporting him and rolling him on to the bed.

Mal was walking down the corridor, passing by Jayne's bunk he heard moaning and screaming.

"Inara, Jayne keep it down! This is a decent ship!"

"Mo Min Chi Meow. As if I would service Jayne, I might be a companion but I'm not hard up on cash." Inara said passing the opposite direction.

"Wait, if you're here whose with Jayne?"

After the impromptu lesson that became impromptu sex, both men rested inside of Jayne's bunk wrapped in a blanket.

"Jayne, does this mean something?" Simon asked putting his head on Jayne's chest.

"Bao bei, Si I've wanted you, to be with you for a long time."

"So, I'm not just a whore?"

"Si, no bi jweh. If you we're a whore, it'd be easier to talk to you. I can talk to whores and you aint one. I like you alot Si, more than like."

"Hmmm." Simon climbed on top of Jayne, their eye met again.

"So what does Simon say?"

"Simon say "we can make this into something." they kissed before falling asleep.