I didn't like school that much. You probably think that's weird, and how can I not like going to Hogwarts? Well, first, there are people. Lots of them, at any time. You are almost never alone. That can be pretty stressing for someone who isn't good with people. And by that I mean I don't understand human beings and to be honest, I don't want to. Does this sound weird? Coming from a Malfoy, probably even weirder. I've never been one to socialize, and 'small talk' isn't anything in my vocabulary. Mother was actually worried about me before I went to school, but so far I managed pretty well. I don't like it, but it is bearable.
Scorpius is so different from me. He comes more after our father. He likes school. He likes people and being surrounded by them and having their eyes on him. You could say he's the sun of the Slytherin Common Room, while I am one of Saturn's countless moons, far away and unnoticed. I don't want to say I'm a complete loner, I do have friends. My best friend is James. Father would like to see me befriend non-Potter/Weasley-kids but let's be honest, about half of Hogwarts is either Potter or Weasley. It's hard not to befriend at least one of them. Of course, much has happened in the past but that was twenty-four years ago and by now, father has overcome some of his dislike for the Potter-Weasley-clan. But there's still this old grudge and I don't think it will ever vanish completely. He has accept the friends I chose for myself. Mother said I could have at least searched for friends less chaotic and less up for mischief. Someone more like me, someone to match my character. But where would I be without my daily dose of James Sirius Potter?
I sat at the breakfast table. It was early and I was tired. I had hardly slept last night. Napping from 9pm to 10.30, I had to get up again for an astronomy lesson. Astronomy was something I wouldn't want to miss. Ever. It was my favourite subject and I loved astronomy and space and the stars and yep, it was a hobby of mine, maybe even THE hobby. That one thing I like more than anything else. We had a lesson on constellations of the winter sky. Of course my favourite constellation wasn't to be seen since it was more of a summer constellation. I am named after it, Aquila. Maybe that's why I like it so much. Anyways, I was looking through star maps all night, not searching for something in particular but it was just plain interesting. I was still in the Common Room, when the first got up and went to breakfast. I checked myself in the mirror: dark shadows under my eyes, eyelids half closed, even paler than normal and my hair a wild bush of white-blond around my head. I should stop studying old maps all night every night. It was the only time everything was quiet and I could be alone, though.
"You", a voice said delightfully, "look absolutely horrible today." James let himself fall next to me, leaning against the table with his back. He grinned.
"At least I only look horrible today. You look horrible all year," I snapped and suppressed a yawn.
"False," he said, his grin widening. "I look stunning all year, even when I look horrible."
I raised a brow. "That doesn't make any sense."
James shrugged. "It does, actually. You know, even my most horrible look still looks stunning."
"Oh, shut up." I rolled my eyes and took a spoonful of cereal. "Why are you even awake?"
He turned around and grabbed a toast. "I couldn't sleep anymore, don't ask me why. And then I remembered it's Christmas soon and I thought that, maybe, umm… you want to come over?"
I stared at him. Every damn year he asked and every year I declined. Scorpius celebrated Christmas at the Potter's three times now and he always told me how much he liked it. It wasn't that I didn't want to go there… it was just that I didn't really know the rest of that family and it was a big one with many people in a house where I couldn't flee them if necessary. I was just simply afraid of all that chaos.
"Please don't say no again. I promise, when you don't like it, I'll find a way to get you home immediately. Does that sound okay?"
"I just… James, I…" I stopped. He knew how much I struggled with this. Before I could say anything else, our brothers entered the Great Hall and sat down across from us. Those two were kind of a reflection of us. One person with white-blond hair, one with darker, messy hair. One with an outgoing personality, one introvert.
"So?" Scorpius asked, looking up from the food in front of him. "You're joining me this Christmas at the Potter's?"
I furrowed my brows and glanced at James, who shrugged again. Always the shrugging when he wanted to show me he had nothing to do with this. Obviously he had, but I didn't say anything to him. Instead I watched Albus sipping his tea and my brother staring at me.
"I…" I took a deep breath. Sometimes I hated those boys. All of them. "Yeah, I'll probably come. I'm not sure. I'll have to sleep a night over that."
"If you actually sleep and don't stare at those silly maps all night," Scorpius noted.
"Oh screw you, both of you," I grumbled, exchanging a look with Albus, who grinned. I knew it was true, of course. I hadn't had a proper sleep the last days and I felt more and more exhausted. But there was so much to do during the night, much more than you could ever do during daylight. I sighed.
"See you for lunch," I said, got up and left the breakfast. It was always the same, every damn morning. But as much as it annoyed me, I also loved it somehow. It was routine, it was safety and it was friends.