I do not own seaQuest or its characters. I am not profiting from this story, it is for entertainment purposes only.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I wanted to say a big thank you for all of the wonderful things people have said in all the reviews I've received since I've come back. I would still write my stories even if the reviews were negative because I love writing, but it makes writing more fun knowing that someone can't wait to read my stories.
Thank Ronica for this idea. Truly, this story is for you since you came up with the idea.
Don't Touch
By: Kaitlyn Rose
Lucas let out a relieved sigh when he heard Dad's alarm clock go off. Dad had the early shift today so he was getting up at six. Lucas could now go to sleep without worries. Since Mom had taken him off duty today it didn't matter when he woke up, and Mom would only be too happy to see Lucas sleep the day away. Of course she wouldn't know he was doing it because he had stayed awake all night.
Lucas had wanted to go to sleep last night, very much in fact. The pain medicine he had finally asked for made him so sleepy, but he didn't dare go to sleep. He knew that he would dream if he did. He wasn't all that afraid of his nightmares any more since he knew he could get help for them, even while sleeping. But last night was different. He didn't want Dad showing up in his dreams last night, especially if he just happened to dream about what had happened to him yesterday.
He wouldn't have been able to stand it if Dad entered his dream while Lucas was replaying in his mind Hector and Rico assaulting him, touching him, fondling him. He never wanted anyone to know about that. Never! No one would understand. They'd feel sorry for him of course, and would even tell him it wasn't his fault, but Lucas knew better. He hadn't even tried to fight yesterday when Hector put his hand down his pants. He had turned into a giant coward and stood there motionless while the man did things that Lucas wished he could forget. Things that made Lucas' skin crawl at just the thought of it.
Even worse though was that his body responded to the touch. He had been so ashamed when he felt himself grow hard. What on earth did that say about him? That he had wanted it? That the thought of some ruthless slave trader raping him turned him on?
Lucas shook his head wildly and tried to force the thoughts out of his head as the churning bile in his stomach threatened to make him gag. Sleep, he just needed to go to sleep and let his disturbed mind have some rest.
He lay back on his bed and made a face at the pain in his body. He couldn't lay on his sides because both arms were too tender from being grazed by a bullet, smashed through a boarded window, and not to forget about the giant piece of tree bark that had embedded itself in his arm. His back was almost just as bad. The puncture wound on his back from where he had been hit with the dart and the surrounding muscle had really started hurting last night, causing Lucas to finally ask for some pain medication.
So here Lucas lay, on his stomach, his face turned to its side resting on his pillow. His pain medication had long since worn off during the night but he didn't want to wake Mom for more, so he closed his eyes and concentrated on falling asleep.
________________
Nathan stepped out of the bathroom and buttoned his top button. He stepped across the family room and pushed Lucas's door open a few inches, just enough for him to look at the boy lying on his bed in a rather uncomfortable looking position. Lucas' eyes were closed, but Nathan knew the boy was awake. For that matter he knew Lucas had been awake all night. The harder Lucas tried to keep things hidden from Nathan the more his mind projected, literally bombarding Nathan with his fears and insecurities.
Nathan was pretty sure he knew what was upsetting the boy so much. Even though Kristin's exam of Lucas showed that the boy hadn't been penetrated yesterday, it was fairly obvious that Lucas had been sexually assaulted in some way.
Nathan had wanted to go to Lucas so many times during the night and comfort him, get him to talk about it, but the only thought that was clearly coming from Lucas was that he didn't want to talk about it, especially with him.
He was just pulling the door too when he saw Lucas' eyes open slightly, then close quickly, hoping he wouldn't be noticed. Nathan couldn't stand this. It felt like it had back at the beginning, when Nathan longed to talk to the boy, to get him to trust him, only to have Lucas shut him out over and over. He had worked so hard to get the boy to trust him, and he had succeeded, but now he felt like he was starting back at the beginning all over again.
Nathan knew he was taking a big chance, but he couldn't risk letting Lucas shut down on him again. What if Lucas thought that Nathan didn't want to deal with this problem or what if he thought Nathan couldn't handle it? No, he had to let Lucas know that when he was ready to talk, he would be there to listen.
He entered the boy's room, careful to make some noise as he approached, then sat on the side of the bed. Nathan laid his hand on Lucas' back and was startled when Lucas quickly pulled away and shook it off.
"What do you want?" Lucas asked nervously. Nathan recognized Lucas' defensive attitude right off the bat. It was one he was very familiar with.
"Lucas, I just wanted to tell you that I love you. I know you went through something very scary yesterday, and I know that you aren't ready to talk about it yet. That's okay…for now," Nathan said, letting Lucas know that he wouldn't be allowed to keep this buried forever.
Lucas glared at Nathan. He had no right to interfere in this. This was private and he wouldn't talk about it if he didn't want to.
"Lucas, when you're ready to talk to someone, I just want you to know that I'll be here for you, and I won't judge. Do you understand, I'll listen, but I won't judge?
Lucas was clearly thrown by what Nathan had just said. Even with being psychic, how was the man always able to understand, to tell Lucas just what he needed to hear? Lucas opened his mouth as if to speak, but then closed it again. He took his eyes off of Nathan and stared at the blankets on the bed. No matter what Dad said, he still wasn't ready to talk just yet. He needed a little more time.
"It's okay," Nathan said, seeing Lucas' indecision. "This can wait till you're ready, but you'll feel better once you face it."
Lucas nodded his head, knowing Dad was right, but he didn't want to face it just this minute. He was too tired, and sore, and right now he just wanted to rest.
Nathan reached up to pat him on the shoulder, and thought better of it. At the moment Lucas didn't want to be touched.
"Sleep well son. I want you to take it easy today."
Lucas nodded again and then struggled to find a comfortable way to lie down once more.
Nathan stood up and walked out of Lucas' room, glad that he had taken the gamble.
___________________
Four hours later Lucas gave up on the idea of getting some sleep. Even with a new pain pill in him that Mom had given him an hour ago sleep wasn't coming. Lucas simply had too much on his mind to be able to drift off.
Something Dad had said to him kept repeating in his head. That he had to face what had happened to him. He had to face it. Lucas knew what he had to do. He got out of bed and went to the bathroom to shower and get dressed. He was alone since Mom was in the lab and Dad was on the bridge.
He looked at the clock. Mom said she'd be back at eleven to check on him. He had an hour before she came back. That was plenty of time for him to do what he needed to do.
_________________
Ben was in the supply room, supposedly working. The truth of the matter was he hadn't lifted a finger to do a thing in the past two hours. He had too much anger in him to concentrate. Ever since yesterday when the Captain told him that Lucas was going to be checked to see if he had been raped Ben had been consumed with this overwhelming urge to mangle the men currently in the brig.
He had stayed away per the Captain's orders, but following orders did little to alleviate his anger. Even though he knew Lucas hadn't been sodomized he knew that something had happened. The kid just had this look on his face. Last night during dinner he tried to act like everything was all right, that he'd bounced back from his kidnapping, but there was this sadness in his eyes that betrayed his true feelings.
Those men had touched Lucas in a way that put that sadness in his eyes. God how Ben longed to touch the men in the brig. He wanted to wrap his hands around their sleazy little necks and bash their faces in.
A hand on his shoulder caused him to fly out of his seat and draw his hand back into a fist.
"BEN!" Katie yelled. "Calm down, it's just me."
"Katie…oh god, I'm sorry," Ben said, quickly dropping his hand to his side. "You startled me."
"So I gathered. I'm sorry. I just wanted to see if you'd be free for lunch in a little bit. I thought we'd eat before I had to go on my shift at noon."
"Uh…I don't think so," Ben said. "I…I have a lot of work to do here today."
"Ben, what's wrong? You've been upset since yesterday. I thought everything was okay now that Lucas is safe."
"Katie, I'm just having a bad day is all," Ben replied. "I don't think I'd be very good company right now."
"Did something happen between you and Ford?"
"No...no nothing like that. I'm just worried about Lucas."
"Why? I talked with Kristin, and she said that Lucas was going to be fine. That he wasn't hurt too badly, just a few minor wounds."
"It's not his physical well being I'm worried about," Ben said.
"Then what?" Katie pressed.
"Katie, you can't repeat this to a living soul, not even the Captain to Kristin."
"I promise," Katie said without hesitation.
"I think Lucas was molested yesterday."
"Oh my god! Does the Captain and Kristin know?"
"They suspect it too. Bridger even had Kristin perform a rape exam on Lucas, but he was okay in that department."
"Then maybe nothing happened to him," Katie said. "I mean, how do you know that they even laid a finger on Lucas that way?"
"I…I just do," Ben answered. "I can't explain it. I saw it in Lucas' face last night. He's hiding something."
"Well just don't you go and do anything stupid," Katie warned. "You can't help Lucas through this if you end up in the brig or brought up on charges. If Lucas was assaulted like you think he's going to need his family and friends."
"I promise, nothing too stupid," Ben smirked.
___________________
Lucas walked through the corridor carrying the three trays of food from the mess. He stepped in to the brig and saw a security man sitting there reading a book. He was the only one watching the prisoners who were in the next room. One was all that was needed since there was literally no way out of the cells on seaQuest. Someone like a Rubin Zeller might figure out how to escape, but not the three jerks currently sitting in there.
"Lucas what are you doing here?" the security man asked. Lucas tried to think but he couldn't remember the man's name.
"I brought their lunch," he said.
"You shouldn't have done that. I mean, surely someone else could have taken care of it." The man knew, as did everyone on the boat, that Lucas had been kidnapped by the prisoners yesterday. "Here, I'll take it to them." He stood up to take the trays.
"No, really, I've got it," Lucas said.
"Listen, I think I know what you're trying to prove here, but you really shouldn't be here. Give me the trays and you go on."
"I'm not a child," Lucas insisted. "I'm perfectly capable of taking in some lunch to them."
The man sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Fine, take the trays in and I want you right back out." He shook his head not believing he was letting the kid do this.
Lucas nodded his head and stepped through the door that led to the cells. Lucas stopped when he saw Hector and Rico lying on their bunks. He recognized Montoya too, but it was the other two who had touched him.
Rico motioned for Hector to look and the man sat up to have a peek at their visitor.
"Well, so the pretty boy has come to visit us," Hector said. "What ya got their?" He stood up and walked over to the bars. "Smells good, pretty boy. Why don't you come on in here and we can have lunch together."
Lucas felt his body start to tremble. He was safe as long as he stood away from the bars, but his nerves were rattled none the less. He stood there like a statue, clutching the trays in his hands.
"Come here pretty boy, I want to have some more fun. Tell the truth, you liked my hand in your pants, didn't you. I felt you grow hard as I held it. You came back for some more. Stand next to these bars and I'll show you want I can do with mine, right up your ass."
Lucas broke out in a sweat and his breathing quickened. If he trembled anymore the trays of food would surely hit the floor. Food. Food. Give them the food and get the hell out. He took several small steps towards the cells.
He set the first tray on the floor and slid it towards Montoya in the opening at the bottom. Then he slid the first tray towards Hector and Rico. It stopped halfway between the bars. Rico reached out and pulled it the rest of the way in.
Then Lucas picked up the third tray ready to slide it through to.
"Pretty boy, if I had the time I'd fuck you until you died." Hector sneered.
The comment caught Lucas off guard and he didn't give the tray enough force when he slid it. It stopped about a foot and a half from the bars. Lucas looked at Hector and saw the man back away from the bars. He kept his eyes on Hector the whole time and then stepped up to the tray and bent down to slide it in.
Hector moved as fast as a dolphin through the water. The man's arm shot out through the bars and grabbed Lucas' arm.
"No!" Lucas gasped and tried to pull his arm free but Hector's grip held tight. Lucas was being pulled towards the bars. In the next instant Lucas found himself pinned to the bars his back facing Hector and Rico. Each man now had a hold of him, Hector's arm around Lucas' chest, Rico's hand wrapped around Lucas' neck.
"Let me go!" Lucas yelled, struggling to break free. Rico squeezed Lucas' throat tighter, cutting off his air. Lucas began to gasp for air.
"Lucas, come on, you've had enough time," the security man said as he entered the brig. His eyes focused on Lucas and his situation. He quickly pressed the panic button on his PAL before saying, "Release him right now!"
"Open the cell," Hector demanded.
"Release the boy!"
"No. The pretty boy is staying with us. Now open this cell or my friend will squeeze a little harder."
Lucas raised his hands and clawed at Rico's hands, trying to breath. Hector managed to use his other hand to grab one of his arms and pin it to his side. He knew how to scare the kid enough to get him to stop struggling.
"Hold him," Hector said to Rico. Rico held the arm down and Hector then started to slide his hand down the waist band on Lucas' jeans. Hector expected Lucas to freeze like he did yesterday, but instead Lucas freaked out.
"NO. DON'T TOUCH ME YOU BASTARD!" Lucas screamed and started to thrash wildly. The next instant he had pulled himself free and then tripped over the tray and crashed to the floor.
Crocker and Shan had entered the brig and saw Lucas kicking and screaming.
"Lucas," Crocker said and went to help the boy up. He took hold of Lucas' arm but once again Lucas just lost it.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" He yanked his arm away from Crocker and bolted from the room, almost knocking Ben down, who had heard the shouting in the supply room across the hall from the brig.
"LUCAS!" Ben yelled, but the boy was gone. "What happened!" he demanded to know. "Why was Lucas in here!?"
"That's what I would like to know!" Crocker said.
The guard quickly explained what had happened, and how Lucas insisted he could deliver the food, but something must have gone wrong.
"You let him in here! Alone!!" Ben yelled. "Are you out of your mind?"
"Listen, the kid was trying to prove something, okay," the guard said. "It seemed real important to him that he go in there."
"Did it ever even occur to you to ask the Captain first? Or me since I'm your superior officer?" Crocker asked.
"I…I'm sorry. He was just supposed to take the trays in and come right out."
Ben turned to look at Hector and Rico. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?"
"I gave him what he came looking for," Hector sneered. "He wanted to play, so I played with him."
"What does that mean?" Shan asked.
"Use your imagination," Hector replied.
"YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH!" Ben screamed and lunged for the cell. Crocker and Shan each grabbed an arm to hold the Lieutenant back before he literally killed someone.
"Let me go!" Ben demanded. "Let me go so I can kill that son-of-a-bitch! I'll tear his fucking heart out!"
"Krieg calm down right now!" Crocker demanded, fighting to restrain the crazed man. Ben ignored the order and continued to try and get to the cells. "Ben calm down or I'll lock you up!"
"Let me go!" Ben yelled through gritted teeth. "Why are you stopping me? That man sexually abused Lucas! Tell me you don't want to kill him just as badly as I do!"
"LIEUTENANT!" a voice boomed through the small brig.
Everyone in the room flinched and looked up to see the Captain standing there. "What the hell is going on?"
As everyone stared at the Captain Ben stole the moment to break free from Crocker and Shan and ran the last three steps to the cell and managed to punch Hector in the face through the bars. He never got to throw the second punch because he was soon pushed down to the floor on his stomach and his hands were cuffed behind his back.
"Crocker, place escort Lt. Krieg to his quarters where he is to be confined until further notice. Chief Shan, you are to tell me exactly what happened here," Nathan demanded.
"Aye sir," Crocker and Shan chimed.
_________________
Lucas ran to E deck, ignoring the looks he received from the crew that he passed by. He didn't care what they thought. He ran through the large machines and the engines and passed the boiler. He stopped and crawled into a little cubby hole he had used before when he just wanted to get away from everything and everyone. He knew Dad would find him eventually, but for right now he just wanted to be alone.
What had just happened in the brig was a total disaster. Not only had he let those bastards get the best of him, but now most likely everyone knew what had happened, not just today, but yesterday too. For a brief second he actually thought about running away. Surely it would be easier to just disappear than it would to stay and see the way everyone looked at him now. But he couldn't run away. It would break Mom and Dad's heart if he did, and they didn't deserve that, not after everything they had done for him.
He pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his face in them as he cried. He felt so humiliated.
_________________
Nathan finished talking to Shan and disciplining the guard who had allowed Lucas access to the brig. He couldn't believe what had happened. He understood what Lucas was trying to do, but he went about it in the worst possible way. He had only caused himself more harm.
He walked down the corridor and down the flight of stairs to E deck. He knew where Lucas was. The place was a favorite hiding spot for him. Nathan approached the boy and saw his foot sticking out slightly.
"Lucas," Nathan said softly.
"Go away," Lucas replied.
"Son we need to talk."
"I said go away!" Lucas yelled.
Nathan walked up to the cubby and sat down in the floor so he could be eye level with Lucas. "Lucas, we really need to talk about what just happened."
"I don't want to talk about it," Lucas said, his voice hitching in his throat.
"Come out of there."
"No."
"Lucas…"
"It's your fault!" Lucas burst. "I was doing what you said. I was facing it. You said I'd feel better, but you were wrong!"
"I didn't mean for you to…"
"You were wrong!"
Nathan reached in to Lucas' hiding place and tried to pull the boy out. Lucas immediately began to resist him.
"No…don't touch me…don't touch me! You were wrong! This is your fault!" Lucas banged his fists into Nathan's chest while Nathan continued to pull him out of his hole.
"Lucas I'm sorry," Nathan said. "I'm so sorry that you thought I meant for you to go to the brig and see those men. I never would have had you do that." He still struggled to hold on to Lucas. The boy was now out in the open but he was trying to stand up and run away. Nathan sat with his back to the wall in the floor and pulled Lucas into his arms, pinning the boy to him.
"Don't touch me," Lucas cried. "I don't want anyone to touch me. I told them to stop. Why did they do it?" Suddenly Lucas stopped fighting and went limp, burying his face into Nathan's chest. "They kept calling me pretty boy…over and over…they wouldn't stop. Then Rico held me and Hector took out a knife. He cut my shirt off and kept running the tip of the knife over my chest…not in a scary way…but like he was enjoying it…then he unbuttoned my pants…and…and he…put his hand in there. I told him to stop. I just stood there…I didn't do anything…why didn't I do anything…why…I just stood there while he had his hand in my pants…t-touching…m-me. What's wrong with me? Why didn't I do something?"
"Lucas it wasn't your fault. There was two of them and one of you. He had a knife to you. You didn't just stand there because you wanted him to touch you, he would have hurt you, maybe even killed you if you had tried to resist. Do you understand? This isn't your fault, you don't have anything to be ashamed of."
"But I do," Lucas said. "I do! You don't know…you don't understand…"
"Lucas, no matter what happened you DON'T have to be ashamed. You didn't ask for that to happen to you."
"But I…it…I mean…"
Suddenly Nathan understood. This wasn't just about the fact that Hector had touched Lucas, it was about the fact that Lucas got an erection from it.
"Lucas…I do understand. Listen, you're a teenager…with all these hormones. Just because you got an erection didn't mean that you liked it…or that you're gay…or anything else. It just happened…and it's not your fault…so don't punish yourself for something you had no control over…please."
"I should have fought them," Lucas whimpered.
"You were drugged. We found the dart they shot you with. Kristin tested it yesterday. It was a powerful drug. The fact that you managed to escape at all and get to your PAL is rather amazing. So you did fight back. You escaped, hid in the jungle, and managed to avoid them for over an hour until Hector finally caught up with you again."
"If you hadn't got there when you did I'd be at the bottom of some pit in the swamp," Lucas replied.
"But I did find you, and that didn't happen. You did everything you could do yesterday to stay alive, and I'm proud of you. I'm so very proud of you."
Lucas was exhausted and let out a yawn between hiccups. He wiped his eyes.
"Let's get you to your room so you can rest," Nathan said.
"No, I don't want to go back up there. I don't want to see them looking at me."
"No one is going to be looking at you," Nathan told him.
"Yes they will. Everyone will know by now."
Nathan couldn't argue about that. Chances are most of the crew did already know at least about what happened in the brig, if not the island. "Lucas, even if they do look at you, it won't be to judge you. They may be curious, but they're your friends and they're worried for you."
"I don't want to go yet," Lucas repeated.
"Fine, we'll stay here for a bit, until you're a little calmer, but we have to go up eventually."
Lucas simply nodded as his Dad held him a little tighter.
________________
An hour later Nathan was still sitting on the hard floor on E deck, Lucas' soft breathing the only sound to be heard. Crocker and Kristin had come down about twenty minutes ago but he simply waved for them to leave. He'd explain everything later.
He looked down at the top of Lucas' blond hair. The boy still had a long way to go before he would be all right again. Hector and Rico had done a lot of psychological damage, but hopefully Lucas believed him when he said it hadn't been his fault, and that there really wasn't anything he could have done to change things at the time.
At the very least Lucas knew that Nathan wasn't ashamed of him, nor was he going to abandon him. He would have to make a point to talk to the senior crew, inform them that they weren't to treat Lucas any differently, that it was important for life to go on as close to normal as possible.
He would also have to go see Lt. Krieg, and thank him for punching out Hector.