Sirius' eyes fluttered open as he woke up slowly, raising his furry head from his paws. 'didn't i shift back?' he asked himself. He looked around the room of the shrieking shack, recognizing Remus' sleeping human form not far from him. He slowly stood up, shifting back to a human form. Last night was the full moon and it was Sirius' turn to watch over Remus and make sure everything was OK. It wasn't hard, basically, but Sirius found himself not very able to sleep well a couple of nights later. It took time before he could get back to normal. Not because he was scared- it was quite the other way around. He was torn between telling Remus the things he didn't remember from those nights and leaving it be. Well, maybe he was scared. scared of how Remus will react if he will find out what happened. You see, Remus couldn't remember things he did as a wolf. Just like the wolf couldn't remember the human. So Sirius found himself sitting in a chair, watching Remus sleeping and thinking about the events of the night before.
"I can feel it building up, I'm going to shift soon." Remus said, looking at Sirius who was sitting beside him.
"It's OK Moony. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." Sirius smiled. Remus smiled back and Sirius stood up, standing in front of Remus and shifting. Then he sat down in front of him and placed his head on Remus' knees, looking up at him. Remus smiled again and patted Sirius, slightly scratching behind his ear while Sirius made happy noises. It was always like that - Sirius made sure to shift before Remus, he could do more as a dog and not a human. So Remus was playing with him and patting him as he waited for the wolf to take control. And Sirius waited with him. Then it started - the pain, the almost numbing pain that felt like every bone in his body was broken to tiny pieces. He could hear himself screaming, but it sounded so far and weird. The screams slowly started to sound like howls as his body changed. And then nothing. His brain shut down and from this point on he didn't remember anything.
The wolf growled at the dog in front of him. And then something seemed to change - the wolf's memory came back to him. So the growls changed. Not threatening and angry, more hungry. Sirius laid down and rolled to his back, submitting to the wolf. He was well aware of everything that was happening and just enjoyed the moment. The way teeth broke through his skin. The way the wolf's body felt against him. Even the pain. He enjoyed all of it. The wolf.
Sirius awoke from his thoughts when Remus moved and made a soft sound, meaning he was waking up slowly. Sirius just waited, smiling a soft and warm smile. Remus opened his eyes and that was the first thing he saw - that smile. He automatically smiled back and his stomach turned. That smile did amazing things to him. Being alone with Sirius did amazing things to him. He slowly sat up, wiggling his head to wake up.
"How do you feel?" Sirius asked, looking at him carefully.
"I'm okay.. like always." Remus gave him a smirk, fully getting up. "Let's head back to the castle, I'm starving." He added. Sirius stood up, waiting for Remus to fully wake up and be able to stand. And then they headed back to the castle, like nothing happened. Remus for some reason had the urge to touch Sirius, so he threw a hand over his shoulders in a friendly way. Sirius laughed and placed a hand on Remus' hips. They both laughed at this.
"We look like a couple." Remus said with a wide smile, looking at Sirius.
"Aren't we, my love?" Sirius said with what was supposed to sound like a girl's voice, which only made them laugh harder. So they joked around all the way back to the castle, laughing hard. They ate breakfast along with Peter and James, who waited for them. At some point, Sirius started thinking about the night he spent with the wolf, worrying his lower lip with his teeth. James noticed that and kicked him under the table, giving him a warning look. He finished his food and asked the others to tell professor Slughorn that he was not feeling well, heading to the boys dormitory. He locked the door to the room, physically turning the key and locking it with a spell. Then he murmured 'silensio' and went to lay on his bed. you see, getting off as a dog was not the same as getting off as a human. He needed his release. He thought about Remus, letting his hands trail slowly over his body. He lifted his shirt and ghosted his fingers over his stomach, slowly reaching his pants, unbuttoning and unzipping them. He let his mind wonder, imagining it was Remus' hands on him, that he was right there. A soft moan escaped his lips and he pulled down his pants and boxers, one of his hands finding it's place on his erection. His other hand found the bottle of lube in the nightstand and he quickly lubricated his fingers, pulling up his knees for better access. The hand on his cock went faster as he slid one finger inside himself, throwing his head back with a pleasurable moan. Soon he added a second and a third finger, both of his hands moving quick as he was getting closer and closer to his release. The images his mind was providing him made a huge difference.
"Fuck... Remus.. It feels so good..." Sirius moaned loudly as he felt the heat growing in his stomach. He moaned Remus' name over and over again, his eyes closed and waves of pleasure going through all his body. Finally, he screamed Remus' name one last time as his orgasm hit. His back arched off the bed and his whole body shuddered. He slowly relaxed and got up, taking a quick shower, dressing up and walking to class to continue his day.
It was becoming late and Sirius went up to the dorm and laid on his bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking. He wanted to just come up to Remus and tell him everything, tell him he loves him and everything. but for some reason he couldn't. He was too scared. Much of a Gryffindor huh?
"Sirius? is everything okay?" He heard Remus walking into the room.
"Yeah, I'm fine." He answered, hoping that Remus would just leave him be. But he didn't. The curtain was pushed open and Sirius turned his back to Remus, cuddling with himself.
"Your'e not okay if turn your back to me." Remus said, waiting for any kind of response. But there wasn't. He took a deep breath. "Fine, don't look at me. But i need to talk to you. Those potions I've been drinking to control my wolf are taking effect. The thing is, that with those potions I'm starting to remember what happened when i was a wolf. Now, Sirius, why didn't you tell me about it?" He just said it. No thinking, just talking.
"Told you about what?" Sirius said quietly, still not looking at Remus. His heart was beating like crazy. That's it. he knows.
"Don't play dumb. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Just, why didn't you tell me?" He sounded more hurt than angry, which made Sirius turn to look at him.
"I was afraid ok? i was afraid to lose you as a friend. I love you moony, more than i care to admit. And when your wolf fell for me as a dog, it was somewhat enough. It was better than nothing. I didn't want to tell you 'cause I didn't want to lose that." Sirius spilled it all, biting his lower lip as he waited for Remus to say something.
"Pads, you're an idiot. Even though I can't remember the wolf and he can't remember me, we share a lot of feelings. My wolf fell for your dog because I fell for you. If you would just tell me about all that.. " Remus smiled softly. Sirius looked at him, wide eyed, realizing what he just said.
"So.. you're saying that... you love me?" He asked, just to make sure. Remus nodded slowly, still holding that soft smile. A smile spread on Sirius' lips and he grabbed Remus by the back of his neck, kissing him roughly. Remus returned the kiss, wrapping his arms around Sirius and laying him down on the bed slowly. Their kiss was rough and desperate, making up for all the time they waited for this to happen. Sirius didn't even notice that he lost his shirt, until he felt Remus' hands on his bare skin, roaming his body.
"M-Moony wait.." He panted as he broke the kiss. "Prongs and Wormtail might walk in on us.." He bit his lower lip.
"No they won't. I already talked to both of them, Prongs sneaked to the girls dormitory and Wormtail is going to spend the night at the room of requirement." Remus smirked and leaned down to kiss Sirius' neck. Sirius found the hem of Remus' shirt and lifted it over his head, staring at the now exposed skin. It wasn't long before they were both naked and Remus was teasing Sirius, moving against him but refusing to enter him.
"Moony come on!" Sirius whimpered, bucking his hips against Remus.
"You want it? beg for it." Remus said, an evil smirk on his lips. One look at him was enough for Sirius to understand that he really meant it.
"Shit.. Moony please.. Please just fuck me.. I want to feel you inside me.. Please fuck me.." He looked away, blushing.
"You want that? how hard do you want me to fuck you Pads?" Remus slightly pushed just the head inside, making Sirius moan.
"Oh so hard.." At that point he looked back up at Remus, knowing what to say to get what he wants. "I want you to fuck me so hard i wouldn't walk for a week. Pound me into the damn mattress, fuck me so hard that all i can do is scream your name and beg for more.. Fuck me so har- AH!" He was cut off with his own moan as Remus slammed into him, moving in a quick pace. Sirius kept on moaning, his hands gripping Remus' shoulders tightly. Remus changed his angle a few times, until he hit something that made Sirius cry out in pleasure and arch his back off the bed. Remus kept on aiming for that spot and Sirius became a moaning mess.
"Ah! Remus! I'm so close!" hearing Sirius say his real name made something twitch inside him and he almost lost it. He thrusted faster and harder, placing a hand on Sirius' erection and pumping it in time with his thrusts. It only took a few more until both of were sent over the edge, moaning each others names loudly. Remus pulled out and laid down beside Sirius, holding him close.
"I love you.." He whispered softly. Sirius mumbled something that sounded like "I love you too" and they both drifted off into a peaceful sleep in each others arms.