Jacob had promised me cliff diving, hadn't he?

I walked all the way to the edge, looking down at the black waves crashing against the sharp cliffs that were far down below me.

I didn't need Jacob with me to jump off a cliff. I was perfectly able of doing it myself. Besides, I needed to hear Edward's voice again. The hole in my chest was throbbing around the edges, only encouraging me to go closer to the edge.

I looked down. Wow, it was high up. I wondered how many seconds I would be in the air, free fall down to the black water. I curled my toes around the edge of the cliff. I waited.

"Bella", the voice in my head warned. I sighed with relief, half smiling.

"Yes?" I thought, afraid to speak out loud.

"Don't do this", The velvet voice sang in my head.

"You wanted be to be human" I thought. "Well, watch."

"Please. For me." Edward pleaded.

"But you won't stay with me in any other way" I thought, the hole in my chest throbbing.
"Please"

But the voice was just a whisper, almost lost in the rain that made me enough wet to look as if I'd jumped already. I let out my arms, leaning forward, getting ready to jump.

"No Bella!"

I was stunned. The voice didn't belong to Edward, instead it was a familiar, husky voice I recognized. Jacob.

I turned my head around, surprised. There he was, along with Sam. I felt slightly embarrassed as he had caught me in my private moment of madness. He ran towards me, then pulling me against his huge, warm chest. It felt so nice after standing in the whipping rain.

"Were you going to go cliff-diving without me?" he asked, clearly worried - Or hurt. I was too confused to hear the difference.

"How did you find me?" I asked, ignoring his question.

"Billy said you were at the beach, don't you remember telling him?"

"Oh, that's right..." I trailed off. "Jake, I was so worried about you" I said, hugging him tighter. I was relieved that he was safe – But also alarmed by Sam's grim expression. "What's going on?" I asked, pulling away from Jacob, frowning.

"Bella, we've got great news. We got her" Jacob's worried face lit up in a wide grin. I gasped.

"You... got Victoria?" I almost whispered, like I didn't believe it.

"We sure did" Jacob grinned at me. "Our plan worked. When we split up, she tried to get through us. She was very hard to chase down, she almost made it to Forks, but we got her alright" he said, suddenly his smile tired.

I had to sit down and breathe. She wasn't going to come after me anymore. I wouldn't put either Jacob or Charlie in danger again. The relief washed over me, making me feel lightheaded.

"Bella, are you okay?" Jacob asked, holding my shoulders as I sat down.

"Yes... more than okay. Jake – You saved my life. And maybe Charlie's... And your's. I was so worried she'd get to you. Oh Jake-" I rambled on.

"Bella" he chuckled. "You seriously need to have more confidence in us. After we'd track her down, she was an easy target". He paused and looked at me, frowning. "You shouldn't have been worried". Jacob shook his head lightly, and then pulled me up towards him. "I'm afraid we got some bad news too" he said grimly.

"Oh no!" I gasped. "Are the others okay? I should have known..." I stuttered, suddenly worried again. If Victoria had hurt any of the other wolves, I don't know if I could see myself in the mirror again.

"Bella, take it easy. The pack is okay, no harm done on us" Jacob assured me.

"Then what happened...?" I asked, carefully, watching Sam's serious expression.

"It's Harry Clearwater. He had a heart attack this morning" Jacob told me, his mouth pulled down at the corners.

"Oh.... Is he going to be alright?" I was so stupid for almost jumping off a cliff when my dad needed me to be with him. Stupid, childish and reckless. I felt guilty.

"It doesn't look so good" Jacob shook his head sadly. "Bella, Charlie needs you".

"Of course" I said, bleakly. My voice felt far away.

"Sam, you can go back to the hospital now, I'll take Bella back to my place". Sam nodded at Jacob, then he disappeared into the trees. Jacob took my hand and helped me up, and as usual, he kept his hand in mine as I lead him back to my truck.

We drove in silence home. Jacob looked sick with worry, but he seemed relatively calm, almost smug in a way. I was glad that Victoria was no longer going to be a problem – Not glad, extremely relieved. But that feeling was clouded with worry, too. Harry was one of Charlie's closest friends. I really hoped he would make it – For Charlie's sake, and his family's.

When we got home, I sat down on their tiny sofa, trying to warm myself.

"Do you need any dry clothes? You look like you actually jumped from that cliff" Jacob pointed out.

"It's okay" I told him. "I just need a blanket or something".

"Sure, sure" he mumbled and pulled out a blanked that he lay around my shoulders. I didn't feel cold anymore – Not with Jake close. I was just tired.

"Do you mind if we'd just take it easy and rest for a while? I haven't slept much tonight... And there's not much to do for us then wait, anyway" Jacob asked, stretching out his huge body over the armchair.

"Nope, I'm pretty tired too" I admitted, and with that, Jacob eyes closed. I shut mine also, trying to analyze today's events.

Victoria wasn't chasing me anymore. In fact – No vampires were going to hunt me anymore. I thought about that for a while, about not being in life-threatening danger again. Well, maybe I would (with my luck), but that would probably not involve vampires.

Then suddenly it struck me. My eyes flew open, and my arms automatically locked around my chest, while I was trying to breathe normal.

No vampires was ever going back for me – Not even the good ones.

The whole in my chest was chewing me from inside out, searing in pain. I felt like I was breathing through a plastic bag – I was literally gasping for air. I curled myself into a ball, trying to calm down. I didn't want to wake Jacob and having him seeing me like this.

Slowly, I calmed myself down. My breathing returned to normal, but the pain in my heart was still the same. I kept my arms around me, like I was afraid of breaking into pieces. For all I knew, maybe I was.

How stupid I had been. Without really thinking of it, I had clinged to the small hope that one day, the Cullens – Edward – would come back to me. Laurent and Victoria made my memory of them real, like proof of their existence. But it was quite obvious that they wouldn't come back. Like Edward had said; This is the last time you'll ever see me.

Well, Edward hadn't come to rescue me in the meadow, or tried to protect me from Victoria. Okay, that wasn't fair though. I bet he didn't know about any of this. Or didn't care.

That last thought hurt, and I couldn't help but wince.

Charlie's words about my behavior a few months earlier flashed into my head; Honey, you're not handling it. He was right. I wasn't even trying. Instead, here I was, alone in this rainy little town, riding motorcycles and trying to jump off cliffs. And for what?

To hear his voice, of course. The only perfect, intact memory I had of him, and it was buried deep inside of my subconscious, only to be revealed when I was in danger.

Was this how it was going to be? Me, staying in Forks, trying to remember the past, doing reckless things for my short moments of personal madness. And being with Jacob of course – I couldn't stand losing him now – But at the same time pushing him away.

I turned my head and looked at Jacob. He was sleeping heavily, probably exhausted from today. Again, he looked so vulnerable and young. His features were all smoothed out, his full lips slightly parted and his head resting on a bunch of pillows. He looked more like a sweet, innocent boy now rather then a big, scary guy that could turn into a wolf.

I sighed. I was going to pull myself together. I made a secret promise to myself – I was going to handle it.

Okay guys, this is my first story. If you like where it's heading, please review. More will be up soon enough! /AB