My gift to you.
Swanmist had been devastated upon reaching Starclan. She had been greeted by Mothwhisker's two dead kits. Starclan had named them, Brightkit for the stillborn tom, and Whisperkit for the day-old she-cat. Brightkit had come first to her, his ginger pelt blazing like his father's, and Whisperkit had followed quietly, her pale ginger tabby pelt fading in and out with the glow of the stars around them. Swanmist had begged them to take her to her own children, but Whisperkit had shaken her head mutely, forlornly.
"I'm sorry, Swanmist," she had murmured, voice dark with pain, "But they aren't here."
"Wh-what?" Swanmist had stammered in shock, "They aren't-but they died!"
"Swanmist, they died before they lived," Brightkit sighed solemnly, "They died before they had hearts to support them and minds of their own. They are not with us here, Swanmist. I'm so sorry." Swanmist began to howl uncontrollably. She had lost everything that had ever mattered to her, her kits, her mate, her sister, her parents, her friends…She couldn't take any more. She collapsed onto the starry grounds and cried. Silver tears dripped from her muzzle and sank into the soft ground. The kits knew better than to comfort her. Swanmist did not want comfort; she wanted her family. And that was the one thing they were unable to give. The kits padded away into the shadows of the glades, and whispered soft good-byes. Swanmist paid them no mind and brushed the words away, too lost in her own misery to raise her head. The kits never saw her walking the stars since.
Swanmist still lay there, tears pooling in her eyes, wondering why it was she who had to die. As she wallowed in her misery, a snow-bright figure padded into the clearing.
"Swanmist," The figure murmured, "My beautiful granddaughter." Swanmist looked up into crystal blue eyes, the same shade as her mother, but complete with more sparkle and a hint of sadness. Her pelt was thick, white and impeccably groomed.
"You're my-" Swanmist began, voice still choked with tears.
"Grandmother, yes. My name is Fallensnow. I'm sorry I couldn't be with you earlier, my sweet one. I'm here now." The she-cat wrapped herself around Swanmist tightly.
"You look like my mother…" Swanmist whispered, feeling her heart clench in her chest at the thought of Paledove.
"I'm your mother's mother. You and your sister have made me so proud…" Fallensnow sighed.
"Paledove always told me you thought Whitefang was a disgrace," Swanmist sniffed, "I miss Whitefang, Fallensnow. I miss her so much."
"I never thought either of you was a disgrace! I love you both! You're my sweet, strong, beautiful grandkits." Fallensnow murmured. "Just remember that whatever happens, sisters love each other too." Fallensnow looked at Swanmist meaningfully before rising to her paws and padding out of the clearing. Swanmist watched her go, and her heart, momentarily lightened, sank lower than before.
"Goldenmoon, where's Swanmist?" Brightkit asked, watching as Darkclaw ascended the starry path to the sky, his shimmering form looking back down over the Clan he'd left behind, and the son he'd never known.
"I'm not sure, Brightkit," Goldenmoon mused, "I'm not sure. Have you tried the outlook?" The pale golden queen asked, referencing the place where only the lost souls wandered in search of a glimpse of their homes, and their loved ones.
"I have," Brightkit frowned, "And there was no one there but Longshadows."
"That tom must learn to leave things in the past," Goldenmoon growled, "Try down in the territories, Brightkit, she may be visiting them." The queen sighed as she thought of Swanmist's lost kits.
"I'll try, Goldenmoon, but she's been avoiding me, and her clanmate will joining us shortly. He needs to be greeted by those he knows." Brightkit sighed, willing himself to sink through the grounds of Starclan to the world below…
Brightkit hadn't been down to the living world in many, many moons. He knew his parent were expecting new kits, and wouldn't like to be reminded of their loss. Of course, he knew they'd never forget him or Whisperkit, but they would probably much prefer their unborn kits to live. He hadn't visited them. But he knew that Swanmist enjoyed prowling about the grounds of Shadowclan, that was when she came away from wherever she hid. The she-cat would visit the graves of her kits, and occasionally even her sister and parents, though they would never know it. She had walked in Whitefang's dream once, and it had morphed into a nightmare. The silver-white she-cat never tried that venture again. Brightkit padded through the undergrowth, wishing he were alive. What a joy it would be to be prowling the borders with a mentor! But he pressed onwards quickly to reach his goal. He checked the kit's graves, and there was nothing to be found. Wonderingly, he padded a little further to the grave of Swanmist herself. He heard voices.
"And Swanmist, Darkclaw died today. He was so sick, all his cuts infected…and I just came back from Twoleg-place as well, and you wouldn't believe what I found there…Barkpaw's entire family! His mother, his sisters, and his brother, Dolan, who is trying now to become one of us. He's a sweet young tom, so much like Barkpaw used to be…But that tom is dead to me now! He's cruel and heartless and I will never speak about him ever again! I miss you so much, Swanmist, and I will avenge you, I promise." Brightkit saw a large white she-cat, her pelt gnarled and tangled, her golden eyes glowing with grief. The shimmering, translucent form of Swanmist sat beside her, listening intently.
"I miss you two, Whitefang." She whispered. The white warrior, who of course didn't hear the soft words of her sister, stood up with a sigh and padded away back to the warrior's den.
"Swanmist!" Brightkit called, "Swanmist!" the silver swirled she-cat turned quickly.
"Brightkit! What are you doing here?" She gasped.
"I've come to fetch you. Darkclaw's nearly at Starclan, and he needs someone to greet him. Please, Swanmist." Brightkit implored. The warrior sighed.
"Alright. Take me to him."
"Darkclaw," Swanmist nodded to the powerful looking dark tortoiseshell.
"Swanmist," The tom greeted her with a small purr. He was already standing beside his parents, and his older sister. The three cats acknowledged Swanmist, but she could tell she was not needed at the family gathering. She turned, and began to walk away until Darkclaw called out to her.
"Swanmist, Whitefang said-she said Barkpaw couldn't come. Is he-" The tom asked, voice thick with emotion.
"No, Darkclaw. Barkpaw is far worse than dead." Swanmist sighed, guilt resting upon her shoulders heavily. She hurried away into the shadows, the distressed warrior calling after her.
"Swanmist, more of your clanmates have joined us. Are you ready to see them?" Brightkit asked, peering into the darkness of the edges of Starclan territory. Swanmist secluded herself there often, thinking of all that could've been and all that wasn't. She no longer sought out Fallensnow among the fallen warriors, or traveled the lonely paths of the living world, unless she was going out to watch the training sessions of the apprentices. It was the only time when she could watch both her sister and her mate simultaneously.
"Give me a moment. Who is it now, Brightkit?" Swanmist asked quietly from the depths of the shadows.
"Honeygaze and Sharpcloud. There was a badger attack in Shadowclan." Brightkit murmured gently.
"Are my parents alright? And Whitefang and Timbermask?" Swanmist inquired.
"They're fine. Bust Rosedust is in shock, and Hollowstar and Featherfall are mourning the loss of their daughter greatly. Whitefang is upset. She named Honeygaze, remember?"
"Of course I remember." Came Swanmist's reply. How could she not? "I remember that night. i remember every night."
"Shall we?" Brightkit offered. His amber eyes glowed in the darkness.
"I suppose so." Swanmist agreed, emerging from the darkness, beautiful as ever. The pair walked quickly over to the clearing. Swanmist couldn't bear to glance at the ground, for it still bore traces of her tears, small speckles where grass no longer grew.
"Swanmist!" Honeygaze exclaimed when she saw the older warrior, "Am I really dead?"
"Yes," Swanmist said sadly, "Welcome. You were too young to go." Honeygaze shrieked in horror, looking down at her paws and pelt as if she were unsure of her own existance. Darkclaw padded out of the starlit forest, red-amber eyes wide as he took in his niece.
"Honeygaze," He meowed, voice soft.
"Darkclaw!" She cried, running to her Uncle. "I've missed you. We've all missed you." She sobbed into his shoulder. "Do you think they miss me too?"
"Of course they miss you. and they'll always love you, i know that. Hush, sweetheart, hush..." He murmured, cradling her as he would a kit in his massive paws.
"I'll never get to live again, Darkclaw," Honeygaze cried, "I'll never get to feel the sunshine, or taste warm prey, or feel the heat of battle, or grow old with a mate...I'll never do any of it. I didn't even live to see my sister's kits..."
"There, there. Let's go find you a nest." Darkclaw sighed heavily, walking away into the forest with his niece.
"Hello, Swanmist." Sharpcloud mewed, looking back over his shoulder periodically as the other pair walked away.
"Hello, Sharpcloud. I'm afraid Rosedust may very well join us soon." Swanmist fretted. And her mentor did join them quickly, only a few weeks later, leaving Duckflight, Mothwhisker, and Grayshadow alone in a parentless world. Rosedust had embraced Swanmist as she reached the clearing, and then moved on to her mate. Swanmist left. A few days later, she decided to pay a visit to the living Clan.
Swanmist reached her sister and Timbermask as they walked through the forest with the three apprentices.
"Come on, guys, it's practically midday. Catch at least one piece of prey and then I want you to run back to camp. I'll assess your catches there." Timbermask said. Swanmist watched as the apprentices nodded and darted off in different directions, leaving Whitefang and Timbermask standing awkwardly alone on the border. Unsure of what to do, Whitefang watched her paws as she scuffed the dirt floor of the forest. Timbermask cleared his throat, and she looked up. Swanmist gazed at the pair, aware of her mate's peculiar actions. She was glad the two were sort of friends, for it made things much easier while visiting.
"Whitefang, I wanted to talk to you…" He mewed.
"What?" She asked, confused, "Talk about what?"
What indeed. Swanmist wondered.
"I don't-I can't- I don't know how it happened." Timbermask stammered, emerald eyes searching her face.
"How what happened?" Whitefang asked. Swanmist could tell her sister felt stupid, and Swanmist herself was wondering what Timbermask was stammering about.
"I don't know how it happened, it was like, all of a sudden it was just there. You know?" Timbermask mewed pleadingly, as if begging her to understand. Whitefang was lost. Swanmist felt her heart pound irrationally. No, of course not.
"Really, I don't know. I have absolutely no clue what you're trying to say. Or saying." Whitefang said, taking a step back. If she stepped any further, she'd end up on Riverclan territory. Swanmist stood still as stone. Her breath grew shallow. Please, no…
"It's just-" Timbermask inhaled deeply, closing his eyes. When he opened them, it was like he was staring into Whitefang's soul. Swanmist knew that look. She felt as if she might vomit.
No no no
"Just what?" Whitefang squeaked, inching backwards, "Y'know, I think I have to, I mean I gotta go do some, uh, stuff…"
No no no no no no
"I think I love you!" Timbermask blurted out. The forest went quiet.
"Why?!" Swanmist wailed, staring at her mate with hurt in her eyes. Her heart felt as though it had shattered into a million fragments. That was her sister!
"What?" Whitefang asked, dazed. Swanmist howled.
"No! Not ever!" She cried in misery.
"I think I love you." Timbermask repeated, his voice slightly steadier.
"Please, Timbermask, please listen to me! Don't do this!" Swanmist felt tears well up in her eyes, large floppy tears that threatened to spill out over her cheeks.
"Timbermask, I-I'm…I don't think that's how it works." Whitefang stammered. Swanmist felt her heart soften.
"My sister, oh, my sister…" She whispered, watching Whitefang back away slowly from the tom.
"What do you mean that's not how it works? I love you, Whitefang. I think I've loved you ever since we made the truce. Don't-don't you love me?" He asked softly. Whitefang shook her head, and Swanmist felt whole again.
"Timbermask, I don't. You're supposed to love my sister. It was you and Swanmist together, forever. I don't love you. I don't even know if we're friends. Everything you've ever done to me…" Whitefang trailed off, refusing to look at the tabby tom. Swanmist swung her head back and forth during the exchange eagerly.
"Listen to her!" She begged, "Timbermask listen to her, please!"
"You don't want to be my mate." Timbermask said, emotionless, "You don't love me, Whitefang." His emerald eyes were dull now, less alive and passionate than they had been before. Swanmist felt relieved, and she padded over to her mate.
"Don't you remember me?" She whispered. He shuddered slightly at her touch, and she pulled away. "Timbermask?"
"I don't. But…" The pale warrior steeled herself, "I think we could be friends." Swanmist watched Whitefang. Friends.
"Friends." Timbermask repeated. A small flicker of light returned to his gaze. Swanmist refused it.
"No, stop it!" She howled.
"Full friends," Whitefang offered with a small smile. Timbermask dipped his head. Swanmist shook her own vigorously.
"If-if that's what you want, Whitefang. But I'll always be here for you. And if you ever change your mind…" The tabby looked up at her hopefully. Whitefang said nothing. Swanmist felt a rush of gratitude for her sister.
"Thank you," She breathed. Then, she turned to her mate. Her former mate?"
"They'll be wondering where we are if we don't get back to camp." Whitefang meowed quickly, turning away from Timbermask and starting to walk back toward camp. Timbermask followed her. Swanmist was consumed with loneliness as they left. It was then that she remembered she was dead.
The pair walked in silence.
Brightkit and Whisperkit sat, murmuring conspiratorially at the edge of the shadows.
"Why does she not walk to outlook with the other wanderers?" Whisperkit asked in a hushed tone, glancing nervously over her shoulder as if the she-cat were to appear any moment.
"That is akin to asking why a tortured soul lives in solitude. It is their nature." Brightkit replied, his voice equally low.
"Should we tell her?" Whisperkit queried, shuffling her paws nervously in the silt-like sand.
"I'm not sure that is wise," Brightkit frowned.
"You heard Goldenmoon. She will find out eventually. Best to break the news to her gently." Whisperkit argued.
"You and Goldenmoon may be as right or as wrong as any other who meddled with the knowledge of the dead," Brightkit countered, "It is best that we keep her in the dark as long as possible."
"And prolong the pain? Surely-" Whisperkit was silenced by a tortured scream from the darkness behind them. It seemed to writhe and twist in the air, agonizingly horrific in its call, like the caterwaul of a dying hero.
Whisperkit's pelt stood on end and her brother bristled as well as the grief-stricken wail struck their very bones.
Brightkit hissed, his amber eyes wide, "She knows."
I do hope this was up to par. One-Shot reward to my 1000th reviewer, Flutterby000. Congratulations!