LEJP

I was sitting quietly in front of the TV. Well, maybe not quietly. Maybe I was kidding around with Padfoot and Moony. But I wasn't with Lily. She was in our bedroom, attempting to sleep on her 9- months- pregnant stomach. She was due August 2, and it was July 30, around 10 at night. Remus, Sirius and me, James, were joking around about our little Johnny boy Marauder to be. And how dumb it was that the (almost) least mature of the Mauraders was having a kid first. Then again, it was Lily for God's sake.

So, back to sitting in front of the TV. I heard Lily scream in the other room. I ran over. "Lily, Lily, Lily flower, be okay. What happened?" I yelled then whispered as I got closer to my wife.

"James, either little John made me wet the bed, or my water broke. Early. Like...... 5 days early." Lily said hoarsely.

"3 days, flower. And, lets go to the hospital," I whispered to Lily, who began wailing as a cramp went through her, "Pad- Sirius! Get in here. Remus, turn the car over. I don't want to harm the baby accidentally Splinching him.

Sirius came in running. "Help me carry Lily flower to the car. Now." I said tensely.

A scream split through my eardrums, "JAMES! GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT! GET IT OVER WITH I DON'T WANT THIS I REALLY DON'T WANT THIS! JA-MES! GET LI'L JOHN BOY OUT OF MY TUMMY NO-W!" Lily yelled. Another scream.

"Lily don't panic. Lillian, calm down. We need to pick you up." Sirius said seriously for a change and calmly.

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO JUST GET HIM OUT OF MY BODY! IT IS PANIC TIME FOR YOUR INFORMATION! SMART ALEK! YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN THROUGH LABOR CRAMPS AND THEY FEEL LIKE SOMEONE IS HACKING YOU APART FORM THE INSIDE JUST GET IT OUT!!!!" Lily screamed at Sirius. I wisely kept silent as I carried Lily to the car.

Another scream. "James, shut Lily up and calm her down. Sirius... don't break anything and get a wet towel. I will open the backseat up and lay down towels so Lily can remain laying down. Sirius, you get shotgun. James, stay with Lily. I'll drive." Remus rattled off. We all did as he said, working quietly and efficiently in this emergency.

When we got to St. Mungo's, Lily had cussed at Sirius, yelled at me for getting her preggers (she didn't really mean it), and had screamed a minimum of seven times. Her cramps were getting closer to three minutes apart, and I was getting worried.

(Quick A/N. As I am far too young to get preggers and I have never seen anyone in labor, deal with sketchy details. I don't know. Live with it.)

Healers rushed Lily away, and soon after a few shrieks that even we heard two floors down, Sirius, the godfather, Remus, the trusted friend, and I, the dad, were whisked into the delivery room. Our doctor, Dr. Mosse, was there with Lily.

"Shh, Lily girl. It'll all be okay now. Your young man James is here, and you don't have to push for awhile now, darlin'." Dr. Mosse said in her twangy Southern American accent.

"I DONT PUSH YET? WHAT IS UP WITH THAT? I WANT THIS BABY JOHNNY BOY OUT. O-U-T OUT! NOW NOW NOW NOW! JA-A-A-AMES MAKE HER GET IT OUT OF ME!" Lily screamed with all she had. She lay quietly for awhile, out of energy and twitching as cramps rolled through her.

"James, darlin', don't let her push. Your li'l Johnny boy isn't quite ready to come out yet. He needs to get ready, get hisself situated and such. Stop Lily from pushin' James. Please." Dr. Mosse said to me. I walked over to Lily.

"Lily, flower, don't push. That will hurt little John in there. He's not quite ready to be born yet. He just wanted us to get to the hospital so his lovely mummy will have less pain." I murmured to Lily.

"I really want to push. To get him out. Make him ready NOW. And what less pain?"

"We can't help him get ready. Dr. Mosse will tell you when to push. Now, the less pain: Imagine, for a second, we were still in the Potter mansion, and you were delivering Johnny Boy here," I gestured at her tummy, "But, now, replace Dr. Mosse with me, me with Sirius. A hyped me telling everyone what to do, Sirius cracking bad puns to calm you down, and Remmy pacing unhappily outside."

Lily smiled gratefully, "I like it here."

Near midnight on July 30

"Darlin', you're gonna have a contraction in one minute. The next contraction, push with everything you have to get your little boy out," a tired Dr. Mosse said to Lily while I sleepily watched the scene.

Lily's slim body shook familiarly ad her large tummy rippled in a contraction.

"This upcoming one?" Lily said quietly in her musical voice.

"Yes. Push!" Dr. Mosse told her.

I could see the change in this contraction from the last one. Lily's face was screwed up with pain and effort, her thin limbs shook with it, and her belly rolled and pushed and grumbled around harder.

"Good girl. Strong girl. This baby should come out fast. This next one, rest. Then push, then rest. See the pattern, darlin'?"

"Yeh. Should?" Another, weaker contraction.

"If he cooperates, then a fast birth. If not, well, no force on earth can make it any slower, dearie." Dr. Mosse told my weak wife.

I tensed as a "push" wave rolled through Lily. Her face was still screwed up, but mine lit up. "Lils... Lils... I see hair. Our son's hair. It... it... it looks like mine!"

Still in mid- contraction, Lily smiled. Briefly. "Good... grief.... not.... another.... James..... Potter..... in.... my.... lifetime!"

I'll spare you that long, long labor. It all went in a pattern, bits of John Boy appearing, me commenting on them, Lily smiling, and, occasionally laughing her musical laugh. We- that is Dr. Mosse, Lily, and myself- stayed up all night, and, around seven the next day, July 31, all of our little John Boy was out.

Dr. Mosse wrapped him in a blue blanket and placed him in Lily's arms. Then, at my prodding, she woke Sirius, Remus, then left to get Healers to look at Johnny Boy.

"He looks just like you, James. So beautiful. Down to business. Sirius, godfather?" Lily asked.

Sirius looked at us, amazed. "You... me.... John... yes I'm honored. Marauder to be, John aka Shadowtail!"

"Where'd you get Shadowtail?" Lily asked Sirius.

"Well, he's gonna be a fox. Strong, powerful, sly at pulling tricks. Animagus nickname, you know?" Sirius defended himself.

Just then, John's eyes opened. That was the exact, but unspoken moment that the name "John" was taken from him. His emerald eyes, the only Lily- esque trait about him, shone and sparkled, too uncommon to be just John.

"My little hairy Potter boy.... has Lily's eyes!" I proclaimed.

"Wait, what was that?" Remus asked?

"Hairy Potter boy has Lily's eyes?" I repeated.

"Harry Potter. His name." Remus said.

"Perfect." LIly said. I had my doubts, but what Lily wants, Lily gets!

Harry Potter. My beautiful son. Lily's son. Our son.

Hey, sorry for the midway authors note, I really do apologize. I have no clue where this puppy came from. I am a LEJP shipper, and this was just a little quickie. Please don't flame.

I have had Hairy Potter and John Potter sitting in my mind for at least a week now. Thank god for puns and the punny world we live in. (That was for you F8WUZL8!)

Shadowtail came from some fic that I read. If you recognize it, it ain't mine.

Disclaimer: IF Harry Potter were mine, do you think I would be where I am now? Yeah, JKR spends all of her time writing crappy fic oneshots for .

Byeas!

bekeyboo and for those in the know, from gwyneth serena! teehee F8ie!