Thanks to SoundOfHeavenPullingDown for Beta reading!
Author's Note: 8,386 words. That's all I have to say.
Let Go
I sat on the rocks at the edge of the beach, watching my boys play. I watched their unique hair, tousled from the salt water, flash in the sunlight. I watched the taller of the two, who lifted his son into the air before giving him a raspberry on the belly. I smiled at their antics.
I remember the time I met him...
Nine Years Earlier...
These school dances are so overrated, I thought, glancing up from my perch near to punch bowl. I couldn't even remember why I had agreed to come. It might have been the pretty dress, or the promise of free prizes, or maybe even that no one would be able to see my face. Who the hell suggested a masquerade ball? But it was definitely not the dancing. I was uncoordinated. Simple as that.
But then again, maybe it was more than just the dancing. Dancing meant being with boys, and I was not an expert in that field either. All they ever did was hurt. I had never before experienced a man who cared, other than Charlie of course. So, I kept my distance.
I watched people come and go, taking glasses of punch. I even saw the idiot in the devil mask who poured his water bottle into the punch. Judging by the way people were acting, I was certain he didn't pour water in. I was surprised that he wasn't thrown out. We were expected to be classy for this formal, with long dresses and classical Venetian masks. But then again, this is high school.
My mask was starting to itch. I escaped to the bathroom to check on it, mentally rolling my eyes at the gaggle of girls gathered at the mirror, fixing their lipstick and gossiping about who was who. Masks can hide a lot.
"I wonder what Jasper Hale is wearing," a blonde said dreamily. "He's so enigmatic." I untied the black ribbon behind my dark hair and placed the elegant silver and pearl mask on the counter. A web of white and silver glitter surrounded the eyeholes, and there was a small crownlike structure on the top between the arches of the brows. I was really grateful that Alice managed to find it in a small boutique in Port Angeles. The white matched the color of my dress, which also had silver webbing in the bodice. I smoothed out the skirt and checked my face in the mirror. My cheeks were slightly red, probably because of the mask rubbing against my skin. I picked up the mask gingerly, and placed it on my face. I turned to one of the girls who had been there before and asked if she could tie it for me. She did without a word. I left the bathroom, brushing my hair that had been specially curled by Alice away from my face.
I was looking for Alice's golden mask with red around the eyes when someone placed a hand on my shoulder. I jumped, and whirled around. In the dim artificial light, I couldn't make out much of his face. He was wearing a black mask with designs cut out. He removed his hand from my shoulder, opting to offer it to me instead.
"Dance with me?" He said in a voice so lovely, I wanted to bathe in it. I couldn't articulate words, so I nodded hesitantly in response, all of my prior thoughts about men forgotten. Actually, all of my thoughts forgotten. There was just a blank buzzing in my head as he lead me onto the dance floor. When I stumbled clumsily over the hem of my dress, he half smiled at me. I think I melted a little. Damn, I thought this guy is good. And that was the last time my mind spoke to me for some time. My cheeks burned as he placed one hand on my hip and kept my hand in his other. I put my hand on his shoulder, my cheeks burning all the while. I felt electricity thrumming in my veins, initiating wherever we touched. We were silent for a few moments before he spoke again. I almost melted on the spot.
"You look stunning."
"Thank you," I managed to squeak, hiding my face in the conjunction between his neck and shoulder. I felt him gently rest his head on top of mine, and we continued rotating slowly around the spot.
"I haven't been able to take my eyes off of you the entire night. And now, I'm dreading the moment when he takes you away from me again," he murmured.
"Who is he?" I said without a thought. He chuckled.
"Your date. Surely such a beautiful girl would have one, right?" I looked up at him, and he gazed back at me with such intensity. It was like he was reading right into my soul. Again, I was rendered incapable of speech, so I just shook my head.
"Well, I guess I'm extremely lucky then. May I ask your name?" I gained some amount of normalcy and smiled to myself.
"What's yours?"
"Oh, so we'll make this into a questionnaire then?" Again, a beautiful laugh escaped from his lips. I almost felt pathetic because just the sound made me want to melt again.
"I'll answer yours if you answer mine," I stated firmly. I felt him sigh. I think he was about to speak, but was interrupted by the DJ.
"This is the last song for tonight. Gather up your lovers, it's the new TaySwift Song." The puzzling man I was dancing with tightened his grip on me. I was glad because I didn't want to let go.
"Today was a fairytale
You were the prince
I used to be a damsel in distress."
He removed my hand from his shoulder and brought it up to his lips. Tingles spread from his warm mouth all throughout my body, and they remained once he removed them.
Do you ever get the feeling where you just know something, something so powerful and strong, something life changing? Do you ever think that you are so sure of yourself in a feeling, there is no way that you could possibly be wrong? That you have no doubt in your being that you are right? But you don't even know what you're right about? Do you ever ask yourself a series of questions, trying to explain yourself to yourself? I was having one of those moments right now. I just couldn't place what I was right about.
"This is it," I whispered. He nodded, maybe agreeing with me. But agreeing to what?
"Must have been the way you kissed me,
Fell in love when I saw you standing there.
It must have been the way,
Today was a fairytale."
The song ended to a round of applause. To say I was surprised was an understatement-- when do high schoolers have class? I reluctantly stepped away from him, instantly missing our close contact. He didn't let go of my hand.
"May I walk you out?" He asked me hesitantly. I nodded. I wasn't ready to leave him yet.
"Wait, I have to find Alice," I said, suddenly remembering the rest of the world. "She's wearing a gold mask with red around the eyes. He sternly looked around the room, and pointed.
"There." I rose to the tips of my toes and just spotted Alice as part of the throng trying to squeeze through the doorway. A blonde boy had his hand on her shoulder and was smiling down at her. She looked happy, obviously.
"Alice!" I called, trying to get her attention. "Alice! Alice!" I ran towards her, dragging him along behind me. I was not about to be left behind. She never turned around, but was dead set on getting out. I pushed through the crowd, gripping onto the enigma of a man I had danced with. I managed to push through but Alice was gone.
"Crap! She would ditch me for some hot guy to bring to her bed!" I fumed, searching for her to no avail. He squeezed my hand in support, and I smiled at him.
"I can drive you home," he suggested. I almost hit myself upside the head for not thinking of it before. I had the chance to unravel this mystery.
"Um..." I started. All of my worries came flooding back to me. This was a guy. They're known for pretending... they're known for their cunning words to bring girls back to bed. If i go in his car, will I be next? Maybe I would. Do you care? No. He was speaking.
"I mean, I understand if you're uncomfortable. Erm, I didn't mean to... I was just offering, because you need to get home safe, don't you?"
"Alright." I agreed. We walked outside, our hands still intertwined somehow. Lights were threaded through the trees and the sky was cloudless, the moon casting a glow across his face. He was beautiful, inside and out. He led me to his car, a sleek silver one. He turned to me, and brushed a tendril of hair out of my face.
"Is Alice your best friend?" he asked quietly.
"Yes," I answered automatically. He leaned down and kissed my forehead. My breath caught as he moved his fingers into my hair. He trailed his nose down until it was even with my own, and our breath mingled together. I stared wide-eyed into the eyes behind the mask, noticing for the first time their rich green hue.
His lips covered mine in a gentle kiss.
Something snapped inside of me. I was hungry for him, and I needed more than just gentle. I didn't give a damn if he actually cared about me or not. I just wanted him, and I didn't care about the consequences. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back, with all the passion and lust that I felt. He responded eagerly, sucking my bottom lip into his mouth and biting lightly before brushing his tongue over it. I fisted my fingers into his hair, coming across an obstruction. I pulled away from him, confused. My mask fell away from my face; he was holding my mask by the ribbons, having taken it off in the throes of passion. He stepped away and smiled slyly at me.
"Bella Swan," he said, tracing the line of glitter on my mask. He looked up at me before reaching behind his head to untie his own mask.
"Edward Cullen?" I breathed. Oh double crap. He nodded, smiling hugely at me. My father absolutely despised Edward. He was a trouble maker. Though the police knew he wasn't the greatest kid, they only heard rumors and saw the outcome of his acts, never catching him red handed. He was sneaky. Nobody knew he was apparently a gentleman. Many times had I suppressed an interest in him. But what would Charlie say if I brought Edward home with me as my fuck buddy? You're getting ahead of yourself. You just shared a kiss... a hot, passionate kiss, but still. Don't assume anything. I composed myself and smiled back at him, just as big. "Let's get going then, shall we?"
The car ride was mostly silent apart from the strains of classical music coming from the radio.
"Tchaikovsky?" I questioned, quirking a brow at him. He shrugged, not answering. "You know, you don't have to be embarrassed. I like Tchaikovsky. I used to dance and every winter we would reenact the Nutcracker."
"You danced?" Edward asked incredulously.
"Yes, I did, though I didn't last long. I was always tripping. Even when I was ten years old."
"That's adorable," he decided, smiling over at me. My heart melted. "Where do you live?"
"Fauna Lane."
"Okay." We didn't speak for the rest of the drive. Before too long, we turned onto my street. "I would drive you to your house, and I would walk you to your door, but I don't think Chief Swan would appreciate that." I nodded. He was probably right. But he was out the door and opening mine in seconds. "But I will still be a gentleman and I will still kiss you goodnight." With that, he pressed his lips to mine tenderly. Too soon, he pulled away.
"Goodnight, Edward," I said with a dreamy smile on my face.
"Goodnight, Bella. I'll see you soon." He got in his car and drove away. I managed to make it to my house and into my room without much questioning. I secretly hoped I would see Edward again very soon. No matter how much my father would hate it, I loved it more and more.
I was half asleep by the time the noises started.
Plink... plink... plink...
I sat bolt upright. The sounds of a solid object rebounding off the glass of my window were loud enough to pique my curiosity. I tossed my blankets to the side, and tip toed over to my window, being wary of the creaky boards. I looked through the glass, but in the dark I couldn't make out anything. Just then, a small rock came soaring up and hit the glass. I slid the window open, and poked my head out.
"What..?" I had squint to make out the dark shape near the trunk of the tree near my window. "Hey, don't throw that!!"
"Bella, finally! Can I come up?" Edward's voice called up to me.
"Edward? What? How?" I spluttered. I was not expecting to see him outside of school again. But secretly, I was pleased he sought my company. His spontaneity was alluring.
"I can climb," he replied, scoffing as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"The first branch is like, ten feet off the ground."
"More like seven," Edward retorted, before jumping up and catching the branch in his hands. He pulled himself up, and clambered around the tree and up the limbs until he was at my window. "Watch out." I moved out of the way and he leapt into my room, landing quietly on the floor. He straightened up, turned and closed the window.
"You have to be really quiet, because Charlie will kill both of us," I advised him. Edward shrugged and collapsed on my bed. I walked over to him and sat on the edge of the bed, watching him closely. His eyes were closed, his long lashes resting on his smooth pale cheeks. My eyes traveled down to the full shape of his lips, down the column off his neck to his chest. I wished my fingers could follow the path of my eyes.
"I didn't come here to watch you check me out. I came to be with you and to kiss you some more," Edward said, and proceeded to launch himself at me. We were half off the bed, his lips on mine, our legs dangling off the edge. A few moments later, he regrettably pulled away.
"Maybe I should go..." He started, moving to get off my bed.
"No!" I said loudly. "Please, stay...." Whatever had come over me was possessing me. Never before had I felt so strongly to have someone near me. I didn't want him to leave my side-- not now, not ever. I couldn't bear the thought. Pathetic. Pathetic but true.
He crawled back up my bed and rested his head against my headboard. "Come here," he ordered, and I obliged, sitting next to him. He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me into his chest. I exhaled and relaxed into his warm body. He seemed familiar, like I had known him in a prior lifetime. He was like coming home. My eyes closed and I drifted off into a peaceful sleep, with Edward's fingers running through my hair.
Hours, though it seemed like minutes later, I was roused by the daylight streaming through the window. I tried to stretch, but two arms were holding me in place.
Charlie's heavy boots were thudding around in the kitchen downstairs. Any minute he would be upstairs to say goodbye to me before his shift.
"Crap, crap, crap!" I whispered scratchily. I shoved Edward aside, trying to wake him up. "Edward... Edward!!!" I shook him violently. Charlie's boots were heading upstairs. "Wake up!" Edward yawned, stretching languidly. He opened his eyes and smiled complacently at me.
"Good morning, beautiful."
"Edward, hide! My dad is coming in here in like, now!" I whispered frantically. Edward's eyes opened in fear, and he scrambled around in my bed, trying to stand up. He fell to the floor just as the doorknob turned.
"Well, shit," he muttered as Charlie opened the door.
"Morning Bells-- Cullen?" Charlie's eyes narrowed in Edward's direction. "What the hell are you doing in my house? In my daughter's room, no less?"
"We were sleeping," Edward answered calmly.
"Is that what you kids are calling it these days?" Charlie scoffed. I shrunk back into a corner of my room.
"Honestly, sir, no clothes were removed during the night. This was a mistake anyways. I just meant to ask Bella something, and I ended up falling asleep. That's all that happened. I promise you," Edward responded in the same calm voice, strong with his honesty. Charlie watched him for a second. I did too. A mistake?
"Stay away from my daughter," he stated firmly before stomping away. My jaw was on the floor. Edward stared after my father, bewildered. I felt a stinging in the back of my eyes and suddenly I was unfrozen. I looked at Edward.
"A mistake?" I whispered brokenly. Well, shit. If my damn mind hadn't taken a vacation, I wouldn't be in this position. Shit, shit shit.
"Not at all. I had to tell Charlie that to save both of our necks," he replied quietly, brushing his lips against my hair. I pulled away and ran after Charlie to yell at him. My mind didn't make the decision, my heart did. What? Charlie was at his usual spot in front of the television, acting as if nothing happened. I made myself known by grabbing the remote on the coffee table and clicking off the power button. I stood in my power stance-- feet apart, hands on hips, glare directed at Charlie.
"Excuse me, Charlie. I am eighteen years old. So is Edward. You know that I've been good all my life, and I don't lie. So you know that I'm not lying when I tell you that Edward and I did not have sex in my bed last night," I told him plainly. Charlie's thick brown eyebrows were raised.
"Bella, it's not you I don't trust. It's that Cullen boy. He's trouble," he tried to reason with me. But I was possessed by force unbeknownst to me.
"I don't want him to leave," I retorted stubbornly. Charlie chortled.
"You live under my roof, you abide by my rules. Now, where is he?" The stinging behind my eyes returned. Charlie was standing and returning to my room to reiterate his point to Edward.
Get out, now.
Edward was waiting on the stairs, about to take the first step down. He locked eyes with Charlie for a moment before looking at me. His eyes penetrated mine with the deepest sort of gaze, a green sea rippling with emotion.
"Hopefully I won't see you later, Mister Cullen," Charlie growled to Edward before he went back to his television. It was his home. I rushed up the stairs to Edward.
"What's happening to me?" I whispered, the hot tears finally escaping my eyes, cascading slowly down my face.
"What do you mean?" he asked in the same low tone.
"Everything about you draws me in. Never in a million years would I have thought that I really feel something like this. I don't even know what this is. Something good, something sweet. Something important, and I don't want it to go. I don't want it to fade away slowly, or end abruptly. I don't care if it brings me hurt and sorrow, or even if it brings me nothing. I just know that something is happening, and the universe is being righted. Like every event in my life led up to my meeting you. I can't be without you, Edward. I just can't. I know that we're young and naive, I know that this seems impulsive and I know that I've really only known you for less than twenty four hours. But haven't you ever known something was so right, you just can't stay away? I can't be away from you. Please, don't leave..." I finished my monologue with wetness on my cheeks, my eyes watering still. His fingers had been brushing each tear away as they fell. His warm hand remained on my cheek, and he drew me closer. He kissed me lightly.
"I know how you feel," he replied softly. I gave him a watery smile and rested my head on the juncture between his neck and shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me, and we just stood, him holding me.
"I don't hear the front door opening and closing," Charlie called from the other room, and the moment was broken. Obnoxious, self absorbed... I cut myself off before I started a mental rant. Edward let me go, and walked towards the front door. I followed him like a lost puppy. The door was open.
"I'll see you in school tomorrow. I promise." I nodded. He walked away. The door was closed. I walked up the stairs. Then I was in my room. The door was locked. I lay down on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I didn't move.
The rest of Sunday passed. I didn't move from my bed, not even to eat dinner. Call it an overreaction. I would. Pathetic. Falling for a boy. Pathetic. Liking it. Even more so.
Finally, it was Monday again. I was excited for this Monday. I would see my Edward again. I smiled to myself. I have got to get over myself.
Shouldn't you pee on him? Mark your territory? A little Bella inside my head snorted. Or better yet, let him make you cum. Suddenly she was wearing racy black lingerie. I was appalled. No little people inside of me told me things like that. I was, regrettably, a pure eighteen year old girl. A virgin. Never even been touched.
Unless you count that one time when that guy grabbed your boob. What was his name? James. What a disgusting sex fiend. You heard the rumors about him. Don't deny he was disgusting. That's why I haven't made my appearance until now. It's not that you haven't had luck with boys, you just won't let them in. You're afraid to feel anything because you grew up with a police chief father and your wreck of a mother. Well, she was right about that. Charlie scared everyone, and Renee was always calling me, either excited about her new boyfriend or depressed because she and that boyfriend had broken up. Only creeps were willing to approach you. You're afraid of hurting others and yourself. Of course my mind would explain to me something I was already well aware of.Think of me as sort of your conscience. I just know things. But now none of those things matter. I tell you what you desire. And you desire Edward. The little Bella was smirking at me. God, I was going crazy; I was talking to a personification of my libido! I pushed thoughts of her away and opened my eyes. Surprisingly, sunlight was streaming through the window. The sky in this town was generally the shade of an dull fork. Grey.
And since it was May, it would be around sixty five degrees. Warm. An excellent day to dress like a girl, for the object of my desire, as little Bella had so aptly described it. I stretched out my tired limbs, and padded over to my closet.
A green cotton dress with a tight bodice and flowy skirt, sent from Renee down in Florida. No.
A blue and white striped skirt, also sent from Renee down in Florida. No.
A black skirt that was supposed to be paired with a shirt with the behind of a zebra on by Renee while I was visiting her down in Florida. Definitely not.
And then I remembered. I snuck in this feminine piece-- God, I sound like Alice-- while shopping with Renee during a visit. She said it was something a small girl would wear. But I liked it anyways. It was a tank dress, with pink flowers on top, a band of brown, and a pink tiered skirt. I knelt on the ground to find those brown shoes Alice had forced on me. They would look nice... I hoped. I grabbed the plain white sweater I wore often from the rocking chair next to my closet, and headed to the bathroom to start my morning routine.
Afterwards, I hurried down the stairs, desperate to leave. I didn't speak to Charlie when I passed him, but made a beeline for the kitchen. Two granola bars later, an extra bar in my backpack along with a water bottle, I lifted my keys from the hook.
"Bye!" I called, and closed the door behind me. I was in my rusty old truck and at school as quickly as possible.
And there he was. Leaning against his silver car, surrounded by a gaggle of girls. His plain black v neck and jeans made him all the more attractive. His bronze hair was ruffled by the breeze, and his green eyes were searching, not paying attention to the females clawing him.
His eyes were searching for mine. And then, they met. Good morning, Edward, little Bella crooned, her eyes full of lust. He pushed through the flutter of girls, a broad smile growing on his face as he approached me. I found my legs helping close the distance.
"Bella," he said into my hair, kissing it. "I missed you." His voice was nearly a moan. Little Bella was rejoicing in her lair. I giggled along with her.
"How could you miss me so much?" I teased, ruffling his hair. "Well, I missed you too." His hands trailed from my neck where they had been resting down the sides of my torso and along my hips, stopping at the hem of my dress.
"You look exceptionally lovely today," he purred into my ear, giving the dress a little tug.
The warning bell rang. I frowned at the brick building trying to bring me away from Edward. He planted a kiss on my lips, and asked where my first period was. He walked me there like the gentleman he was. Another kiss, and he was gone. Little Bella watched him walk away sadly. Pathetic. My mind whispered. We don't care. Edward is nice. He'll stick around, little Bella argued.
Time progressed. Within two weeks, he officially asked me to be his girlfriend. We still weren't actually supposed to be together, according to Charlie, but it was no matter. He was still around, and I wasn't hurting. I was happy.
One day in late May, Edward convinced me to skip the last two periods of the day and venture with him into the forest. I had been begging him to take me somewhere where we could be alone, to have some privacy for once. When he proposed the offer, I readily agreed. He made me happy. Though I was uncoordinated, with Edward's help, we kept a good pace. He showed me a beautiful meadow. It was perfectly circular, with small purple and yellow flowers springing up in the lush green grass. He's so beautiful, I had thought with a smile and a strange sensation washed over me. I had an epiphany. Little Bella in a white dress was showing me a book she had; though the book was part of my mind, I couldn't place where I had seen it before. There was a large picture of a red rose, along with a definition. Red means romantic love, little Bella explained, and a big grin had spread across her face. No, that's crazy, I'm not in love with Edward. Definitely very attracted... but love? No. Little Bella had rolled her eyes at me, then flipped the page in the book. There was a purple rose with a definition: Fallen in love at first sight. Her grin had transformed into a prominent smirk. I mentally shook my head. No, that's not true. It's lust, isn't it? I pushed her away. Get a grip, Bella. We spent the rest of the day in that meadow, just kissing and talking and laughing, until sunset. Then I had to return home. He did too.
Oddly enough, both Edward and I had decided to attend University of Redlands in California long before we met, myself for psychology and Edward for biology. Obviously, fate had brought us together.
May faded into June. I wish that I could say that Edward and I spent all of our spare time at the meadow. But that was not the case. We were both busy with end of the year preparations, especially graduation. Alice hosted a graduation party at her house after the fact. That blond boy she had left the dance with was named Jasper Hale. They said they were in love and they were romping like bunnies. Typical high school behavior. But Edward and I were atypical. We hadn't even discussed it yet. Either topic. Little Bella often protested, but there wasn't anything I could do about it.
Charlie cried at graduation. He said he would miss me. We made up. He still didn't want me with Edward though. Edward whispered in my ear to meet him at the meadow at eleven tonight. Again, I readily agreed. Because he is Edward, and I am Bella. Before I left Charlie he warned me to not drink anything unless I poured it myself, and not to accept any offers from anyone. That included Alice. He worried too much. I reminded him that I would be staying over at Alice's house after the party. He nodded. I left.
For me, the party started off boring. And then I found Edward. With an enormous smile plastered on his face, he led me to the makeshift dance floor. He took my hand and placed it on his heart. It was thudding hard and fast. Little Bella giggled when those adjectives floated through my mind. I mentally rolled my eyes at her. Edward placed his hand on my hip, and I automatically put my free hand on his shoulder. He started the same step that we had done at the dance last month. But this time, the music was his heartbeat.I closed my eyes and lost myself in the music with Edward.
At ten, Edward excused himself. He said he had to do something important, and he'll tell me soon. I didn't want him to go, but I pushed aside my selfishness and shooed him away. I wandered over to Alice, who hugged me tightly, complaining that we need to spend more time together. I nodded my head, agreeing. She was right... but I'd rather spend my time with Edward. And it's not like she had made time for me. She was always with Jasper.
At ten thirty, I disengaged myself from Alice, saying that Charlie wanted me home. She let me leave, only with the promise that we would get together again soon. Once in my car, I sped... at least, I drove as fast as the damn truck would go... towards the forest in which the meadow was hidden.
I could find my own way to our meadow. It was engrained in my brain from the first and only time we went. It was just as beautiful in the moonlight as it was in the sunlight. I lay down in the center of the meadow, staring up at the clear sky. It was beautiful. My mind wandered to Edward. Why did he ask me to come? Was there anything he wanted to tell me? I was hopeful. Hopeful that I wouldn't be let down. Hopeful that he would love me too. Because it was true.
I am in love with Edward Cullen. Maybe my proclamation was fast, but I couldn't help myself. I wasn't about to lie.
My heart was pounding rapidly, anxious for him to come so he could answer my questions. I waited.
And waited... and waited. I wished I had a watch so I knew how long I was waiting. I sighed, closing my eyes tiredly. A gentle breeze lulled me into a light slumber.
Muted light streamed through the leaves of the overhanging trees. I was uncomfortable from falling asleep on the ground. My back cracked multiple times as I stretched, groaning. My eyes fluttered open and I took in my surroundings. It was just dawn, and I wasn't alone. My eyes met his green ones and narrowed.
"I waited here for you," I accused scratchily. Edward crawled over to my side. I sat up and crossed my arms across my chest. "And you didn't come. Why didn't you come, Edward? Too busy with everyone else?" I felt almost like my heart was crying. The little Bella inside me was torn. She knew things, but at the same time felt things. You love him, you love him, she whispered to me. I thought about it. Time and time again, I had denied feelings for anybody. I tried to with Edward, but I couldn't lie to myself. So I indulged in him, and what do I get? Hurt, like I should have expected.
"I know and I'm so sorry," Edward murmured, moving closer. "Things didn't go according to plan." I raised a brow, waiting for an explanation. "I can't explain in words." He leaned forward and brushed his lips against mine. And just like that, he was forgiven. I didn't want to. I was scared. He had hurt me, like I should have been expecting. But I let him in, and he was burrowed deep in my heart. Because he is Edward and I am Bella. Edward who makes Bella weak in the knees. Edward who makes Bella's heart race. Edward who knew exactly what Bella wanted. Bella who loved Edward. There was no trace of denial for me. All I could do now is wait for his decision. His decision to hurt more, or to not.
"Bella, are you with me?" Edward was gazing at me with concern. I blinked, nodding slightly. He smiled at me, but I kept my face void of emotion. "I wanted to give you something." With that, he sat back on his knees and dug into his pocket. He pulled out a sterling silver ring with some diamonds encrusted in the band and a sapphire in the center, and offered it to me.
"It's a promise ring. Read the inscription." I squinted and read the inscription he indicated. Promise. Together. Forever E and B. "Bella, I'm in love with you, and have been since that night at the dance. I want to be with you forever. I can promise that I will never feel this way about anybody else. It's a little early to actually propose, but think of this as a predecessor. Will you accept the ring? Do you love me too?" Inside, little Bella was doing a dance and chanting I told you so! My mask broke. A small smile gradually spread across my lips.
"I love you too, Edward. Yes, I will promise myself to you. Forever." I was nothing but weak around Edward, and finally, I was okay with that. I had allowed myself to be with him, and that was all that I wanted, and he wanted it too. Edward slipped the ring onto my left fourth finger.
(And now the reader spots a yellow road sign that says WARNING: LEMON)
He looked straight into my eyes and before leaning in and kissing me deeply. His fingers wound into my hair, gluing our lips firmly together. Weak as I was with him, I didn't object; instead, I thrust my tongue between his lips, finding purchase on his own. Together, they tangled and danced to the beat of our passion. His hands reached around my back to unzip the pretty sea colored dress that Alice had picked out for me, as usual. Slowly, torturously, the zipper was pulled down, and I managed to pull my arms out of the arm holes. Edward slid the material down my body and I shifted so that the dress could be fully removed.
"Beautiful," he murmured, gazing reverently at my half naked form. I was grateful for the two undergarments that I was wearing, and they were even Alice approved. A navy blue satin bra with white lace along the edge matched the midnight blue boy shorts, also edged by white lace. I blushed, and tried to smile at Edward, but it came out as more of a grimace. Just because I loved him with all my heart-- For a while, yes little girl, you were right... little Bella stuck her tongue out at me, but smiled proudly. Strip that beautiful hunk of man meat, she urged. I looked again into those green eyes that had drawn me in from the moment of first meeting.
A fierce battle was raging behind them. I could clearly tell the different between the two sides-- one was demanding I be worshipped and shown how loved I was, and the other side was demanding I be taken. Little Bella had obviously chosen her team, and was begging to be taken, love be damned. She... I... knew how badly I needed Edward. I knew he loved me. I wanted him to want me.
And then I did something outlandishly bold-- I reached behind my back and unclasped my bra, allowing the satin material to slide down my arms to cuddle with my dress.
And the battle was won. Lustward won. Thankfully, little Bella crooned, fanning herself before trudging up an unknown set of stairs to watch from the vantage point of my own eyes.
As Edward launched forward to capture my lips again, I pressed my hand to his chest to stop him. Confusion and rejection immediately splashed across his face as he leaned back to look at me.
"It's unfair that you are wearing just too, too many clothes," I explained huskily. The dark lust returned to his eyes as he quickly unbuttoned the jacket-- the parents would slaughter him if any of that got ruined-- and his shirt. I thanked everybody up above-- God, Allah, Jesus, Brahman, Zeus and anyone else up there I forgot-- that there was nothing below that shirt, and I finally was able to touch the cut expanse of his torso.
My hands roamed over the ripples of his chest, coursing under the apex of his arm and torso to trail my nails lightly over his back. I watched his face for his reaction-- his eyes rolled back into his head as his lips parted. I smirked, leaning in to kiss him at the edge of his jaw. His strong hands grabbed my face and disengaged my lips from his jaw, moving them to his own lips. Sensual and full of need, nibbling and sucking, licking and pulling, our kissing fueled a fire deep inside of me. I felt the boy shorts grow uncomfortably damp as his hands trailed down to my breasts and my alert nipples. I immediately started on his belt, frantically trying to unlatch it to no avail. With a chuckle, Edward pulled away from me and took off his belt and unbuttoned his pants himself.
That's a good boy.
Until now, I hadn't noticed the rather large bulge in his pants, but in his dark blue boxers-- coincidence that we were matching?-- not-so-little Eddie was saluting me in greeting. I blanched, unable to tear my eyes away from that huge... thing.
"Bella, are you alright love?" Edward asked concernedly, all feral need fleeing from his eyes at that moment. I gulped and nodded, extricating my eyes from... the thing. He lifted my chin up so I would look him in the eye... but I kept my eyes averted. "Bella, look at me." Finally, I complied. "Do you want this?"
With fire and that newfound boldness I answered "I want you, Edward. I need to feel you inside of me. I know you love me, but I need to know that you want me. Show me you want me." And the predatory look of desire returned to his eyes. His fingers nimbly dipped into the rim of my panties, and he found my wet and waiting lady parts.
"God, Bella, you are so wet for me... God, I just wanna get inside you and just... mmm..." Edward trailed off, circling a part of me that I didn't really know existed. Well, it's not like you looked down there. I mean, the only action your pussy has gotten is a tampon, Little Bella reasoned from her spot behind my eyes. Should have looked it up. Oh well.
"Edward," I whimpered, thrusting my hips up, begging for more. He was urged on my my movement, and slipped a finger into me. I moaned loudly at the new feeling. Definitely nothing like a tampon. My head lolled back upon my shoulders as his thumb worked that little nubby thingy and his index finger joined his middle finger inside me. "Edward," I called again, my eyes fluttering shut. He removed his fingers, and before I could groan in complaint, my panties were removed and something cooler replaced his fingers. I opened my eyes and glanced down just long enough to see his head nestled between my thighs.
Everything I had heard about oral sex I thought was disgusting. Honestly, who wants to lick the place where people pee? Not I, said the fly... or in this case me. But now... I was not about to complain. The sensations roaring through my body were almost too much to handle. I knotted my fingers into his hair and pulled him away. He protested silently, but I shook my head.
"Let me touch you," I demanded softly, pulling down his boxers. His dick jumped happily at it's release from the confines of material. I was still nervous, but as I grabbed the surprisingly smooth muscle in my hand, I lost it. All the while, I was thinking this is my Edward. I want to do this for him. "Um... how...?" I asked him awkwardly. Edward laughed quietly, placing his hand over mine. He directed my fingers over his long, pulsing and indefinitely hard length, setting a pace that would pleasure him. Once I went too high up, and grazed what I could only call the helmet head. This elicited an even louder moan. But I decided that just my warm hand couldn't be enough. If his tongue on me brought such pleasure, then wouldn't it be the same for him?
Tentatively, I leaned down and sucked just the tip into my mouth. I peeked up at my Edward through my lashes, only to see him looking down at me with wide eyes.
"Is that alright?" I asked.
"Fuck Bella, that is more than alright," he conceded, before dropping his head back. I returned my attention to his penis, swirling my tongue over the tip. I let my hand drop to the base and rest there. He leaned on one of his hands, placing the other in my hair to guide me down over the rest of him. "Keep your hand moving in time with your head," Edward advised, and I listened. "Ungh... fuck... Bella... shit..." Strangled words fell from his plump lips, as he pulled my hair lightly in ecstasy. I felt myself grow more turned on, more hot wetness pooling between my legs. "Bella, I'm gonna come.... stop stop stop!" He forcefully removed himself from my mouth, panting.
"I need to be inside of you... I brought a condom just in case," Edward admitted sheepishly. I nodded, and watched as he found the foil square in his pocket, tore it open and rolled the latex over himself. I was salivating.
Edward returned to me. "Lie down," he directed, softly kissing me on the lips. I complied, and he hovered over me.
"Show me you want me, Edward."
"Tell me if I hurt you." I nodded. With that, Edward pressed the helmet shaped tip of his penis into me. It was only a little painful. Again, I nodded, notifying him that I was ready for more.
"Want me to go in slow or fast?" He asked. I laughed, and the slight sensation of part of him inside me and the movement of my body answered the question for me.
"Fast. I need you inside me now." In one fluid motion, Edward was sheathed inside me, as much as I could handle. I cried out. The pain was more unexpected than painful, but Edward didn't know that.
"Oh my God, Bella, are you alright? Shit, I've hurt you!" He started to withdraw, but I locked my heels behind his back.
"No. Stay," I gritted out, trying to adjust myself to the feeling. He nodded, biting his lip in anticipation. Finally, the pain abated some. "Alright. Move," I directed. He slid himself slightly out, then back in. Again, there was pain, but that new sensation of pleasure accompanied it. "More," I breathed. Again, he complied. In an out, we slowly set a rhythm.
"Bella... I don't know if I can take this..." Edward said after a few minutes of slow movement. "I need to really... move... feel... I mean, I don't want to..." I silenced him with my lips. I bit his plump bottom one, then sucked it into my mouth, simultaneously rocking my hips forward at a faster tempo. Faster and faster we moved until our hips were rolling like in a tango. I felt something coiling at the pit of my stomach, a tightening. I found the more movement, the tighter it wound. The feeling was absolutely fascinating.
"Bella, I think... I'm going to cum!" Edward cried out, his fast thrusts becoming erratic. as he gazed into my eyes and crashed his lips to mine. We maintained eye contact, and I saw the exact moment when he finally fell into oblivion. The green of his eyes glazed over for a few moments as his movement slowed and his lids fluttered shut. I smiled warmly at him. Though I had not fallen over the edge into oblivion with him, the knowledge that I could send him over the edge satisfied me.
"I love you, Edward," I reminded him after he had pulled himself out of me and collapsed on the ground by my side. I was able to ignore the dull throb between my legs.
"I love you too, my beautiful, beautiful Bella." Edward placed a searing kiss on my lips. We snuggled close to each other, basking in our newfound oneness for some time before the day caught up with us.
"We should go back," I sighed, looking up at the sun directly above us.
"Yeah..." he agreed. We pulled on our respective clothes. I laughed at Edward as he tried to decide where to put the used condom with a look of disgust on his face. He ran into the trees with it, tossed it somewhere and returned to me.
Hand in hand, we left our meadow that would be special to us forever for more than one reason.
"Bells!" After all these years together, his voice still had the same effect on me. Edward scooped me up from the sand, kissing me smack on the lips and twirling me around.
"Ew, daddy, why do you kiss mommy? Kissing is gross!" Anthony complained, tugging on Edward's swim trunks. Edward chuckled.
"Because I love your mommy with all my heart. One day, you'll find a pretty lady you want to kiss too." Anthony made a face.
"Girls are yucky," he reasoned. "I don't ever want to kiss a girl!"
"One day, you'll be surprised. She could be right in front of your eyes!" Anthony looked around. We were alone on the beach.
"Daddy, there's no one else here," he stated firmly. Edward and I exchanged a glance and a smile.
"He didn't mean it literally, dear," I said breezily, sighing into my husband's chest. "What he means is you might not know it yet, but some time you will see clearly." Confusion was written on Anthony's face. Soon, he lost interest and trotted down back to the water's edge.
"Come on, let's go swimming!" he cried eagerly, before splashing into the shallow waters.
"Oh dear, let's hope that he's lost some of that clumsiness that he inherited from me," I mused, watching my son. Immediately after my words were spoken, Anthony tumbled face first into the water.
"Shit," Edward swore, taking off to help him up. "Anthony, you need to be more careful!" I sat down on the beach, watching again as the two loves of my life interacted with each other.
I was waiting for the right time to announce the third.
Author's Note: Hello! I hope you that when you took the time to read this, you liked it. It was some hard work. Please review and tell me what you think! And no, I will not be continuing this... because there is nothing left to continue. Heehee!