Characters/Pairings: Leah,Sam,Emily... maybe some Jacob later...? (Leah/Jake are awesome squared)

Spoilers: All the books. Might follow the epilogue of Eclipse, but will probably deviate from whatever was established in the first chapter of Breaking Dawn, if you've read it

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to the awesomely awesome Stephenie Meyer. I'm just playing with them a little, but I'll return them in one piece, promise. Title borrowed from the song "Almost Lover" by A Fine Frenzy.

A/N: This story has nothing to do with my other one, "Bring on the Rain." Starts when Sam breaks up with Leah, ends... I don't know yet. We'll see. I'll try and write/update as frequently as I can, but I have a short attention span, and I'm also working on another story, a sequel of sorts to "Bring on the Rain," so yeah, I've got two fics going at once. I'm trying to follow canon as closely as possible (with the Breaking Dawn exceptions mentioned under 'Spoilers') but if anybody who has read the books more closely than I have notices discrepancies, just assume I did it on purpose, 'kay? Haha. Thanks. And I know this story has been done a zillion times, but oh well, here's a zillion and one.

PS: To anybody reading this who reviewed "Bring on the Rain," seriously: Thank you. I really, really appreciated the comments that I got on that one. It sounds cheesy, but it really meant a lot to me. So thank you! : )

I can not go to the ocean
I can not drive the streets at night
I can not wake up in the morning without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Do I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?
-"Almost Lover," A Fine Frenzy

Her heart hurt.

The full moon shone brightly through the window of her dark room, casting shadows on the walls. Night was the only time she left her curtains open anymore. She didn't need the sun. It had been uncharacteristically sunny in La Push the last few weeks, even for late summer. She swore the sun came out only to mock her. The moon was alright, though. The moon had always looked a bit... sad to her. She knew sad well.

Leah stared out the window, hardly blinking, never flinching, barely even breathing, clutching Mr. Teddy in her hands. The worn and faded stuffed bear with buttons for eyes hadn't left the shelf since she was nine. Seeking solace in a toy made her feel like a child and a little foolish, but she didn't know what to do with her hands, so she remained, clutching Mr. Teddy tightly to her chest.

A month. That was how long she'd sat in this position. She would get up when her mother and father forced her to come down stairs and eat dinner, or to take the occasional shower, or go to the bathroom. But mostly she sat and stared, always in the dark.

The first two and a half weeks, Emily had sat and stared with her; not talking, just holding her hand, or hugging her tightly and smoothing her hair when she couldn't hold back the tears.

Emily hadn't been to see her in a week and a half. In the back of her mind, Leah knew perhaps she should question this, but she was tired. Thinking about Sam was draining.

It was almost the middle of June. She was officially a senior. She should have been outside, going to parties or the beach with her friends. She should have been looking forward to her last year of high school. To prom. But it all seemed rather irrelevant now.

She thought only of Sam. Her rational mind knew that he'd broken up with her a month ago, but it felt like a day. One long, sunless, endless, terrible day. Time meant nothing.

The entire thing was ridiculous. She'd tried to make sense of it, she really had. But it was no use. Hadn't she been everything for him; all he needed? She'd stuck by him, even after he'd disappeared for two weeks. He refused to tell her anything, tried to push her away, but she'd pushed right back. Even though he never told her what had happened, she stayed with him, stayed strong for him, whatever he was going through, and she thought they were better for it. For nearly two months, it was almost as if they were back to the old Sam and Leah.

But then it all shattered.

It was the same week Emily came to visit. One day he meets her favorite cousin, the next, he crushes her.

He stood in front of her on her family's porch, never meeting her eyes, saying things to her she never thought she'd hear.

"...I'm sorry Leah, but I can't do this...I never meant for this to happen...I can't explain it, you wouldn't understand...I don't want to hurt you, but I don't have a choice...We can't be together anymore..."

She fought, screamed, begged, pleaded, cried until she thought her eyes would bleed. She held fast to his arm, told him to stop being ridiculous. Wasn't he the boy who'd sworn he loved her? Wasn't he the boy who'd taken her to his senior prom? Who held her during scary movies and made wishes on stars with her on cool summer nights? Wasn't he the one she'd lost her virginity to; the one who was saving to give her a diamond ring after her high school graduation?

His face turned redder and redder, and it was growing harder for him to stay composed, until he exploded, shaking her from his arms.

"I just don't love you anymore!"

She immediately recoiled as if she'd been burned. Guilt washed over Sam's face as he watched her shrink away from him.

"Leah... I'm so sorry..."

He tried to touch her, hold her, give her comfort before he shattered her completely. She stumbled away from him, eyes wide with devastation, shrieking at him to keep his hands off her.

She screamed at him, get out, over and over until her voice was gone and her head throbbed. He finally retreated, defeated and guilt ridden. She crumbled to the floor.

Her father tucked her into bed that night, and her mother kissed her forehead and handed her Mr. Teddy. Their words of comfort fell on deaf ears. Emily could barely contain her fury at Sam, and slept in Leah's bed that night, holding Leah tightly to her chest, as though holding her tightly enough would keep her from falling apart. Somewhere in the background she could hear Seth on the phone with Jacob Black, swearing with as much conviction as the preteen could muster that he was going to kill Sam Uley. Leah didn't sleep that night.

That had been a month ago.

She should have been planning a perfect future. Instead, she just sat.