Disclaimer: I own nothing. The only thing I own is my cell phone. Too bad my parents can take that. Never mind, I own nothing.
A/N-This story randomly came to me in gym. I would like to thank Erin for the title. I based my whole story off it. This isn't one of my normal Emmett stories; it won't be like them at all.
FYI: Nessie is living with Jake and the pack on the Rez. Post BD One-Shot
Enjoy!
Emmett Plays with Matches
EMPOV
Alice, Jasper, Edward, and Bella were hunting in like Canada or something. It was the perfect time to pull the ultimate prank. Nobody with powers was home. This would be good.
3 Days Before
EMPOV
Dang! Alice was mad! I had accidentally destroyed her one of a kind shirt, and it really was an accident.
How are you supposed to know that sharks eat anything? I took it to the beach because I wanted to see what Alice would do. I went swimming with sharks and it came out of my pocket. The sharks ate it. I guess the red attracted it.
Alice said she would get her revenge. I was freaking out. It was only an accident, but she could do some pretty horrible things to me.
I was hiding in the woods until she cooled down. I came home and my jaw dropped. My jeep was a huge, smoldering mass of metal. Alice. She destroyed my car.
I broke down the door into the house, tipped a couch, and crushed the TV. There she was smiling like an evil little pixie. I pounced and Jasper hit me in midair.
"I'm going to rip you to pieces!" I screamed at Alice
At that second Carlisle and Esme came in to Jasper, Edward, and Rosalie struggling to restrain me.
"Emmett calm down!" Carlisle shouted at me
"What is the matter with you?!?!?!?" Esme shouted "My house is ruined!"
"So's my Jeep!" I screamed. I broke away and lunged at Alice again. This time it was Bella and Carlisle I met in the air. Alice was cracking up, and Esme was clearing all the broken wood and couch pieces.
"Emmett calm down or you will never see any car again!" Carlisle warned
I calmed down for a minute and sat on the floor. Jasper and Edward were still guarding me; stupid pixie lovers.
"I will look at your jeep if you promise to stay put." Carlisle said
"Fine." I grumbled
He went and looked then ran back in the house.
"Alice Cullen!" He shouted "Did you do that to Emmett's Jeep?"
"Yes." She said meekly
"Why?" Carlisle asked incredulously
"He destroyed my one of a kind designer shirt."
"Is that true Emmett?" He asked
"Yes." I mumbled quietly "It was an accident though."
"Is that true Alice?"
"Yes." She said even more quietly
"Then I have your punishments." Carlisle said "Alice, no shopping for one month."
A look of horror crossed Alice's face.
"I have Emmett's punishment." Esme said
I wasn't that afraid of Alice compared to Esme. Whatever she had in store for me was bad. She looked mad. Beyond mad actually; she looked furious. I had never been that scared in my long life.
"Emmett." Esme started in a deathly calm voice "Since you destroyed my home you will not get to get a new car, or even drive a car for that matter, until I buy you a new car.
That was awful. No car.
"How long will that be?" I asked quietly
"Until I'm good and ready." Esme spat
Back to Current Time
EMPOV
Now they were gone and I would get my revenge. Alice would pay for my poor Jeep. I made sure Carlisle had left for work and Esme and Rose were shopping.
I crept into Alice's room. I walked to the closet and pulled out all of her pink clothes. I was going to take all of her clothes, but there was way too many.
I took the clothes to the backyard and made a huge stack. I pulled the matches out of my pocket.
It's pretty sad really; I was an immortal vampire and I couldn't even light a match. I was on my last match and Carlisle would be home soon. It sparked. I lit the pile. Then it happened.
The wind picked up and the flames blew the 10 feet to Alice's Porsche. I meant to get back, but if I ruined her car she wouldn't hesitate to rip me up and burn the pieces. I ran to try and save the car.
I was too late. The car blew up and I got covered in soot.
Of course my luck went from awful to the end of the world. Edward's Volvo pulled in at the same time as Carlisle's Mercedes, and Rosalie's BMW.
Everyone stormed out. Jasper, Edward, Carlisle, Bella, Rosalie, and Esme had to hold Alice to keep her off me. She was beyond furious.
"EMMETT MCCARTY CULLEN!!!!" Alice screeched "YOU DESTROYED MY CAR!! I WILL RIP YOU TO BITS AND BURN THE PIECES ON THE BONFIRE IN THE BACKY-AAAAAAAHHHHHHH- MY CLOTHES!! EMMET WILL DIE!!!!"
Jasper and Edward gripped her tighter as she whipped Bella off her arm to the ground. Esme helped her up and Bella re-gripped Alice. Carlisle tossed me his keys and told me to get out of the country.
"Hurry Emmett!" Rosalie screamed
I caught the keys, started the car and fled to the South.
I had been staying in Cancun for about two weeks when Carlisle called. He said Alice was calmer, had a new Porsche, and I could come home.
I checked out and headed home. When I got there, I came to the living room.
"Emmett!" Rosalie said as she kissed me "I missed you."
"I missed you too." I mumbled into her "Two weeks is a long time." She chuckled as Edward cleared his throat.
"Esme and I decided." Carlisle said as we sat down "You and Alice will not have any punishment. You have both been punished enough. You can go buy anew car whenever you want."
"Awesome." I said as I tossed him his keys
"Now," Esme said "What have we learned from this?"
"Never leave your children home alone." Carlisle said
"If your husband is leaving, go with him." Rosalie offered
"Lock your closet." Alice said blankly
"When going hunting, make sure to leave somebody with a power behind." Bella said
"Care for your car, you never know how long it'll have." I said
"Don't get Esme mad." Jasper said, remembering her anger
"Don't let small children play with matches." Edward chuckled
"I'm not a small child." I argued
"You have the intelligence of one."
Review!!!
If you review I'll send you part of my other story as a preview.
Reviewing makes the world a better place. This is because when you review it makes me happy. When I'm happy I make others happy. This chain continues and the world is a better place.
Make the world a better place and review!