Chapter One

The train ride from London had been as somber as the crowds at the station. The returning students made eye contact and exchanged conversation by nods and hand gestures more than the gleeful shouts and embraces of the previous years I remembered. Admittedly, I hadn't always made it to Hogwarts on the train but this trip was as far from normal as I had ever seen. Oh, there were still embraces, but they were quiet, and still nervous, and even some fathers had tears in their eyes as they put their children on the train. I wanted to say something; that everyone should be happy, that the Dark Lord was dead, that there was nothing to fear anymore, I should know, I watched him die. But I just didn't get the impression that anything I could say was going to make any difference to the generalized feelings hanging in the air, like a fog.

My name is Harry Potter, I have the unfortunate epithet of 'the boy who lived', and that tag has experienced resurgence in popularity since the battle at Hogwarts. I hesitate to even mention it, I'd like to think that if I give it as little space as possible in this journal that I will not empower the memory of it. And at the root of that is why I started this journal in the first place. I figure that enough lies have been written about me over the last seven years. Not that I think that I'm that important a person, but I got to thinking that someone should record the truth of what happens to me now. And who better? Well, Hermione would probably be a better author, but she has her own life now, and part of me suspects that she, and my best friend Ron, would prefer to be free to live their own lives finally, not ones that are forced to be centered around me. I want to give them that gift, so I'll write it myself. It doesn't have to be good, and I have no illusions that it will be some earth shattering work that changes the world. But it will be the truth, even if it'll be a rough draft of that.

So forgive me if my continuity strays, I'll try to keep things in chronological order, and if I do happen to forget something I'll make sure that it's obviously a flashback sequence; or at least I'll try.

Now, back to the train station. I met up with Ron and Hermione and Ron's sister Ginny, who is my girlfriend. Over the summer we had a lot less time together than we had hoped to have. There was just so much to do cleaning up after the Death Eaters. I wanted to get Grimmauld Place purged of the Black memories. And by that I mean I needed to get everything out of there associated with the Black family; everyone but my Godfather Sirius. Those portraits screamed bloody murder as I hooded them and took them down. I had them shipped to the Ministry, figuring they might have some use for them. It had taken weeks to undo all the wards and hexes on the place, even with help of the Aurors. I had agreed with Arthur and Molly Weasley that it wasn't a safe place for Ginny to be, even though she had more than proved herself a capable witch. I still have a few bruises for my trouble from the booby traps. They weren't thrilled about me doing it either, but they don't have any say over what I do; not that I don't value their opinions, but I'm eighteen now, an adult, and I needed to do this. It was closure, and it was a way to reclaim my life. I'm not sure if Ginny has forgiven me yet. It's hard to tell with everyone being so grave and all.

Anyways, I'm sure I'll have more to write about that later. The four of us got a compartment to ourselves, and I really hoped that once we pulled out of the station that things could go back to being more normal. I sat by the window and looked out at the platform, not seeing anything in particular, waiting for the whistle that would signal our leaving. A shock of white blond hair forced me to focus.

"Well damn." I muttered, which drew Ron's eyes to the same person I was staring at.

"Draco Malfoy? I didn't expect to see him again." Ron seemed as shocked as I did. Of course Hermione had an answer, she always did.

"He didn't get credit for last year, the Ministry refused to certify most of the NEWT level courses since they were being taught by Death Eaters."

"And he had the nerve to come back?" Ron was becoming obviously agitated.

"Apparently so." Hermione looked over at him too. His eyes were cast downwards; there was no one around him, not even his mother. A bellman was helping him get his trunk onboard. As I actually looked at him I could see that he looked awful. His normally pale skin looked more ashen than I'd ever seen it, his hands were hanging limply at his sides. He'd let his hair grow, so that it concealed his face when he wasn't moving. It looked like he'd lost weight; his fingers looked boney when he brushed the hair out of his eyes. All in all he was kind of pitiful; I had to turn away. I didn't want those memories either, and I didn't want him to catch me looking at him. I don't know what car he got onto because the whistle sounded only moments after I turned back to my friends, and we prepared for the lurch of the train out of the station.

Thankfully, things did lighten up a bit on the ride to Hogwarts. The sweets cart came around and we bought some treats for ourselves. A few classmates stopped by to say hi, and once we were free of the adults, we even heard some laughter. It was a great sound; it almost made you think that everything might actually get back to normal.

"So how is the house shaping up?" Ginny's voice sounded interested, with maybe just a hint of sarcasm in it. I guess she was still angry, despite the flowers I sent her to apologize.

"It's getting there. Charlie said he'd stay there to supervise the contractors who are gutting the basement, and the kitchen, while he's working for the Ministry getting the current locations of the local dragons sorted."

"Yeah, I remember Dad talking about all the displaced Magical Creatures after the war. He's had a devil of a time oblivating all the Muggles who have seen dragons and doxies and ghouls wandering about looking for new homes." Ginny finally smiled a bit at that memory; Arthur was a good storyteller.

"I wish I could be helping them." Hermione sighed. Her ambition was to work for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. I knew she'd be good at it, but I didn't know if the Ministry was quite ready for Hermione and her ideas about rights for some of these creatures. She'd lost a year of school too, running around with me, looking for Horcruxes. That's why all three of us, or I guess at least four of us if you included Malfoy, were back at Hogwarts this year. Ron and I still wanted to be Aurors, and we needed our NEWTS, I suspected there would be quite a mixed bag of seventh and now eighth year students filling the dorms. I thought Neville and Luna would be back too, both of them had missed out on their exams.

"What did you end up doing with Kreacher?" Hermione continued, pulling me away from my musings. I did that a lot now a days; mused that was, probably all the time spent alone at 12 G. That's what I'm going to call it now, saves me writing it out over and over.

"He's at Hogwarts still. I didn't want him to have to see his home rearranged. I thought it might be too much for him. And he seems happier at Hogwarts, to have some company finally, after being alone for so long." I hadn't given him his freedom yet, but I wasn't about to tell that to Hermione. Part of me had a nervous feeling that I might still need him; I know, after wanting to tell everyone else that the evil was gone, it's a bit hypocritical. But I figured being set free might also distress the poor elf so much that he might do harm to himself. I couldn't have that on my conscience, I had enough there already.

"When do you think things will be done?" Ginny kept up her interested questions. I was happy she was talking to me.

"I'm hoping by Christmas, then I can have everyone over to celebrate." The Burrow was a wonderful home, but it was small. I never wanted to say anything to Molly; she was so house proud, and no-one ever complained about the close quarters at the holidays. But I had this big house now, and there were bedrooms for everyone so no one had to sleep on the floor. Of course having Arthur and Molly there would mean Ginny and I couldn't share a bedroom; which I was sure she wanted. But there was enough space to sneak away if we wanted too, if I wanted too.

Hermione would probably kill me if she read this part, but I'm sure she and Ron have slept together; she's very clever and it wouldn't be hard for her to find someplace private for that. Ginny and I haven't done that yet. We've kissed and all. But that's about it so far.

"That would be really nice. As long as you let Mom have the Kitchen."

"That's why I'm having it redone, just for your Mom."

I remember mostly other small talk on the ride back to school, and only a little anxiety about seeing Draco again. I'd deal with him when I had to, if I had to. I was done worrying about every little thing. This year, for one year, I wanted to enjoy being at Hogwarts, and just be a normal student.

I suppose nothing is ever going to be normal for me, is it?