I'll Always Love You
The rain was pouring hard on Wammy's House, and lightning menacingly flashed in the sky, making a cracking sound like a whip. It sounded like a warning, or a threat. The lightning was followed by thunder and lots of rain, although Mello couldn't tell if the rain had turned into hail or not yet. The young boy lay on his bed, curled up in the blankets with his knees up to his chest, terrified. He hated storms. He always had. Especially thunder storms. Rain he could deal with, but when it came with lightning he utterly despised it. Or rather, he feared it.
It was silly, he knew, to get scared by thunder storms. But he simply couldn't help it. His roommate, Matt, who was across the room from him, was sleeping like a baby. Mello thought he was crazy. You had to be to be able to sleep through a storm like that! The harsh wind was blowing the trees that were next to Wammy's House, causing them to scratch against the building, creating loud "screech"ing noises. Mello flinched whenever he heard one, burrowing further and further under the covers. He glanced quickly at his alarm clock, which read 4:56 a.m., and then turned his eyes back to the window. He hadn't gotten a wink of sleep that night, and he felt exhausted--however he still didn't think he would be able to fall asleep. He sighed and sat up, bringing the blankets up with him, and leaned against the back of his bed. The storm seemed calmer for a moment, and a small shimmer of hope entered Mello, when suddenly a loud bang of thunder hit and lightning shot across the sky. He yelped and nearly jumped out of his bed, and he noticed Matt from across the room stir in his sleep. The other's bed looked so tempting...Mello wished he could just go over and get into it. But Matt would probably flip out or something...
Another clash of lightning and thunder soon convinced Mello to go and bug his friend, though. Stepping warily over to the redhead's bed, he bent down to see his face to make sure that he wasn't awake. He wasn't. He was sleeping like a log. Warily, Mello poked his arm and took in a deep, sharp breath when another bang of lightning hit. The younger boy moaned and his dark blue eyes opened a little.
"Mello?" he asked groggily, bringing one hand up to rub the sleep from his eyes. When Matt had succeeded in rubbing the sand from his eyes, he blinked and stared at Mello. "What's wrong?" he asked, and by the look on his face Mello knew he must have looked terrified.
"Umm...c-can I..." Mello jumped when another very sudden, very loud roll of thunder boomed, and Matt, looking kind of confused, sat up. "Can I...sleep with you...tonight?" Mello asked, a slight blush coming to his cheeks at how that question sounded. He hoped that it would be too dark for Matt to see the red on his cheeks.
"Um." Matt looked up at Mello, who was standing right next to his bed, curiously, then shrugged. "I guess so." Mello almost sighed with relief and hurried under Matt's covers before another bolt of lightning could strike. Another one struck soon after that, however, and Mello flinched again. He heard Matt snickering next to him and turned to glare at the boy.
"What's so funny?" Mello snapped, although he couldn't keep his death-glare on for too long with that damned storm raging outside...
Matt grinned and shook his head. "Nothin'." Mello rolled his eyes and turned to look back out at the storm, watching it with wide eyes. He jumped when he felt two warm arms suddenly wrap around him, but relaxed when he remembered that it was just Matt. They sat there like that for a while, Mello comfortably--albeit a bit awkwardly--sitting in Matt's arms, both of them under the covers. Mello felt safer like that--he could watch the storm without flinching every time. He suddenly remembered how tired he was, however, and slowly drifted off to sleep.
* * *
The thunder rolled and the lightning flashed, the sound of the rain tapping on the roof completing the storm. Matt sat awake and alone, huddled under the covers and watching the storm rage on outside of his window. He wasn't sure what time it was, but he had been laying in bed, awake, for hours. He couldn't sleep. Partially because of the storm, partially because of...what had happened earlier that day. Matt groaned and turned over, trying not to think too hard about it, yet kind of wanting to.
Now, Matt knew Mello could be stingy, picky, snappy, and have a I'm-all-that-and-you're-not-good-enough-for-me attitude, so it's not like he hadn't been expecting that possible reaction, but...he thought that maybe, just maybe something might have changed between them. They had always been best friends, ever since Wammy's House, but for some reason Matt thought they could be more. Ever since about a year before Mello had left Wammy's House, Matt had begun to feel differently towards him. Like...every time their hands would accidently brush against each other, his heart started to pound and blood rushed to his face. Or...there had been this one time when Matt had accidently walked in on Mello while he was in the process of changing his clothes, and...
Matt chuckled at the memory and a small part of his mind wondered what Mello looked like now...naked, that is. Sighing, he sat up and scratched the back of his neck. He still blushed just thinking about it. And no matter how mean or nasty Mello was to him...Matt knew the real Mello. And whenever he looked into those two light blue eyes, he saw all the pain and sorrow behind all the hate and anger.
Matt turned his head to look back out the window, watching as the rain fell and slid across the glass and the wind blew the trees violently. His hand subconciously went up to his lips, and he sighed again.
He had tried to kiss Mello that day...not tried to, he had kissed Mello. But...apparently, Mello didn't approve. He had pushed Matt away and snapped at him, then ran off. Matt closed his eyes, not allowing the tears to fall. It wasn't fair. After all these years of waiting and being so faithful to him...but then again, it's not like he could just expect Mello to feel the same towards him. You can't force people to love you.
Matt abruptly opened his eyes and sat there staring at the ceiling for a long while. Love? Was that what this feeling was? But...whenever he had had a crush on someone before, it didn't feel like this...this felt like so much more.
Of course, he would never have the guts to tell Mello how he felt now. There was no way, not now. Matt closed his eyes again and tried to fall asleep, but he couldn't. He couldn't get his mind off of Mello, and how...how good that kiss had felt...before Mello rejected him, that is. That...that had hurt so much.
Amidst all of the rain, thunder and lightning, Matt suddenly heard the sound of his creaky door opening. He looked to see a certain special blonde boy, standing awkwardly in the doorway. Matt's eyes widened and he sat up more, suprised that, after what had happened that day, Mello would be standing in his doorway.
They stayed like that in silence for a few moments, both just staring at each other, until Mello looked away. "Can...can I come in?" Mello asked timidly, rubbing one of his arms. Matt sat shocked for a few moments--after all, Mello was never timid--but then nodded slowly.
"Uh...y-yeah." Mello entered slowly and walked towards the bed, not once making eye contact with Matt. He was wearing his usual long-sleeved black PJ's with a top that was too small for him, and bare feet that would probably be the death of him someday. He refused to wear socks, even in the Winter. "I...I just..." Mello bit his lip, obviously not sure what to say. Suddenly Matt was reminded of a certain early morning several years ago in Wammy's House...there was a storm much like this, and the very same blonde came over to his bed, nervous and unsure...
It was then that Matt got an idea.
Lifting part of the blanket that covered him, he patted the space next to him invitingly. Mello bit the inside of his cheek unsuredly and came over to the bed, getting in next to Matt and letting him pull the covers over them both.
Matt could hardly believe Mello was actually getting in bed with him. He was suprised, confused and yet...kind of happy. "What happened today..." Mello was the first to speak again, and Matt turned his head to face him. Mello followed suit, and both boys--err, men, blushed.
"I'm sorry," Matt said quickly, but Mello shook his head.
"Don't be." Matt guessed that Mello knew he sounded like he was coming from a corny romance movie, but he had a feeling that Mello didn't care. And he didn't either. Without warning, Mello leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together, closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath. Matt's cheeks flushed and he stared at Mello in amazement. Mello opened his eyes moments later, and Matt could feel his soft breath on his skin as they stared at each other silently.
"Mello?" Matt didn't get to say anything more, because Mello suddenly leaned forward all the way and pressed their lips together. Matt's eyes shot open incredibly wide, and Mello seemed a bit surprised himself. They parted moments later, and Matt didn't waste much time before asking questions. "Why...why did you do that?" he asked incredulously, and Mello looked down.
"Matt, I--"
"I mean, earlier today, you...you wouldn't let me...but now...?" Matt was obviously very confused, and Mello sighed.
"I...I don't know why I snapped at you earlier...I just..." Mello bit his lip, and Matt waited patiently. Mello sighed again and stared Matt in the eyes. "I was...scared." Well, Matt had definitely not been expecting that.
"Scared?" Matt asked disbelievingly. Mello nodded. "Why?"
"I don't know...this might sound weird, but...I...I've never actually...been together with someone before...like...I've never had a girlfriend, or..." Mello paused, looking at Matt and smiling a bit. "...a boyfriend."
"Really? YOU'VE never had a boyfriend?" Mello shook his head and Matt whistled. "Why the hell not?" Mello shrugged and looked away.
"I don't know...I guess, maybe because I was always so obsessed with being number one, so I never really had time for one." Matt smiled and brought one hand up to Mello's neck.
"That's pretty unbelievable for you."
Matt and Mello stared at each other for a long time, until Matt leaned forward and whispered in his ear; "Do you want one?" Mello smirked and Matt brought his face back to Mello's.
"Yes." Matt grinned and leaned forward, kissing Mello chastely. But, with Mello's permission, he slipped his tongue into the other's mouth and their tongues danced together passionetely. For someone who had--surprisingly--never had a girlfriend or boyfriend before, Mello was a pretty damn good kisser. They parted again moments later, smiling at each other mischeviously, and Mello wrapped his hands around Matt's neck, pulling him closer. Matt grinned and pressed their lips together once again, putting one hand on Mello's lower back to support him as he lowered him down onto the bed. Matt placed his legs on either side of Mello's and leaned down, laying his body atop Mello's. Mello pulled away from the kiss moments later and smiled--genuinely smiled, at Matt. "I think I'm gonna like having a boyfriend."
* * *
Matt stood beside Mello's motorbike and watched him get on, silently begging him to get back off. Once Mello was settled he noticed Matt's worried expression and sighed. "Don't look at me like that, Matt." But Matt didn't listen.
"Mello, why can't we just--"
"Matt, we've been working on this plan for months. Everything's set up how it's supposed to be. There's no turning back now." Matt sighed and took a few steps forward, leaning down to kiss Mello. They both knew this was a goodbye. There was a good chance that one of them--or both of them, wouldn't make it through this. That was a chance that Mello was apparently willing to take, no matter how many times Matt had begged him to try and think of something else.
Matt wrapped his hand around Mello's waist for what felt like the last time, and kissed him passionately. A few people on the sidewalk around them were giving them weird looks, but they didn't care. Mello pulled away, however, and Matt whimpered when their lips finally parted. They stared at each other for a while, and then Matt pressed their foreheads together, just like on that stormy night when Matt finally realized that what he felt for Mello was more than just a crush.
"I'll always love you," Matt whispered, cupping Mello's face in both of his hands and closing his eyes. Mello's eyes were also closed and they sat like that for a while, before Mello opened his eyes and brought his hands up to Matt's.
"I love you, Mail." Matt smiled weakly and kissed Mello once more, but after that Mello refused to look him in the eye and pulled his helmet on. They shared one last glance and then Mello started his engine and rode off, not looking back. There was a big, sharp pain in Matt's chest as he watched his lover ride away. He wanted to spend forever with him, he wanted to hold him in his arms until the end. But as he got into that rusty old red car and began to play his part in Mello's plan, he knew he wasn't going to have that chance. He knew it was almost over.
And as both men faced their deaths that night, they could only hope that they would see each other on the other side.
Disclaimer: I, orgymoogle, do not own Death Note, or any of the characters or creatures in it. Nor do I own the plot, storyline or any of its other geniusness. I am merely an obsessed fangirl writing a fanfiction.
A/N: Yay for corny titles!
Okay...definitely not the best thing I've ever written. In fact...I'm not too proud of this. But, in honor of Mello's last birthday alive, I decided to write up this little oneshot.
...and I know that this is late. I really wanted to have it done before 12:00 p.m., but...-sighs- I couldn't. Ah, well. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MELLO! I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!! And Matt always will, too. ;)
P.S. For anyone who doesn't know, the reason that today--or rather, yesterday, December 13 2009, is Mello's last birthday alive is because he dies in 2010, soo...yeah. He turned 20 yesterday...I think. Oh, and this thing isn't beta'd, sooo...sorry for any mistakes and etc.
Thanks for reading! Mello, and Matt, will live on forever in our hearts!! 33 -sniffs-
~orgymoogle