AN: To enhance your reading experience, queue "Child's Play" by Drake.

TW: Sexual assault.

Throughout her life, Maya Hart would constantly ask herself why things happened the way they did. Why did her father leave? Why did her face always inherit an insane amount of pimples before her period? Why could Riley always see the good in her when she couldn't see it in herself? She asked herself questions like these and more importantly, wondered if she did anything to deserve them happening in the first place. And this was especially when it came to Lucas Friar.

Lucas was supposed to be Riley's. That's how she planned it, from the moment she saw his wide, country eyes smile at them. Sure, she thought he was cute but like her best friend, she wasn't an expert in dating. Maya had no idea how to start a relationship with someone else. Besides, it was clear how much Riley liked him from that first incessant and awkward giggle. Maya knew she always wanted Riley to be happy and being with Lucas would make her happy. So, she shoved them together and kept shoving them together, even when the universe had other plans. Such as, that goddamned bull and Lucas almost kissing her in Texas and declaring that he might have feelings for her too.

However, Lucas liked both Riley and Maya, he said. They both were very important to him, he said. There was no way he could choose between them, he said. This was crushing to not just the girls but the entire group. Lucas made it seem like he had no power in the situation because no matter what, someone was going to get hurt. Maybe he was right, but still Maya thought it was even more hurtful to drag them along the way he was. So, she ended things, saying she didn't really like him and the the only reason he liked her was because she had turned into Riley. She got that idea from Josh, Riley's uncle whom she also had feelings for. It wasn't until 10th grade that she realized that, while Josh's heart was in the right place, he might've spoon fed her a load of bullshit.

Around sophomore year,the gang started to get in the party scene. Riley, Lucas and Maya headed to one being thrown by a rich upper west side kid, friend of a friend. They were all sticking together until a guy started to show Maya attention in the way she liked. He had bite to his banter and had a smile like the devil. All through the conversation, they both always had a cup in their hands. He wanted her to see his the old vinyls and CDs in his car. Thinking back on that night, like she often did, Maya really should have known better when he said that. Who still plays CDs in their car when everyone has aux cords now? Thankfully, Lucas had kept an eye out all night and was able to save her. She pounded on the foggy window and Lucas saw it before the guy held her down. Lucas broke bones in his hand but Maya made it out before anything could happen.

Still, she couldn't sleep. After that party, sometimes Maya would walk the streets at night. She could have went to her best friend but Riley made her feel loved, not safe. Lucas wasn't going much of anywhere those days because he was put on probation for nearly killing the guy, even with the circumstances. She'd stand outside his window, wanting to feel his protection but then, she'd turn around and go home.

When some time passed and she was feeling a little better, her and Zay were at another small party that had people they actually knew. Riley and Lucas opted out to study that weekend and Farkle and Smackle didn't like crowds. They were outside on the balcony, sharing a cigarette.

Jokingly, she asked him, "so, when are you gonna ask me out?"

Zay almost coughed up a lung, "What?"

"Hah, don't you mean 'Zay what?'" She chuckled taking another long drag.

But the boy never laughed. "Maya, you don't really want me to ask you out, do you?"

She sighed, leaning back in the lawn chair. "Why not? It's what all our friends are doing and they treat us like little kids who don't understand. I want to understand. I'm not a little kid." Zay sat thinking and to fill the silence, Maya said, "maybe I should go back to being Riley, since guys love that."

"Except you were never Riley. You just learned how to use a damn hair straightener." He says it so cool, like he's just stating the time of day.

"... Zay what? Were you not there all of 8th and some of 9th grade when I started to dress like her and like - "

"Lucas? Yeah, I know. You weren't Riley, Maya." Zay shook his afro back and forth. "Nah, even Luke was a bit skeptical but you guys were so into that theory so ..."

"Then... why did I change? Why did I get better grades all of the sudden and-and lose my fire?"

"Because you were maturing? What, you were gonna hop on desks your whole life?" He snubbed out the cigarette and turned to Maya. "Look, I know that Josh and Riley gave you some rigmarole about how you became her to test Lucas but that was fake news. Josh isn't even here enough to really know what's going on, anyways. He doesn't know you."

"Riley knows me."

"OK, por ejemplo, when Lucas first showed up to New York, he pretty much stopped getting into trouble. Was that because he had an identity crisis? No, he just changed because that's what people do all the time, especially when they know it'll benefit them - "

"Yeah, and that's why I became Riley!"

"Maya, no - "

"Yes!"

"OK, how about now? You get better grades now, right? Is that because you're Riley? No, it's because you got older and you evolved. You grew. Your fire never left, Maya. You learned to control it."

Even in the face of evidence, Maya was still reluctant to take Zay's words in. "No, that's not true because Riley would never hold me back like that. She only wants the best for me. She took me up to Shawn's to get me back! She wants me to be my best and true self, always."

Zay chose his next words carefully. "I believe that she always wants what's best for you, Maya. I also believe she may not always know what that is. Riley always wants things to stay the same. Letting you grow up defied that, at the time. She didn't mean to hold you back, Maya. She just didn't want anything to change. What she failed to realize is, by you being around people who build you up and make you better, it was going to happen anyway. "

Slowly, Maya took some Vodka and cranberry from a red cup. "... People change people." Zay made a concurring nod. "So, I liked Lucas?"

"You did." Zay noted the past tense but didn't want to push it.

"But he didn't like me as me." She pointed to herself.

"No, he did. He really liked you but you pushed him to Riley. Why?"

She shook her head, "I don't know."

"Yes, you do."

"... I've been rejected my whole life. I didn't want add another disappointment to list. Besides this way, everyone could get what they want. Lucas gets an easy way out, Riley gets the guy of her dreams - "

"And what do you get?" He quizzed.

"Happiness. When Riley's happy, I'm happy. I mean, come on Zay, do you really think Lucas would've chose me? And if he did, Riley would've blown up."

"Maybe, maybe not." He shrugged.

"No, yes, she would have." Maya affirmed. "She would put on a show and act like it's fine but on the inside... I could never do that to her. It would kill her."

"Like it's killing you?"

She cut her eyes at Zay and gritted, "I can take it."

"Yeah... but for how long?"

There was always going to be a part of her that still had feelings for him. No matter how many boyfriends she distracted herself with. Lucas Friar would always have a piece of her. Sometimes, she'd think about that night at the police station. When Riley was being questioned, Lucas and Maya sat side by side. He must've sensed how tired she was and pulled her into his chest. With one bruised arm, he cradled all of Maya's sorrow as she quietly cried on his shoulder. She remembers the soft kiss he planted on her forehead.

Maya remembered the way they danced together, the night everyone found out about Farkle and Riley. It was painful when he called her to ask if there was anything Riley was telling her that could save his relationship. He sounded so hopeless and she couldn't help him. When the truth finally came out about their friends, Maya was relieved honestly but stressed about what this would mean for their special group. Lucas wanted to kill Farkle and erase Riley but Maya - Maya he wanted to keep. Despite what her mind was saying, the piece of Lucas in her heart became undeniable when he called her from the stairwell, asking if she was going to come with him.

Because it was New Years', Lucas, Maya and Zay had several options of places to go. They ended up going to Zay's cousin's house party, not wanting to be around kids from school and answer questions. This was Zay's family and friends. Lucas and Maya didn't really know anyone, so the two clung to each other the whole night. Lucas was ready to have a good time in forgetting for the night and loved his company in Maya. Multiple shots and cups of Patron later, they sat in the stairwell with a bottle Southern Comfort, moving every five seconds for someone to get by. Lucas let his dress shirt open, exposing his wife beater and tanned skin, although it was winter. Maya's hair was down in tousled waves and there was a run in her stocking. True to form, she was teasing him about his Mr. Matthews impression. It would've been pretty good, if Lucas' accent didn't get in the way. Suddenly as another person was about to step on Maya, Lucas put her in his lap. It happened really fast; she felt strong hands around her torso and next thing she knew she was sitting on him.

"People are jus' gon' keep on comin' back and forth so like... " Lucas slurred his explanation to her surprised, blushing face. Lucas took another swig from the bottle before asking, grinning very close to Maya's mouth and staring into her eyes, "is this weird?"

Maya gulped, "nope." She took the bottle from him and drank, tasting him on the tip. All of her thoughts were excruciatingly loud. Riley's name blared more than once. The only light was dark blue but his smile still shined bright. His strong hand was caressing her waist and she instinctively licked her lips. Maya felt she would've been kissed in the next second, if Zay hadn't found them.

"Well, well, well..." Zay stared. "There you two are!"

"Here we are!" Lucas cheered and Maya toasted the finished bottle to him.

"Get downstairs! People keep telling me my white friends are in the stairwell and they all up in the way! Embarrassing. C'mon!" Zay took Maya's hand and she grabbed for Lucas to follow. The living room was packed wall to wall. To keep track of her because she was so small, Lucas kept his hands on Maya's hips. Or maybe he just liked the way she felt against him.

Zay disappeared again when the song changed. Suddenly, Maya turned to him and said, "I love this song! BOUNCE THAT SHIT LIKE WHOA!" She began to rap the lyrics to familiar Drake song. Lucas was a fan too but he was a bigger fan of Maya rapping every word to him verbatim. He couldn't fight the smile on his face. He was too drunk to really place any of the words, so he couldn't sing along that well except to rap one verse, "don't make me give you back to the hood," pointing a warning finger to Maya and she did the same.

When the beat broke down, she turned around dropped her ass in time on him. Lucas wasn't the best dancer normally but when he was comfortable, he had better rhythm than Zay. Maya was patient, waiting for him to catch up. He placed his hands on her stomach, fingers treading lightly underneath her shirt. She didn't seem to mind, considering she arched even further back. Lucas is stronger than a brick wall, so he could handle it. When she dipped, he dipped, no matter how deep. Her heels gave them near perfect alignment to fitting together. If Maya decided to grind a little lower, she'd be on too sweet of a spot. Not that Lucas was helping himself, linking his fingers in her belt hoops so there was no other place she could go if she tried.

Lucas felt his head getting heavier and Maya did him the kindness of putting her fingers on the nape of his neck, inviting him to rest in the crook of her own. Her hair smelled like smoke and strawberries. His eyes were closed and he could almost feel himself purring. Lucas didn't care as he couldn't recall feeling this good in months. It was like a hazy dream he didn't want to wake up from. Lucas would never be sure but he could almost feel Maya's soft lips on his ears singing the words, "I just want to let you know that someone loves you back."

But then, Zay interrupts. "AH SHIT! OH SHITTTT! OHHH!" He shrieked with someone's tie around his head. His phone was held up to the couple, as if he was taking a picture or a video. The bubble popped and Maya immediately swatted at him.

The voices were quiet while they dancing but as soon as Maya saw that phone, she heard 'Riley!' again. Zay held his arm up in the air where the small girl couldn't reach. "Zay if I see this anywhere on the internet, I swear to fucking God -!"

"Whoop!" He ran through the crowd like a mouse and Maya was on the chase. She ran him into the first twilight of the year. Meanwhile, Lucas was left alone, snapping out of his most pleasant dream. He wagged his head and scrubbed his face with his hand, waking himself up from the moment. Whatever. He tried to be too drunk to think about it.

Lucas slept his monster hangover away most of the next day. He called Maya in the afternoon. He didn't need to see her, he didn't want to because he was a wreck, absorbing everything the night prior.

"Hey," Lucas' voice was groggy.

"Huckleberry..." Maya tried to give some life to her tone but she just sounded really tired. "What's up?"

"Mmm... fucked up. You?"

Maya made a dry chuckle. "Sounds about right."

There was a silence.

"Maya?"

"Yeah?"

"Last night..." Maya held her breath because last night could've meant many things. "A lot happened."

"'Twas a night to remember."

Lucas recalled how they got so close, in the stairwell and in the living room. He liked how it felt to be with Maya like that, just the two of them. He said, "I was thinking... and I really don't want you to feel like... look, I know how much Riley means to you and I understand the relationship you guys have but... I want you in my life, Maya. However you want to be, I just... I don't want us to stop - knowing each other. You mean a lot, you know but I don't want you to feel torn. I know Riley's more important than me so, if you want to go to her, that's OK. I'll wait. We'll still be friends."

On the other end, Maya was crying.

"Maya? Shortstack, are you there?"

She wiped her tears with her sleeve and sniffled, "I'm here."

"...so, what do you think?"

Lucas and Maya talked for the next two hours about their peculiar situation. She could appreciate that Lucas cared about Maya and Riley's relationship but he was wrong. It's not that Riley was more important than him but Lucas became almost just as important as her.

AN: I don't know but I'm still here. If you like what you read, please review. Thanks.