Bound: Even Tsuzuki can't love everyone all the time.
Disclaimer: I do not own.
Tsuzuki is tired, so very tired. Tired in a way that makes his muscles feel as if he just ran six miles even though he's been doing desk work all week. Tired in a way that makes his hand shake as he reaches for that first cup of coffee like it was actually his tenth. And the man felt that he might need that many just to get through the day.
Sleep wasn't any help when his dreams were plagued by white haired devils and green eyes crying for protection he couldn't give. Or worse, green eyes begging for him to stay when he so desperately wanted to go. And sometimes Tsuzuki almost summons Touda and almost leaves those eyes.
The man lets his head fall against the counter and his eyes burn when he closes them. And Tsuzuki thinks that maybe it was easier before Hisoka came. Because it's easier to let go when no one is clutching on to you; and no one has ever clung to him so hard before.
He wonders if once upon a time he would feel guilty for thinking that way. And he wonders if he can stop himself from resenting the boy. Tsuzuki loves Hisoka, he really does, but it's a fine line between love and hate and slowly things have shifted so that he was straddling it.
Did the boy know? He silently ponders this as he walks into their shared workspace. Did the boy know the bitter feelings building in his heart?
He looks up into green eyes and smiles his goofy smile. The eyes brighten for a moment as the smile is returned. Safe, safe for now.
But maybe it would be better if Hisoka did know, because then he might let go. And Tsuzuki might finally be able to sleep.