Disclaimer: I don't own Addison or any of the characters from GA
Recovery
Part I
Addison was still numb; she had made a fool out of herself. How could she give him yet another chance? "God how could I have been so stupid?" she sat on the edge of the bed; she had to end this now.
She rose from the bed and walked to the closet; she slowly pulled opened the door and took out the large suitcase. Addie closed her eyes and tried to remain strong, "I can do this." She quietly and efficiently packed her things. She found the large envelope, the one she had previously given to Derek. Slowly she slid the papers out, this was it, this is something she should have done six months ago. She grabbed a pen off the dress and quickly signed and dated all the pages. There it's done she thought; she had tears streaming down her face. This was the hardest thing she ever had to do. Addie reached for her wedding bands and felt the cool metal; she slowly slipped the rings off her finger and dropped them in the envelope.
She looked around the trailer one last time. As far as she could see she gathered all her belongings. She grabbed her bag and quickly exited the trailer; she pulled out her key to lock the door, it clicked with a sudden finality. It's over, it's finally over, she thought to herself. She leaned her head against the trailer door; then dropped the key in the large envelope.
She started to headed for her car, only to collapse on the steps dropping her head in her hands, she thought, I can do this, I am strong. No I'm not, she shook her head. She pulled out her cell phone, punched in the familiar number and hit send. As it continued to ring, she changed her mind, she can't do this, she immediately hit end. She rose and determinedly headed to her car.
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Mark stood in front of his locker; he didn't usually perform surgeries on Sunday's but this one was different it was a four hour reconstructive surgery on a three year old that had been attacked by a dog. He was proud of the fact that he could take a tragedy and make it right. He smiled to himself; the little boy was going to have very minor scaring and will lead a normal life. He reached for his phone, checked for missed messages; he was expecting a call from his sister. It read one missed call, he recognized the number, no message.
What did it mean, why call and no leave a message? He paced back and forth, "God Addie what is going on? "
He stopped his pacing; he knew what he had to do.
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After leaving the trailer Addison moved into the hotel she had previously stayed in, she had plenty of time to think over the last twenty four hours. That Monday morning she woke determined to move on with her life. So, here she was at the hospital ready to move on. She gently knocked on Derek's office door, thank god, no answer. She quietly opened the door and slipped in the room, slowly walked to the desk and places the envelope down. This is it she thought, it's over. She left the room as quietly as she had entered it, gently closing the door and leaned against it. She can do this. She straightened and held her head high and headed down the hall.
Mark stood at the end of the hall, he watched Addie tentatively enter Derek's office. He leaned against the wall waiting to see what would happen next. With in few minutes she emerged, she seemed defeated. A sad smile crossed his face when he saw the change in her demeanor; she was trying to hard to be the strong Addison. It broke his heart.
Addison froze; she stared down the hall at Mark leaning against the wall, their eyes locked. What was he doing here? She swallowed hard, she could not move, all she could do was stare at the man quickly approaching her. He reached out and wrapped her in his arms, he held her tight in his arms and gently stroked the back of her head. That's when she lost it, she sobbed into his chest and they sunk to the ground. He pulled her onto his lap and rocked her while she cried. He whispered in her ear, "I know baby, I know," he continued to kiss the top of her head and stroke her hair comforting her, letting her know he was here for her.
"I'm such and idiot," she finally managed to squeak out.
"No, you aren't," he whispered. "You just loved the wrong guy," he pulled away so she could see the little smile on his face.
She tilted her head gave him a half laugh half cry, "Yeah I did."
He pulled a tissue out of his pocket and handed it to her, "Come on, dry your eyes and let's get out of here."
She dried her face and he stood, held her hand and pulled her up into a hug again. They walked arm and arm down the hall.
Derek stood at the end of the hall taking in the scene before him; he showed no emotion on his face. Addie and Mark didn't notice him until he was standing before them. "Derek," Addie whispered. Derek nodded at the pair and continued on his way.
Mark reached out and stroked Addie cheek, "Are you ok?"
She put her head back and closed her eyes, "What do you think?"
Mark could see the misery on her face. He was furious with Derek. Furious that he refused to let her go when he no longer wanted her. That he held on to punish her. It broke his heart because he knew he shared the blame for the pain she was in. Mark held Addie firmly by the shoulders and said, "Can you make it back to your office on your own?" she nodded. "Good, I have something to do," he bent down and gently kissed her on the forehead, gave her arm a squeeze then turned and headed down the hall after Derek.
Derek sat at his desk looking at the envelope lying on the desk before him. He looked up from his desk as the door to his office was thrown open. He shot up to a standing position behind his desk, took a step back and Mark charged at him. Mark threw a punch that connected with Derek's jaw; Derek stumbled back and fell over his chair landing on the floor behind his desk. Mark was ready to lunge at him again, but was stopped.
"Mark!" Addie shouted. "Please stop!" she cried.
Mark's head snapped in the direction of Addie's voice. She was pleading with him and shaking her head, "He's not worth it. Please stop."
Mark stopped and studied Addison standing across the room. She was shaking. The last thing on earth he wanted was to hurt her more then she already was. He turned to Derek and pointed down at him, "Stay away from her."
Derek lay back on an elbow looking up at Mark rubbing his jaw where he had connected, he didn't say a word.
Mark looked down on him with disgust then headed back to Addie, gathered her in his arms and asked, "Are you ok?" She nodded and they exited the room.
Derek rose to his feet and eased himself into his chair at his desk; he looked at the envelope lying on the desk before him again. He didn't have to open it to know what was inside. He emptied envelope and spread the contents before him. Addison's wedding bands, the key to the trailer and the divorce papers; he knew they were the same ones she gave him six months ago. The only difference this time was the very recognizable signature at the bottom of the page Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd that's it, it was over. She had signed the papers. He blew out a long breath and reached for the pen and began to sign the pages putting his signature next to hers. Side by side on the page Dr. Derek Shepherd Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd, it was really over.
Mark and Addie remained outside Derek's office, he was cradling her in his arms he rubbed her back as he whispering to her, "You are going to get through this. I am going to help you get through this and I'm not going anywhere this time no matter what you say." Tears trickled down her face as she took in what he was telling her. She nodded into his shirt and tried to regain her strength from his reassuring arms.
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Mark led Addie to the bathroom in her hotel room. He had run a nice warm bath for her while she changed out of her clothes into a robe. "Come on get in. It's just what the doctor ordered, a nice soak. You sit back and try to relax and let me take care of you," he leaned over stroked her cheek and gave her a kiss on her forehead. "Just give me a holler if you need anything and when you are done in here I'll have something extra special for you," he grinned at her and wickedly. Addie laughed at him and flicked some bubbles at him.
Addie sunk deeper into the tub. She still couldn't believe that Mark was here, that he had come running across the country because he received a missed call from her. She hadn't even left a messaged for Christ's sake. How the hell did he know that she needed him?
Her mind drifted back to when Derek had seen her in Mark's arms. She could feel the tear threatening her again. No she told herself, she wasn't going to let him hurt her anymore. She sighed and sunk deeper into the tub until she was completely submerged and she let out a scream. She sat upright and took a deep breath. Damn that bastard, she didn't want to care. She wanted to be indifferent too. She slipped back down in the tub and let the tears flow again.
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Derek took the envelope Addison had left on his desk to her office and left it on her desk. He will let her attorney handle this. He then headed to the fifth floor; he knew Meredith would probably be with Cristina and Burke. He smiled as he went, she should have no objections to starting a relationship with him now. He was a free man; his smile grew as he moved along.
He was right; Meredith was in Burke's room with Cristina. "Hey there," he said as he entered. "How's he doing?"
"He just fell back to sleep," Cristina said.
"Um, Meredith can I talk to you for a minute?" he said with a smile.
"I'm visiting with Cristina," she said.
"Please it won't take long," he smiled again.
Meredith sighed, "Fine, for a minute," to Cristina, "I won't be long."
She got up and left the room with him, after they walked a bit she stopped and turned to him, "Okay, what do you want?"
"I wanted you to know that Addison and I are getting a divorce. We both signed the papers," he said hopefully.
"Well goody for you. You finally got some balls and did the right thing and left the wife you can't stand. How big of you," she said sarcastically.
"Meredith," he pleaded. "Don't be like that."
"Be like what? Bitter, because you made me your dirty little mistress? Both Addison and Finn deserved better. What on earth would I have to be bitter about? Why couldn't you have been a man and ended it with your wife before making me your dirty little mistress? So, now you are free and I'm supposed to say pick me, pick me now, take me back now, oh please Derek take me back. Well I have news for you; I can't forgive you for making me your dirty little mistress." With that she turned and stomped off back to Burke's room. She hesitated before entering, "By the way Derek who signed the papers first?" she asked with raised eyebrows.
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An hour later Addie stepped out of the whirlpool, she had a really good cry. Mark was right, she smiled to herself it was exactly what she needed. She quickly changed into the pajamas Mark left out for her.
Addie emerged from the bathroom feeling one hundred percent better than when she went in. She smelled the aroma of pizza in the air, he remembered her favorite comfort food was a mushroom, black olive, green pepper pizza.
Mark smiled at her as she existed the bathroom, "Are you all comfy?" she nodded and smiled, she was wearing an oversized sweater shirt, plaid flannel pajama bottoms, and a pair of thick socks.
She tilted her head and smiled at Mark, then held out her arms. She wrapped her arms his waist and snuggled into his chest. "Thank you," she whispered.
Mark kissed the top of her head, took her hand and led her to the couch, "Ready for a Star Wars marathon?"
"Star Wars, I love Star Wars. We are just talking the original trilogy, right?"
"Yep, just the original three," he took her hand and guided her to the couch. Once settled he handed her a slice of pizza and a glass of Shiraz.
Halfway through the first movie he looked down at her snuggled up in the crook of his arm, she was sound a sleep. He kissed her on top of her head and gently scooped her up in his arms, then carried her to the bed. He thought to himself as he watched her sleep, I'm going to get you through this baby and if I have my way, he will never hurt you again.
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"Mark, I want to thank you," Addie smiled at him weakly. "Again," closing her eyes as she went on, "For being there, for taking care of me last night." She looked up at him and went on, "I don't know what I would have done without you." She tilted her head, her eyes crinkled and a small smile played on her lips, "So, thank you."
"Hey," he reached over and gathered her hands in his. "No thanks needed that's what friends are for," his eyes shone. He gave her hands a gentle squeeze.
"Addison," he took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. This was something that had to be said because he wanted things to turn out differently this time. "No matter what happened in the past we are and will always be friends." He glanced down then looked back up and sobered, "Addie, before in New York, I was wrong. I should have never taken advantage of you." She tried to protest and he raised his hand. "I did, you know it and I know it. Your marriage was in a shambles and instead of being your friend and helping you, I took advantage. I was selfish, I had wanted you for a long time, long before the problems with Derek started," he gave her a crooked smile and reached over and brushed a stray hair away. "And instead of helping you deal with his absence like a friend, I took what I wanted. You were weak and vulnerable, and I took advantage," sadness came into his eyes.
"Mark," she reached over and touched his cheek. "I'm a big girl; I take responsibility for my own actions. Yes, I know we were wrong," she placed her hands in her lap and looking down a pained look crossing her face. "I don't know what I would have done differently because I wasn't strong enough to let him go then." She looked back up at him tentatively, "God knows I should have ended it back then, but I just wasn't strong enough. I still loved him." She leaned her head back and put hand to her forehead. He could hear her voice start to waiver, "Hell, I still love him." She strengthened and said with resolve looking him straight in the eye, "I made one step in the right direction. I let him go." She gave him a half smile, "Now I just need to learn to stop loving him because it is going kill me if I don't." As she looked at him, he could see the fear in her eyes. "I'm scared to death right now because I know one look of encouragement from him and I will melt. I won't be able to stay away from him."
"And I will be here to help you and support you," his smile grew. "I love you Addison but I know you are not ready to start a new relationship and I will wait. I will wait for you to be truly over him and ready to move on." He looked into her eyes, "Move on with me hopefully, nothing would make me happier," he sobered. "But I will not pressure you and if down the road, if he gets his head out of his ass and realized what an amazing woman you are and wants you back," he looked grim, "And you go back. I'll accept that too. I won't be happy about it but I'll accept it." He continued relaxing some, "Or when you are finally over him," he maintained the gaze, "And if you still don't want more then friendship from me, that's okay too. Because it is more important to have you as my friend," he gave her hand a squeeze, "Then have you as my lover." He leaned over and gave her a soft kissed on her cheek. "I just want you to be happy, whatever the choice you make."
Addie rose from her chair and walked over to him; she pulled his head to her and kissed the top, "thank you." She smiled down at him, "It's going to be a lot easier knowing that no matter what happens you will be here for me." She crouched down next to him and looked into his eyes, "You truly are my best friend. You don't know how happy it makes me to know I have that back."
He pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly. She pulled back smiling and looked into his eyes, "Ok enough drama for one day. I have to get ready for work."
"Are you sure you are up to going into the hospital?" he asked with concern.
"I have to be. It's part of the healing process. I have to be okay with seeing him and if he is with her, I have to learn to be ok with seeing them together," she simply stated, with that she left the room to get ready for work.
Thirty minutes later she exited the bathroom, her hair was pulled back, she was wearing a green tailored jacket, black t-shirt, black slacks, and a black pair of three inch jimmy choos and she looked like the cool, calm, confident Addison he knew so well. She had a look of determination on her face; she was ready to take on the world today.
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Meredith stood in the elevator next to Derek; he looked like he didn't sleep at all the night before. She could tell he wanted to talk but she stopped him before he had a chance to say anything. "We made a mistake, a terrible mistake and after that mistake I chose Finn, not you but Finn." She narrowed her eyes, "You have to accept that I am now with Finn and not with you." She took a breath, "I don't care that you are available now. I don't care because you made me your dirty little mistress," she fumed. "And that was something I never wanted to be," she threw her hands up into the air in frustration. "Before I could look Addison in the eye, because before when I was sleeping with her husband, I didn't know, I didn't know you were married. So I was innocent in this entire mess," she paused trying to get her anger under control. "You changed that by not leaving me alone; you knew I was still in love with you. You knew it and you wouldn't leave me alone so I could heal, and move on," her voice was starting to tremble. "I did move on. I have Finn, I moved on and have Finn," she continued firmly. "You didn't care," she cried, "You continued to look at me and knew I couldn't resist you, because I still loved you and wanted you. But," she stabbed at his chest, "You ruined everything; you ruined it because you wouldn't leave me alone. You refused to leave your wife and you continued to pursue me," her voice started to rise. "I know you had no intention of leaving her, even after. I'm sure of it," she shook her head. "I know you wanted me to pick you over Finn, but I also know you still would have chosen her over me." She continued her rant, "Now you are free. You are free, but it wasn't your choice it was hers," she cried. "Addison discovered proof that we slept together and she left you! She signed the papers first not you!" Meredith looked at him with disgust. "You never chose me over Addison. I am your consolation prize and now I'm just the dirty little mistress," she took a deep breath, she was still shaking.
Derek tried to speak, but she stopped his retort with a quick wave of her hand she wouldn't allow it. "If it doesn't have to do with something medical, do not ever speak to me," she snapped.
With that the doors to the elevator opened, Addison was standing outside. They all looked uncomfortable, both Meredith and Derek exited going their separate ways and Addison entered.
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Addison entered her office and saw the large envelope on her desk. Well this is it she thought; she emptied the contents on her desk. It contained the signed divorce papers, her wedding bands and a note from Derek. She picked up the note and started to read.
A.
I figured you can have your attorney file the papers. Take your rings,
they are yours, so do whatever you think is appropriate.
D.
Addison picked up the rings and threw them on the ground then started to stomp on them, in frustration. Just then Dr. Bailey poked her head in the door. She looked puzzled at Addison stomping on the ground, "What did you find a bug or a mouse or something?
Addie stunned by the sound of Miranda's voice, her head shot up and she gave her surprised look. "Just taking out my frustrations," she said as she bit her lower lip.
Miranda could now see what she was taking her frustrations out on, "On your wedding bands?" she looked taken aback.
Addie slumped at her desk and sighed, "Well everyone is going to find out sooner or later." She pursed her lips, "Derek and I are getting a divorce."
A concerned look came over her face as she headed to Addie's side. "I'm so sorry, what brought this on?" she said as she put her arm around Addie's shoulder.
Addie shrugged a look of defeat crossed her face, "I stopped being an idiot?"
Miranda looked confused, so she continued. "Lets just say I receive a wake up call telling me that there was no way my marriage was ever going to work, so I signed the papers," she shrugged.
"So, what did that miserable SOB do?" Miranda started to ask.
"Look Miranda, I'd love nothing more then to spill all the details to you, but I just can't go into it because Derek is your colleague and I really would rather not say anymore," she gave her a weak smile.
"Ah honey you don't have to say another word," Miranda understood, obviously Addie had somehow discovered Derek and Meredith exchanged a little more then longing looks at that stupid prom. She had heard the talk around the hospital already, more then one person had seen Dr. Shepherd drag Dr. Grey into the exam room. She must have found out about their tryst and was just being too classy to tell the details unlike that no good, soon to be ex-husband of hers, who made it common knowledge how his wife had slept with his best friend. Considering the way he had treated his wife for that last six months, she bet there were some extenuating circumstances, McDreamy my ass.
"Thank you Miranda," she gave her a weak smile.
"What do you say you come over to dinner tonight? It's been far too long since we had you over, and it will be even more fun since I don't have to invite your miserable soon to be ex-husband," she grinned. They both laughed.
Addie knew she didn't really mean the remark about Derek but she was happy to have someone else on her side. "I'd love to, the only thing," she hesitated. What will she think when she tells her she has company in town and it's none other then Mark Sloan, everyone one at Seattle Grace knows he is the one she had the affair with?
"Is there a problem?"
"Well, I got an unexpected visitor last night."
Miranda raised her eyebrows in question.
"Mark," she said shyly.
"Mark?" as in The Mark, she thought.
"The Mark," she nodded.
"Really?" Miranda's eyebrows rose even higher.
"It's nothing like that," she tried to explain. "I was so upset about Derek, I called Mark. Well I didn't really call him, but I called and hung up before he could answer. He saw a missed call from me and figured I was in trouble and needed him. He is here as my friend and only as a friend," she looked desperately at her, pleading with her to believe what she said.
"Well bring him along too. Tucker will be home this evening too. Say yes, it will be fun."
"Okay let me call Mark and I'll let you know," she smiled. "By the way what brought you here?
"Oh right I almost forgot Karev," she wasn't sure if this was a good time to bring that sorry excuse for an intern up but what the hell.
"Oh damn right Karev, I forgot all about him. Do you think he has suffered enough?" she laughed.
"Well if you would have asked me that 48 hours ago I would have said no, but I am inclined to think maybe you can lay off him?" She looked hopefully, she was already down one intern, damn that Stevens, what the hell was that girl thinking?
"Okay consider him back at your disposal, just give him the occasional rectal or delousing case," they both laughed.
"Ok time to round up what's left of my interns, and let me know about tonight," she headed to the door but was stopped short.
"Miranda thanks;" she gave her a slight nod, "This really helped."
Miranda gave her a short nod and headed out the door.
Addie sat behind her desk; she pulled out her blackberry and looked at her schedule for the day. She didn't have an appointment for almost two hours and she had already finished her rounds. Only thing left to do was make a few phone calls, mainly her attorney and then Mark.
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"Addison," the chief said sternly. "You can not break your contract."
"But," she stammered.
"No you are under contract, so as long as you want to continue practicing medicine you can not break your contract," Richard's voice started to rise. He softened as he looked at the woman sitting before him. He knew she was in pain, but running away wasn't going to do her any good. "Look Addison, running away from the situation isn't going to help. Come on you have to know it won't. Did it help you and Derek out when he came running here?"
She looked defeated. "No," she whispered.
"No it didn't, if anything it made matters worse. Okay you and Derek are getting divorced, and I know that it's not because you have fallen out of love with him," he was trying to be as sympathetic as possible. "Running away from your feelings isn't going to help you heal. You need to face this situation head on. I know you Addie; you have to be able to stand up to him and what he has done in order to heal." He smiled at her, "How much do you want to bet you will thank me down the line?"
Addison scowled at her mentor, "I highly doubt it. Okay so you won't let me out of my contract. I have to accept that. I have another proposition for you then," she pursed her lips and composed her thoughts. "Since I am stuck here, how about you hire Mark Sloan?" She looked at him holding her breath. This was going to make him explode.
"Hire Mark Sloan!" he exploded. He rose to his feet and started pacing the room, "Are you serious?"
"Absolutely," she gave him a curt nod, "If you expect me to stay on, you will hire Mark Sloan."
"Addison you are under contract so you are staying on whether I hire Mark Sloan or not," he said with a nod.
"If not I'll hire an attorney," she knew she was bluffing, but it was worth a shot. "I'll just tell them the work is environment hostile and the interns are. . . "
He cut her off, "You win, have Mark call me to set up a meeting."
"Now that that is settled, I am going to need a few days off."
Richard stood in front of her with his arms crossed looking very stern, "Why?"
"I'm flying down to the Santo Domingo for a quickie divorce."
"Addison," he intoned his disappointment.
"Richard, Derek and I have already agreed on how to split our assets, so why wait on a long drawn out procedure when I can get it over with in a couple of days? I need to get this over and done with; I've already wasted enough of my life," she implored. "I fly to Santo Domingo spend the night and I can file the next day, it's over and done with and I can get on with my life sans Derek."
"Fine, you can have the time off," he said shaking his head.
"Thank you Richard," she rose from her seat and gave him a hug.
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