You're confused and you're lost. You had thought it was going great, thought you had really liked him. He had been the perfect cookie-cutter boyfriend.
They'd had the perfect love story. They had been harmonious… they still were. They understood each other's beliefs. More than that, they shared each others beliefs. They agreed that outstanding N.E.W.T.s and O.W.L.s were essential to life, that rule breaking was out of the question, and that pumpkin was the best pie flavor of them all. They read the same types of books, listened to the same kind of music, and had the same favorite color. They had never once fought or argued. They were always polite and never laughed at each other… or at all, really. He was always there on time for dates and all of her friends told her she was lucky to have him.
They had officially been going out for a month.
She joined him at the bottom of the stairs (where he waited for her every day just so they could walk to breakfast together). "Happy one-month anniversary," he said pleasantly.
She smiled back at him, but inwardly grimaced. She had not remembered… and what was more she didn't care.
He can't see the smile I'm fakin'
And my heart's not breakin'
'Cause I'm not feelin' anything at all
They had been so perfect; she had thought she couldn't ask for anything better. But now, she didn't know what she wanted. She didn't like him at all anymore.
She had asked him to sit and talk. She told him that she wasn't sure if they should keep going out. He nodded and agreed with her… and she was not surprised. After all, he had never disagreed with her before
They stood up and walked down to breakfast.
Maybe something was wrong with her. How could you really like someone and then just not like them?
It's not like he had acted differently after they started going out. Greg had stayed the same. Then what in the name of Merlin had changed?
"Oh my Wizard God," she thought as the realization hit her. She would have yelled it, but she was not capable of speech at the moment.
Lily Evens sat with her mouth slightly open, staring wide-eyed at nothing in particular as she realized what had changed. Oh yes, something had changed. She hadn't consciously realized it until now, but just the same.
She might have wondered absently why this week had been so peaceful, but this wondering had never progressed into real thought…. Until now. Now, that familiar face sat in her head smiling smugly, as real as anything. That stupid, quiditch playing, prank pulling, hair ruffling, show off-y James Potter.
And you were wild and crazy
Just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated
Got away by some mistake and now
It was James who had been the cause of her empty feelings. James, who had been a nemesis of sorts, was the one she had missed. MISSED! The world would surely explode… this wasn't right! It made no sense. But at the same time, it made all the sense in the world.
It made sense because the thought of him seemed to fill that empty feeling she'd had all week. It made sense because he was James and she was Lily. And then, she finally understood why. She understood why Greg was not 'the one.'
With Greg, things felt to perfect. There was no fire, no passion, no yelling, no screaming, no senseless snoging. She had missed the simultaneous feeling of pleasure and pain, the joy and trepidation in holding his hand. The fire that rushes through you when he is almost close enough to touch, the fire that brings the pleasure, joy, pain, and trepidation. The fire that says you're almost there but you're not there yet. The fire she felt when she fought with him, when she watched him ruffle his damn hair.
I'll be screamin' and fightin'
And kissin' in the rain
It's two a.m. and I'm cursin' your name
I'm so in love that I acted insane
And that's the way I loved you