Objectophilia
A story by Songstone
Songstone: Okay, I officially need to be shot by Sasori fangirls already since it seems I can't lay off the guy. XD But this story is funny, so maybe you'll let it slide? 8D
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto
Deidara had been called many mocking things in his short life; Freak, Monster, Pyromaniac, Idiot, Brat... The list went on.
The ex-Iwa nin had never considered any of those names to ring true to who he really was. In his eyes, he was an artist. Just a kid who was extremely passionate in what he believed. Too bad that he couldn't get others to see him in the same light.
Even when he was housed by some of the most notorious S-ranked criminals alive, he never seemed to get any peace. He was constantly pestered and teased 'playfully' by his fellow Akatsuki members; namely because he was the youngest out of all of them.
He was Akatsuki's Brat.
The blond had gotten rather good at ignoring snide comments about his looks or his art, though. So when Hidan would whistle at the 'pretty lady' walking around the base, Deidara simply side-stepped him and continued along his way.
But out of all the Akatsuki members, no one teased him as relentlessly as Sasori did.
His Danna could be a cruel man when he wanted to be, and Deidara resented him for that. It almost made him mad that he loved him too much to hate him completely.
The puppeteer had been the one to give him the title 'Brat' first. He was also the giver of the names 'Neurotic' and 'Psychopathic.'
As he did with everyone else, Deidara had ignored the names that his Danna had chosen to call him by. He just let it slide and hardly even batted an eye over it anymore.
But it wasn't until Sasori made a comment about Deidara having strange tastes in bed partners that the blond actually stopped to take his own mentality into consideration.
Sasori had, of course, been referring to himself as the 'strange' bed partner. He lacked of a real human body, so he made up for what he lacked between the legs with dildos or vibrators. Deidara hadn't known any other way of having sex, so for him that was all completely normal.
He knew that not all other men had Sasori's problem, though. That other men had real bodies; flesh and blood and hands able to feel whatever they touched.
Even if Sasori lacked those things, Deidara had always considered him to be human. He still had his heart, after all. So he wasn't completely rid of himself. But the rest of him...
The rest of the ex-Suna nin was just skin pulled over a wooden body; a body that held weapons and poison in too many places for Deidara to count.
These facts are what got the blond to thinking about himself more. Was he really freakish to have fallen in love with someone like Sasori?
Well, what better way to know for sure than to ask?
Deidara will never forget the look on Sasori's face when he sat up in bed a few minutes after they had made love and turned to the redhead with all seriousness written on his face; "Sasori-no-danna? Does loving you make me an objectophile, un?"
Songstone: If you're wondering what Objectophilia is, it's a disorder of some sort where people fall in love with inanimate objects instead of people. And since Sasori is like one big sex toy, Deidara is beginning to worry if he has this problem or not. XD So yeah, please lemme know if you found this funny or not! 8D R&R!