Hey everyone. So school's been killing me bc it's finals week coming up. So I'll get a chapter out at some point but here's a oneshot. Like it said in the summary, this is how I think Chapter 23 of the sequel should have gone. I wanted the nalu and I didn't get what I wanted so here is this. I hope you enjoy it! All of this goes to Mashima
Playlist: Squeeze-Fifth Harmony, Let Your Tears Fall-Kelly Clarkson, Dark Side-Kelly Clarkson, Darkside-Alan Walker, Safe and Sound-Taylor Swift
As soon as the water dragon god was defeated Wendy had rushed to heal Lucy and Natsu. Lucy reluctantly let go of Natsu so Wendy could heal the burns on her face, arms, and chest. Natsu was still breathing hard and Lucy could imagine his expression: wide eyed, breathing hard, and in shock. His arms had gotten completely destroyed and that scared Lucy. Natsu wasn't supposed to get burns from fire. Especially burns that bad. She couldn't forget the fear that she felt when Natsu had taken Ignia's fire. When Erza and Gray had started cheering, Lucy felt caution and worry. This fire had felt more threatening. Natsu's fire was destructive. Obviously. But this had been different. She had never been worried about his power going out of control. Which was clearly what happened. There was no way Natsu would risk her getting hurt, or any of their friends really.
Wendy had moved to Natsu and was healing his arms. Natsu looked down and saw the skin start to knit together. He compared the feeling of being possessed to when he transformed into END, when he thought Lucy was dead during the fight with Alvarez. But he had been in control of his power. This had been overwhelming. This was the first time he had experienced being burned by fire and it was something he never wanted to experience again. His breath was leaving him in gasps and he was kneeling on the ground, staring at nothing in particular while he tried to get himself together. Once he was able to breathe regularly again, he felt something that he figured was heartbreak.
Igneel had had a son. And he never knew. Natsu was sure the dragon had his reasons for not telling him but some part of him felt betrayed. Then he wondered how that tied in to Zeref's plan for the four other dragon slayers, then he shook his head. It didn't matter. He wasn't going to let memories of Igneel be tainted by this feeling. He slowly got up and turned around. Lucy was smiling but she looked tired. The others all looked relieved and he sighed. He ran his hands through his hair.
"I'm sorry," he apologized.
"You have nothing to apologize for Natsu," Erza comforted and Natsu just nodded.
He spent the rest of the day putting on the front of being carefree and unaffected. He didn't want to worry the others after what he already put them through. When the others were setting up camp, he slipped off with Happy and went to sit on the edge of a cliff overlooking the city that was celebrating and rebuilding. "I can't remember anything after I ate that fire," Natsu said. He was talking to Happy, but it didn't really seem directed to him. He was still staring straight ahead.
"it was awesome!" Happy replied. Natsu didn't agree. Feeling out of control but having no memory of what you did, especially when you hurt one of the people you swore would never get hurt again, was not awesome.
"Did I say anything weird?"
"Kind of, but you also said things you normally say." Natsu was quiet.
"I see." Then he got hit on the head.
"Don't just say 'I see'," Lucy yelled. He looked up at his best friend and felt guilt form a lead ball in his stomach.
"You burned me!" Natsu moved to lift her shirt off but she slapped his hand away. "It's fine now thanks to Wendy."
"Lucy was the one who stopped you," Happy said and Natsu sat up again. He vaguely remembered someone wrapping their arms around him. Of course, it was Lucy. That just made him feel worse. She had hurt herself trying to help him. He couldn't even control the element he had been trained to deal with. He clenched his fists and felt the same sort of self-loathing he had felt after Future Lucy and Igneel had died. How was he still not strong enough? He got down on his knees in front of Lucy.
"I'm sorry," he apologized. Lucy looked away.
"It's ok, really."
"It's not though! I hurt you!" He gritted his teeth. He hadn't wanted to take that fire, but everyone had been telling him too and it was the only way to win that fight. Now he wondered if it was worth it. If he had known how this would have turned out things would have been different.
Lucy could tell he was upset, he knew that. She sat down on the grass next to him. "It's not your fault." Natsu turned around and stared at her. How? How could she say this wasn't his fault when he clearly couldn't control himself, or his power? Her faith in him was absolute and at this moment, he felt that it was misplaced. "You did what you had to do and you saved the town. That's all that matters."
"Not if I hurt the people I care about," he argued. Then he sat and faced forward again. Lucy grabbed his head so she could look him in the eyes.
"I don't blame you, so you shouldn't blame yourself." Natsu didn't say anything and Lucy placed a hand on his back for comfort. He turned to face her and dropped his head to rest below her chin. Her arms wrapped around him, providing the comfort that he desperately needed right now. Natsu felt tears well up in his eyes and he squeezed them shut, to stop the tears from falling. Lucy was murmuring words of reassurance that it wasn't his fault, that she wasn't angry. At some point he felt a weight drop on the back of his head. Happy joined in on the reassurance and Natsu gave a small smile. He was safe.