A/N- Hey all! I recently watched Phoebe Waller-Bridge's hilarious show Crashing. And it inspired me to write a short fic about the Marauders. Keeping the basic premise the same, I'm gonna see where the characters take me. This shouldn't be too long, but I'm trying to do something different from my regular stories. Hope you guys like it!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Chapter 1: This is how the world ends, not with a bang, but with a banging

Life after Hogwarts was never what one expected. Jobs, responsibilities, relationships, and all the other stuff in between. But. What one never expected was to be living in an abandoned mansion with a group of friends from school, who successfully managed to create the most dysfunctional dynamic since the Dumbledores.

"Where's Pete? I lent him my book of Heating Charms and he still hasn't given it back. I need to keep my cocoa warm!" Remus Lupin, tragically bitten by a werewolf at age 5, devastatingly good at Defensive spells, hoarder of books, and a borderline chocolate addict.

"Oh fuck off, dickhole! You know you just want him to slip it in and get kinky with him. Eh?" Sirius Black, disowned heir, smokes enough ciggis to give 10 giants lung cancer, is always either topless or pantless, and a supremely sarcastic arsehole.

"It's too early in the day for your bull, you sodding wank! I haven't even had my first cup o' coffee yet!" Marlene McKinnon, former Witch Weekly model, can't hold down a job, secretly drinks tea in a coffee mug, and never awake before noon.

"The beast is up and it's only half past 2. Must be a record, eh? I say with celebrate with shots! Who's up for it?" James Potter, recently orphaned, richer than the entire population of Hogwarts combined, always has something odd caught in his hair, and prefers Muggle vodka to Firewhiskey.

"Is everyone alright with Chinese food tonight? I found this great place near Hyde Park. Devastatingly cheap and super sanitary." Lily Evans, junior assistant to the Head of International Magical Cooperation, estranged from her family, secretly hates sweets, and self-proclaimed 'glue' keeping the group together.

"You're the best, sweetheart," James leaned in and kissed her on the mouth. They had been dating for almost three years now.

"I love you, mate. But you two are nauseating." Sirius was splayed out on the carpet, choosing to be topless at this point.

"Yeah? And those weren't Lucinda Parkinson's moans I heard coming out of your room last night?" Marlene scoffed, skipping over Sirius and reaching for the jug of coffee.

"How do you not have a plethora of STDs yet?" came Remus' dry retort, his fingers tapping the table impatiently.

"It's called a Protection Charm for a reason, Moony," smirked Sirius, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Please, Merlin, tell me that bint isn't still here!" Marlene had a long standing rivalry with Lucinda Parkinson - both having started their modelling careers at the same time, but their career paths had taken drastically different curves after the first year.

"Marlene! You shouldn't talk about someone like that. And isn't it time you got over this? It's been ages. You two aren't even in the same line of work anymore!" Lily's suggestion was met with a dirty hand gesture from Marlene.

"Morning, loves!" Lucinda came out of Sirius' room, wearing his shirt, strategically buttoned in only a few places. "How's the career, MarMac?"

"Don't call me that, you bint!" Marlene growled, summoning the jug of coffee towards herself. "And put on some pants. You look like a slag."

"Still a jealous cow. No wonder you haven't had a proper shag in months." Lucinda wriggled in Sirius' lap, stretching out her bare long legs for everyone to see.

"That's it. Fucking it! You bloody-"

Marlene flicked the jug of coffee onto Lucinda, staining her white shirt and eliciting an unattractive shriek from her. What ensued was somewhat of a catfight, with Lucinda and Marlene wrestling on the floor, Sirius hooting in approval, Lily trying in vain to stop the fight but ultimately getting dragged onto the floor as well, James debating whether to dive in as well, and Remus yelling at the fact that he still didn't have hot cocoa.

"Umm, does anyone know where I can find James Potter?" Everyone looked up at the unfamiliar voice at the door. She was wearing tennis shoes, a pair of baggy pants, and what appeared to be some sort of sports jersey. Her dark hair was slightly dishevelled, as she struggled to manage the weight of two enormous bags and hold on to the shoulder of a very familiar person.

"Pete! Where the fuck have you been?" Remus was the first to spring into action.

"I-uh, I ran into him outside," said the stranger, uncertainly. "He told me I could find James over here."

"Al? Merlin, it is you!" James had finally noticed the person standing at the door, his face breaking into a delighted smile as he rushed towards her.

"Jammy! You little bugger! I've been searching all over London for you!" She exclaimed in delight as he scooped her up in his arms and twirled her around.

By this time, the tangle of human bodies on the floor had cleared up. Marlene and Lucinda were still glaring at each other, while Sirius stared at the newcomer curiously. Lily, on the other hand, felt like she was going to pass out.

"Oi! You lot! This is my childhood mate - Al! We practically grew up together before her family shifted. Al, these are my mates - Marlene," the short haired blonde smiled and shook her hand.

"Nice to meet you."

"Remus."

"How'd you do?" The sandy haired bloke gave her a small smile.

"Sirius."

"Hello there. Why haven't I had the pleasure of meeting you before?" he winked at her, before placing a light kiss on her hand.

"You've already met Pete," continued James with a laugh. "And this," he pulled the only redhead in the room towards him. "Is my lovely Lily."

"I've heard so much about you," she said, giving Lily a brilliant smile.

"And that's Sirius', umm, Sirius' latest-"

Lily tuned out as James struggled to introduce Lucinda to his friend. The only thing on her mind was how unbelievably attractive James' childhood friend was, and how his hand was wrapped just a bit too securely around her waist.

Oh dear Merlin...

So that was the prologue. Establishing the base before I continue with the story. I'd love to know what you guys think! Lemme know in the comments!

Cheers!