Title: Breakfast at the Basses

Chapter 1: Breakfast at the Basses

Author: Shelby

Summary: Chuck turns towards his daughter, looking her over. Her brown curls that go past her shoulders are almost exact to Blair's. She's wearing a headband that matches her school uniform and on her face she has applied red lip-gloss and mascara. He frowns, "You most certainly are a baby Charlotte Bass, now take off the make-up." A too familiar smirk forms on her face, "No".

A/N: Basically a funny little situation that popped into my head. I wanted to right something less heavy since the show is pissing me off with Chuck and this mystery girl crap. Anyways tell me what you think!

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Chuck smiled as he walked into the dining room. He sat down across from his wife.

"Good morning, Mr. Bass," Blair smirked in his direction.

He smirked back, "Good morning, Mrs. Bass." She started to throw him seductive glances across the table and he wanted nothing more than to grab her, pin her down, and take her right then and there. He was seriously considering it too, until…

"What about me?" a small voice asked. It came from the side of the table. Chuck looked over to see his son, pursed lips and elbows propped up on the table.

Blair laughed before she smiled at her son, "Good morning, Max."

Max turned towards his father, "Well?"

Chuck laughed, "Good morning, Maxwell. Where is your sister?" He did wonder where his daughter was. She was like her mother always on time and this morning they did have school. In fact, today was the day it started back. They were both rather excited about the third grade, his daughter especially.

"She's still getting ready," Max sighed as he rolled his eyes.

Chuck threw Blair a confused look. How long did it take for an eight-year-old girl to put clothes on?

"Your daughter has decided to start wearing makeup, Chuck," Blair smiled as she quirked an eyebrow.

He frowned, "Whatever for? She's still a baby."

"I am not a baby, daddy! I'm a lady now!" Came another annoyed, but not so small voice. Max's twins sister bounced into the room and sat down across from him.

Their father turned towards his daughter and looked her over. Her brown curls, which went past her shoulders, were almost exact to Blair's. She was wearing a headband that matched her school uniform and on her face she had applied red lip-gloss and mascara.

"You most certainly are a baby. Now takeoff the makeup, Charlotte Bass," Chuck scoffed.

He threw her the look, the one that everyone backed down to. Well mostly everyone, Blair of course was the exception. Chuck then saw his daughter purse her lips before she threw hi a smirk that was all too familiar.

"No," Charlotte challenged. She crossed her arms and glared at her father.

Max snickered as he watched the exchange, along with his mother who tried to cover her giggles with clearing her throat.

"Besides, I need to wear makeup to school today," Charlotte sighed.

"And why is that?" Chuck's jaw twitched. Please don't say a boy. Please don't say a boy. I'm not ready for a boy. He silently cursed.

Charlotte smiled proudly at her mother. Blair sighed and shook her in return. Her eyes then met Chuck's. Her husband was not going to be happy about this.

"Your daughter has a boyfriend."

Why was it always his daughter when something… wait, what?!

Chuck spat out the orange juice he had just took a sip of. Charlie didn't flinch, but instead smiled to herself. She giggled in delight.

"Two actually," she informed him.

Chuck stood up. "Two boyfriends?! You can't have two boyfriends!"

His daughter mimicked her father's movements and pushed her chair aside. She threw her hands in the air. "Why not? You told Max that he could have as many girlfriends as he wanted!"

It was now time for the eldest Bass woman of the house. She shot up from her seat and glared at her husband across from the table. Her reaction matched her daughter's exactly.

"You did what?!" Blair raged.

Chuck's angry expression quickly turned nervous as he looked from his wife to his son. "Max, tell your mother that your sister is lying."

Max smirked at his family who awaited his answer. Blair and Chuck both looked at him and thought how much he resembled his father. The only traits that differed were his skin tone, slightly darker than his father's and the shape of his eyes, more similar to his mother's.

The youngest Bass boy looked across the table at his sister who smirked and shook her head.

He looked back at his father. "I cannot tell a lie, father."

Chuck sunk down in his seat while Blair started to go off on him; and not in a good way. Both his children giggled the entire time. After a while, Dorota, thank God for her, interrupted.

"Mr. Max, Mr. Sparks here to go with you to school now!" the maid called.

Max jumped up from his seat. "Shit, I need my scarf." He then ran up the staircase. Blair threw her husband another glare as she noticed her son's new, colorful language.

Chuck decided to turn towards his daughter who now sat turned around in her seat. She watched as Lex Sparks entered their house; he looked as proud as ever.

"Why Lex, don't you look handsome this morning," Blair greeted with a smile.

Chuck rolled his eyes as he watched the little spawn appreciating his wife's cleavage. He looked up at her.

"Blair, sweetheart, could you run upstairs. I think Max needs your help," he said casually. She threw him an odd glance before she went up. Chuck turned back to scare of little Sparks only to see he had now joined them at the table. Lex sat next to Charlotte. She giggled as he whispered something in her ear.

Chuck cleared his throat and the two snapped up towards him. He glared, "So, Alexander…"

"Lex," he corrected. Seriously who did this little kid think he was?

"Lex," Chuck clenched his teeth before he continued, "Tell me. Are you the one telling Charlotte to wear makeup?" His gaze lowered suspiciously.

Charlotte merely rolled her eyes at her father. Lex shook his head. "Not me, sir. I told Charlie she looked better without it, or without anything for that matter."

Chuck wanted to kill a third grader in that moment. Before anything could be done though, he watched his daughter smack the boy upside the head.

"What the hell was that for, Bass?" Lex scowled.

"You're not allowed to say those things to me anymore. I'm going out with Archibald and Baizen now, remember?" Charlie smirked.

"Why?" Lex scoffed. "Archibald is a fumbling idiot, who by the way has a taste for blondes. And Baizen, well he is a loser who lives with his grandparents while his father tours with the Peace Corps for the fifth time."

Her father chuckled a little before he turned serious. "I think I need to have a talk with Nathaniel about his son."

Charlotte turned towards him immediately. "No! You can't do that, daddy! Besides, I'm only going to date Andrew Archibald for a week since Jason Baizen is on vacation. And when he gets back I'm going to end it with Andrew and go out with Jason for a little while longer before breaking it off with him. It's just how things go!" She said and threw her arms around for dramatics.

Lex shot a look in Chuck's direction, smirking. Chuck frowned in confusion.

"Well if you are planning to breakup with both boys then why bother going out with either one of them?"

Charlie scoffed, "Because, I'm Charlie Bass."

"Sound familiar, dear?" Blair smirked. She appeared behind Chuck and wrapped her arms around him. He looked up with clenched teeth.

"Funny, dear," he drawled, voice laced heavily with sarcasm.

Charlie heard her cell phone go off upstairs and left the table without another word.

Blair smiled, "I try. Anyways, are you coming with me in the limo ride to take the boys and Charlotte to school? I'm sure Nate will be there."

"And Nate's son," Chuck smirked. He then turned towards Lex with mischievous looking eyes. "Lex, would you mind pointing out this other boy, Jason was it?"

Lex Sparks grew a smirk similar to the older man across from him. He nodded, "My pleasure, on one condition."

Blair laughed into her coffee cup as she watched the eight-year-old boy challenge Chuck Bass.

Her husband sighed, "What do you want?"

"Your daughter," Lex smirked.

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A/N: So review if you liked! I may turn this in to a series of one-shots about the kids growing up and such!