The Real Me

Summary: Harry Potter goes back to Hogwarts for his fifth year, and finds out a huge secret that changes his life. Suprises, arguments and fights, are just some of the things which makes this his most awkward year. Will Harry be able to find the strength to fight Lord Voldemort and his loyal Death Eaters?

The dungeons of Hogwarts were always very cold. It had large grey stones, and a chilly wind always seemed to occupy the large rooms. Rows after rows of shelves had jars on them, with ingredients of Potions trapped in them. In a room marked Prof. Severus Snape, was less cold than the others, but still had an icy grip on it. The room had a long balck leather couch against the back wall. A large bed, which had a duvet cover, which had a large coiling picture of a Snake on it, was pressed up against the left wall. A large desk wich had a neat stack of parchment on it.

In his desk drawer, where an arrortment of pictures, a lot of them from his child hood. Severus was fond of looking at these, whenever he got the chance. Pictures of his mother and father (whom he hated) his sister Saffron, and his best friends. There were a good few pictures of Severus, when he was young.

The owner of the room was currently storming down the dungeons corridors. His large black cloak was billowing out behind him, giving off a dark, menacing look. He passed a couple of third year Hufflepuffs, and snarled at them. They backed against the wall in fear, and watched his retreating back. His office door was opened, and he made his way through the other set of doors, into his Living Quarters.

He sat down at the leather chair in front of his desk. He had just been to see Dumbeldore, who had told him that Remus Lupin was returning to teach the Defence Against the Dark Arts classes, because the other teacher Professor Gerel, had only lasted a week, and had gone missing.

He pulled open his draw and pulled out the very thick wad of photograhps. The draw was full of them, and he liked to pull out some at a time, which he did when he was angry.

The first photo was of him, and his sister Saffron, wearing there Slytherin robes, woth there brooms behind them. His hair was to his chin then, and was scowling at the camera. His sister on the other hand, was laughing and waving to the camera. She had her long black hair tied back in a pony-tail.

He pulled out the next photo, of him and Lucius Malfoy. Malfoy was wearing his trade mark smirk (who he had passed onto his son, Draco). His long blonde hair was to his shoulders. Severus was smirking as well.

Severus then pulled out the next photo. His eyes softened as he looked at it. It was Lily Potter, standing in the snow, waving at the camera. She was giggling, and her dark red hair was whipping around in the air.

Severus remembered that they had been really good friends. She had been sorted into Slytherin. She also had had her and Severus's son. Harry Potter.

"I can't believe you still haven't told him," Remus said, a vague tone of disbelief coloring his tone. Severus whirled to glare at him angrily, lips pulled back from clenched teeth.

"Told who what? I haven't he slightest idea what you're on about…" Severus growled, but was cut off by a sharp returned gaze from Remus.

"You know very well who and what I mean, Severus. It's been fifteen years…he has a right to know you."

"Know me?! Why in the hell does he have a right to know me? For all I know, he's not even mine!" Snape yelled, and turned to stalk away. He knew very well that Remus was right, and that he was lying.

Remus, however, latched tightly onto his shoulder and forced him to stay his ground. "Let me go, werewolf." He growled, but Remus kept his grip. For a moment, he didn't say anything, his expression shifting between concern and disbelief.

"He IS yours, Severus. Surely you knew that…"

"I knew of the possibility, but nothing more." Snape replied, though the tone of his voice clearly said otherwise.

"Then why didn't you find out?! He could have grown up without all the lies…"

"Oh, yes indeed. As if I would just pop up on his doorstep and admit to sleeping with his mother, oh I'm SURE that would go over well."

"Well, you've never seemed to worry about other's reactions to you before. You've got to TELL him! He'll probably find out on his own eventually, and just imagine what a mess that would be…."

"Not anymore of one than if I WERE to tell him. Can you imagine what would happen were he to know? ME?! His FATHER?! You can't honestly expect that he'd be happy in the least. I am not the type of person that can be a father."

"Oh, so that's it…"

"What?"

"You don't think you're worthy…"

"I'll be astounded if you can think of anyone LESS worthy. I was a Death Eater, Remus, I've done more evil than I can rightly remember…I'm not worthy of being ANYONE'S parent, and besides, I wouldn't even know how. And how do you think he would feel? You obviously have taken a liking to him, what do you think it would do to him if he were to discover that his real father was a murderer? A conscienceless follower of the Dark Lord? A cruel, bitter teacher hated by the entire school? It'd break him, I've no doubt that it would."

"Then that just proves that you need to get to know him."

"Why, whatever do you mean?"

"Tell me…why ARE you always on his case? Why is it that you always single him out for ridicule?"

"Simple. To teach him a lesson. Everyone else here, you included, tend to treat him like some high-and-mighty savior of the wizarding world. Half of the people who claim to be his friends would turn on him in an instant if his 'heroic' image were to be tarnished. He's got to learn to fend for himself out there, one way or another. If I don't break him of the spoiled lifestyle he probably enjoys at home, who will? You? Dumbledore? I highly doubt it."

"I thought that might be your reason."

"What? You'd better not even consider criticizing me for my methods, for I assure you, there's plenty I could say about yours."

"Have you heard about the Dursleys at all? The muggle family he lives with?"

"Of course not. If you'll remember correctly, I was comatose when he was placed with them, and I don't tend to bother with 'gossip.'"

"I've noticed. Either way, you wouldn't have learned anything more. Harry doesn't like to talk about them at all, I'm afraid I found out rather by accident…"

"Found out what?"

"Have you ever seen Harry getting mail in the Great Hall? Or going home for the Christmas holidays?"

"No, but I hardly see what that has to do with anything…"

"Severus, the first day of classes I asked him to stay after the lesson. I'd noticed he was looking ill, and I wanted to ask what was wrong. He was VERY reluctant to tell me, but after I slipped a little calming potion in his tea, he eventually gave in and told me some of what had happened."

"Go on…"

"His uncle beats him, Severus; quite often, in fact. As it turned out, he had a pair of cracked ribs, as well as severe bruising across his chest and back. I cornered Mr. Ron Weasley to find out more about the Dursley's, and I daresay it isn't pleasant. Evidently, they weren't even going to let him come to school this year. I suppose it was a lucky thing that I showed up…Anyway, one year, Weasley and his brothers had to actually break him out of that house as if it were a prison, bars on his window and everything."

"What?! Impossible…Dumbledore wouldn't allow him to stay in a place like that…"

"Dumbledore doesn't know about it. Harry's too proud and ashamed to tell him, and I imagine he doesn't want any more attention drawn to him, either. He made me promise not to tell a soul after I found out, and I've kept that promise until now. I tried to get him to tell Dumbledore, but I'm afraid he's just as stubborn as you."

"They …beat him? Why? He's their blood, surely they didn't…."

"The Dursleys hate magic, Severus. You didn't know Lily as well as I did, but I'm sure you heard her mention Petunia?"

"Once or twice, and never with pleasure."

"Yes, well Petunia hated Lily above and beyond a simple sibling rivalry…she thought Lily was a freak. Once they no longer had to live in the same house, Petunia severed all relations with her sister. She's carried that hate on to Harry, and her husband is the same way. Harry had to sleep locked in a broom closet for eleven years."

"Remus, you are coming with me to see Albus this instant, I'll not allow that…that FAMILY to ever…"

"No."

"What?!"

"Tell Harry."

"I can't, you know that!"

"He's your SON, Severus."

"I'm aware of that…"

"Then say it, admit it out loud."

"Fine. Harry is my son. Now, can we please get on with it? I may not wish that fact to be known, but I will NOT stand for ANYONE mistreating him."

"And how, precisely, do you think he sees YOUR behavior toward him and all the Gryffindors?"

"That is different. I have no choice, as long as Voldemort lives and I retain my title as 'spy.'"

"Yes, but you could always let him know that….let him know YOU."

"Oh, so we're back on that again, are we?"

"It's the only way you can keep him safe from the Dursleys….by telling him the truth."

"As I've already said, No. WE will inform Albus of the…abuse, and nothing more."

"If we tell Dumbledore, he will remove Harry from that house. Harry will have no choice but to go to an orphanage or a temporary care facility. Now, imagine what that would do to him….he's already got more than enough in common with the Dark Lord, how do you think he'd react to yet another?"

"Surely no worse than if I talked to him."

"I doubt that, Severus. I will make you a deal. If you agree to tell Harry and Dumbledore the truth, then I will come with you right now to talk to him about the Dursleys."

"But then Albus would send him to live with ME. I couldn't do that Remus, I'd be worse than the Dursleys…"

"No you wouldn't. You've never hit a student, and I know for a fact that all that yelling you do is just an act. You only need to give yourself a chance, and spare your son another summer of beatings."

"Very well…."

"Promise and swear that you will tell Harry, and soon."

"I promise that I will tell…Harry…the truth before christmas. Are you happy now?"

"Yes, but you understand that I am not doing this for 'me.' I'm doing this for Harry…and for you."

"Me?"

"Yes. You have a son, Severus. You have as much right to know him as he does you. You're both the only real family either of you has."

"I'd have to agree with you on the last…but can we please get on with it? I'd like to tell Albus and get this whole thing over with as soon as possible, I'm sure he'll have plenty to say."

"He won't be ashamed of you, you know that."

"Yes…but then he doesn't have to be."