Reposted for spelling mistakes and new sentences. This is a Carby drabble I wrote during season 10.
I'm from outside the US, sorry for mistakes.

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Missing The Sunbeams

A lock of her brown hair wrapped losely around my finger, her chest raising and falling in a steady, slow rythm, the soft sound of her breath. Still in her own world of dreams.

The beams of light begin to crawl over our faces, the sky still in a soft rubyred. Her skin roughened with misery and the soft shade of pink on her cheeks that shows me how she used to be, and still is on the inside. So vulnerable, so sweet when you know her even better than you think you do. So scared of everything that she loves and could lose.

But yet she is so calm, and she looks too breakable to touch. Like she could fall back in the pieces she has been. But here, she is safe, and there's nothing that could happen to her now, unless I wake her up.


She never deserved it, the way she had to live her life. For her it's not just something to have somebody to rely on, and if there is somebody, she'll never know for how long.
I don't know why we are so wrong for each other, I don't know what the reason was for everything that we both let happen; the happiness that could only less for a year and then slipped through our fingers like a feather.
We're not strong; we're touchable, easy to hurt.

The sunbeams disappeared, grey clouds are covering the freezing bedroom. She should have turned up the heat a little instead of the heavy sweater she's wearing now.

My sweater, a smile creeps on my face when I see that it's mine.
The old red, the hood that should be on her back.
My hand slides of her shoulder to her back so I can feel it.

Her eyelashes shiver and are being lift up by her eyes that try to focus on mine.
Blinking away the sleep she swallows and replaces her head from her own to my pillow.

"Goodmorning," she whispers and soft drops of rain start to hit the window behind me.

"Hey there," I answer her sleep voice and lay back on my pillow.

"It's freezing in here," she frowns and her eyes look up to me.

I nod and lift my head up a little to look at the sky that's becoming darker by the minute, no rubyred anymore.

"The sun shined a minute ago," I mumble frowning. Disappointed my head falls back on the pillow and I look at her.

"Not in January," she answers me and lays her head on my chest, a tender kiss through my t-shirt.

She missed it. She missed the little sunbeams that sparkled on her face, and now the rain is back, beginning to drown the city.

My hand strokes her beautiful brown hair, scent of honey.

"New shampoo?" I nuzzle in her hair and kiss her hairline.

"Sample. It came with a magazine," she smirks and tickles a trail with her fingers from my chest to my chin.

"It suits you," I mumble.

She looks up, chocolate brown eyes to drown in. "Honey?"

Hint of irony while she holds her head a little skew.

"Yes," I state just before our lips melt together, my arms around her small back, hidden under the old red sweater.

"Look...," she whispers and stares up through the window.

"What?" I ask disturbed and turn around, catching the sun, slowly breaking through the dark clouds until it touches our faces again.

"Told you," I say amazed and turn my head to her. But she's not looking at that.

"No, no, there...," she points to the other side of the sky.

And then I see what she means, what amazes her so all of a sudden. Six, maybe seven colors; shades of green, blue, purple and red, in one bow through the sky.

"It's beautiful," she almost sounds surprised. "Never really saw one...," she mumbles.

"Rainbows?" I ask softly, little perplexed.

"This beautiful? No."
She doesn't look at me; she's focused on the view of her simple bedroom window. Her eyes squeezed a little against the sun, beams that shine on her cheeks.

I lay back on the matrass and look up at her.

Maybe we used to have a communication problem, or maybe we still have.
But now everything seems to be so perfect, and now we seem to communicate so smoothly...

She smiles at me, with those deep brown sparkling eyes.
Her hands covered in the sleeves of her sweater. But she doesn't say anything. Her lips move, but I hear no sound.
Desperately I try to understand what she's telling me, but then she starts to vanish until she disappeared.
The sound of rain that's pouring down my window opens my eyes.

Frustrated I feel the other side of the matrass but feel nothing but the canvas of the tent I'm sleeping in.

I can't believe that none of this was true, although I knew that it never would be.
Never again.

- fin -