W. D. knew something was in the air.
He knew when he saw this Carlyle eyeing his sister when they met after their performance. He did his best then to appear dangerous, to pierce this man through with his eyes. It seemed to work. After his and Anne's lifetime experience in the South, he was well aware a behavior like that towards any white man was a risky move.
He knew when Carlyle brought the news about the English Queen, every now and then glancing right, at Anne. He thought no one noticed. She did, and when Carlyle left, looked at W. D. with the same look in her eyes she had when, back in the South, he caught her eyeing one of Mistress' dresses. She didn't know, just like this time, that he was looking, and stretched out her hand, to stroke the red silk. When she noticed her brother, she lowered her head, waiting for a motherly scolding, but he only smiled. Sadly, softly, like always. But his smile hid a warning. Don't. It's not worth it. It's not for us. It's gonna get us in trouble, Annie. This time she also obeyed her older brother's look, but it didn't seem to be enough. She fixed her eyes on the exit door.
He knew, when Carlyle came along with them, under the box, to watch Jenny Lind's performance. Right next to his sister. An older couple looked their way and she turned her head right into Carlyle's face. Then walked away and stood by the back door until the final applause, afterwards greeting her brother with a fake smile. The one with the corners of her mouth twitching down. Carlyle's eyes glistened, and he thought it was emotion caused by Jenny Lind's voice. But while leaving the theatre, W. D. couldn't see him in his usual position at the front of the group. He remembered Anne's grip on his arm and how strong it was. She held it as if otherwise she would lose balance.
Trapeze taught them that long ago.
He knew, when, playing cards with Lettie, she called to the staircase, Oh, pull yourself together, Carlyle. Don't you have somewhere to be?
The young man looked at his watch and ran.
It was ten minutes to eight.
Mr. Barnum booked a ticket for me. It starts at eight, shouldn't be long.
W. D. stood up.
Lettie held his wrist.
Anne was at the theatre.
He knew, when they stood outside the burning building.
W. D., where's Anne?
Anne. His face fell. A flash of sheer horror crossed Carlyle's face as he ran right into the flames.
He knew, when he saw the limp figure in Barnum's arms. He could hear Anne's quiet, croaky sobs against his chest. She broke free of his arms and stopped by the stretcher.
He didn't even try to stop her running to the hospital.
He knew, when, the next day, he snuck into the room full of beds, smuggling some sandwiches for her and found her half asleep, her fingers intertwined with Carlyle's. Her gaze switched from her brother's face to their hands, but she didn't bother to explain. The cards were on the table. Instead, her eyes shone and she let out a silent squeal.
He kneeled beside her and brought her head to his chest, like back in the day when a nightmare woke her up screaming. Swaying calmingly, he found himself praying. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Don't leave her. I want her happy and if you give her that, I can take everything. Just wake up. Wake up.
And he does.
W. D. knows.
And he's happy.
Because Phillip Carlyle never comes back home from a longer absence without her favorite flowers in hand. Because he kisses her forehead before she goes on stage. Because when she bows, Phillip Carlyle's applause is the loudest. Because his sister's smile is so true and so bright it could outshine every diamond. Because W. D. has never seen her smile like that. Because, W. D.'s last promise to their momma isn't going to be broken. There were times he thought it was. But when, lying in his bed at night he closes his eyes, he remembers the exact words.
Get out of here. Wander, wander and wander, until you feel the sun shine on your faces. That means I'm smiling, baby. That's where you start a new life. And to hell with that, let be boring. Let it be inexhaustible. Let it be whatever, as long as you two wake up truly glad you are where you are. It's going to be difficult, finding it. It is. But I believe in happiness, baby. Because I believe in you.
Lettie sings.
Tom Thumb laughs.
The newly appointed ringmaster does a knee slide as the gymnast flies into his arms. He makes a theatrical dip and kisses her.
The crowds go wild.
It's late at night, but W. D. could swear he feels the sun shine on his face.