Lightning crashed and dramatic music began to play as Banana Man prepared to take on his toughest opponent yet. Behind him, his ever attractive and perpetually round female sidekick Grape-Girl prepared his super powerful weapon for the battle ahead. "Well now, my arch-nemesis, are you prepared to lose like you always do?"
Banana Man's arch nemesis laughed the public domain evil laugh, "Fool! You will be the one who is defeated this time! For I, Doctor Artichoke-Head, have acquired a brand new power that elevates me far into the rankings in the Society of the Evil Vegetables!" Another evil laugh, then he reached for his diabolical weapon of pure evil…ness.
"Be careful Banana Man!" Grape-Girl cried, "He is probably over-measuring his new-found ability, but you should really be careful!"
Doctor Artichoke-Head laughed again, (Cause that's all he's good for, really…) "This will be our final battle!"
Banana Man took his weapon from his sidekick, "On your guard, then!"
And both hero and villain yelled at the same time, "Let it Rip!!!" and pulled the triggering devices on their weapons.
Click…Click…Click-Click…
Banana Man stared with disbelief at the scene in front of him. From their fancy weapons, two tops had spun out and were currently clashing in a small pit.
Click…clickety…Clack-Clack-Click…
"Oh, no!" Grape-Girl screamed, "Doctor Artichoke-Head is so strong! How will you defeat him?"
Clack…Clack-clickety…Click…
"Muahahahahaha!" The not-so-good doctor laughed, "Now you see the true depths of my awesome power! I will finally defeat you and rule the world, and there is nothing you can do to stop it!!!"
Click…Click…Click…yet another Click…
"Halten Sie bitte! That is German for 'Stop!!'" Banana Man cried. And with the use of Banana Man's special stop-the-world-so-he-can-rant-about-it powers, everything froze; the rain, the tops, the repetitive theme music. The only thing left moving was him and the object of his anger.
"Was?!?!?! (That means 'What?!?!?!')" Banana Man began, "Why the cantaloupe are we fighting our cataclysmic ultimate last superhero/villain face off of ultimate proportions… with freakin' tops?!?!?!"
Fan person: They are not just "Tops" you Philistine! They are called "BeyBlades" and they are weapons of incredible destruction!
Narrator: Hey, what? Didn't I deal with you in the last episode? Get back behind the relative safety of the Anti-Narrator force field before I narrate you eaten by ninja polar ticks!
Back to the story: The villain laughed again, solidifying his position as the World's Most Annoying Bad Guy Not Appearing in DBZ, "It is how we will solve our disputes in this fic, using our Blades to resolve this matter between us once and for all!"
A few action-packed episodes pass, and both of them are still looking over the pit.
Click…Clack…Ka-Clicky…clackety…
Banana Man finally snapped, "Come on! Why can't we just hit each other?"
"Ha! You are only getting upset because I am winning!" Artichoke-Head declared.
Clack…Clack-clickety-clackety…Click…clickety…
"Whaddya mean 'you're winning'? Look, your top is starting to get all wobbly and swayey…like."
"Gasp! It appears you are correct, my ever-fruit-themed opponent! I suppose it is now time for me to unlock my secret technique! Come forth, Evil Dragoon!"
From the evil top came forth a giant black dragon-type thing, which let out a mighty roar.
Banana Man growled, "If you value your butts un-kicked and your fruit salads low-fat and delicious, you will desist now!" Everything froze in place, just like before, "Wh-what is this? You can summon a giant dragon thingy from a spooty top?!?!? Isn't that cheating? You can't pull some giant evil deity of destructive power outta some kids' toy at the last moment after spending three hours watching it go, 'Clack…Clicky…Clack'!"
The villain flourished his cape (Yet another public domain bad guy maneuver.) "What? It's called a 'Pinch Move'! You superheroes do it all the time, why are you getting all worked up once I use it?"
After Banana Man's power wore off, the Evil Dragoon roared again, and with all the speed, tenacity, and raw power of an evil dragon spirit, he powerfully and in an all-mighty cataclysm, he knocked over Banana Man's plastic toy.
And yet another evil laugh, "Muahahahahaha! Do you see? You had no hope of defeating the all-powerful Doctor Artichoke-Head with your puny powers. So now that I have defeated your Blade, what do you plan to do now?"
Banana Man gave it some thought before pulling out his signature Banana Bombs, "What do you think I'm gonna do? Banana Bomb!" And with all the speed and cat-like grace his name would imply, if bananas were cats, he leapt for his unsuspecting opponent.
Less than five minutes later…
"Wow, Banana Man!" Grape-Girl exclaimed, I can't believe all you had to do to defeat Doctor Artichoke-Head was kick his butt with your amazing Banana-Fu powers!"
"Yeah," he agreed, "and don't ever make me have to defeat the bad guys in any other way ever again!"
Suddenly one of the many fresh-faced child protagonists approached him, "Wow, you must be really strong to be able to defeat him. I wanna challenge you to a BeyBlade battle to get myself ready for the BeyBlade tournament, where I'll fight other Bladers for the right to be the best Blader and a master of all things BeyBlade and…"
Banana Man offered a pleading look to his sidekick, who in turn nodded her approval. "Come to me!" he called, "Banana-Goon!" A giant yellow dragon appeared from his top and roared in the youngster's face. "I'd suggest you run." And with all the speed and strength of both a dragon spirit and a banana, Banana-Goon charged.