'We that just sucked, the whole thing just went to pot and I'm left holding the bag'. Annie kicking off her shoes as she popped down on the bed and looking around the dimly lit hotel room she had rented. Even the room was sullied and dirty and there was nothing to cheer her up. Her mission had gone sideways and she was now in the mop-up mode, trying to think of a way to recover the botch contact with Vladimir Ivanov, a Russian defector and criminal.
Annie's week had gone for bad to worse and she just lay on the malodorous bed of smelly mildew and she cried. She cried for the first time this week, for the first time since Auggie had broke off their relationship for good, after trying twice to piece together what little they had he finally call it quits. Being spies and working together wasn't the right conditions for a true love affair and he could no longer continue. Annie knew he was right but that didn't ease the pain of the breakup. She had thought Auggie was her last chance for stability and happiness but she too felt it wasn't right almost from the very beginning. She was going to try, give it her best and hope.
It was within twelve hours after Auggie calling it quits she was on a plane to France to track down a lead and she was hitting one stone wall after another. Now she has found herself in Berlin and relying on an untrustworthy Russian to give her some clue, some lead on Sami Kateb, an Algerian arms dealer supplying ISIL terrorist in the northern part of Syria. The battle against ISIL is a totally new and different kind of war and is this group of monsters, mobsters or both. CIA's main concern and top priority had grown into finding all the sources of money and arms with every available agent assigned a critical task. Soon sleep took over her weary drained body and a short escape from her troubles.
The next morning found Annie still fully dress from the day before and she with a splitting headache stumbled from bed, splashing cold water on her face did nothing to help. Downing two over the counter pain pills, she headed for the shower. Just standing in the stream of warm water over her body did help a bit and maybe a good breakfast she would be back to 100%. Slipping on clean clothes she noticed a note had been slipped under her door. Who in the world would know where she was staying, not even CIA. Opening the note - 'Braun Grat Gebäude third floor, room 321 at 11:30 today'.
Turning the note over and over in her hands, she couldn't imagine from whom it came but she would go, having nothing to lose. Tucking her gun in the waist of her jeans, right in the middle of her back she pulled on a t-shirt and loose-fitting cotton jacket and strapped a knife holster with a double edge knife to her left leg. Checking her watch she had time for a quick breakfast before heading out to Charlottenburg railway station part of the city and meeting with an unknown.
Gradually easing up the back stairs, her hand resting on the conceal gun, Annie listen for anything out of the way. She was calm but for the slightly vigorous heart rate, that rush of adrenaline she would get with expecting the worse. Slowly, one step at a time she finally reached the third floor, pushing the door open and looking. Good, the hall was empty and with her back toward the side wall she eased her way down to the door with 321 painted on it. Should she knock or just open the door. One last check of her watch, 11:26 so she waited and tried to listen, but no sound. 11:30 and she pushed open the door.
"Right on time Neshema."
"What... Eyal... What's going on?" Annie seeing a man tied to a chair and his head bent down and bloody with Eyal Lavin leaning back on two legs of another chair with his gun on his lap.
"Believe you have been looking for Vladimir Ivanov."
"Yeah I have are you the reason he was a no show yesterday." Annie sharply rebukes Eyal.
"Sorry."
Annie stepping into the room and letting go of her gun, "Sorry... Do you know how upsetting a botch met is for me? And what have you done to him? He is my last hope to find Sami Kateb."
"And mine also. He'll be fine, just taking a little nap that's all." Eyal standing and stepping to one side of the chair. "Would you like to sit down while we wait for sleeping beauty to wake up?"
"You are incorrigible."
"Funny, Rivka thinks the same thing." Eyal tapping the back of the chair for Annie to sit. "Have you had breakfast...? I got a couple cans of soda and some crackers."
"Not very balance diet."
"Helps keep the hungry pains away."
"No thanks anyway I did have time to eat. Have you gotten any information from him that is useful?"
"Nope. But you can have a go at it. Maybe some sweet talking and he loosen up his tongue for us."
"Think he is looking for money. I give it a shot once he wakes. So this is your mission too? Didn't think Israel was part of the coalition fighting IS."
"We are not supplying any war planes but a great deal behind the scenes intel. Israel is sitting in the center of all the battles and at any moment can spill over our borders."
Annie only acknowledges Eyal with a half-hearted smile and nod of her head, never looking at him but kept her eyes glued to the Russian. The room was or had been at one time an office but now an uninteresting grubby place with four straight back chairs and broken down desk with missing drawers covered in thick dust. Eyal pull another straight chair close to the door and straddling it backwards, his arms over the back of the chair and he too started watching. Munching on crackers and slipping soda from a can Eyal was watching Annie.
Only with rays of sun light flitting through dirty windows and illuminating dancing dust floating in the air the room was still, a deathlike stillness and this worried Eyal. Annie was not the normal Annie he knew; she was quiet, too quiet. He mused something wrong but what? Her mission wasn't going the best but the Annie he knew that wouldn't have cause her to clam-up, to turn inward but instead to talk without stopping about how to fix the problem. An hour passed without a word being spoken and Eyal slowly lifted himself from the chair and walked over to the unconscious Vladimir Ivanov, with two finger under the man's chin lifted his head to check.
"Maybe a little ice water will bring him around." Eyal in a low voice speaking to Annie but not looking at her. "The ice in my cooler should be about melted and there is an empty can. You want to do the honors?"
"That sir would be my pleasure." She quickly filled the can with cold water and at a snail's pace poured over sleeping Russian's head, a gentle but steady stream and that did indeed bring Vladimir around, with a few curse words.
Annie in a part kneeling position started her round of questioning. Eyal taking up a guarded position behind them ready for whatever to protect Annie. The interrogation went on for quite some time and Annie never losing her cool but kept with the smooth, low-key trait she had so well mastered.
"If I give you his name and location what do I get in return?"
"Freedom."
"Not enough."
"Protection and money."
He looked around the room for Eyal, "Where is the other guy?"
"I'm standing behind you." Eyal answered. "You should take what she is offering because I will not be so giving."
After careful consideration and weighting his limited options, Vladimir Ivanov started to talk and talk he did. Names, places and dates of weapon delivery. Good intel.
"Our associates with be here shortly to untie you."
"You are leaving? You can't leave me here!" Vladimir shouting at Annie and Eyal as they closed the door and left.
Standing on the sidewalk, Annie calls the Berlin Police with a tip to find one of their wanted criminals, a felon wanted for murder. Disconnecting from the phone call, "Mission accomplish."
"First time I've seen you make promises that you didn't keep."
"What promises? I have kept them all, first freedom, he will have the freedom to live, money will be earned in prison and lots and lots of protection from Sami Kateb when it is discovered our friendly Russian was the informer." Annie checking her watch.
"You have another appointment?" Eyal with a tantalizing smile.
"No, just habit. Thinking I need to head back to my hotel and pack. Time to return to DC." The last place on earth she wanted to go was back to DC, back to Langley and back to seeing Auggie.
"Stay another day and I have an upgrade from your current sleeping quarters." Eyal gently touching her left arm.
"Don't tell me you also have an apartment here in Berlin."
"No but I do have a suite with two bedrooms and one of them is yours for the taking. How about it Neshema, let me take you to dinner tonight, a little relaxation before jumping back into the pits of our shadowy spy world."
"I don't know Eyal, I really should be returning home."
"One night Annie. Just one night away from all the darkness and dirt of the past few days, a nice evening with marvelous food, fine wine and maybe a little dancing. Knowing you, I'm sure you have a dress for all occasions when in Europe."
"I do as a matter of fact. Yeah, okay you have convinced me to stay one more night." Her mind promptly turning to the black velvet dress she had and spending an evening with her trusted and handsome friend. Changing into a more famine apparel and a night of enjoyment might be just what she needed to get her out of the blue funk she couldn't seem to break on her own. Eyal's flirtatious ways maybe just what she needed. Just what she needed to feel like a desirable woman again and not a reject.
"Wonderful. Next let's get you out of the flea bag of a hotel you are staying at." Eyal placing his hand in at the small of her back and guiding Annie down the street to his car.
His hotel suite had everything one could want, all the amenities of the wealthy and Annie had to breakout in an enormous smile, eyes dazzling with delight. Eyal Lavin may be a master spy, a man who is above the top level spies of the world and could get involved in the tainted deals of corruption and sully operations but when it came to his comfort, well he did know how to pamper himself and money didn't seem a problem. This tall and very handsome man who she was sure had seen more than his share of the underside of an immoral and unscrupulous world, who probably had sleep in more dark alleyways and been exposed to the worse elements Mother Nature could hurl at him but Eyal also knew the good side of life.
"Gee Eyal, this is really an upgrade." Annie eyes roaming around the plush living room of Eyal suite when she seeing a bucket of ice with champagne chilling, "Were you planning on... Well did you have other plans and I'm..."
"I text ahead when you were getting your stuff out of that hell hole of a hotel. Figured you might like a drink to unwind. Kick off your shoes and relax before our dinner date." Eyal taking her luggage to the second bedroom, "This is your room Neshema, a bit small than mine but then, hey I'm a bit larger person than you."
There on the dresser was a vase with different shades of pink roses waiting for Annie. "Oh my god Eyal, you didn't. You are such a thoughtful friend. They are gorgeous." Annie picking up the vase and smelling the roses.
"Always need to take time out to smell the roses. You deserve it Annie Walker." Eyal placing her suitcase on a stand, "Now let's pop the cork to that champagne and kick back with some do nothing time."
And do nothing they did. Slipping champagne and listening to soft classical music, Eyal stretched out on the couch in only his jeans and singlet keeping his eyes most of the time closed, only glancing over at Annie every now and then. She was curled up in one of the overstuffed chairs with her glass of champagne and allowing her mind to dream of visions she in the past had. Visions of her and Eyal on some moonlit beach walking just near where the soothing waves would wash over their bare feet. A gentle breeze blowing her full long skirt and Eyal with rolled up jeans, his arm around her and both sharing their personal desires. She mused for a second, Eyal was much to mysterious to share any personal wants or desires, the wonderful, kind man of complete obscurity.
"Is this how you unwind after a mission?" She softly asks Eyal.
"Most of the time if I'm not trailing behind going on another one. The music has a way of relaxing my body and easing my mind. Clearing my mind of all thoughts seems to put things in perspective for me. Sounds strange doesn't it."
"No not really. I can't turn my mind off, it just wants to keep running in a million different directions."
"Concentrate on the music, listen to the serene flow of the sound and push any thoughts trying to creep in out. It takes a while to master but well worth the effort." Eyal taking another slip of champagne and closing his eyes again, "If you must think, let your mind drift to the most beautiful spot in the world."
She watched him for a while, watched him breath with slow deep breaths and sensing each muscle in his body going limp, Eyal in complete rest without sleeping. She placed her glass on the table and too closed her eyes, let your mind think of the most beautiful spot in the world he had said and for Annie, it was the beach. Soon absolute relaxation took over and she fell to sleep.
Now it was Eyal's turn to watch Annie several hours later. Standing next to her chair with Annie curled up in a ball, her arms wrapped around the knees and sleeping so peacefully, like a new-born baby. He could only wonder what had stressed her out so bad, what had gone so wrong to change the positive, jovial and quick witted Annie to becoming a disheartened woman. At times he had the ability to read her moods like a book but not this time. She was keeping whatever to herself, away from him which also disturbed him as she had found an attentive ear and understanding in him on many occasions gone by.
He sight deeply and slowly touched her shoulder. "Neshema, hey little one time to wake up."
"Hmmm... Oh okay." Annie stretching out her legs with a yawn, twisting her back and looking at Eyal. "What time is it?"
"Five-thirty and we don't want to be late for our date. Remember diner with me."
"Of course I remember. Didn't mean to fall to sleep, must have been more tired than I realized."
We have reservations for seven so time to get ready. Anything I can get for you or do for you like wash you back?"
"At it again are you. Thanks for the offer but I can handle my own shower without your help." Annie hastily jumping to her feet and disappeared into her room and bath.
'Well she took that in good spirits maybe all is not as bad as it had seemed'. Eyal pondered, pulling off his singlet and headed to his bedroom for a shower.
Later that evening and Eyal once again always seem to know the best places to dine had reservations at Bieberbau Anbeißen. The restaurant was small and dimly lit. The faint golden glow of a single taper candle illuminated a table set to perfection, sparking and dancing off the fine china and polished silver. Separated only by this simple centerpiece and a round table covered in crisp white linen, Eyal Lavin and Annie Walker sat enjoying their meal.
Eyal reached for his wine, taking this opportunity to cast another glance at his dinner partner. It had been nearly impossible for him to keep his eyes off Annie this evening and the wine filled-crystal glass lingered at his lips allowing him an extra few unguarded moments to appreciate the view. Annie dressed exquisitely in black velvet, off the shoulder dress, her hair pulled off her face and flowing in soft ringlets on her neck. To Eyal she seemed the vision of feminine perfection.
"Are you enjoying yourself, Neshema?" he asked, causing his beautiful partner to glance up into his watchful eyes.
She smiled and dabbed at the corner of her mouth with a linen napkin. "Enjoying myself? Oh, I should say so. This is the most wonderful restaurant, Eyal. You just seem to know the finest place to eat."
"I like excellent cuisine and spend much of my time alone with only fine food to enjoy." He reached for the half-empty bottle of Pinot Noir. Without asking he replenished her glass and then his, then returned the wine bottle to its home. "The Spätburgunder is to red wine what the Riesling is to German white wine, the cream of the crop. The dark red color and the fantastic delicate aroma enhance my taste buds and the perfect accompaniment to our wine braised brisket."
"Taste like blackcurrant or maybe blackberry. Nice flavor, thank you," she murmured, taking a delicate sip of the wine. "I guess I'm still a bit overwhelmed and confused."
Eyal raised an eyebrow. "Confused about what, Annie?"
She shrugged her bare shoulders, causing Eyal's heart to skip a beat. "Well, when you asked me out to dinner, I guess I just didn't envision this, but then I should have because of your taste." she gestured to the elegant surroundings.
"Well," Eyal hesitated, his eyes focusing on the soft curve of her shoulder and neck, moving slowly up to catch her brown eyes with his own. "We just don't get out enough, you know. Not like this, I mean. No missions, just us. As friends." He smiled seductively and drew out the last word.
Annie blushed delicately, taking another sip of wine. Annie thought she was seeing a change in Eyal from his flirtatious playful ways she knew to an endearing and charming man, a gentle man with caring eyes.
Eyal's smile grew. He loved bringing the rose out in her cheeks and he always knew just how to do it. "Besides," he continued. "You seemed a bit down today. I thought maybe a special night out would cheer you up."
Annie quickly looked away, concentrating on centering her napkin squarely on her lap.
"Annie…..if there was something wrong, something bothering you, I hope you'd feel like you could talk with me about it. We are friends and have been through a lot." Eyal tilted his head in question.
Annie's gaze flickered briefly between her food and Eyal's now inquisitive dark brown eyes. "Oh, it's nothing, really. Just…." She fumbled with her napkin again, pulling it to her mouth to cover her uneasiness, her eyes flitting away from Eyal's.
"Annie?" Eyal reached a hand over to gently gasp hers.
"It's nothing really."
"I think you are hiding something and I would hope your trust in me as a friend, that you could share your burden with me, maybe I can be of help." Slowly caressing the top of her hand with his fingers.
It's really so silly. It's nothing you even need to be bothered with," she said taking a deep breath. She looked up and smiled into his eyes. At his look of determination she sighed. "This week…..well, actually the start of this week it all went to hell. You know I'm sure that Auggie and I had a romantic affair."
"I knew that back in Amsterdam. It was Auggie you were going with and not me."
She kept her eyes averted from Eyal and gently pulled her hand free of his. She tried to focus on the couples dancing on the small dance floor in the corner of the room, surprised by the tears that had filled her eyes. "Well after a rough go at trying to have a full and complete romance Auggie finally called it quits Monday night."
"Oh." Eyal breathed. "I guess it kinda hurts? I'm sorry." He regretted the question before it even escaped his lips. He was embarrassed that he'd pushed her into revealing such a personal loss in the first place. He was also vaguely annoyed that she was grieving over her Auggie. Her discontent over the breakup touched him in ways he was ill-prepared to deal with.
"Yes, a little," she whispered hoarsely. "I'm sorry Eyal, I didn't mean to spoil the evening." Annie now wishing she hadn't unloaded on her friend but she did need to talk it out and Eyal did ask.
If they'd been trapped in a den of KGB agents or being threatened by terrorists that wanted to end civilization as they knew it Eyal wouldn't have a moment of trouble finding the right words to tell her that everything would be okay…that the great Eyal Lavin would be able to get them out of any fix they might be in. However, this….this is a different matter. In matters of the heart was territory, Eyal was definitely unfamiliar and inexperienced with. No game plan to draw on, no set rules to follow in this game. There was nothing Eyal Lavin hated more than being faced with something he wasn't good at. He was definitely not good at this.
Annie finally drew her gaze away from the dance floor, fixing Eyal with her eyes that were still slightly bright with tears. Her chin crinkled slightly, the corners of her mouth dropping. "I'm sorry. It's not even that I love Auggie. I mean I did love him. Maybe once and I guess more as a friend... We should have never taken that beautiful friendship to bed." She glanced quickly up at Eyal, noticing his rather aggrieved expression she rushed on. "It's just, we tried and it failed and that's not an easy thing to accept, another failure. You just always kind of remember the day we realized there was more to just being friends with all the hopes and dreams and plans and…well, you never think it's going to end up like this. Maybe I was looking for roots, stability and that seem to be Auggie Anderson. I guess in some way I wish it could have been different, to go back and reverse things - that's all. And yet, I know this was the only way it could be. You know what I mean? Oh, this is so ridiculous. I feel so stupid."
"Hey, it's not stupid." Eyal again reached for her hand, this time holding it firmly in his grasp. He dropped his search for a game plan and decided the only rules to this game were going to come from instinct. He rubbed his thumb over the knuckles of her hand.
"I do understand what you mean, Annie. But I think you need to cut yourself a little slack. From what you've told me both you and Auggie really made an effort to keep your romance together. It just didn't work, Annie. It happens. I don't see that as a failure. You've managed to keep a working relationship and trying to stay friends. How can that be a failure?" Her continued frown showed him he had not been able to convince her. "Look, Annie, you're just a very sensitive person with several bad experiences with love affairs. There's nothing wrong with that. You feel things more intensely than most. That's not always a bad thing. It makes you the person you are. You know, I bet I'd feel the same way if I…ah….well, I mean, if it were me and …..." He trailed off not knowing exactly how to finish what he'd started. He'd been on a roll of sorts and suddenly it felt like he'd rolled right off a cliff. Now it was his turn to pull his hand away and avert his eyes towards the dancers.
"Thank you, Eyal," Annie smiled at him as he looked over at her.
"For what? Dinner? Please, no, it was—"
"No, thank you for being a good friend. And for noticing that something had bothered me. It helped to just acknowledge it…to talk about it. It really did." She reached across the table and tenderly touched Eyal's cheek. She felt the muscles in his face tense, briefly, and she began to pull away when he drew her hand back, kissing the palm and holding it softly against his lips.
The band started a new song, a slow romantic melody that Eyal vaguely recognized. He reluctantly relinquished her hand, smiling gently at her. When her beautiful eyes twinkled back at him he realized that he was beginning to do the one thing he'd sworn he'd never do again. He was falling in love with this woman. The first rule of the espionage game, the one he'd never tired of quoting to himself and now he'd gone and broken it. But looking into her sparkling brown eyes, he just couldn't muster up too much concern about his predicament. At this moment, he didn't want to worry or think about anything other than Annie. He neither needed nor wanted anything beyond simply holding this woman in his arms.
"Would you like to dance?" he asked her quietly.
Annie nodded and Eyal stood, pulling her to her feet and over to the dance floor. Taking her into his arms, Annie suddenly seemed so very small. Delicate and fragile, like the moment between them. He held her tighter, pulling her body against his as she laid her head on his shoulder with a sigh so tender it nearly broke his heart. His breath rustled the tendrils of hair at the nape of her neck and the scent of her perfume enveloped him until all he could think and all he could feel was being in her embrace.
'Is this how it feels? Is this it? This total, overwhelming sense of everything in the world spiraling down to this one moment?…her heart beating next to mine?' It just seemed so simple and yet so perfectly complex. It was the answer to all his questions. It was a million more questions left to answer and the hurdles they would have to jump. But they had plenty of time to figure it all out…all the time in the world. Right now, this instant, there was only the two of them, in each other's arms, swaying slowly to the music.
"Could I have this dance, for the rest of my life?" Eyal whispered.
Annie leaned back, looking up into his face, a question in her eyes.
"The song," he smiled down at her. "Isn't that the lyrics to this song?"
With a knowing smile, Annie moved back closer into circle of Eyal's arms, her breath warm on his neck. "Yes." she murmured softly, answering both his questions.
He never wanted this night to end but time has a way of slipping past and it was early morning when they returned to Eyal's hotel suite. Lifting Annie's wrap from her shoulders he leaned his head down with a tenderly kiss on her right shoulder.
"Thank you for a wonderful night Annie." He whispered ever so softly, slowly turning her to face him.
"Annie you are a beautiful woman, appealing and sweet-tempered in every way. Being with you is so gratifying to me, just your presence is pleasing and how I enjoy just being with you with all the good and bad thrown together. I never in my wildest dreams figured I could ever feel this way again but you Annie Walker have touched me more deeply than I can express."
Annie moving her hand to the side of Eyal's face, ever so gently stroking his sideburns, "Maybe it has been fate that kept pushing us together over the years for I too have come to know in my heart you have a very special place, much more than friendship."
He pulling her close to his body, his hand holding the back of her neck affectionately and kissing first her forehead before pull back. "Neshema I never want to lose the bond we now enjoy that of trust and friendship, an unbreakable bond that seems to hold use together even thought there are long periods of absents. If we move to the next stage in this affair it will prove to be very difficult for both of us."
"I know Eyal. I have always known the trials any relationship with you would present but now..."
"Now isn't the best time Neshema, the ambiance and emotions... and oh damn your body just being next to me... We should wait and how I hate to admit that but for us..." Eyal once more trailing off and only kissing her with a passionate loving kiss and one she so readily returned. Holding each other embrace, her head pressed against his chest she started to cry.
"Oh my dear sweet Annie, I didn't mean for you to cry. How could I have been so blind and allowing my feelings for you to take over when you are still hurting from Auggie. I'm so very sorry Neshema." Eyal relinquishing his tight hold on Annie but keep his hand on her arms.
"I'm not sorry Eyal. If you only knew how long I waited for that kiss and for us. I wanted so much to take you up on your offer back in Amsterdam but allowing my logic get in the way. You being Israeli and off-limits... well I guess I was trying to play by the rules. I was using my head and not my heart, Auggie fitted the perfect profile, worked for the CIA, stable and a friend. I now realized I was forcing myself to do what others wanted and I did fail at pleasing them. But it is not about others, but about me."
"What are you saying? That you want to take a chance on us, which we really can make it work with all the road blocks that will be set in place?"
"I think so Eyal." Annie move back into the circle of his arms, move back for her body to once more touch his. "I know so Eyal."
"There will be no turning back Annie."
"I know." She tilted her head to his and he with loving, kind and caring eyes held her chin and kiss her again. Lifting her in his arm and carried Annie, his Neshema into the bedroom. In just one night they found what had been there all along - each other.
