Glee ON Facebook
Chapter 1: Facebook
Kurt Hummel is now a part of the group Dalton Academy Warblers.
Rachel Berry: why you go?
Mercedes Jones and 30 others like this.
Kurt Hummel-Finn Hudson: put down Black ops, and have a little lady chat and warm milk. ;)
Tina Cohen-Chang and 2 others like this.
Finn Hudson: come on, dude! game over bcuz of ur notification.
Kurt Hummel: Wow. you are seriously addicted to video games.
Finn Hudson: Wow. You are seriously addicted to shopping.
Kurt Hummel:…
Finn Hudson: Here's a deal. If you don't shop for a week, I owe you $50. If I don't play black ops for a week, u owe me $50!
Kurt Hummel: ALL VIDEO GAMES.
Finn Hudson: fine. let's see how that works!
Kurt Hummel: fine!
Leory Berry: why is facebook called facebook?
Rachel Berry: google it.
Leory Berry: okay, thanks!
Puck Puckerman and Santana Lopez are in a relationship.
Finn Hudson and 4 others like this.
Brittany S. Pierce: can we still get our sweet lady kisses on though, Santana?
Rachel Berry: Wow, awkwarddd! :/
Quinn Fabray: don't just use her again for a one night stand, that's just plain wrong.
Mike Chang and 2 others like this.
Kurt Hummel is now friends with Blaine Anderson, Wes Park, David Jones, Nick Duval, Thad Knight, Jeff Sterling, and Trent Pinewood.
Rachel Berry: Off topic, but what solos would you like to hear me perform at Sectionals?
Kurt Hummel: Now that I'm not here to fight you for solos, what will happen to glee?
Mercedes Jones and 11 others like this.
Rachel Berry: My Man or Taking Chances? I'll be fabulous in both, that's for sure.
David Jones: No offense, Rachel, but are you obsessed with solos?
Kurt Hummel: yes she is.
Rachel Berry is in a relationship with Azimio.
Mike Chang: you have to be kidding.
Mercedes Jones: Break up with him or you're off glee club, TRAITOR!
Sam Evans: that's just really rude to finn. like WOW Rachel, you don't seem like the cheating type.
Finn Hudson: RACHEL! HOW COULD YOU! I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU. HAVE A NICE LIFE, LOSER.
Kurt Hummel: Having a failed attempt to calm down my brother while wondering what Rachel sees in a 400-pound bully.
Blaine Anderson: not to mention total douchebag.
Rachel Berry: GUYS! Azimio and I are NOT in a relationship! I would rather lose my voice than be with that jerk NEantherdal! Someone hacked me! Ahhhhhhh!
Puck Puckerman: ahahaha, SUCKER! :D
Rachel Berry: Shut it, Puckerman! You are SO paying for this!
Finn Hudson: Rachel, you are not a loser. I'm forever yours faithfully! 3
Puck Puckerman: Finn Hudson is the most gulliable human known to Lima…Santana Lopez was right about the resemblance to the Cabbage Patch Kids.
Santana Lopez and 100 others like this.
Santana Lopez: partayy at my house. parents leave at 11, b there by 11 30. bring wine coolers.
Puck Puckerman and 12 others like this.
Mike Chang: don't upload pictures or else my parents will go CRAZY. Literally.
Brittany Pierce is in a relationship with Jacob Ben Israel.
Artie Abrams: do I even need to say anything?
Mike Chang: no offense, but that's a bit creeperish.
Artie Abrams: and aren't we still going out? did I do anything wrong?
Mercedes Jones: WOW Brittany. this is almost as insane as the Rachel/Azimio Hack!
Brittany Pierce: idk what you're talking about. or what a hack is. but Jacob's head is all fluffy like a Jewish Cloud! lalala
Artie Abrams: ?
Rachel Berry: she got hacked. why would anybody like that perv?
Quinn Fabray and 200 others like this.
Artie Abrams: oh.
Puck Puckerman and Quinn Fabray are now in a relationship.
Mercedes Jones: and this isn't a hack? u guys blow up mah news feed like freakin crazy!
Quinn Fabray: no, I feel the real love coming this time.3
Tina Cohen-Chang: let's just hope for the best that Quinn doesn't get pregnant…again. so be CAREFUL PUCK.
Finn Hudson: and pray to Grilled Cheesus!
Kurt Hummel: REALLY, Finn? REALLY?
Blaine Anderson: completely and totally confused.
Quinn Fabray: last year, I got pregnant. my baby was adopted by Rachel Berry's mom.
Noah Puckerman: get married, get pregnant, and have some hot jew babys gurll.
Kurt Hummel: :/
Burt Hummel: Surprise, Kurt! For your birthday I tried out this Facebook-thing. how do you make a notification?
Finn Hudson: Kurt would love it(sarcasm)
Kurt Hummel: THANKS, dad…:/
Artie Abrams is now single.
Kurt Hummel: awww you seemed so happy with brits
Artie Abrams: but I can't trust her anymore!
Santana Lopez: don't make this her fault, YOU called her stupid wheels.
Artie Abrams: look whose talking!
Rachel Berry: Artie's right, but it still wasn't nice to call her stupid. And this drama keeps you from working on your song for Regionals!
Mercedes Jones: I've never known how it feels to be in a relationship, it's kinda sad so this boy drama just confuses me
Jacob Ben Israel: That will change with meeeee WANKYYY
Rachel Berry: EW.
Wes Park: tis Jacob dude is weirdddd wuts with the "wanky"
Santana Lopez: that makes no sense at all.
Jacob Ben Israel: stop denying that you love me NOT finn, rachel!
Finn Hudson: WHAT THE HELL?
Quinn Fabray: …awkward.
Brittany Pierce: I like cats.
Rachel Berry: I hate it when your boyfriend cancels all of your dates to…play HALO!
Noah Puckerman: dat's why you should just come over and hook up.
Brittany Pierce: what's in the hook? salt water? I LOVE SALT WATER.
Noah Puckerman: make out with her.
Brittany Pierce: making what? food? make some candyyyyy for lord Tubbington so he will stop smoking!
Rachel Berry: puck, stop being a douchebag.
Brittany Pierce: a bag? what color? pink? I love pink its lord tubbington's puke color.
Quinn Fabray:…tmi.
Quinn Fabray and Sam Evans are now in a relationship.
Quinn Fabray: Puck don't comment. YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH SANTANA!
Santana Lopez: EXCUSEME? I wantz on them froggy lips-NOW.
Mercedes Jones: QUAM FTW!
Finn Hudson: what is "quam"
Wes Montgomery: finn, it's the couple name DUHHHHHH like finchel!
Finn Hudson: aww
Quinn Fabray: Santana Lopez, stop posting pics comparing Sam's mouth to guppies and frogs.
Kurt Hummel: She even made a song called "trouty mouth"-she uploaded the video on FB.
Santana Lopez: WHAT? hataz gunna HATE!
Jacob Ben Israel: my mouth is still waiting for a kiss from you Santana.
Sandy Ryerson: WANKY WANKY
Sam Evans: Um no offense, but I think I need to send BOTH Jacob and sandy to rehab.
Sue Sylvester: Will, you taught your kids to be mean-YAY!
Will Schuester: Sam? This goes against our club morale, and you are suspended from glee tomorrow.
Santana Lopez: *keeping it real*, that's wat its called.
Dave Karofsky: get off my facebook, homos! and kurt the fury's getting you NOWWW. you losers suck and need to get out of my life unless you want another piece of the FURYYYY. YOU SUCKKKK!
Mercedes Jones: "somebody" has anger problems.
Blaine Anderson: Karofsky, how could you threaten the life of my lovely boyfriend? My life isn't complete without him, so if you do ANYTHING to him, you're hurting me equally. other words, BACK OFF!
Dave Karofsky: The FURY's GETTING YOU HAIR GEL!
Brittany Pierce: what's the fury?
Blaine Anderson: let's get real here, Karofsky. you bully kurt because you're just a scared little boy. Scared of the truth so you just take it out on Kurt.
32 people like this.
Dave Karofsky: AT least I don't peek at other guys' junk!
Blaine Anderson: I Don't. You are acting, yet again, pointlessly. It's not necessary.
Kurt Hummel: awww blainey33
what would I do without you sweetie
Finn Hudson: kurt you're starting to sound like Rachel!
Mike Chang: 2 things. Kurt OMGOMG you guys are sooo adorable!
and KAROFSKY…you're just jealous.
Dave Karofsky: Why would I be jealous of these homos, nerds, and losers?
Finn Hudson: LOSER? well you probably can't even graduate high school karofsky, and I'm the loser?
Rachel Berry and 54 others like this.
Kurt Hummel: #MYLIFESIOVER.
Rachel Berry: awww why kurtsiewurtsie?
Kurt Hummel: stop calling me that, Rachel. it's really creepy.
Burt Hummel: OhMYGOOSE! I commented on a status. I'm sooo smart!
Quinn Fabray: …
Burt Hummel: ByTunaWalrus(btw), Kurt you have Lunchables for breakfast tomoro!
Kurt Hummel made a private conversation for New Directions and Dalton Academy Warblers.
Kurt Hummel: wait for it.
Blaine Anderson: you can tell me anything honey.
Mercedes Jones: you spilled moisturizer on your new marc Jacobs jacket?
Kurt Hummel: EVEN wORSE.
Santana Lopez: like what?
Kurt Hummel: Karofsky.
Santana Lopez: excuse me while I go crack his nuts.
Noah Puckerman: YEAH SANTANA! I
Kurt Hummel: Santana, that isn't necessary.
Kurt Hummel: it's not that. Karofsky tried to makeout-intensely-with me. and don't worry blainey pie, I DIDN't LET HIM. but he was forcing me to he just constantly tried to take off my marc Jacobs and jam his lips on me. it was horrible.
Rachel Berry: OMG!
Mercedes Jones: KArofsky's…gay?
Tina Cohen-Chang: OMGOMGOMG