The blade in her hand was intriguing.
The sink water was running, wetting her hands slightly, she dropped the blade.
Looking at herself in the mirror, her red plump lips turned into a frown. Emily Prentiss had just gotten back from a date. She looked horrible. She had no cheek bones. No collar bones.
Picking up the blade slightly, she turned it in her fingers. "Don't…" Emily whispered. Putting the shiny blade in between her right index finger and thumb, she closed her eyes shut tight.
As she pressed the blade onto her left arm, her phone rang. "Fuck…" she whispered and slammed her left palm on the granite counter top.
Walking to her room, she picked up her cell phone and looked at the caller ID, it was JJ. "Hey." Emily breathed on the phone.
"Hey, Emily," said JJ, she heard a small smile in her voice. "Listen, tomorrow we're going to the park to have a picnic."
Biting on her bottom lip, Emily played with finger nails. "Is everyone going to be there?" she asked.
"Yeah, I hope you could make it." With that, JJ hung up.
Closing her eyes, she walked back into the restroom and picked up the blade, and quickly made a cut on her left arm, the blood coming out slowly. Staring at it, she felt slight relief and did it again. She kept doing it until the lines were overlapping each other. Opening the cold water, she put her left arm under the running water. Staring at the sink as the water went from white, to red.
~ooo~
"Where's Emily?" asked Aaron, as he poured ice into the ice chest. He looked up, and saw that Derek was on the phone while putting water bottles and sodas into the other ice chest.
"She won't pick up." Derek sighed in frustration.
An hour passed, JJ and Penelope tried calling her house, and still no answer. "We need to go, I'm getting worried." JJ said keys in hand already.
~ooo~
Staring in front her full length mirror, she stared at herself. Her hair was curled, but it looked frizzy, dry, and lifeless. In reality, it was shiny, full of volume, and bouncy. She had no collar bones, in reality, they were protruding out. There were no cheek bones. Her cheeks looked hollow. There were rolls of fat. Her ribs were sticking out and her pelvis as well. Her thighs were huge. There was huge thigh gap. The woman in the mirror wasn't her.
Emily wore skirts, dresses, with a bunch of necklaces so no one would find out. It was working so far. Emily Prentiss has always been this way. With depression, eating disorders, and self-harm. She blamed her mother, for having the need to have a more than perfect daughter.
Thirteen year old Emily Prentiss was looking for something to eat. For the past week, her mother had her drink green tea and a small portion of soup. It was around eleven o'clock, and she was starving. The dinner party had ended an hour ago, and her mother only let her eat salad. It was a few pieces of lettuce and tomatoes. No dressing or croutons, nothing. Finding a piece of chocolate cake in the back of the fridge, she smiled and took it out, and quickly grabbed a fork.
She was about to put the moist chocolate cake in her mouth when her mother came in and took the fork out of her hands. "Emily!" her mother scowled. "You can't be eating cake!"
"I'm sorry mother." Said Emily and hung her head. "I was just a little hungry."
"Being a little hungry will lead to eating a bunch of carbs that you don't need. And that won't help you with your weight. You need to be skinny." The Ambassador emphasized.
Nodding, Emily sighed and looked up at her mother. "I know."
"Good, oh you need to go to the salon to go get a treatment for your hair. Its looks dry." Elizabeth Prentiss said staring at her daughter, who looked like she was about to cry. "Emily, I'm just doing what's best for you."
"I know."
~ooo~
"She still won't pick up." Derek said from the passenger side of the car. JJ was driving the car over to Emily's condo, while Aaron was in the back.
Turning the corner, JJ sighed and picked up her phone, and saw that she had no new messages. JJ had sent more than five text messages to Emily. She was genuinely worried for her best friend. These past few days Emily hasn't been acting the same. When they would eat while they were working on criminology, she would only eat a little bit before pushing away her plate and looked pained.
Emily never joked anymore, didn't laugh anymore. When she did, it seemed like as if it was forced. JJ sped up a little bit, and turned another corner, because they needed to get there as soon as possible.
Something was up with her best friend, and she needs to know what.
~ooo~
Closing her eyes, she poured the anti-depressants, Tylenol, Aspirin, and a few other medications into her awaiting hand. Opening her mouth, and bring her hand up to her mouth, she swallowed them.
Filling up her bathtub, she took off her robe and turned off the water, slipping inside, and reaching up to her old razor that she destroyed, and picked up a blade, and started cutting anywhere, anywhere she could possibly can.
One cut for her mother.
One cut for her sanity.
One cut for herself.
Soon enough, the water was a deep red.
~ooo~
Pounding on the door, JJ's heart was racing, her palms were sweaty, and she needs to be in there. For her best friend, she could feel that something is wrong. "Derek! You need to bring the door down!" JJ said, looking back at Derek with pleading eyes.
Nodding, Derek moved JJ out of the way, and got ready for when he kicked the door down. Once he did, all three of them ran inside looking everywhere for Emily. Derek and Aaron were together, while JJ walked up the stairs, and opened her bedroom door. Emily wasn't there, but what she did find, was a note on her bed.
JJ,
I knew you would come looking for me. I just couldn't stand this anymore. I couldn't stand me lying to you guys, and hiding everything from you guys. I couldn't stand me feeling like I wasn't wanted or needed. I did this job for the satisfaction that I was finally doing something right for once. Granted, I did feel that satisfaction for a while, but then everything came back to me. My mother making me feels like I was worthless, like how I needed to be more than perfect.
I've had depression and eating disorders since I was about twelve. That's when my mother made me feel like I needed to be outstanding. So maybe you'll understand why I'm doing this. Please don't hate me.
I love you guys. If only I wouldn't have had this, I would've done this longer. Please, please understand.
You're my best friend, Jayje.
Goodbye.
A shiver went up JJ's spine, and she held onto the note close to her chest. How did JJ not sense this? They were practically inseparable. Standing up straight, she walked tentatively over to Emily's bathroom. With a shaking hand, she wrapped her hand on the door knob and twisted the knob before pushing the door open.
JJ let out a blood curdling scream, as she saw the sight in front of her. "Derek! Aaron!" JJ screamed, running out of the room, her phone already pressed to her ear, calling nine-one-one.
Aaron and Derek walked over to where they heard JJ's voice. Seeing the expression on her face, they could tell something was wrong. As JJ finished talking to the person on the other line, she walked into the bathroom and opened the door wider, so they could walk in.
"Oh my god…" Derek and Aaron said at the same time. Derek rushed to the tub and noticed that her eyelids weren't closed all the way. Picking her up from the tub, he gently laid her down.
Aaron stared at her malnourishment body. How did they not notice this? He did not know. He gently pressed two fingers to her pulse, and sighed in relief that she still had a pulse.
"Emily." Whispered JJ tears in her eyes, taking a hold of her hands. As she saw Emily's head roll over slightly, she gently smiled. "You're going to be alright. The medics are on their way. Gosh Emily, why didn't you tell us anything? We could've helped!" JJ said, she was sobbing uncontrollably now.
All JJ got was a slight squeeze, and she smiled. Glad that her best friend was still alive.
~ooo~
The paramedics came right away, like about a good five to ten minutes later. JJ was able to ride in the back with Emily. The least she could do was keep her best friend company, since she couldn't be there in the worst times in her life.
It was about an hour later, that JJ was finally allowed to go see Emily. Emily had her stomach pumped, whatever they could pump. She had a few blood transfusions, because she lost a lot of blood. They got to save her in time.
Emily was waking up, while JJ was barely going to sleep. Emily wouldn't wake up, when she went to go see her, so she waited. "Jayje, is that you?" she said groggily.
Lifting her head at the sound of her name, she stood up when she saw Emily looking at her. "I'm glad you're okay! Gosh Emily, why didn't you tell me, I would've helped you."
"I know."
"Emily, you're my best friend and I would do anything to keep you safe, because I love you."
"I know, I love you too." Said Emily before going back to sleep.
~ooo~
I hope you guys liked this. I got the idea from when my therapist told me that I don't have to go to therapy for a while, since I have been making progress. All of this, the whole plot is everything that happened to me. Mind you, I'm only fifteen, and after what I did to myself in the bathtub, I had no idea what was going on, I was coming in and out of consciousness, I was only conscious when my aunt came in (she is my legal guardian). I've been having depression since I was about seven or eight. Also, everything that Emily's mom told her, is exactly what my mother told me.
Anyway, everyone is amazing. Everyone has a story to be told. You are important. More important that you think you are. There are many hotlines that you could call; I don't know why I didn't call any hotlines. Also, if you guys don't want to call a hotline, please talk to me. I know what it's like; don't think that you're alone. I love each and every one of you.
Love you guys so much, muah!
Xoxo.