Prologue

A/N: Before I start, I want to say that I probably shouldn't post this, because I am starting another job next week, and I barely have enough time to write You Don't See It? as it is, but this story came rambling out of me on Monday morning, and I haven't been able to stop writing it. Don't worry, there will be an update to You Don't See It sometime tomorrow. This takes place in an alternate universe where Lily didn't feed Ted and Robin the line about where they see themselves in five years, which led to their breakup.

Two lines. It's positive. She should be happy. She's got a great husband, a good job, and she lives in one of the greatest cities in the world. They were even talking about starting a family. But she isn't happy. How could she be happy?

Of course she knew it was going to happen. Every time she did something wrong, life somehow punished her. She can't believe that she did this. She knew exactly how her parent's marriage was ruined by cheating. Yet she, Robin Scherbatsky, had cheated on her husband. Before they were married or even together, she didn't even talk to him for a month because he almost cheated on a girlfriend with her. And yet, here she is, in the same situation. Except worse, because she actually went through with it. She cheated. And she's pregnant.

A part of her regrets marrying Ted. In a way, life is just normal with him. She could do a lot worse than Ted Mosby. It's part of the reason that she agreed to marry him in the first place. He is safe. And for the most part, she has been happy for the past three years. And she does love him, but she's not so sure she loves him in that way anymore. The spark just isn't there anymore, and as much as she doesn't want to admit it, she's not sure if it ever was.

The thing is, she was happy with Ted. Complacently happy. Life was great, because she didn't know what she was missing. Sure, it wasn't the way she thought her life would turn out, but this was the life women were supposed to want. She was supposed to want the house with the white picket fence, the 2.5 kids, the minivan. The problem was, that no matter what she did or said, she didn't want that, but it was what women were supposed to want, so she went along with it and married Ted.

It was a few months into their marriage when it started. It was innocent at first. Hanging out, playing laser tag, going to the cigar bar, talking about life. All things they had done before. Thinking about it now, she probably should have stayed away, especially considering she had been attracted to him before Ted, but hindsight is a wonderful thing.

He started taking risks. Putting his hand on her thigh as a gesture of comfort. Stroking her back in a friendly way. Nothing harmful. Even if one of the others would have seen it, they would have never called them out on it. Most of the time, she didn't even notice herself.

Slowly, over the course of months, his hand moved closer and closer to places it never should have been. She never called him out on it, though. She enjoyed it. It was exciting. Way more exciting than Ted ever was. Ted never even thought to touch her like that in the bar. So she would let him touch her and turn her on. On those nights, she and Ted would go home and have wild sex. Ted never had to know that she was fantasizing about him. No harm done. They were just playing around.

Then one day, it all changed.

Perhaps it was her fault. She had been trying to distract Ted. He had been heading up a big project for work, and hadn't so much as looked at her in two weeks. She had been beyond horny. They barely saw each other, let alone had enough time for sex. So when Friday night rolled around, she devised a plan. She put on her sexiest blouse and miniskirt, wearing nothing underneath, and headed out to meet him and the rest of the gang at the bar. She figured that when he got there, straight from work of course, she could move his hand up her short skirt and remind him what a hot piece of ass he was married too.

But, he showed up first, not Ted. He was the one to put his hand up her skirt, not Ted. And of course, since he found no resistance in the form of a thin piece of fabric as he usually did, he explored. Though, she was the one that let him. She could have hit his hand away. She could have told him to stop. But she didn't. She let it happen. She let him continue, because damn, it felt amazing. Ted never made her feel that way with just his fingers. Never. He just kept playing with her, playing inside her for an hour. She could barely keep her mind on Lily's stories about her kindergarten class or Marshall and his story about food guy's lunch today at GNB. Her mind was just thinking about how much she could just take him into the men's bathroom right now and fuck him raw against a wall. She didn't care about Ted, or the wedding vows, or anyone else around her. She needed some, she needed some right then, and she wanted it from him.

She was startled when Ted showed up right next to the table. Ted, her husband. Not the man who had three fingers in her and a thumb on her clit right now. She had been so into it that she didn't even notice him walk in. She broke away and stood as fast and she could to hug and kiss her husband, letting his wet hand hit the vinyl seat. She led Ted straight to the bathroom, while he just sat behind at the booth and smirked. The subsequent quickie was some of the best sex she ever had with Ted.

When they came back to the booth, she couldn't look any of them in the eye. It was just hand stuff, but in her mind, it was cheating. She cheated, and then she used her husband to get off on it. What kind of person was she? She made up an excuse to leave, and rushed home alone, much to Ted's dismay.

She had avoided all four of them for three days when Lily finally called her out on her absence. Since she couldn't admit what she did and why she was avoiding them, she had to show up. Ted was working late, yet again, but she knew she had to go. When she got to Lily and Marshall's, she could feel her heart beating, feeling like they would see right through her, but as soon as she saw him, all of her apprehensions were gone, and all of the lustful feelings came back. She wanted the rush of sitting beside him again. She wanted to feel his hands on her again. She wanted to fuck him.

Then Ted called to say he was working late, and as soon as he heard, he invited her to the cigar bar. They shared two cigars and a whole bottle of expensive scotch. She was too drunk to know how exactly they got there, but before she knew it, she was bent over the granite countertop in the men's bathroom at the cigar bar with her pants around her ankles while he plowed her from behind. Even in the franticness that it was, it was different for her. She had never had sex like that, and that scared her, because it wasn't a bad different. It was a good different. An amazing different. The thought scared the crap out of her. She had to get out of there, so she made an excuse to leave soon after. When she finally got home it hit her that she officially cheated. Now there was no turning back. Lily could have argued that Friday wasn't sex, but tonight's dalliance at the cigar bar was no question. That was sex. Not only had she had sex with someone who wasn't her husband, she had had sex with her husband's best friend. What kind of person does that? And worse, what kind of person has sex with their best friend's wife? She spent an hour crying her eyes out in a cold shower, before going to bed and crying herself to sleep in their empty bed while Ted worked.

It took a week for things to start to get back to normal. She could act like close friends around Barney again, and she stopped feeling so guilty in front of Ted and the others. What had happened had happened, and as long as they never told anyone, she could just pretend it never happened.

But then Ted worked late again, and they headed for the cigar bar. Only this time, their cab never made it there. They started making out as soon as they were out of sight of the bar, and they ended up back at Barney's apartment. This time, though, was less about him fucking her into oblivion with intense passion, and more about tender love making. It was another whole side of Barney that she had never seen, or never even would have believed would have existed with his history. The problem was now that she knew she was addicted. Even the slow relaxed tempo of this time was a thousand times more satisfying than even the roughest, hardest time with Ted. There was something about Barney that just made it better. Maybe it was the thrill, or maybe it was him. She didn't want to examine it. She wanted to put it in the back of her mind, but she couldn't. Even as she silently dressed as he stared into space, she couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe if she wasn't married to Ted, that there might be something here.

Over the next few weeks, their meetings became more frequent and more intense. Whenever one of them was having a bad day, they would call the other and meet up. They experimented with all of Barney's crazy toys. They tied each other up. They explored kinks. They did things together that they would never trust anyone else enough to do. Ted never noticed, because he was always at work. Robin felt bad about it at first, but her mind kept finding ways to justify it: Ted wasn't around; Barney was her friend, and she was just helping him out; she was enjoying herself and living the way she never got to because she got married so young. They were quite weak excuses, but they made her feel less guilty. Soon they were spending almost every night together, experimenting, making sure that she got home before Ted got home from work.

But then, the project was over. Things had slowed down for Ted, and he was home more. They had to get more creative. They started meeting at her office or at his office during the day. Sometimes she would make the excuse that she had to work late. She almost couldn't go more than a day without being with Barney. Ted had no such effect on her, and he never had. In fact, she almost couldn't go through with sex with Ted. Even when she initiated it, she still wasn't as into it as she was with Barney.

It was wrong on so many levels. Ted seemed like he was trying to make up for lost time. She kept having sex with Barney, and Ted wanted to keep having sex with her. There were days where she had sex in the morning with Ted, then at lunch with Barney, then again in the bathroom at the bar with Barney, and then again at home with Ted. Somehow she kept up with them. She pushed the guilt out of her mind, because stopping sex with Ted would raise questions, and there was no way she was going to end things with Barney.

But what scared her more was not the sex, or not even Ted finding out. It was Barney. She enjoyed spending time with him. She enjoyed goofing off with him. She could tell him anything. The fact that she could tell him anything freaked her out the most. Barney knew things that Ted didn't: like how she was raised as a boy, how she hated her father, how she would do anything for his approval, how she didn't really want kids, but how someday she would do it for Ted, how shooting was her way to blow off steam. Worse off, she knew things about Barney that she was sure none of the others knew about. She knew about how he really felt about Shannon, about how he considered having a family someday, how his father made him feel abandoned, how he really didn't enjoy the meaningless hookups anymore, how he hadn't been with anyone but her since before that night at the cigar bar. She felt a connection. Yes, Ted had told her a bunch of stuff, but it wasn't the same. Ted would have told the things he told her to any girl. But Barney, Barney would have kept things a secret. It meant something that he told her.

So now, three sets of two lines, three smiley faces, three plus marks and three pregnant readings later, all she is feeling is screwed and confused. She can't be pregnant. She just can't. Sure, Ted would be happy about it, but there is a fifty-fifty chance it's not actually his baby. Frankly, it's more likely to be Barney's because that is just how life works for her. Part of her just wants to run away and never come back. What she should do is tell Ted, bask in the glow of being pregnant, let him spoil her, and pretend like nothing ever happened between her and Barney. It's what any sane person would do. But she can't do that. She can't do that to Ted, she can't do that to Barney, she can't do that to her child, and she certainly can't do that to herself. She has to tell Barney first. He needs to know before Ted. He's the only one that can help her figure this out.